


Fear, Loving and Secrets in the Tri-State-Area

by FanofBttf



Series: Phindace continuity [2]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: But also serious situations, But it's okay I guess, Don't take this too lightly, F/M, Phindace, Sibling Incest, Some Humor, Still not entirely satisfied with the title, You can't have Phindace without some drama from Isabella's side at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-04-12 11:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 113,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4478411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanofBttf/pseuds/FanofBttf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For years, Phineas and Ferb have built inventions, their sister Candace has tried to bust them, their neighbor Isabella has tried to flirt with Phineas, and Phineas has been living in blissful ignorance of both. But when Jeremy leaves for college, when Candace freaks out over that and becomes even more insecure than before, when Ferb figures out just why Phineas cares so much about his sister's behavior, when Vanessa Doofenshmirtz's new college buddy implies that her father's old nemesis is in fact his girlfriend's brothers' pet, when Isabella decides she could get her crush's brother to help her as her new confidant and wingman, when emotions reach their breaking point and feelings become more confused than ever, and when absolutely no one is being open and honest with each other anymore... </p><p>...that is when what has been a stable situation for years suddenly descends into complete chaos, as no one is quite sure what feelings, relationships and friendships will survive the mess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - "Little Brothers"

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is the long fanfic I believe I mentioned before (in the story "The Shrunken Sister", which you technically don't have to read before reading this story but it does help), a fanfic which tries to achieve two of the most difficult pairings of the Phineas and Ferb fandom: Phindace and Ferbella. (For comments about the fandom, please dial 1. For complaints about the pairing, please dial 2. For constructive criticism of the story, please review.) 
> 
> We all know Phineas cares deeply about Candace. We also know he's sung a love song (Gitchie Gitchie Goo) with her and that he builds as much for her as for anyone else, despite her behavior towards him being downright hostile at times. We know that despite everything Candace does not hate her brothers and does, in fact, rely on Phineas for help in case of emergencies - he's almost always the first person she turns to, and as shown in Summer Belongs To You and in Phineas and Ferb Save Summer, his track record of helping her get out of depressions is fairly impressive. He also provides a stable, optimistic, laidback balance to Candace's neurotic, paranoid behavior, and of all characters in the show, he is best equipped to handle her flaws, flaws he comes into contact with much more than Jeremy does, but which have rarely ever deterred him. 
> 
> But all those observations are academic as long as Phineas remains an oblivious inventor and Candace's mind remains geared to two tracks, namely busting her brothers and romancing Jeremy. But those two facts are utterly dependent on the status quo. A status quo that can quite easily be shaken up by one character leaving Danville and going to school somewhere else - as indeed happens in the episode "Act Your Age". In fact, apart from the ridiculous ages that episode implies Phineas and Ferb are in the present, this story can and does fit into the background of Act Your Age. 
> 
> Only with the one important divergence that happens when Phineas is 13 years old (one year before he would have gone to high school in AYA and would have come up with the idea that he had a crush on Isabella) and steers his romantic future into another direction, leaving feelings that might have otherwise remained hidden under the surface to roam free. And that is what turns not just Phineas' life but also that of Candace, Jeremy, Ferb, Isabella and many others from relative stability into abrupt chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Candace (sung by Stacy), "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted".

To Phineas Andrew Flynn, the moment he first met his future girlfriend – his ‘soul mate’, the ‘love of his life’, as people with more romantically inclined minds than his own would have called it – came when he was only three hours old.  
Although he was only just born, his intellect and curiosity were already working well enough for him to take in and try to make sense of everything around him. This was mostly just the sky, as his mother had him wrapped tightly in a bundle from which he could only look up, but it was enough to leave him amazed.  
Then the environment changed as they went into a house, and he was only just getting used to this when he became aware of his mother handing him over to someone else on a lower level. Tiny hands wrapped around him.  
Phineas curiously looked up to see what was happening to him. When he did so, he saw a little girl with orange hair, who was looking at him with as much wonder as he was at her. When she saw what he looked like, though, her face contorted and she looked… disappointed. Somewhat confused. As if she had been expecting something or someone else.  
But Phineas Flynn wasn’t going to let that hurt him. Instead, he tried to cheer the girl up in the only way he knew thus far: he smiled at her.  
And then, after a moment of tension, she broadly smiled back at him.  
They smiled at each other for about ten seconds, and when his mother tried to take him back from her, the girl pouted. “Can I hold Finny-as, mommy?” she asked.  
Their mother smiled. “All right, Candy” she replied. “Why don’t you carry your little brother to the couch. But be real careful with him.”  
Candace beamed, and nodded eagerly. She held little Phineas close to her chest and carried him over to the couch, where she settled in and put the baby on her lap, not taking her eyes off him until well in the evening.  
Candace being intrigued by her little brother lasted about as long as it took for her to find out that he slept half the day, occasionally cried, and was frankly useless as a playmate. But as little Phineas grew older and learned to crawl across the floor, he and Candace became inseparable. Candace doted on her baby brother, who could make life fun simply by being happy at everything he did and thus was the one to cheer her up even when life was dreary (well, him and Ducky Momo). Phineas in the meantime looked up to his big sister immensely, following her everywhere and trying to do everything she did as well – which went completely wrong sometimes, but that never stopped him from trying again the next time.  
It was only as they really grew older, when Candace befriended Stacy and Phineas gained a stepbrother in Ferb and friends in Isabella, Buford and Baljeet, that they grew apart, which was more Candace’s doing than Phineas’. And by the time Candace regained her interest in what her little brother was doing, her sole intent seemed to be to get him punished by their mother for his impossible deeds. Jealousy and obsession consumed her, undermining the good relationship between them which still existed in spite of everything.  
Phineas, on the other hand, didn’t really change from how he was as a newborn and continued to look up to his sister, which made him try to involve her in his projects every chance he got. His exact feelings towards her did change over time, developing from a fraternal fascination into an interest that was more than just brotherly and gradually started to take on the contours of a crush, which in the meantime made him oblivious to anybody else showing similar affection to _him_.  
But given Phineas’ clueless, optimistic and generally a-romantic nature, those feelings lingered under the surface, while Candace on her part continued to see him as nothing more than her sweet, sometimes annoying little brother. It wasn’t until that fateful autumn of 2012, when suddenly everything in their lives started to change.  


oooooooo  


To Ferbs Fletcher, his stepbrother, best friend and partner-in-life in every sense but the romantic one (even if some gossip magazines would beg to disagree on that last part), the moment of first meeting the girl of his dreams came at a wholly different stage in life.  
He had only just moved into the United States with his father, to whom he stuck closely as they travelled around the country, trying to find a place to settle. It was in Danville where his father met the woman who could heal the hole in his heart Ferb’s mother had dug there, and it was there that Ferb had met his future brother and sister. His brother Phineas was a cheerful and talkative boy whom Ferb instantly took a liking to, and who took it on himself from the start to understand what Ferb meant even when he remained silent, with varying degrees of success.  
It was on the third day after their first meeting that Phineas, who had shown him everything inside the house already, decided it was time for them to play in the backyard, and Ferb happily went along. Phineas showed him the sandbox, the trees and the gate, mundane every-day-items that nevertheless became exciting because of the way Phineas talked about them. He was already figuring out what they could do with them and considered proposing to modify the tools in the sandbox when the garden gate swung open and a pretty girl with a pink dress, black hair and a hair bow walked in.  
“What’cha doin’?”  
“Hi, Isabella,” Phineas greeted her, “I’m showing my new brother around the yard! Now, the three of us will be able to play together.”  
Isabella looked at Ferb, who noticed that she had been looking at Phineas with a strange smile on her face that was gone when she turned to him. “Hi, I’m Isabella,” she greeted him. “Who are you?”  
“I’m Ferb” Ferb replied softly.  
Isabella blinked. “You talk funny” she said. “In a good way though.”  
Ferb blinked at her, and after a few moments, a puzzled Isabella turned back to Phineas. “So, what’cha doin’ today?”  
Those first moments of their relationship established a pattern that would be there for the next nine years. Isabella would pay attention to Phineas but always ignore Ferb, even when she didn’t mean to. For the longest time, Ferb didn’t mind that. He found out quickly about Isabella’s crush on his brother, explaining the discrepancy in attention they got from her, and he acknowledged and accepted that his silent ways made most of the other kids feel awkward about talking to him. The fact that Isabella liked Phineas didn’t personally affect him, and even though occasionally he would find it annoying that Isabella was taking Phineas away from him, he never really developed a romantic interest in _her_ besides considering her pretty in general. His primary romantic interests lay elsewhere, with a charming adolescent woman named Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, a crush which, despite acknowledging that it was a long-shot, he maintained for several years.  
But that, too, would all change in the autumn of 2012.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, dramatic prologue, starting with each couple's first meeting (although it'd obviously be hard to really ship them at that stage). The next chapter will leap forward into the present (2012). For now, please read and review!
> 
> (EDIT as of October 6th 2015: Changed Ferb's full name into the canonical version, as strange as that one may be.)


	2. "If only there were two of me, one to bust my brothers and one to be with Jeremy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Candace, "Split Personality". 
> 
> Chapter Perspective: Candace. 
> 
> Yeah, I came up with the idea to use relevant series quotes as chapter titles. Don't know if that's going to work, but I'm just trying it as I move along and I do have a few good ones planned. It shouldn't be hard to find relevant quotes, but finding ones that work as titles is another matter... ah well. We'll see. 
> 
> So, this chapter moves us a little more into the plot. It's from Candace's perspective, as each chapter will be from one character's perspective except when it isn't. Don't expect there to be any order in that. But hey, variety and not knowing whose perspective to expect is fun, right? And it gives us the opportunity to see the situation from various characters' point of view. For the moment, though, we start off slowly, with what should have been a relatively ordinary day at the Flynn-Fletcher household... 
> 
> ...one might call it the calm before the storm.

Candace had had two years to prepare for it. And yet, she wasn’t ready. 

Two years spent mulling it over. Two years spent worrying about the future, about that date which came ever closer. Two years filled with something she’d only been able to forget entirely when focusing on busting her brothers. Two years spent waiting until that day everyone in her position dreaded would come. And now, it was right around the corner. She had just seven more days to go before it happened. 

Just seven more days, and then Jeremy would be off to college. 

It was silly, really. She’d known this would happen long in advance, and Jeremy had repeatedly assured her that it wouldn’t change anything about their relationship if he went off to Povenmire University – it was just over an hour’s drive away, for crying out loud. It would just be one little year in their lives and after that, she could come to join him there and they’d be together and become happy and date and eventually get married and have kids... 

But a year was a long time. She knew that from her own experience, and if that wasn’t enough her brothers’ attempts to ‘make the most of summer’ as they always put it had made it clear just how much could happen over the course of a single season – over the course of a single day, even. Jeremy would meet new and interesting people, he’d blend into a wholly different crowd, and he would surely forget about the girl who currently felt so much younger and less mature than him. She looked at the top shelf behind the bed and wondered whether to try removing Mr. Miggins again. His presence was one of the clearest signs of her immaturity – and yet she just knew that he’d be back before the day was out, because that was the way it had gone the previous three times. 

Maybe she could leave him in place and only remove him when Jeremy came around. That was a reasonable compromise with maturity, wasn’t it? _Now you’re just caving in to your own weakness and you know it._ “Oh, shut up!” 

Candace sighed. Maybe she could call Stacy. It was better than mulling over everything alone. She couldn’t talk to Mom and Dad about Jeremy, as they didn’t understand. Jenny would probably be willing to provide a listening ear but derail the conversation into something about pigeons halfway through. And the boys… 

_Don't get me started on the boys._

Frankly, it was strange to see how little they had changed. Sure, from physical appearances it was clear enough that they were older, but inside, they were still the same people. Phineas and Ferb still optimistically built the craziest schemes every day, while she continued to try – and fail – to bust them. They were probably building something even right now. She would’ve run out to check what it was right away had her mind not been elsewhere. 

She probably should call Stacy. Stacy was the one best experienced to understand, really. Sighing, Candace got her cell phone out of her pocket and called her best friend’s number. 

“Hi, you’ve reached Stacy Hirano’s voicemail. Please don’t leave a message because one of my best friends has stuffed my message box and it’s going to take me a few days to plough through all of them.” 

No help there then. Which left her with one option left to redeem her maturity – go over to Jeremy’s house and spend every waking moment of the next week with him. They still had seven days to go before he would go off to college, didn’t they? She could prepare him for their new long-distance relationship that way, and ensure she’d always be on his mind.

Encouraged, she headed down the stairs and greeted her father before almost bumping into her mother on her way out to the garden. “Candace, honey, I’m going into the basement to read this library book” Linda said. “If you’re going to come and get me to bust the boys today, please do it after four o’clock, okay?” 

Candace smiled. “Got it, mom!” 

Her mother frowned. “You’re not going to obsess over Jeremy leaving all week, are you?” 

Candace blushed. “What, me? Obsess over Jeremy? Pshaw, whatever gave you that idea? Oh no! No chance of that here!” She hastily made her way out of the door before her mother could bombard her with any more inconvenient questions. 

The seventeen-year-old was halfway to the gate when she really stopped to look at the boys’ invention of the day – or rather, creation, because it wasn’t an invention in the technical sense of the word. Instead, their garden was adorned by a gigantic red, thornless… rose? It was the size of her house, and looked so freaky… so bustable… “Phineas! Ferb!” 

Her favorite brother’s head (although on moments like this, he was more like her least unfavorite) popped out from near one of the rose’s leaves. “Oh, hi Candace! How are you?”

“I’ve been better” Candace replied wryly. “What do you think you’re doing?” 

“Do you like it?” Phineas asked. “It’s s’Spring! I know you can’t hear it but there’s really two s’es there. It was Isabella’s idea, since we’ve previously made s’Winter and s’Fall, so she suggested making something combining the unique fun qualities of summer and spring, involving flowers and blossoming nature and so forth. So Ferb and I made this huge red rose to bounce around in! Who wouldn’t love that?” 

Candace could name someone who wouldn’t, someone who probably had had entirely different ideas when raising the issue of flowers but would never dare to say that to her oblivious crush’s face for fear of hurting his feelings. “Yeah, whatever” she dismissed him. “It’s still going to be here by four in the afternoon, isn’t it?” 

Phineas shrugged. “Unless we get bored before then, but the way it’s been going thus far, I can’t see that happening! Which reminds me, I’ve been thinking, since it’s the end of the summer and all, why don’t you join us more often in this final week? I mean, if we’re going to close off the season with a bang, you should definitely be there.” 

Ugh, this again. Candace groaned. “Not now, Phineas. I’m way too busy spending time with Jeremy. I still need to buy him a goodbye-gift.” Her eyes momentarily lit up as she thought of her boyfriend. “I’ve had a shirt hand-made with our picture in a heart in it, and I’m going to give it to him this afternoon, and we’re going to go out on dates throughout the week, and this way, I’ll never really be leaving him!” She blinked, getting back to solid ground. “So, yeah. I don’t have time for your silly little projects this week.” 

Phineas’ smile briefly faltered there. “Okay, I see” he replied solemnly. “Have fun!” 

“Yeah, yeah” Candace replied, heading out of the gate. It was eleven, which meant she still had at most five hours to spend with the love of her life. And she was going to make the absolute most of them. 

The visit to the gift shop wound up being a brief affair, so she showed up on Jeremy’s doorstep only some twenty minutes later. The look in his eyes as he saw her present made her day, as did the kiss he gave her. The remainder of the afternoon was not exactly a success, though, for three main reasons. 

One, that she’d let him pick what to do, and stuck to that even when he suggested playing a video game on account that it was his idea and it was a great cuddling opportunity. The problem was that Jeremy occasionally lost himself in the game, and when he didn’t she felt like she was making a fool of herself for her lack of skills – not exactly a sign of maturity. The moments when he patiently tried to show her what to do also weren’t as romantic as they could have been, and all in all the game eventually wore on her nerves. 

The second problem was the eternal one – Suzy Johnson. Candace was still longing for the days that Suzy would get too old to uphold her charade of innocence, but they clearly weren’t there yet, and Jeremy continued to remain oblivious whenever his sweet little sister graciously served them something to drink and ‘accidentally’ dropped everything over Candace’s shirt. And that was only the least horrible moment of the afternoon. 

The third problem with the date, however, was probably the worst, and that was the position of their gameplay – right across from the window through which she could see Phineas and Ferb’s giant flower in the distance. As many times as she told herself that the flower would still be there when she got back and her mother didn’t want to be bothered until four, the thing wore on her nerves. Here it was, one of Phineas and Ferb’s creations, seemingly mocking her by its mere existence. Soon, she found her eyes glued to the clock and counting down to four PM. Occasional realizations what she was doing and mental reminders that this was the last week she was going to spend with Jeremy and that she needed to make the most of it only worked for relatively brief periods of time. She said an uneasy goodbye to her boyfriend at three-fifty and quickly rushed home. 

The flower was still there when she got there at 4 PM sharp, making her breathe a sigh of relief. She grinned maniacally and quickly rushed through the door and into the basement. “Mom, mom, mom!” 

Her mother sighed at her approach. “Is it really four o’clock already?” 

“Four-o-one, actually” Candace cheerfully corrected her. “Come on, you’ve got to see this! It’s huge!” 

Linda shot her a wary look. “Isn’t it always? That’s the impression I get from your stories, at least.” 

Candace shrugged. “Yeah, guess so. But just wait until you see it Mom, it’ll blow your mind!” 

Her mother nodded, got up and walked out of the basement, taking the time to put her book back on the shelf in the living room while Candace was impatiently waiting at her side. After that was done, she wasted no time in dragging her mother out through the garden doors. “See, Mom? See?” 

Linda sighed. “You know, I know I should humor you, but I’m not even going to say it anymore.” 

Candace blinked, and opened her eyes to look at the all-too-familiar sight of an empty backyard, clear except for the presence of her brothers and their friends. “Hi, boys” her mother greeted them. “And hi, Isabella. Well, I guess that covers that part of the day. Anyone want some snacks?” 

As the boys (and Isabella) cheered and followed her mother inside, Candace came to her senses long enough to realize that this time, she wasn’t going to let it go. She – she needed some kind of explanation for this madness. She thus reached out and grabbed Phineas’ arm as he passed her. He stopped in his tracks and before she knew it she had pulled him towards her, ending with her being face to face with him, inches apart. 

Wait, what? How could she be face to face with him, wasn’t he supposed to be half her size? She had noticed he’d been going through growth spurts before, but she thought she still had a head on him at least. Now, as she mentally measured him, it looked like he came up to at least her nose, possibly higher. It freaked her out. The last time he had been her size was when she’d been artificially shrunk to his and Ferb’s age, on the day that… 

Candace froze. She – she had tried so hard to forget the events of that day, the day which had featured her getting along with the boys and their friends, enjoying being immature, and accidentally gaining... er, _hallucinating_ a considerable... tiny… crush, on _Phineas_. The day had popped up in her memories and dreams on occasion, mostly when she needed it the least, but overall she had been fairly successful in forgetting all about it. 

And she would again, of course, as long as she paid no attention to it. For heaven’s sake, the only reason she had had that delusion in the first place was because she was feeling insecure and immature about Jeremy! If she just spent time with him as she had planned and ignored this nonsense, everything would be all right. 

She became aware of her brother giving her a concerned look. “Are you okay, Candace?” 

“I’m fine!” Candace replied, probably a little too confident. “I’m fine, I just need to…” A question, she had meant to ask him a question, hadn’t she? What was it again? Oh, right. “What just happened!” she demanded. “Where did the giant flower go?” 

Phineas shrugged. “We were still bouncing around in it when a green ray came out of the sky and hit it, which caused it to completely wither away. We decided to throw the remnants into the dustbin immediately because we didn’t want to leave the garden a mess.” 

“I see” Candace murmured. Actually she didn’t see, because those green rays had always been a mystery to her just as everything about the Mysterious Force had always been a mystery to anyone in the household (well, except for her mother, who happened to be completely oblivious about it). “Haven’t we not seen those rays in a while, though?” 

“Yeah, I don’t think we have” Phineas said thoughtfully. “They were here all the time some two years ago, but since then our projects have always disappeared because of other reasons. I wonder why – oh there you are, Perry.” He smiled, picking up their pet platypus and petting him. “We really had fun today, though. It’s too bad you weren’t there.” He looked up at her. “Do you think you could make it tomorrow?” 

Candace grimaced. The day had worn her out and the last thing she needed right now was spending more time with Phineas and being reminded of the events of two years ago. “Listen Phineas, I have got a lot on my plate right now. I don’t have any time to waste on participating in your silly, bustable, crazy ideas!” 

She walked into the house, her expression set in a grim look which softened as she caught sight of her brother’s face in a mirror. Phineas looked really hurt this time, and she noticed Ferb patting his shoulder and giving both of his siblings concerned looks. Candace worried whether she hadn’t been a little too harsh on him and considered going back to apologize until she caught sight of something else. Where Perry’s eyes were usually unfocused, there now seemed to be an… intelligent, thoughtful expression on the platypus’ face. She blinked and looked back to see it was gone. 

She had to have imagined it. She just had to. 

Her life wasn’t quite _that_ crazy just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading everything up till here! If you have any constructive criticism whatsoever, please do not hesitate to use the comment option and tell me what you think. I know there's definitely always room for improvement in this story. But by any means, please review!


	3. "So, you're telling me that I could have fun throughout this entire adventure if only I stepped off the yellow sidewalk and join my doofus brothers?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Candace, "Wizard of Odd". 
> 
> New chapter, from multiple POV's this time as will become clear to you as you read it. The plot starts advancing here.

Perry had had two years without crazy green rays shooting into what he always thought of as ‘his’ backyard. And yet, he knew exactly what to do the moment he heard Phineas speak about the afternoon’s events. For there could only be one explanation. 

Doofenshmirtz. 

It had been two years since his long-standing nemesis had given up evil to join the good guys for good, a new career which had had its ups and downs… to say the least. But even though Perry had visited him last just three months ago, there had been no indication of a relapse then. Heinz had seemed settled in with his current existence, and he had even been treated to a happy back-story for once about how the bills could finally be paid without Charlene’s alimony. And yet there could be no doubt that these rays were coming from DEI. The trajectory made it inescapable. 

After spending the night sleeping uneasily, Perry called in on OWCA Headquarters the following morning to inform Major Monogram that he wasn’t going to Professor Annihilator today – not that that bumbling old man particularly needed anyone to thwart him anyway – and headed off to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. He broke through the wall in the special place he and Doofenshmirtz had previously agreed (before Doof had suddenly given up on evil) he could break in one day because his nemesis had been meaning to get a new window anyway. From there, he had a good view of the room, which was cluttered with rusty inators. Perry’s eyes scanned the area for the inevitable trap. 

Heinz, who was mulling around with some tools in the back, noticed him after just a few seconds. “Perry the Platypus! Boy, has it been a long time since I’ve seen you! How have you been? Still fighting evil every day? Monobrow won’t ever give you time off, will he now.” 

Perry motioned towards the inventions. He had no time for chitchat right now. 

“Oh, you were coming for these, weren’t you?” Doofenshmirtz said. “Yeah, should’ve figured that. You’d never come over just for fun, Perry the Platypus – you’re way too much of a workaholic. That can’t be healthy, you know. Anyway, I found these old inators in the basement somewhere last week and what with me being one of the good guys now, I figured the responsible thing to do was to get them out to the scrap yard. Only then I realized that I didn’t actually know what a lot of them did anymore, and we wouldn’t want some random chap getting his hands on one of my dangerous old inators! So, I decided to test them to find out what they’re for.” He sighed. “Frankly, it – it serves as a good distraction too. My baby girl is heading to college next week. College! Can you believe it? She’s old enough to head out all the way to Povenmire University and I can still remember the day I held her in my arms as a newborn like it was yesterday. I mean, I didn’t actually get to hold her in my arms as a newborn because my car had broken down on the way to the hospital Charlene was staying in and when I got to her room mother and father were already there and they wouldn’t let me in with them so I had to stay in the hallway the next eight hours, but you get the idea.” 

He cleared his throat. “Anyhow, I tested a bunch of the inators yesterday and put them in the kitchen to be taken away later. I’ll tell you Perry the Platypus, that brought back memories. I found my old Dime-Inator, which I’d intended to change bills into pocket change because I would never have enough cash on me to pay the bus fare. And then my Aerobics-Inator, which was supposed to make people all over the Tri-State Area start working out uncontrollably, without being able to stop!” He grinned maniacally. “And after that I would… well, I don’t think I ever got to the part of what I’d do with it, actually. I mean, you’d have all these people working out, getting into fitter shape and wasting their time, but what’s the point of all that for me? That might be why I put it in the basement and never used it. I only ever showed you my best ideas, Perry the Platypus. And those are all gone because, you know, you destroyed them. Cause that was what we did.” He sighed, leaving Perry to reflect on how if the inventions he faced were Doofenshmirtz’ best ideas, he would not have wanted to confront the bad ones. There was a limit to how much facepalm-inducing material a platypus could endure in one day. “But there were some inators that I couldn’t figure out, even though I’d actually labeled them. I mean, look at this one! The ‘Canon-References-Amplifier-Inator’! I’ve been shooting that thing everywhere in Danville yesterday and I still don’t even know what the nametag means! It’s like big laundry all over again! Speaking of which, here’s my old Evil-Uses-For-Zinc-Inspirationator-Inator. Yeah, I really used to have too much free time on my hands.” He sighed. “So anyway, when I fired this one, the next _un_ labeled inator, at a random chair I’d taken as a victim it didn’t seem to do anything! Then I wanted to test it on something remotely human so I tried to use Norm, but what do you know, that didn’t work either.” 

“Did you just admit I’m like a human, Dad?” Norm’s voice boomed from the kitchen. 

Doofenshmirtz grimaced. “No I didn’t, you misheard me. Now get back to work!” He sighed. “So that’s why I had to test the inator on something outside. And wouldn’t you know it, it turned out to be my Flower-Destruct-Inator! I must have made that one years ago to get rid of my allergies. So that’s why I had that ray that seems to have disintegrated a giant flower in Candace Flynn’s backyard. I don’t suppose you’ve met, but she’s a friend of Vanessa’s. I like her because at least she’s not another one of those Visigoths, but she is just a bit off-hinged and she just rambles on and on and on, and it makes me think sheesh, don’t you ever shut your mouth? So anyway, that’s basically why the flower withered away. Just to recap: testing out old inators, intending to destroy them afterwards, not evil. There. Are we good now, Perry the Platypus?” 

In response, Perry pointed to the inators and firmly shook his head. “What, no? I’m not even allowed to shoot off rays when it’s not expressly evil? I guess that wouldn’t make any difference to the rays, though… okay, I see your point. I’ll just hand over the inators to OWCA I guess, and I’ll have to find something else to do with my time. Like read a magazine or something, or browse the internet. Did you know I have my own web show now? I get on with the times! Wait, where are you going?” Perry walked out onto the balcony and tipped his hat. “You’re leaving? Already? Well, be careful, I just waxed the balcony floor and it might still be slippery…” 

If only Doofenshmirtz had said that a few seconds sooner. 

Perry slipped, hit his back against the floor and went sliding back into the room, right into one of the still untested inators. The force of the hit made the inator activate and it sent out a single red ray into the sky before exploding. 

“Wow!” Heinz muttered, helping Perry back to his feet. “I did not see _that_ coming. If it makes you feel any better Perry the Platypus, I think that was my old Attitude-Changer-Inator, and I could never get that thing to work for more than a few hours. And the ray was shot into the sky anyway, so it’s harmless unless it bounces off a satellite or anything, and we’d have to be really unlucky for that to happen.” He paused. “Yeah, pretty sure that’s going to happen now.” 

Perry nodded and ran back onto the balcony, this time making sure he didn’t slip. He jumped off and activated his parachute, ready to head off for wherever the ray had shot off to to ensure it hadn’t wrought any damage. These were the moments he really wished he could retire. 

oooooooo

A new day, a new invention. That was the way it had always been for Phineas Flynn, and that was the way it was today. 

Throughout the past months, he and Ferb had been making the most of summer, just as they had done the summers previous. The rapidly approaching end of summer had never made him feel quite this… melancholic, though. Their group of friends was on the verge of entering the last year of middle school, and it was a reminder that he was growing up. That wasn’t something he ordinarily would have minded, but he’d heard Candace rant about being a responsible adult and that did not sound fun. 

Speaking of Candace, she had been the one to inspire today’s project after he had noticed her watching a show about hamsters last night. He had always liked the way hamsters spent their time running around in a metal wheel, and he would have built one for Perry if not for the fact that their platypus didn’t do much. A giant version of a hamster wheel, though… one they could move through the town in… now that was something else. 

He’d approached the others, and they all sounded enthusiastic as ever, so they got to work on the hamster wheel right away. Baljeet in particular seemed ecstatic, but rolled his eyes when asked about it. “Of course I am excited! These are the final days before we can resume our education! I say school, you say homework! School!” The yard remained quiet. “Why does that never work?” 

“Cause we’re normal” Buford informed him. “Save that stuff for your nerd friends.”

Baljeet frowned. “Wait, are you saying that you also consider yourself my friend now?” 

Buford glared at him. “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean I can’t still give you wedgies, so watch it.” 

Baljeet sighed. “Noted.” 

Phineas was looking at them and marveling how strange their dynamic was when he noticed his sister walking into the yard. The sullen expression on her face instantly distracted him from Buford and Baljeet’s quarrel of the day. Candace had seemed to be irritated yesterday as well, when she had foregone joining their project for spending time with Jeremy. In an odd way, that made him feel uncomfortable, the way a stomach ache normally would. They only had a few more days left. Why didn’t she want to spend time with them? They (he and Candace and Ferb and Isabella, and occasionally Buford and Baljeet too) were a team, weren’t they? Sure, maybe she didn’t always participate, but she’d been there with them for all the major events of past summers, so… the thought of ending the summer without them participating in something together at all would really upset him. He didn’t want to go into the school year with that unease still on the back of his mind. 

When Candace noticed their invention, she scowled. Ah, it was good to see her showing emotion again. “What are you squirts up to now?” 

“Building a giant hamster wheel” Phineas replied. “Want to join us? We’ve even added Ducky Momo-themed posters on the side!” 

Candace blinked. “Oh, that does sound tempting.” She frowned. “But still way too bustable. Plus, I’m busy today. I need to meet up with Jeremy.” 

Phineas nodded, trying to hide his disappointment. “I see” he replied. “So, how about tomorrow then?” 

Candace stared at him. “You’re just going to keep asking me this, aren’t you? No, not tomorrow! Not tomorrow, not the day after tomorrow, not Friday or Saturday or Sunday! Jeremy is going to leave for college in just a few days and I need to be with him every single step of the way for as long as I can! Who knows what will happen to him if I’m no longer there? I’m sorry, but I can’t play with you anymore this summer!” 

Her brother gasped and dropped the hammer he was holding. “But… Candace!” He rushed over as she was about to exit through the town gate. “You’ve always been there with us at the end of summer, you can’t just leave us now!” He pulled on her sleeve to keep her in place. “Why don’t you want to have fun with us?” 

Candace sighed. “Because life can’t always be fun, Phineas! Because not everyone spends all their time building impossible and showy inventions, but some people out there actually have to work to achieve something! And _I_ have to work on this relationship with my boyfriend, the guy who’s going to be the most important person in my life!” Something in Phineas’ mind snapped at that line, but he wasn’t sure what. “And if you don’t get that one day you too are going to have to face reality and responsibilities and stop this dangerous and bustable ‘fun’, you will have to learn to get used to it real fast! Behave for once, will you, and grow up!” 

Phineas felt himself reeling at the mental blows his sister had just dished out to him. He clung onto the gate uncertainly and began to reply even as his mind was screaming at him to get over it, put it behind him and not let it ruin his amazing summer day. Before he could say anything, though, a red ray came out of the sky and hit his sister. 

The young inventor gasped. “Candace!” he shrieked, running to her side. “Are you all right?” 

Candace appeared dizzy. “Yeah… I think so…” she murmured. “What were we talking about again?” 

A confused Phineas pointed at the hamster wheel. “About the ‘dangerous’ invention Ferb and I built?” he said. “Look, Candace, if you’re worried about our safety, we’re wearing helmets and…” 

“Pshaw, helmets” Candace said dismissively. “Who needs them!” She looked up at the wheel and beamed. “Wow, this is the coolest thing ever! Oh, and you even added pictures of Ducky Momo! Can I join you guys? Please, Phineas?” 

Her brother gave her a look of disbelief and growing joy. “Of course… if you want to…” 

“Then what are we waiting for!” Candace pulled him with her towards the hamster wheel, grinning maniacally as they climbed the ladder up to where the others were. It warmed his heart to see her act so happy for once. This was going to be the greatest day ever. 

It took them a few moments of practice running around the hamster wheel, but they soon got it on the road. And from that moment on, Phineas had a great time. He was running around with his friends, occasionally jumping over obstacles they encountered, going in different directions, crashing into each other, and having a lot of fun while they were at it. He also steered the machine in the correct directions on occasion, piloting it from the seat on top of the wheel. It was quite a bumpy ride. 

After about half an hour of steering the wheel all over town, Phineas heard a soft voice call his name. He looked sideways to see Isabella sitting on the seat next to him and winking at him. “Enjoying the day so far?” 

“Yeah, it’s been pretty great” he replied. “Exhilaration, running around, making plain old memories… it was so cool that Candace decided to join us. She’s normally too busy trying to bust us.” 

“Yeah.” Was he seeing things, or did Isabella’s face actually turn… sour? Annoyed? Right when he started focusing on Candace? Maybe she’d had one of those pesky mosquitoes fly against her head – those insects were really mood spoilers. Phineas resolved to invent something to get rid of them, but Candace’s appearance at the top of the ladder distracted him from that thought. 

“Hey Phin,” she said casually, “I had an idea. How about we crash this thing into the lake and go running around it in there? You know every adventure is more fun when it’s in the water.” 

Phineas grinned. “I like the way you’re thinking, Candace. That sounds like a cool idea.” 

“We don’t have swim suits on hand, though” Isabella said. “Do you really want to get your clothes wet?” 

Candace shrugged. “I wouldn’t particularly mind… but you can’t tell me Phineas and Ferb wouldn’t be able to invent water suits on the way there. You guys are geniuses who can build anything in under half an hour – let’s see if you can do this, too.” 

“Ooh, a challenge” Phineas replied. “Did you hear that, Ferb?” His brother, still running down below, gave him a thumbs-up. “All right, let’s do this!” He patted the spot in-between his and Isabella’s and motioned for his sister to come join them, only when he did that, Isabella abruptly stood up and climbed back down. He had no idea why she did that. Sure, it was a bit squishy for three, but they could have managed, and it wasn’t like the hamster wheel wouldn’t hold the weight. 

Anyway, he and Candace piloted the wheel over to the lake, Candace occasionally losing her grip on the controls (which forced him to take it briefly from her and correct the course) but overall doing a good job. He and Ferb managed to get the swimsuits ready just in time, and in pretty good quality too. The swim suit they’d made for Candace particularly looked good on her and Phineas didn’t stop staring until she cleared her throat. His own actions unnerved him – he’d never shown such extreme pride at one of his and Ferb’s creations before. He soon decided to put that behind him and they all put their suits on as the hamster wheel sank into the Danville lake. 

Running around the wheel was if possible even more fun in the water than outside it. They were jumping over the wheel, jumping off the wheel, diving under the wheel – making it a competition which of them could manage it from the shortest distance, which Ferb of course won even though Candace made a close second, and by the end of the day they all got ice cream and hauled the machine back ashore, taking it back to the place it belonged. 

“I can’t believe we’ve been out there for hours” Isabella commented as they got back into the backyard. “Your Mom’s probably home by now.” 

“Yeah, and she won’t notice anything, as usual” Buford said. “Hey Candace, aren’t you supposed to be runnin’ up to her and trying to bust Phineas and Ferb?” 

Candace lightheartedly scoffed. “Yeah, right. Bust them for what? For having a little fun? For taking a few r-risks?” She tightly held onto her forehead and appeared dizzy, with Isabella, who was nearest to her, worryingly steadying her. “I… uh…” 

Phineas gave his sister a concerned look. “Candace, are you okay?” 

“I’m… fine…” she murmured. Looking around the backyard and at the invention, she slowly nodded. “Yeah, I’m… wait a minute, I’m not fine! I’m not fine at all! I just wasted hours on your scheme while I should have spent every waking moment with my boyfriend!” There was that itch in his mind again. It was too oddly-timed to be a sign of the flu… “It’s all your fault for making such an impossible and _stupid_ project and dragging me into it and now I’ve got to call Mom before it vanishes!” She gave them a fierce look and took off into the house, the door slamming shut behind her. 

“Well, that was an abrupt return to character” Ferb observed. 

Phineas glanced up at the hamster wheel. “Yeah…” The sad feelings were back, and he suddenly felt like the world around him didn’t make sense anymore. This… this was the second time in a row Candace had called their projects stupid. But she had liked it. She had had fun with them. They had had fun with her… she couldn’t just bring that to an end. 

“Ferb, can you take care of the wheel?” he asked. “I have to go sit in S.H.E.D and mull over something for a while.” 

Now that earned him confused looks. “Phineas, are you okay?” Baljeet wondered. “You are usually never sad. Did Candace upset you?” 

“In a manner of speaking.” He mustered a small smile. “I’ll be back in a moment and then we can all have pie. I just need some time for myself.” 

His friends just kept staring at him as he walked into S.H.E.D, closing the door behind him and only peaking outwards briefly to see Ferb had pressed the button that folded their machine underground again. It was of little interest to him today. He… he needed to sit and think. 

It was one thing for Candace not to spend time with them – he had become used to that over the past years. It was another for her to go so cuckoo over Jeremy that she refused to have anything to do with their projects whatsoever in this _final week_ and instead callously dismissed them at every turn. For her to embrace the project at one part in the day and completely reject it just hours later… it didn’t feel right. It felt wrong, and it left him with a knot in his stomach. 

He loved having Candace there, much more than Isabella or Buford or Baljeet would ever care about her presence. Not that they didn’t like Candace, but Phineas could sense that it made no difference to them whether the elder Flynn sibling participated in their schemes or not. But Phineas… Phineas felt an invention was complete when his older sister would join in with them. Not that he wasn’t able to enjoy himself otherwise, his upbeat nature took care of that, but Candace’s presence added made him love the whole thing just a bit more. The more the merrier, after all, and he did have the expressed goal of making the absolute most of summer… 

Had he perhaps done something to offend his sister? It was possible, although for the life of him Phineas couldn’t remember what he could have done to upset her. He supposed he could just ask, but… 

Oh well. He sighed, and tried to put on an upbeat face. Honestly, he still had a lot of things to be optimistic about. Today had been amazing, and they still had most of the week to go. There would be enough opportunities for fun left over. Smiling, he exited S.H.E.D and walked across the empty backyard into the house, almost stumbling across his pet platypus on the way. 

“Oh there you are, Perry” he said, picking him up and petting him. “Just goes to show that everything is fine again as it should be.” 

He left it at that and gazed straight ahead. It was therefore that he didn’t realize – and wouldn’t for years – that at that point the eyes of his platypus focused, and a look of concern and suspicion emerged on the monotreme’s face.


	4. "That’s creepy on so many levels."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Ferb, "Journey To The Center of Candace". 
> 
> Relevant chapter quote this time, although the Ferb in the chapter kinda subverts his line. Then again, he is a fairly layered character with quite a lot of facets to him. What applies in one situation may not apply in another. 
> 
> But that isn't immediately relevant right now - what matters here is that this chapter slowly starts moving the plot further as the concept of Phindace is introduced formally. What will come of it is, of course, a wholly different matter, one for which you'll just have to wait and see. If you have any constructive criticism to add or just want to add a comment, by all means please review. And thanks for reading the story!

Until about a few days ago, Ferb Fletcher would have said that his life was normal, and consistent with the way it had always been. He would also have tacitly acknowledged that his definition of ‘normal’ would be an entirely different one from everybody else’s. 

Ferb had grown accustomed to strangeness at an early age. His inventing prowess was far beyond that of the average kid back in Britain, and befriending Phineas had multiplied that. Together, they were a team that could do anything. They could build rollercoasters, spaceships, airplanes, mini golf courses… things that he knew well were hardly even considered by the average kids. He was sure their friends would have never built anything on that scale if they hadn’t met him and Phineas. 

Perhaps the odder aspect of his life, though, was not inventing but the sheer absurdity of Danville. How every project they built mysteriously vanished just when Candace wanted to show it to their mother. How strange beams came out of the sky and affected their lives in ways that should be logically impossible. And how every once in a while, what appeared to become an average day would turn into one that was anything but. 

Over the last years, every summer and every summer day had been basically the same. They’d wake up, Phineas would come up with an idea for an invention, they’d build it, Candace would try to bust them, the invention would disappear just on time and they’d all eat pie (or something else. Whatever was available). Their relationship with their sister was mixed in all this. Sometimes she would be furious for seemingly no reason at all – it was those days that made Ferb wonder why Phineas had never figured out what lay behind Candace’s busting – and other days she’d join them. The last week, however, had seen swings between extremes. On one hand she had been incredibly distant from them for several days, obsessing over Jeremy more than she’d ever done before, and on the other hand there had been the events of yesterday, when she’d seemed to enjoy their activities tremendously. Sure, the ray Phineas had talked about was the obvious explanation, but even keeping that in mind she’d seemed to relax much more than ‘just’ a mind reset would have justified. 

Phineas’ reaction to it all was perhaps even more curious, and it was the main thing keeping Ferb up at night. His brother had always been fonder of their older sister than he was, but the greenhead had chalked that up to it being a bond forged prior to his arrival in the family or part of Phineas’ natural kindness. But over the last days Phineas had acted even stranger around Candace than usual, becoming dedicated to the idea of involving her in their projects when possible. It could just be because that was what they did at the end of summer and he hated it whenever something interfered with carefully-made plans, but this was over the top even for that kind of reaction. Something deep in Phineas’ emotions had been hurt by Candace’s actions yesterday and the day before, and Ferb could tell sooner or later those emotions were going to come bubbling to the surface. 

He thus resolved to keep an eye on Phineas, even as they mulled over the plans for that Wednesday. His brother suggested various big and exciting projects before finally settling on something as comparatively mundane as watching movies together. Phineas’ final comment that “Maybe Candace will like it, Ferb!” brought him back to the question lingering at the back of his mind that he’d almost managed to forget due to the normalcy of it all. 

After noticing Perry’s absence, Phineas rushed upstairs to ask Candace to join them, an eager grin on his face, while Ferb was left on the bottom floor to refine their blueprints for a giant movie screen. He had barely made any headway when he heard a bloodcurdling scream coming from the upper floor. 

Ferb briefly filtered various possibilities through his mind, but even they left him surprised when Phineas got back to the kitchen. His brother’s face looked… different, in a way. There was surprise there, but also excitement and wonder, as if thoughts were penetrating into his brain that had never quite been there before. A blink later it was gone again, though, and Phineas’ expression was its usual cheerful, relaxed self. 

“I went up to ask Candace to join us” he explained, after a blink from Ferb prompted him to tell the story. “I heard her in the bathroom and noticed the door wasn’t locked, so…” 

Candace storming down the stairs interrupted the story. “You could have at least knocked, twerp!” she exclaimed. “I mean… you just can’t do that! You walked in on me while I was in my underwear, Phineas! If I hadn’t been half facing away from you… oh, you’re going to be so busted for this…” 

“Sorry, Candace” Phineas said apologetically. “I just wanted to ask you whether you’d changed your mind since yesterday about joining us? We’re going to watch movies together! I’m sure I could find some among our stack that you like…” 

His sister gave him a curious look. “What makes you think I’d want to join you? If I wanted to watch movies, I’d watch them on my own initiative, in my own room – but I don’t, because I have to spend time with my boyfriend! My B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D! Is it that hard to understand?” She threw her hair back and stampeded over to the exit door. 

Phineas ran after her. “But Candace, wait! We had such a good time yesterday! It… we didn’t do something wrong, did we?” 

Candace sighed. “You don’t get it, do you? I need – and want – to spend time with Jeremy, and I don’t have time to be a little kid! Those days are over! Why are you obsessing over it so much? You’ve never gone so crazy over wanting me to hang out with you before!” 

That was, Ferb admitted, a fair enough question, and one which left Phineas momentarily stunned. “I don’t know” he said. “It just feels good to be around you. You’re one of the greatest friends I have. You’re my sister. Doesn’t that mean it’s normal for me to want to hang out with you?” 

Candace smiled faintly. “Look, I appreciate that, but…” Her stare hardened again. “But you have to understand that it’s over, Phineas! I’m going to be an adult now, Jeremy is going to be an adult now, and I can’t go on doing silly and irresponsible kid stuff with you guys, not when I have priorities to think of!” 

Phineas frowned, clearly taking offense to his sister’s words. “It’s not silly kid stuff” he said calmly. 

“Oh yes it is!” Candace exclaimed. “And it’s kid stuff that is not going to help anyone one bit and is only going to waste my time, time I don’t have at the moment!” 

“Well, maybe you would have time if you didn’t spend so much of it obsessing over Jeremy!” 

That was the wrong thing to say. Phineas and Ferb both recognized it as their sister’s eyes narrowed. “I _do not obsess over…_ oh, forget it! I’m leaving! But yesterday was the last time, you hear! You can forget about me joining in with you ever again!” 

“Candace!” Phineas exclaimed, rushing after her. “Candace, I…” 

The door slammed shut in his face and he sighed, giving his brother a resigned look that suddenly struck Ferb as familiar for some reason. As he tried to figure out where he had seen it before, Phineas walked over to the living room table and sat down. Trying to put on a brave face, he smiled. “Guess it’s just us for today, huh.” 

Ferb nodded and put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, as they both tried to put the events that had just happened behind him. The downcast expression on Phineas’ face, though, made him resolve one thing. 

That throughout the rest of the day, he would do _everything_ he could to make up for the disasters of that morning. 

It was a resolution he continued to remember throughout the day and over time, it worked. The two stepbrothers set up their giant TV screen, and they started watching one favorite movie after another. Ferb soon forgot all about the events of that morning as he and Phineas just enjoyed themselves. Isabella, Buford and Baljeet came over as well, and they each got to pick a film of their own. By the end of the day, when Ferb folded in the television screen to recycle it, all the worries of that morning had disappeared from his mind… until he noticed Isabella walking up to Phineas. 

“Uh, Phineas?” she asked him. “My aunt from New Mexico invited me to come over this autumn break. She and my uncle have this big ranch close to the border with one of the largest amounts of cattle in the entire country.” 

“Really?” Phineas replied. “Well, good for you! That sounds so cool. I hope you have fun!” 

“Thanks” Isabella said. “But you see, they’ve told me I could bring a friend along… someone to hang out with…” 

Yes, Ferb could definitely see where this was going now. 

“…someone to explore the prairie with… someone special… so I was wondering…”

“…if we’d join you?” Phineas replied beaming. “Of course we will! Ferb, mark it on our calendar – we’re going to New Mexico over autumn break!” 

The quiet brother resisted the urge to face palm only with great difficulty. Isabella had tried so hard to specify that she only wanted the one person along, but of course Phineas had included him as well. It was hard to blame him for being so kind and inclusive, but… he sighed, and gave Isabella a sympathetic look to indicate that he at least knew how she felt and that he was sorry for coming between them (even if he felt that she just as often came between him and Phineas). He would have walked over to support her if not for the depressed look on her face.

It was a dejected look. A rejected look. A clear expression of romantic failure. A look she had had far too many times.

It was also the _exact same_ look he had spotted in Phineas’ eyes after his argument with Candace that morning. 

Thoughts immediately clouded his mind. _That can’t be it… you’re grasping at straws… that’s way too farfetched, even for Phineas…_ He couldn’t help it, though. Even as he mentally raised his voice at the Ferb heads in his brain to get them to shut up, the thought was penetrating into his active consciousness. 

Phineas liked Candace. _Romantically._

It was creepy on so many levels. But the worst thing about it wasn’t the ‘creepy’ part – it was that, taking everything he knew about his brother’s relationship with their sister into account, it actually made some sense.

If Phineas truly had a crush on Candace, then that explained why he had been so insistent on her spending time with them. It explained why Phineas couldn’t bear the thought of Candace eventually leaving them for college. It explained why he had been so happy singing Gitchie Gitchie Goo with her. It explained why none of her insults and exclamations ever upset him. It explained why he always remained nice to her no matter what she did, building projects for her that he might not for someone who had been much kinder to them. 

It also made sense on a different level that Phineas would be the one to like Candace, because he always saw the good in people. Certainly, Ferb was convinced that their busting-obsessive sister had a good interior beneath her brash exterior and loved them (or at least Phineas) very much, but he also readily acknowledged that she was flawed and mentally not entirely stable. Phineas seemed to be able to look beyond that, to see the virtues behind the flaws and perhaps even the virtues in the flaws. If anyone (besides Jeremy, obviously) _could_ fall in love with Candace, it was him. 

But that was all speculation at this point. Ferb was reluctant to commit to his theory, because if he was right… 

…if he was right, everything about their summer – everything about their lives together – could change permanently. If Phineas was in love with their sister, what would he do with that? Would he try to pursue her? Get her away from Jeremy? What would Isabella say? Their parents? The town? Ferb knew his brother did have a tendency to be ignorant of common (moral) norms, but this… 

Well, there was no reason to panic just yet. On the face of it, it seemed like Phineas himself had no clue that his feelings were romantic – which was absurd, but made sense for someone as oblivious as him. (Ferb had not been surprised had his brother never shown inklings of romantic interest at all). And maybe, just maybe, he was mistaken. Maybe Phineas did just have a strangely close but platonic relationship with his sister. Maybe, just maybe…  


…they could put this behind them. 

Because otherwise it could consume them all. 

oooooooo

Over the next few days, Ferb watched his brother carefully, and to his disconcertion saw nothing to dissuade him from his original theory. Phineas asked Candace along the next day, the day thereafter, and the day thereafter. Her responses remained the same, and his disappointment at those responses remained the same, if anything only getting stronger. Ferb also got additional clarification on the matter when one evening he asked his brother straight-out whether he’d reconciled with Candace yet. Phineas replied that he had, but that she still didn’t want to hang out with them – which, as Ferb had expected, lead him into a long ramble about his personal feelings. Apparently Phineas realized that things were changing, and didn’t like that. Why did Candace have to spend so much time with Jeremy now that he was going off to college? Would she obsess over him throughout the year until she’d finally have the chance to leave for college too? For all his groundbreaking inventions, Phineas was accustomed to the status quo, and the thought that his sister would be leaving them in a year’s time – and might effectively be leaving them right now already – was clearly not one he could cope with. Ferb figured that might apply to any brother – _he_ certainly dreaded the prospect of going to a different college from Phineas when they got there five years from now – but he knew for sure Phineas’ feelings were romantic by the time his brother plopped down on his bed and sighed that yes, they had a lot of other friends around, but they couldn’t replace Candace if she ever cut her ties with them. “Candace isn’t like anyone else. She’s _special_.” 

The vaguely dreamy look he got in his eyes after those words sealed the deal. 

After that, Ferb continued to tolerate the matter for a long time. When Phineas ended the last day of summer on a sour note, though, he knew this was rapidly spiraling out of control. The Phineas Flynn he knew would never allow himself depressed on the climax of his summer adventures. He had to get that version of his brother back, which could mean two things: one, telling Phineas the truth and allowing him to confront those feelings head-on, or two, keeping him in the dark while forcibly steering him away from Candace. 

The second option was the more tempting one, as it meant they’d never have to face the option of Phineas actually trying to date his own sister – which could have disastrous implications for their family relationships. Ferb was certain his parents would not react as analytically as he had, not to mention what Candace herself might think. But as time passed, the second option appeared increasingly infeasible. He did manage to cheer Phineas up from time to time, but every time the subject of their sister was brought up he sank into depression again. Worse, he actually tried to do something about it. And Phineas being Phineas, he of course tried to solve his feelings problem in the worst way possible – by using inventions.  


When Phineas volunteered to come along with Candace in dropping Jeremy off to school, Ferb had thought that to be a tremendously bad idea in itself. So had Candace at least at first, making Ferb suspect that the only reason his sister had allowed Phineas to go along with them at all was a sense of guilt. He had felt worse, however, when Phineas had mulled before he left about maybe trying something that would fix his and Candace’s relationship and Candace’s weirdness around their projects. He had never gotten more clarification, and was forced to watch his brother leave with concern in his heart. 

It was so strange, suddenly having to worry about issues relating to love again. He’d never expected that to happen even now that they went back to school – Ferb had to admit that he’d sort of expected the status quo of Candace dating Jeremy, Isabella failingly crushing on Phineas and them only focusing on their inventions to persist for the foreseeable future. He himself had been in love only once, with Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, just two years ago. He still loved her, but he had never intended to let that tie him down. He knew she was five or six years older than they were and that they hardly met, which meant crushing on her was a long shot. Therefore he always kept her in the back of his mind but never made that stop him from building their inventions to attract ‘the ladies’. Among those girls, however, he had never met anyone whom he suspected wanted to stay with him and vice versa. The only one who seemed to be seriously attracted to inventors at all was Isabella. 

Poor, sweet Isabella. As much as he felt mildly annoyed by her coming between him and Phineas and by her constant pursuit of his oblivious, innocent brother, Ferb couldn’t help but feel sorry for her at times. It had to hurt to be ignored time again and again (especially considering what he now suspected about Phineas’ true thoughts on romance) and she really wasn’t unattractive. Charming, friendly, physically very capable of heroics and still very feminine – so much for stereotypes – she wasn’t bad girlfriend material at all. He himself had long kept her in the backburner of his mind as attractive, but never as anything more than that. He wondered how much of that was actual indifference about Isabella and how much was just his feelings being steered elsewhere due to his crush on Vanessa and his knowledge that Isabella would likely never consider him in that way.

Pondering about Vanessa and Isabella, but also about Phineas and Candace and Jeremy, had Ferb preoccupied for most of the day. By the evening he settled in reading a book, but he instantly cast it aside as he saw the Johnson family car pull up and let his siblings out. 

Candace immediately bolted out of the backseat and ran inside, Phineas following at a slower pace. “Where’s the phone? Mine ran out of batteries and I haven’t contacted Jeremy in over two hours!” 

Phineas frowned as he walked in. “Relax, Candace. I’m sure Jeremy will understand if you don’t contact him right away. He told me he didn’t want you getting all worried over him and that he’d be fine, and that you didn’t have to call right away if you had other stuff to do.” 

Candace gasped. “Did he really say that?” Phineas nodded. “Oh, isn’t he the greatest boyfriend? I’ve got to call him back right away and thank him. Wait, that isn’t enough. I should be able to think of something… something to compensate…” 

As their sister continued to ramble on about her maybe not entirely healthy relationship with Jeremy Johnson, Phineas motioned for Ferb to come to their room. Ferb followed his brother up the stairs, casting an occasional glance back at their neurotic sibling. 

“It was really weird, Ferb” Phineas mused as soon as they got to their room. “Candace rambled on and on about their future the entire trip there. I mean, I can understand she’s anxious, but that was maybe a bit too much.” Ferb nodded, realizing what was ‘a bit too much’ to Phineas would have appeared downright crazy to anyone less inclined to cut Candace some slack. “Jeremy even said he was relieved when we finally left because she’d been checking the apartments surrounding his to see if there were other girls there. Candace continued worrying about that for most of the journey home.” He smiled. “On the plus side, Povenmire University really is a cool place. I mean, it is a law-related school and I don’t want to be a lawyer at all, but even despite that it appealed to me. I just know it’s going to be a tough pick where to go to when we have to go to college.” Ferb blinked understandingly. 

“The thing is…” Phineas continued before stopping to pause and smile. “It’s funny, but despite everything that happened I still had a good time. And Candace was so energetic! I sat next to her for half the way back, and to distract her I got her to count the colors of the cars that passed us, and she was really good at it! I mean, she wouldn’t let me make something that would scan the cars in a wide range for color, but besides that we had fun.” He sighed. “Candace can be such a cool person to be around, so it’s really a bummer that it feels queasy to interact with her these days.” 

Ferb raised an eyebrow. “Wait, didn’t I tell you about that? Whenever Candace is around my stomach ties up, and I don’t quite know what to say – as if I’m nervous for an invention possibly not working, which is strange because I’m sure Candace is functioning well enough. And I just want to sit next to her and put my arm around her, but I tried that twice and she gave me such weird looks that I didn’t do it again even though I really wanted it for some reason.” 

The greenhead sighed. Yes, there was no way he could escape his crush theory now. 

“I guess she’s just being skittish about this whole thing with Jeremy, though” Phineas suggested. “When she gets through it, she’ll be acting normal around us again and spending time with us and everything will be back the way it was. I’ve been meaning to ask her to play Skiddley Whiffers with us, but I’m not sure if she’d like… wait, that’s it! Remember when we played giant Skiddley Whiffers and Candace joined us?” Ferb nodded. “Well, maybe next Saturday we could modify Skiddley Whiffers and fuse it with some other game to make it even cooler, and then she’ll undoubtedly join with us and it’ll all make up for her missing the climax of summer. What do you say?” 

In all honesty, what Ferb wanted to say was that it was probably a receipt for failure, given Phineas’ and Candace’s very different perspectives on life. He shook his head, leaving Phineas with a puzzled look on his face. “No? Wait, you mean you’re not going along with me on this? Hmm, that’s strange. Fine, have it your way.” He shrugged. “I mean, this project would probably require a bit more thinking anyway. Up for playing a game before bed time?”  


Ferb nodded, wondering how Phineas’ mind could work in such strange ways at times. This was going to be a long week. 

Over the next day or two, Phineas continued to come up with new ideas for ‘helping’ Candace, all of whom were rejected by Ferb, although with some reluctance as he could see Phineas’ honest intentions. He really wanted to help his sister, because he cared for her more deeply than he himself knew and because he probably did feel jealous of her giving attention to Jeremy on some level. But this couldn’t work. If he told Phineas the truth, their entire life would change. Ferb would just have to bear the brunt on his own. 

As time passed, however, Ferb found his resolve weakening. Phineas’ usual single-minded focus on his projects had always been a plus, but now that the project was a long-term one called ‘helping Candace cope’, it wore on his nerves. His brother constantly inadvertently reminded him of the fact that he was keeping a big secret from him, and Ferb knew Phineas hated secrets. Not to mention that this was something Phineas really was entitled to know. 

By Thursday, he got a brief reprieve, long enough to think everything was done with. Phineas seemed to have returned to his normal, cheerful self. But Ferb had barely managed to mentally congratulate himself for riding it out when Phineas came to him on Friday afternoon, fresh out of school, with perhaps the craziest plan yet: the Candace-attractor. 

Phineas was down that afternoon, and like a good brother Ferb had comforted him. It didn’t seem to help very much, though. 

“I just want the old Candace back, Ferb” the redheaded brother finally muttered. “I – I don’t know, it feels like I haven’t gotten closure. And I don’t even know why I feel that way, but… we can’t let her go on like this. In just one more year she’ll leave and I’m not sure if I could cope with that. Not that I’d want to stand in the way of her happiness, but…” He blinked. “Wait a minute!” 

Ferb stared at him, his eyes saying ‘Yes?’ 

For the first time in days... (all right, for the first time in hours, there was no need to make the tale overly dramatic and this _was_ his brother he was talking about) Phineas gave him a broad smile. “Ferb! Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” 

The frank answer, of course, would have been ‘No, and I haven’t for a long time.’ But instead, Ferb remained quiet as his brother divulged his plans. 

“I mean, if Candace won’t spend time with us on her own, maybe we could come up with a way to give her a jumpstart and _making_ her want to spend time with us. Something that attracts her. Like… I don’t know… an invention that allows her to forget about Jeremy for a while? He called the other day and I think he said that she won’t give him space, so maybe if we build something to cure her of that one-track-mind and remove Jeremy from the forefront of her thoughts, we’ll all be happier off. What do you say?” 

What did he say? Frankly, it _was_ rather amusing to see his brother struggle to come up with ways to rhyme his usual considerate, unselfish nature with his obvious desire to spend time with their sister. But honestly… this was too much. If Phineas’ plan – that admittedly wasn’t much of a plan yet – were to proceed, either he or Candace but most likely both were going to have their feelings hurt in the long term. This had to stop, right now. 

“Phineas?” 

His stepbrother, who had already started mulling about the details of his scheme, stopped and turned towards him. “Yeah?” 

“I think we have to talk.”


	5. "You're the best sister ever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Phineas, "Phineas' Birthday Clip-O-Rama!" 
> 
> All right everyone, this is one of the first really important chapters for this story. In a way, of course, they're all important chapters, but I'd still say this one is one of the real breakthrough chapters, for reasons that should be obvious to anyone who's read the end of the previous chapter. This one is among the most significant course-changing chapters of this story, along with Chapters Eleven, Sixteen and Twenty-Four. Maybe Twenty-Six too depending on your perspective. But we're not there yet. So, yeah. Hope you like the chapter, please read and review. Oh, and feel free to tell me if anyone thinks the current chapter title quotes don't fit or you know a better one, too. For this chapter, there were a lot of possible quotes from canon which express Phineas' feelings about Candace, but they aren't always generic enough to still make at least some sense out of context. The one I finally went with is short and simple and I think they cover Phineas' thoughts rather well.

“I think we have to talk.” 

Phineas’ first thought when he heard those words was that it was relatively early for Ferb’s sentence-of-the-day. His second was confusion, as his brother preceded him into the backyard and he curiously tagged along. What was this about? A surprise? Well, obviously not that, or he wouldn’t have been told about it. 

The sun was just about setting – it was right around the point where it was too late in the day to do a project, even a small one. Ferb walked over to the tree in their backyard and sat down. Phineas gave him a confused look and sat down next to him. 

Ferb looked him in the eyes, staring at him in that typical expression he had whenever he wanted Phineas to really focus on whatever he was saying. “You know how our parents love each other?” 

Phineas confusedly nodded. “Uh, yeah?” That was… a fairly random subject, to say the least. “Mom and Dad love each other a lot. I mean, obviously they love us as well, but this is romance, right? Not quite the classic movie type with dates and kisses and sugar and everything, but they’re in what could be classified as a romantic relationship. What’s your point?” 

In response, Ferb pointed at his brother. “Me? I’ve never experienced romance before… frankly, I haven’t really been looking for it either. We’ve got so much to do, and romance – as cool as it seemed to be with Baljeet and Mishti back in the day – sounds like something that would take up a lot of time. I wouldn’t know how to approach it, or with whom to try it either. Unless… wait, are you referring to this whole business with Candace?” Ferb nodded eagerly. “Oh, you wanted to hear my thoughts on Candace and Jeremy’s relationship! Why didn’t you say so sooner? Well, I think Jeremy is definitely cool, so I hope they’ll have a good future together… on the other hand, the thought that that would make Candace leave us really nags at me. You don’t suppose we could ask Jeremy to eventually come live here with us instead, do you?” 

Ferb sighed wearily. “Phineas, how do you feel about Candace _yourself_?” 

The redhead blinked. “Well… normal, I guess. Candace is great – she’s the best sister in the whole world! Just think of how much effort she goes through for us every day, how great it is to see her be happy when she’s happy, just think of how she makes people around her smile every day…” Ferb made a hand gesture. “Wait, you mean I should connect the two subjects?” His brother nodded. “Okay, just a second…” Phineas thought hard, mulling the two thoughts over in his brain – his opinion of Candace and romance between his parents, romance like that between Candace and Jeremy… his opinion on that…

The subjects seemed so different. And yet, Phineas could tell there was something connecting them in his mind… something he couldn’t quite make out… “I’m sorry, what exactly were we talking about again?” 

For a moment, Ferb just stared at him, apparently rendered speechless (or motionless, in his case). Then he suddenly grabbed the front of Phineas shirt. “I give up!” He stared into his brother’s eyes, his expression weary and determined in a way that he’d never been before. “Phineas, I don’t know how to say this other than the way I am saying it now, but I have acquired good reasons to believe that you’re in **_love_** with Candace!” 

The thought left him reeling. Phineas’ eyes stared into the distance as Ferb let go of his shirt and leaned back into his position under the tree, watching his brother’s expression carefully. Phineas barely registered his presence, though. He didn’t register anything anymore but the deepest corners of his own mind.

In… love? 

In love? Was he in love with Candace? It… it couldn’t be, he couldn’t be in love, he wasn’t prepared for being in love… and yet… he thought about the facets of his feelings for Candace and compared them to other feelings he had heard of people having – feelings he knew were romantic. Admiration… appreciation… eagerness to be at her side… willingness to do everything for her… 

To be frank, he felt that way about a good many people. But Candace felt different. She’d always felt special to him, maybe all the more so because she didn’t seem to be special to others. But to him, she was. His sister. His beloved sister. The girl he loved. 

The girl he was in love with. 

Romance. Taking a girl on a date. Hugging her, holding her, kissing her. Spending a lifetime with her. Phineas mulled over the thought of doing any of those things with Candace, and he soon came to the simple conclusion that the thought appealed way more than he had expected it to. 

He was in love with Candace. How long had this been going on? How had he not seen that? Thoughts fluttered through his mind of how much he had enjoyed singing Gitchie Gitchie Goo especially with her, of how good helping her out – and the fact that he was always the first person she came to for that help – usually made him feel. Now that he thought about it, the connection to romance was clear. It had been so obvious, so… “Of course” he whispered. The thoughts were falling into place as he dared to vocalize them again. “It all makes sense now! The stomach cramps, the strange feelings – I’m in love!” The realization still dazzled him. “Where’s Candace? I need to tell her right away!” 

He vaguely registered Ferb’s eyes widening, but his mind was already racing. “I’ll go see if she’s inside. Thank you so much!” 

The thought of being in love, of having his first ever crush, made him even more enthusiastic than usual. He burst into the house through the backdoor and scanned the living room, but couldn’t find the person he was looking for. Instead, his mother turned away from the dishes to look at him. “Phineas, are you all right?” 

“Couldn’t be better, Mom!” Phineas gushed immediately. “Guess what? I’m in love with Candace!” 

Then, his mother did something strange. Instead of giving him the smile of delight Phineas had been expecting, Linda Flynn-Fletcher frowned and gave her son a curious look. “Phineas,” she said in an oddly serious, almost concerned tone, “aren’t you a little old to think you can marry your sister?” 

Phineas blinked, his mind puzzled on two things – one, that he hadn’t even mentioned the word marriage yet, and two, that she thought he was too… old? He was thirteen now! And how was thirteen too _old_ to think of marriage, or even dating? As far as he knew, and he did know _some_ things about romance, marriage usually happened when the people involved were at least in their twenties. Or did you have to make some sort of special reservation in advance if you wanted to get romantically involved with your sister? That made no sense at all!

He intended to ask his mother about it, but was cut off before he could as a tired Ferb burst in, replied “Yes, yes he is” and started shoving Phineas out of the room. The redhead was surprised enough to actually let his brother push him towards the stairs. There he turned around and tried to stop his assailant, who nevertheless continued to hold his arms and push him backwards. 

Phineas knew he didn’t want to fight his best friend, especially not when he had no idea what this was all about. “What’s going on?” he demanded. How could – Ferb had told him he loved Candace, and now he couldn’t tell their Mom about it? Did he want Phineas to keep it a secret, and if so, why? Candace had never kept the fact that she loved Jeremy a secret from them… 

Ferb’s face remained in the same setting, and he pointed up towards their bedroom. Phineas relented, put his arms down, and preceded his stepbrother up the stairs. Going along was probably the best way to get a quick explanation for Ferb’s strange behavior. 

Just before he stepped into their bedroom, however, Phineas halted in front of the family pictures hung up on the wall. The recent picture of him, Ferb and Candace made his heart flutter in a way that he could now definitely understand. He smiled as he walked into the room. Even as so many other things remained unclear, he now knew two things for sure. 

One, that for the first time in his life, he had fallen in love. 

And two, that it felt absolutely amazing. 

He wanted to take Candace out on a date. He wanted to hold her hand for a prolonged period. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to try all those things with her people in the movies and other people with relationships did and maybe it wouldn’t work out but he could try anyway, he could try… He smiled, remembering the incident with Baljeet and Mishti he had mentioned before and how he and Isabella had had a small conversation of doing this fun romance thing more often. He hadn’t really gotten around to it over the past summers (although he’d never heard Izzy complain about it, so maybe she’d forgotten all about it by now) but now he could give it a shot. Maybe he should ask Isabella if she could try to find someone she liked romantically – maybe he could even help her with that – and they could compare notes? There were so many things possible, so many options, so many ideas… 

He just kept smiling that goofy smile all the way through as he entered his room and sat down on his bed. 

Ferb, who sat down on his own bed after tightly locking the door, had no such cheerful expression. Instead, he looked rather grim and tired. “Phineas, are you aware of the problems with incest?” 

Incest… that was what having a romantic relationship with a relative was called, wasn’t it? Phineas vaguely recalled there being something problematic about it… but he had forgotten what it was, like he dismissed most problems as something that disturbed his day. He couldn’t really see any problem here, to be honest. What could be the big deal with dating Candace? Was something wrong with that just because she was his sister? 

Ferb easily read the expression on his face and got up with a sigh. He walked over to a nearby bookshelf and got an old, worn but well-preserved book off it. After a few moments of searching, he flipped it open to a page and then put it on Phineas’ lap. 

To be fair, the Flynn-Fletchers were more of the only-go-at-Christmas-and-Easter-people than regular churchgoers, but even someone who never attended a service at all would be stupid not to recognize the book in front of Phineas’ eyes. He ran his eyes along the passages in front of him and an uneasy feeling crept in the back of his mind. 

“I see your point” he eventually said. 

Ferb gave him an easily readable look. _Finally._

“I see your point… I think… but I don’t entirely agree” Phineas continued. “I mean, isn’t what’s written here about much more than a simple date? I… I am new at this whole romance idea, I just want to explore it and see where it takes me. Surely that would be all right? And then there’s the fact that this part was specifically written for a tribe travelling a desert… not to downplay its importance, but you’d really need stricter laws than usual in those conditions. And aren’t there some passages in the New Testament that imply that some of these earlier laws no longer applied?” 

From the look on Ferb’s face, he was far from convinced but was willing to entertain the notion. “Possibly” he replied. “But you are still uprooting long-standing principles of the basic pre-established romantic relationship between _non_ -siblings. And then there’s the question of what society might think.” 

Phineas frowned as he put the Bible back on its shelf. “Society? Ferb, what makes you think we should care about that all of a sudden? I mean, I don’t want to offend anyone… and I suppose I could see why it would be practical to keep a relationship with Candace a secret… but I don’t think I should let that guide my actions.” He stopped. “But _she_ probably would, wouldn’t she? She’d be reluctant to consider me as a romantic partner because of what other people might think.” 

Ferb nodded, giving him that familiar _now you’re getting it_ look. “And then there’s Jeremy.” 

Phineas sat down. “I… I don’t think I’d really considered that… man, that really would present some problems, wouldn’t it? I mean, if he likes her, and then we… and she would… I think she’d probably feel like she was forced to choose, and I don’t want to disturb her relationship with Jeremy… ugh, why is this so hard!” He groaned, throwing his head back against the pillow. “I guess that any chance of us asking her on a date in the near future is out, isn’t it?” 

Ferb frowned at him and pointed at Phineas. “What, just me? You mean, you don’t have those feelings for Candace?” His brother gave him an amused smile and shook his head. “So does that mean I’m wrong or what? We always agree on things. Well, almost always in any case. You seem to have a slight, irrational distaste for Bulgarian folk dancing.” Ferb rolled his eyes. “Okay, have it your way. But that means I’m going to have to confront these thoughts and feelings…” He took a deep breath. “…alone.” 

Alone. It was a word that had rarely been in his dictionary ever since Ferb’s arrival into his life. They had always been one of a kind, different but yet so alike. And of course, now that he thought about it it made perfect sense that romance was something between two people rather than three, he had just been so unused to doing anything without his brother that it hadn’t occurred to him until now… 

But if Ferb didn’t share the feelings for Candace he could now no longer deny he had, that meant he’d have to deal with them alone. He could maybe try to make them go away. Avoid doing anything that could mess up Candace’s relationship with Jeremy. As much as he wanted to be around his sister, the thing he wanted more was for her to be happy. And if that meant that he would never even be considered romantically, then he was fine with that.

Really. He was. 

Ferb walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. “Thanks, bro. I appreciate the help. I…” He sighed. “We’ll get through this, right? We’re Phineas and Ferb. We’re not going to let this romance stuff get in the way of our usual routines. We’ll just have to be more considerate of it, that’s all.” 

And over the next days and weeks, that was exactly what Phineas Flynn was… or at least what he tried to be. He went to school, did his homework, and interacted amicably with his sister, trying to see her the way he’d always seen her. Candace didn’t exactly make things easy for him, though, what with how often she called Jeremy and how much time she spent moaning to him about her romantic future, completely oblivious to how her words were affecting the brother she was ranting them to. Most of those conversations would end with Phineas thinking Candace might never return his feelings, a thought that left him depressed by the end of the day. 

Mainly, the reason he was upset about all of it was because Phineas simply wasn’t used to not getting what he wanted. Not that he was someone who needed to have it all – most of the time, his wishes were simple (well, others might not consider rollercoasters that ran through town or nanobots ‘simple’. In Phineas’ mind, that was just sad because their lack of imagination made them miss out on so many things). But whenever he really had a goal in mind, it tended to upset him immensely if something stopped him from reaching it. And in this case, the goal in his mind was his sister’s love, and to be told that he could never have that felt… harsh. It stung. And try as he wanted, he couldn’t cope with it. 

Phineas _tried_ to act like a normal brother. He _tried_ to be supportive of Candace wanting to hang out with Jeremy. He still attempted to involve her in his projects every so often, but that was often responded to with frustrated rejections. Not that he’d blame her for that, considering how stressful the whole affair must be for her. Candace had issues with trust, yeah, and even Phineas could see her worrying over Jeremy was turning her into a mess, making her unable to do her school work, be gruffer to everyone around her and turning her dreams into nightmares. In fact, he felt all the more encouraged to build something every week because being able to try to bust him and Ferb seemed to distract her from the Jeremy crisis and Phineas would give anything to be able to do that. 

And maybe he was exaggerating. Maybe Candace’s problems weren’t that bad – she did still go out with Stacy once or twice during those weeks, so it wasn’t like she was always thinking about Jeremy. But Phineas still knew this was a problem, and he was reminded of it every time he came past the paper Candace had hung in her room where she was eagerly counting down the days to when her parents (who were actively trying to limit the amount of time she spent with Jeremy because they worried over her grades) would allow her to go up to Povenmire University and pay Jeremy a visit. 

Candace visibly cheered up as the fateful Saturday got closer, until the day before, Friday, she ran her old Nedlington Nymph into another car. Although she herself escaped unscathed, the front of the car was ruined, and in the conversation they had during dinner Phineas saw his parents more angry than he’d ever seen them. Linda demanded she would pay for the damage out of her own pockets and refused to drive her up to college the next day because both she and Lawrence were going to be busy at work anyway and would need the car. Candace was just as angry, and the discussion descended into a shouting match until she finally stormed off into her room. 

Phineas and Ferb had been left watching the whole thing, occasionally glancing at one another. Phineas still had half of his plate left when his sister took off, but his appetite had gone. “Mom, can I go check on Candace?” he asked. 

Ferb gave him a strange look, but Linda nodded. “I suppose that wouldn’t hurt. See if you can knock some sense into her.” She sighed. “Look, we’re not furious with her, but she did total her car and was lucky to get out alive. She needs to learn some lessons about responsibility and being mature. I know she fancies herself as practically an adult, but sometimes she really isn’t… I’d say maturity-wise she’s no older than you or Ferb, except that you probably wouldn’t get into a car crash like she did.” 

Phineas nodded, wondering how Candace would feel if she had heard that, but headed up the stairs anyway. The door to his sister’s room was open, and he peeked inside. “Candace?” 

The orange-haired girl turned towards him and frowned. “What do _you_ want… wait, of course! You and Ferb could fix the Nymph for me, couldn’t you? Before tomorrow?” 

The expectant look in Candace’s eyes was such that it broke Phineas’ heart to have to shake his head. “I don’t think so” he said. “The Nymph was a really special car, and we’d have to ship in a lot of the unique car parts from all over the country. I’m not sure we could do that in just a few hours.” He smiled. “But if it makes you feel any better, I do know something we _can_ do. What would you say if we built a portal to Jeremy’s university?” 

Candace blinked. “You mean, like the one you used to send me to Mars?” Phineas nodded. “Okay, that would work for me too. But how can you be able to do that and _not_ get an ordinary car fixed in such a short period of time?” 

Phineas shrugged. “I don’t know, but I do know that it should work. We’d have to set up a counterpart to the portal on the other side, though… make sure that it stays stable and that we can monitor it from a possibly public, crowded environment… I’d have to come along.” 

Candace stared at him for a few seconds, clearly not happy with the prospect of taking her brother along on a visit to her boyfriend. “…whatever.” She sighed. “If you wouldn’t come along, the Mysterious Force would probably take the portal away and I’d be stranded at Povenmire University. Not that that would be such a bad prospect, but…” She lay back against her pillow. “Fine, build the portal. No pressure, but it has to be done by nine AM at the latest.” 

“You can count on us, sis!” Phineas said cheerfully, walking back out of the room. He almost bumped into Ferb on his way back to the dinner table. Ferb was standing by the railing of the stairs and gave him a suspicious look. 

Phineas sighed. “Okay, I know this might be a stupid decision and that we agreed I’d leave the matter of my feelings for Candace alone. But I have to do this, Ferb. If there’s something I can do to help her and make her feel less depressed, I’ll do it. Maybe then I can get her to join us in our projects more often as well. And I know that me coming along sounds a bit strange, but I really need to be there on the other side, and I can control myself.” Ferb gave him an incredulous look. “Of course I can! Don’t you think I can keep a secret?” Ferb’s expression remained unchanged, and Phineas sighed. “Fine, don’t answer that. Let’s finish dinner and then get to work on the portal. I’ve got all these ideas already in my mind. It’s going to be big, it’s going to be great, and it’s going to be for Candace!” The last part encouraged him the most. 

And it wasn’t like anything would be going wrong here, would it?


	6. "Or Ferb."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Candace, "Phineas and Ferb Quantum Boogaloo". 
> 
> So... yeah, another chapter, this time from Isabella's point of view. (Don't try to spot a pattern in the chapter POV's - there isn't really one.) This one is mostly Ferbella-focused but does advance the glorious cause of Phindace to some extent. Please read and review!

The morning of that Saturday, Isabella just didn’t know what to think or what to do anymore. 

This might sound like the start of some dramatic narrative over the dilemmas Isabella Garcia-Shapiro faced in life, but fortunately she currently had very few of those problems, and neither was the cause for her state of uncertainty. Instead, the thing that had thrown her concept of the day out of whack was a mundane phone call from Phineas, her neighbor and longstanding crush, telling her that he would be going up to Povenmire University with Candace that day, but that Ferb was going to build something on his own and that she could join him if she wanted to. 

Isabella’s first instinct had been to stay at home. Even if she saw him every day, it was fair to say Isabella didn’t really know Phineas’ stepbrother all that well, besides obviously knowing that he was Phineas’ best friend and a brilliant engineer in his own right. And that he didn’t talk much, which to everyone except for Phineas himself presented the main barrier in striking up a friendship with him. She wasn’t sure whether she even considered him a friend – they’d certainly go a long way to help each other if any danger would arise, but wasn’t that more out of common human courtesy or because they didn’t want Phineas to lose the other?

Her plan of staying home all day, however, had been soundly rejected by her mother over the breakfast table. “I know how much you love Phineas, Isabella mija,” she had said, “and I think you two are very cute together. But you cannot ignore his brother entirely. He is an important part of Phineas’ life, now and in the future, and he might have some ideas for you on how to win over the boy of your dreams at last.” 

It was that last thought which had preoccupied Isabella’s mind, and as it became more plausible – she knew Ferb was sharper than his brother and had a much keener sense of observation than anyone who didn’t know him at all might guess, so he really could be of assistance – she got more excited about the thought of going up to the Flynn-Fletchers after all. 

The awkwardness started at her entrance to the backyard. 

“Hey Ferb,” she said, hoping she sounded likeable enough, “whatcha doing?” Huh, saying her catchphrase like this just sounded _weird_. 

Ferb simply blinked in response. 

Isabella took a deep breath. All right, this was to be expected. She uneasily sat down next to him, keeping some distance. “So… what have you got planned for today, now that Phineas isn’t here?” 

In response, Ferb got out a blueprint and handed it over to Isabella. It was neatly written and presented a scheme for a… was that a giant flying truck that also doubled as a restaurant? And from the look of it, the machine had many other functions as well. It was like Ferb had taken some of Phineas’ old ideas and combined them to create a new, entirely different one. 

“Wow, that’s… that’s actually pretty nice, Ferb” Isabella remarked. She looked around the yard. “And I see you’ve already gotten some of the stuff we need delivered.” In the back of the yard a few piles of junk were stalled, most of which she could very well see being used to build the truck and its accessories. Determined to take an interest in his things so that he could take one in hers later on (that being mostly Phineas) Isabella got up and walked through the piles of scrap metal. Yes, there was definitely something salvageable there and… 

There was a lever in the trash, one that appeared to be stuck between some pieces of metal. It wasn’t the kind of switch at an electric light, but more like one of those giant levers you pulled and twisted to make something move, like the time machine at the museum. This wouldn’t happen to be that lever, would it? If that was the case, this thing definitely shouldn't be in the trash. Isabella tugged on it, then tugged a bit harder… 

It should have gone against Isabella’s better judgment to pull the lever so hard, but she’d barely had time to really think that maybe she would be better off leaving the lever in the trash – a thought that was hard to realize once her basic stubbornness set in against the non-cooperating attitude of the lever – when she managed to tug it free. She tumbled backwards by the sudden lack of pressure from the other end, almost fell onto the grass, and then looked up to see the absence of the lever had shifted the balance in the pile just enough for it to start tumbling down. Isabella stared at the threatening pieces of metal coming towards her, shrieked… 

…and was suddenly tackled forwards by a powerful force plowing into her back. 

As Isabella blinked, she found herself lying on the grass face-down. A look behind her revealed that Ferb had landed awkwardly on top of her and had only just managed to escape from the pile of debris himself. Wow. She would not have wanted to stand there just now. 

As Isabella tried to climb back up – and her nerve system decided it was better to remain on the ground for a little longer – Ferb gave her a concerned look. “Are you okay?” he said, his voice laced with worry. 

Isabella nodded, but inside part of her couldn’t help but fume. This was just great. She was finally getting some charming attention and it was from her crush’s _brother_. It reminded her of how Ferb had held her hand and tried to comfort her during that affair with Buford and his ridiculous whalemingo planet. He had been the same way then – so concerned about her safety and well-being, so much more attentive than Phineas usually was. Ferb really was a nice guy. She should pay serious attention to him more often. Even if it was only to get more information on how to woo Phineas. 

“Whoa, are we just going to roll in the grass today?” Buford remarked, bursting into the gate. “I knew Dinner Bell’s absence was going to make the day lamer but I didn’t expect it would be that lame.” 

“Buford!” Baljeet exclaimed, following him inside. “Ferb obviously has something bigger planned. Do not jump to conclusions.” 

“You’re right, Baljeet” Isabella said standing up, feeling slightly offended for Ferb’s sake. She supposed it was because he had just saved her. “Ferb’s shown me this plan of…” Her voice trailed off as she looked towards the quiet Flynn-Fletcher brother, her eyes asking whether he wanted to do the honors. In response, he gave her a simple smile, as if to say, ‘You go ahead’. “…of a flying truck we’re also going to model into a restaurant. We’ll be flying around the Tri-State area and touching down at flea markets and other places to sell stuff, and it’s basically a unique fusion of and a twist on a lot of the things Phineas and Ferb have previously done. What do you say?” 

“Sounds interesting” Baljeet commented. “I say go for it. What about you, Buford?” 

The bully shrugged. “Could be fun” he was willing to allow. “All right, let’s try it out and see what comes of it.” 

And try it out they did, over the entire following day. Isabella, Ferb, Buford and Baljeet worked together on assembling the flying truck and installing an Indian restaurant – that last part was Baljeet’s suggestion. Ordinarily there would not have been room for such suggestions, not because Phineas wasn’t thoughtful of his friends but because he had everything pre-planned, but now Ferb seemed to leave a lot more room for input from his friends. And it worked. They all had their investments in the scheme, they all had their roles (Isabella especially enjoyed getting to oversee what everyone did) and they got the truck flying and the restaurant running. They all committed something to the venture this time, and – not to take away from the hard work Phineas and Ferb usually did and the fun they always had when Phineas was there – this was a refreshing break from that routine. 

It was roughly halfway through the afternoon that Isabella finally got the opportunity to sit down and chat about Phineas with Ferb. The young inventor was steering the truck (on remote control, obviously) and it seemed to take up most of his time. Thus, when Isabella plopped down next to him, Ferb offered her a carton of apple juice but didn’t seem inclined to open up conversation. 

Well, that meant she just had to do it herself. And the best way she could do it was by being honest – it was good practice for the day she’d eventually have to tell Phineas how she felt anyway. “So, Ferb,” she said, sighing, “you know Phineas well, don’t you?” 

The look he gave her was a clear ‘you have to question that?’ look. Isabella blushed – if this was the awkward way she would open conversation when she would finally tell Phineas her feelings, there was zero chance of success. “I’m just saying, because… well, you know how I love him and he never seems to respond to anything I do, so I’m wondering whether he’s ever given you any indication that he likes me back.” 

Ferb blinked, apparently taken aback by the question. She could see sweat over his brow. “Look, if he’s asked you not to tell anyone, I understand…” 

Ferb shook his head and stopped the truck mid-flight. His eyes bore into hers. “Phineas likes you a lot, as a friend. However, he has as of yet given no more indication to me that he likes you romantically than he has to you.” 

Isabella blinked. All right, that was slightly disappointing, but it wasn’t like she didn’t deal with disappointment each day. “So, do you have any idea what I could do to change that? To activate his sense of romance and win him over? Because I’ve tried pretty much everything, and he’s just been so incredibly blind… I don’t know what I can think of anymore because no matter whether I compliment him or say I want to hold his hand or flat out ask him on a date, he doesn’t seem to get it!” 

It felt good to have it out, especially in front of someone the same age as she was – she told her mother stuff, but that wasn’t the same. And then she often rambled about it to her fellow Fireside Girls, but they just came up with enthusiastic suggestions for flirting with Phineas which never seemed to work. Ferb didn’t do that. Instead, he just put a hand on her shoulder and left it there for a few seconds. It was comfortable. Relaxing. Isabella leaned back into her chair and turned to him. “You don’t think there’s anything wrong with me, do you?” 

Ferb blinked, surprised. “What makes you say that?” 

Isabella shrugged. “I don’t know. I just thought that if I wasn’t the problem, he would’ve noticed me a lot sooner. I flirt with him so blatantly sometimes and it all flies over his head to the extent that I wonder how he’s even able to function in daily life if he’s that naïve.” She blushed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insult your brother, but that’s just the thoughts that I ramble about in Isabellaland sometimes.” 

Ferb frowned, so Isabella explained. “Remember two years ago, I had to take a vow of silence for twenty-four hours, and at the end of it I said I liked having a conversation with myself and you said ‘welcome to Ferbland’ or something like that?” As she said the words, she couldn’t help but realize that if Phineas had said something like that, she would have jumped on it as a sign that he was obviously into her. “I’ve been entering ‘Isabellaland’ in my brain ever since when I get the chance to just sit down and think, but unlike with you it doesn’t seem to do me any good. Sure, it helps me concentrate on winning patches occasionally, but it doesn’t help me with my long-term project: Phineas Flynn.” 

Ferb took her hand, which was a strange sensation at first but Isabella relaxed when he didn’t do anything beyond that. What… what had she been expecting him to do, then? Pull her closer to him? And for what purpose? She looked at Ferb, whose eyes now conveyed care and gentleness. “There’s nothing wrong with you” he replied. “Nor is there with my brother. Phineas is oblivious, yes, but the main reason he seems to be missing all your hints is because he simply hasn’t considered you in that way. And unless you explicitly tell him, I doubt that’s going to change until… until something big happens, affecting his romantic feelings, and that should be the chance for you to step in at the right moment.” 

That comment was very cryptic, and Isabella waited for her friend to say more but he didn’t, letting go of her and turning his attention back to the road below. She ran Ferb’s lines through her mind. Phineas wouldn’t change until something would happen that would make him change, in a romantic sense? Given what she knew of her crush, the chances of him changing in that sense were remote… but Ferb had seemed awfully confident that something might happen in the near future. Or maybe that was just the way he normally spoke. She really had to get to know him better. 

She turned back to Ferb. “So… are you saying I should just give up for the time being until something happens?” She shook her head. “I don’t think I can do that, really. I’m just going to go on the usual way and maybe lower my expectations a bit. Good to hear you don’t think my case is a hopeless one, though.” A thought then occurred to her. “Would you mind helping me again some times in the future? It feels good to be able to talk to someone who knows Phineas as well as you do, and I think you really could help me out… if you’re not too busy, of course.” 

Ferb looked at her and blinked. 

“…I’m going to take that as a yes.” Isabella smiled and stood up, patting her new confidant on his shoulder before rejoining the others. “Thanks, Ferb!” 

Buford and Baljeet were understandably a bit annoyed with her previous absence. “I’ve had to run all over this place just to get all the orders delivered within half an hour!” Buford complained. “I think I even lost weight! Since when do you talk to Ferb anyway?” 

Isabella rolled her eyes. “If you must know, I asked him for advice on my Phineas situation.” 

Buford groaned. “Ugh. Not interested.” He stomped off to the kitchen. 

“Did he say anything?” Baljeet wondered. “Ferb is usually quite closed off.” 

Isabella frowned. “I… I don’t know actually. He said some reassuring words and I think I’ve gotten him to agree to talk to me more often, but I don’t think I actually got some concrete advice out of him. He did say something about Phineas not being able to recognize my flirting now, but that he might in the near future after something would happen that could alter his sense of romance, and that I could have a chance if I stepped in at the right moment.” She frowned. “What do you suppose he meant by that?” 

Baljeet shrugged. “Trying to decipher Ferb’s thoughts is one of the most difficult things I have ever tried to do… in fact, I’d say his entire being is difficult to analyze and comprehend. He acts stoic and formal, but comes up with the most outlandish ideas – not today’s project in particular, but I know he has had some really strange thoughts. He is always quiet and yet makes random comments whenever he feels like it. He does not join in on conversation but I feel like he knows us better than we know ourselves. He looks composed and stiff, but he is an extraordinary dancer. Frankly, I consider him to be a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.” 

“Would that even fit?” Buford commented, walking back onto the scene. 

Baljeet rolled his eyes. “Buford, it is a figure of speech. A quote from Winston Churchill, in fact.” 

“Would you like me to quote from your underpants, nerd?” 

“Now that does not even make – hey!” 

Isabella sighed. As usual with Buford and Baljeet, they were off in their own world (or rather, their own conflicting worlds). She was on her own here. And since she was currently busy with the day’s project, trying to figure out Ferb’s comments would have to wait another while. 

The rest of the day proceeded smoothly, as all four of them had a lot of fun. Isabella didn’t get to talk to Ferb any more, though, which she didn’t mind. Just the small conversation had helped her get her spirit back. Her case wasn’t hopeless, and more importantly, she had found someone new who was able to relate to her and listen to her rambles. Someone who cared about her. 

The truck was disposed of rather easily, despite the lack of either a busting Candace or a random green ray from the sky – they’d run into a gang of homeless Indian ex-pilots and chefs who had been looking for a new occupation, so Ferb had sold the truck to them at about the price he’d bought the parts for. They had been just a few minutes’ walk from the Flynn-Fletcher backyard after all that, and thus the whole ordeal was wrapped up quickly. Buford and Baljeet had packed their stuff and headed home, and Isabella was about to follow them when she heard a cackle of electricity coming from upstairs. “Wait, is that Phineas and Candace?” 

Ferb blinked affirmatively and headed into the house, so Isabella awkwardly tagged along. She didn’t see Mr. Fletcher nor Mrs. Fletcher anywhere – they were probably in the basement or something – and thus simply walked up to Candace’s room with Ferb, where she noticed Candace sitting down on the bed, obviously exhausted, while Phineas still had a smile on his face. “Hi guys!”

“Hey, Phineas,” Isabella said, regretting that she couldn’t say her catchphrase now as it didn’t make much sense for the occasion. She had used it on some nonsensical occasions before, but now that she’d already used it on Ferb it just felt strange. She settled for “How was your trip?” instead. 

Phineas’ smile faded slightly, which was not a good sign. “Well… we did all get to eat Slushy Burgers and Candace got to hang out with Jeremy for a while, so in that sense she got what she wanted…” 

“It was horrible” Candace interrupted. “You can tell them that, Phineas. I just couldn’t calm down. I know Jeremy likes me, and I know he wouldn’t cheat on me, but even when I was there I couldn’t relax! It’s all so big and complex and distant and I don’t think I could do any of those studies, and yet in a year I’m going to have to be able to or I’ll have to go yet _another_ year without him! He was freaked out by me too, I could see it in his eyes. He was freaking out because I was too paranoid and just couldn’t chill out. Well, we did have a good time for a few minutes at the local Slushy Burger’s despite Mr. Nosy here tagging along everywhere. And when we got back to Jeremy’s dorm, I asked Phineas to prepare the portal in the other room so Jeremy and I could kiss for a while, only then I heard the noise of the vacuum cleaner through the portal and I yelled for Mom to come and see it but she never heard me. I don’t even know what the point of that was anyway, we’d still have had to get home and if the portal would have disappeared so Mom couldn’t see it…” She sighed. “So, yeah. Lousy day.” 

“Can’t you just keep in touch with Jeremy by phone?” Isabella wondered. 

“I would” Candace replied. “But he has it turned off half the time which he says is because he has to go to study and even though he tells me he isn’t seeing anybody else I just can’t know for sure. College is a minefield – a _minefield_ , Isabella! There are so many girls out there who are prettier than me and I’ve invested the past ten years of my life in Jeremy. I can’t let him out of my sight! Even if he just strikes up a friendship with a random girl it could make him fall out of love with me. I don’t want to overreact and I know I’m doing so anyway, but long-distance relationships are just so complicated…” She turned to her brother. “Are you sure we can’t keep the portal here? Being able to visit him whenever I wanted might make things easier…” 

Phineas shrugged. “It’s fine with me, but the portal requires a lot of energy, and the longer it stays here, the bigger the chance that Mom sees it too, and didn’t you say that everything always disappears before she can see it?” 

Candace solemnly nodded and dramatically lay back on the bed. “That’s true… curse you, Mysterious Force! How am I supposed to live my life with you always there to ruin it? This wasn’t how I’d planned everything! We were supposed to date through college, get married and have Xavier and Amanda… and now everything’s falling apart! Curse you, Mysterious Force! Curse everything!” She threw her head against the pillow. 

The younger teens took that as their clue to go, Phineas concernedly glancing back at his hysteric sister as they left the room. Isabella sighed. “So what was that all about?” 

“Well, her own analysis was mostly spot on” Phineas said. “She tried to calm down when talking to Jeremy and I did whatever I could, but she was too preoccupied to listen to me.” He sighed. “Frankly, I think she’s becoming a little unbalanced.” 

Isabella supposed that was Phineas-optimism for ‘she’s going nuts’. 

“Isn’t there anything we can do to help her?” she replied, her thoughts already drifting off to when she and Phineas would eventually have to date through high school. She didn’t want to risk the estrangement Candace and Jeremy were currently going through for them, not to mention that Phineas’ concerns about his sister were keeping his mind away from the great romantic realization Ferb had predicted. They had to come up with some kind of solution. “Perhaps we could build something to make the transition easier? Or instead, maybe you could come up with something to distract her from all those worries about Jeremy? Even if you’re just taking her to see a movie, that could help a lot.” 

Phineas actually smiled at this part, but one look at his brother made him look solemn again and… apologetic? As if he’d done something he wasn’t supposed to, just by agreeing with her suggestion? Isabella shrugged it off and looked at both brothers. “No? I don’t hear you having any better ideas…” 

“You’re right, Isabella” Phineas hastened to say. “It’s great that you’re thinking along. Really.” He flashed her a smile which briefly lit up her heart, but her mood turned back to normal when she noticed Ferb’s facial expression. Seriously, what was up with him, and why was he acting as if he knew something they – or at least she – didn’t? 

Phineas sighed. “I don’t actually have a better idea on how to help Candace. But we could just think about it for a while. Maybe something great will pop up into our minds. Hey, how about we go out somewhere Monday and we’ll try to think of some idea that could cheer Candace up?” 

Isabella beamed. “Really – I mean, sure, whatever, why not?” All right, she was trying to get him to see her feelings, so why was she covering up for her enthusiasm? She smiled flirtatiously. “Seriously, Phineas, that sounds great – just you and me, alone with nothing for company but our unlimited imaginations.” 

Phineas smiled back. “Yeah! And Ferb, of course.” 

Of course Ferb was going to come along. Seriously, why was she even surprised? Isabella put on a brave look at the thought that yet again, her attempts to get time alone with Phineas had been rejected. It somehow felt worse than usual, too. Normally Ferb’s presence alone had been what had stopped her from having romance with Phineas whenever the three of them went out, but after today, Isabella found that the prospect of Ferb in particular being there made it more uncomfortable. As if she didn’t want to flirt with Phineas in front of Ferb. 

It was nonsense, of course. Ferb had never given any indication that he didn’t want her to be with Phineas, and if, er, _when_ they got together one day Ferb would still be Phineas’ brother and probably come over all the time, so if being a couple with Phineas in front of Ferb would turn out to be awkward, she could kiss her chances of a stable relationship goodbye. 

Maybe she was just exaggerating. Just imagining things that made no sense. Why would Ferb’s presence suddenly nag at her more than it had always done? 

Isabella pondered the issue when she went home that night and stuck with it the entire evening, but the only explanation she could come up with was that due to having hung out with the Flynn-Fletcher brothers for so long, she was gradually becoming as crazy as Candace Flynn herself.


	7. "A guitar player, huh?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Vanessa, "The Lizard Whisperer". 
> 
> All right, please note that this chapter is from a different POV than the normal ones, and primarily serves to move the story along. I mean, people like Vanessa, Jeremy, Mr. and Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, Buford, Baljeet, Stacy, Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz (just to name a few) have their own tales to tell that sometimes intersect with this story, but we don't follow their lives beyond how they get involved in the matters around the real main pairings: Phineas and Candace, and Ferb and Isabella. We don't even get every single detail of Phindace and Ferbella (as you might have noticed, I do tend to skip unimportant segments in my chapters) because it would simply take too long to explain it all. I'm telling you what you need to know to understand how Phindace and Ferbella came to be in this ficverse. The rest is up for you to imagine or for me to eventually write a drabble about or something. Just to make all that clear. 
> 
> And now, I hope you'll enjoy the chapter anyway as you will find that not even the events at Povenmire University are without effect on what happens to our heroes back in Danville. Please read and review!

Having a regular college education while preparing for being an intern at an organization which employed secret agent animals was much harder than it had any right to be. 

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz was strolling through the cafeteria of Povenmire University, staring straight ahead and ignoring the looks people gave her. She missed having her friends around. People who understood her, and didn’t think she was crazy because she wore a Goth outfit. At least people here didn’t know her Dad was a crackpot scientist who used to fight a platypus and now fought _with_ that platypus to stop petty evil, but they treated her with disdain all the same. It wasn’t that she didn’t return the favor, but… she’d never admit it to anyone, but she missed Danville much more than she had ever imagined she would. At least she’d be able to return there when she could begin with her actual internship, but for now, she would have to tough it out. 

She was so preoccupied that she almost bumped into a guy. Not that that was hard to do, given the thickness of the crowd, but she still mumbled an instinctive apology and was about to move on towards the cafeteria when she realized she had seen this guy before. 

She turned around and took a split second to locate him. Blonde hair? Green shirt? Carrying a guitar around and a… was that a drain unclogger? Vanessa shrugged and moved on in the line for the food, all the time keeping an eye on him. When she had purchased her lunch and no one had moved to sit down at Blonde Guitar Dude’s table, she made her way over there and cleared her throat. 

Blonde Guitar Dude looked up and frowned. “…Hi?” 

“Jeremy, right?” He nodded. “I’m Vanessa Doofenshmirtz. Candace’s friend? You may have given my Dad guitar lessons once?” 

Jeremy thought hard, then nodded. “Yeah, I remember that. The guy who tried to summon aliens to take over the Tri-State Area. You don’t forget stuff like that easily.” 

Vanessa turned pink. “Yeah, Dad can be really… strange sometimes.” She hoped Jeremy wouldn’t dismiss him right away. She had been happy to get to talk to a vaguely familiar face, but if he started dissing her father… Heinz Doofenshmirtz might be a freak, but he was _her_ freak. 

To her surprise, Jeremy chuckled. “Hey, don’t get yourself worked up about it. I used to see crazier stuff with Candace’s brothers every day.” He paused awkwardly. “Would you mind sitting here for a moment? It’s nice to be able to talk about home for a while.” 

“Sure” Vanessa replied, sitting down opposite him. “Doesn’t Candace stay in touch with you then? From what I heard about you from her, I would’ve figured she’d call you at every opportunity she got.” 

Jeremy took her comment in stride. “Yeah, she can be a bit… clingy sometimes” he admitted. “But she’s sweet, and she loves me, so…” He shrugged. “How about you? Do you get calls from your friends or your boyfriend?” 

Vanessa shook her head. “I don’t have a boyfriend at the moment. I used to date a lot – a bad-boy-type named Johnny, then a nice guy named Monty Monogram – but we always broke up for one reason or another. I’ve been single for over a year now, and it’s really not that bad once you get used to it.” 

Jeremy frowned. “Monogram, Monogram… the name sounds familiar for some reason.” 

“Wait, I’ve got a picture” Vanessa said, reaching into her bag. “It should be in my wallet.” 

“You broke up with him, and you keep a picture of him in your wallet?” Jeremy wondered. 

“That’s my Dad’s fault” Vanessa said, sighing. “He hated Monty when we first met for… complicated reasons, so he tried to remove every picture of him from the house with his Image-Remove-Inator. Something went wrong, and Monty’s image got anatomically fused with a lot of objects in the house. Dad insisted on buying a new TV and a new microwave, and then he said we couldn’t afford a new wallet. He’s not that good with finances. Oh here it is.” 

She handed the wallet over to Jeremy, and watched with amusement as he tried to take out the picture but couldn’t. In the end he just stared at it. “I see it now” he said. “Does his Dad own some kind of agency that deploys secret agent animals?” 

Vanessa froze. Where did Jeremy, of all people, get that kind of information from? “Perhaps…” 

“I gave him guitar lessons too” Jeremy explained. “The guy wouldn’t shut up about it and I got paid by the hour, so I let him talk. The family resemblance is really remarkable.” 

Vanessa nodded. “Yeah, Monty and his Dad are pretty similar. In fact, that may be one of the reasons why I broke up with him. He was always obsessing about fighting evil and the rules of the game and I understood that, but he would just get so stupid about it and…ugh.” She sighed. “I just have the worst luck in boyfriends.” 

Jeremy smiled awkwardly. “Well, at least you’ll always have Ferb.” 

The gothic girl blinked. “Wait, what do you mean?” 

The boy opposite her blushed and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t realize he’d have never told you, though… in retrospect, it would make sense that he wouldn’t tell you about something like that.” 

Vanessa blinked. “Wait, Ferb has a crush on me? Candace’s brother?” Huh, that was… weird. Come to think of it, she should have really realized that sooner, considering how he had treated her on the few occasions they had met. _Especially_ that time he’d come driving past in a spaceship. For a kid his age, he had been remarkably charming about it, and she had been left thinking about him for quite some time. If he had been older, she wouldn’t have objected to going out with him – in fact, she might have made the first move. 

Jeremy continued smiling sheepishly. “Yeah. I overheard Phineas and Candace talking about it one day, and I assumed you knew, so…” He whistled. “I hope he won’t be mad at me when he finds out I told you. I don’t think I would like to see Ferb Fletcher angry. It probably wouldn’t be very healthy.” 

Vanessa chuckled. “I won’t tell him. Though honestly, Jeremy, I have to admit I never saw you as much of a fighter either, but that doesn’t mean you would get beaten up by a twelve-year-old.” 

“Actually, he’s thirteen by now” Jeremy corrected her. “And Ferb is hardly just any young teenager. You don’t know him the way I do. He’s got hidden depths.” 

“Ferb’s got hidden depths?” Vanessa repeated. “Hmm, I guess I could see that…” To be frank, most of Ferb’s personality had always seemed to be hidden to her, and she had no problem believing it was deep as well. As Jeremy wasn’t responding, she droned on. “I mean… not that there’s anything wrong with not being a fighter. I love my Dad, but he used to get beaten up by a platypus every day.” 

Now that raised Jeremy’s eyebrows. “A platypus? I thought they didn’t do much.” 

Vanessa laughed. “Yeah, that’s what most people think, if they even know platypuses exist at all. Would you believe it if I said he works for that same agency Monty’s Dad works for?” 

Jeremy shrugged. “It’s not like I haven’t seen stuff like that at the Flynn-Fletchers… they even have a platypus too. But that’s more of a stereotypical do-nothing-type. Actual crime-fighting platypuses… well, I’m not going to say your story is untrue, but that’s just _weird_.” 

“I know, right?” Vanessa said, pleased. This was exactly what she had been looking for. Someone who didn’t dismiss her stories as crazy, but shared her frustration at the sheer insanity of them and just wanted to get away from the weirdness for a while. “Going to my Dad’s place feels like stepping into a warzone sometimes… even now that he’s given up on evil. My youth was one big mixture of craziness and embarrassment. I knew he meant well, but I really couldn’t stand it sometimes.” 

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, hanging out at the Flynn-Fletchers can get exhausting as well. Don’t get me wrong, I love Candace and I really like her brothers, not to mention that a lot of the stuff they make is really cool, but it just gets so incredibly crazy at times – from both sides – that it leaves me wondering whether I’m the only sane one around. And Candace… she’s nice, but so neurotic. And I still think she feels she can’t fully be herself around me because I’ll reject her then.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t burden you with my problems.” 

Vanessa smiled sympathetically. “That’s okay. I just burdened you with a lot of mine as well.” She wracked her head for something to get the conversation off painful subjects. “They really have a platypus for a pet, though? That’s got to be rare.” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone else who owns one” Jeremy agreed. “It’s a really nice creature, though – calm, soft, cuddly… the only problem Phineas and Ferb seem to have with him is that he gets away for half the day, but he always comes back in the end. It’s become somewhat of a routine to them – if I had a nickel for every time I heard Phineas say “Hey, where’s Perry” or “Oh there you are, Perry”, I could buy a candy bar.” 

What. 

Seriously, just what. 

Vanessa tried to breathe in and out. It could be a coincidence. Not much chance that it was, but it could be. And even if it wasn’t, what difference did it make? This was her Dad’s old nemesis, not hers… but the thought that he had been living with Candace and Ferb (and Phineas) the whole time… “Did you just say they named him ‘Perry’?” 

Jeremy nodded, obviously confused at her surprise. “Yeah. Perry the platypus. Why, do you know anyone else named Perry?” 

Vanessa shook her head. “No… it’s nothing important. It just sounded like an odd name for a pet.” He was still giving her a confused look, forcing her to throw the conversation on another track again. “So, how’s college working out for you so far?” 

Jeremy shrugged. “Decently enough. I’m caught up well in all my subjects, but I get the feeling that I would be able to do better if I didn’t constantly have to reassure Candace that I’m fine and not seeing other girls. I can understand her reasoning, since she does have this exact idea of what she wants her future to be like and feels like if one pin goes down it’ll all go down, but even considering that she’s overreacting.” He sighed. “I’m hoping she matures a little soon. I want to be there for her, but college matters to me too and I really don’t want her getting in the way of that.” 

His new friend nodded, understanding. “Maybe I should go over sometime and tell her how you feel?” 

Jeremy blinked, surprised. “Well, if you think so… I don’t want to offend her and make her think I’m talking about her behind her back – although I guess that is what I’m already doing right now.” 

“What you don’t want is having to worry about Candace being paranoid all the time” Vanessa said firmly. “It doesn’t make you a bad boyfriend if you were to stand up for yourself once in a while.” Jeremy needed someone to help him out – and frankly, Vanessa was not about to pass up this opportunity to pay a visit to the Flynn-Fletcher residence. She had never been there before, and it would be a chance to see if that Perry the Platypus was more than he seemed to be. “I’ll go over during autumn break.” 

Jeremy shrugged. “Well, if you insist I’m not going to stop you.” He smiled at her. “To compensate you, maybe you could attend one of our band performances some time?” 

Vanessa smirked. “I’m not sure if that’s such a great idea. Our tastes in music aren’t exactly alike, remember?” It had been an instant turn-off for her when she’d met Jeremy Johnson for the first time, even if she had thought he was cute beforehand. “Not to mention I haven’t even helped you yet.” 

“That’s true” Jeremy agreed, checking his watch. “Tell you what. Meet me here again tomorrow and we’ll see if we can come up with something else, okay? Maybe I could get the band to play something you like as well, or we could remodel one of our songs into a heavier version.”

Vanessa blinked. “Wow… that’s really nice of you, Jeremy.” And truth be told, it could work for her – sure, Jeremy and Candace’s style was softer than her usual tastes, but she was trying to shed her bad girl image… not to mention getting into Ducky Momo after Candace had introduced her to it didn’t exactly fit with her usual tastes either. 

Jeremy smiled at her as the bell rang. “Hey, no problem.” He looked up. “I’ve got to go to class, but it was nice talking to someone from Danville. Same time tomorrow?” 

“Same time tomorrow” Vanessa confirmed, looking after him as he walked off. Huh. Maybe Jeremy Johnson wasn’t that bad after all. She was already comparing him to Monty and Johnny in her mind when she realized what she was doing. 

Trying to measure Jeremy as a boyfriend was, truth be told, nonsense. He was in a long-term relationship with one of her friends already, he wasn’t her type (even though she didn’t even know what her type was anymore by now so maybe that argument was moot) and most importantly: all her previous relationships had ended in disaster. Did she really want that to happen again?

No, for the time being, she could see Jeremy Johnson as just a friend. More than that remained inconceivable for now. And, like Jeremy himself had said, she’d always have Ferb. Chuckling at the strange idea, Vanessa got up and headed to class. 

oooooooo

The final days of college before autumn break started still passed painstakingly slow, but not as slow as Vanessa had expected they would, and it was mostly thanks to her new friend. Jeremy Johnson was an unexpectedly pleasant companion. He was nice, supportive and used to rants about weirdness. And while he himself admitted that the Flynn-Fletcher home got a little bit too extreme at times, Vanessa possessed at least an amount of distance from her father’s projects that Candace didn’t from her brothers’ so that they could talk about stuff that didn’t involve ‘busting’ or ‘inventions’ or ‘the impossible made possible’. 

But frankly, Vanessa knew very well she and Jeremy were different. He was an optimist, she was a pessimist, he was into soft music, she was into metal… even if she had been changing lately, almost without noticing it, to fit in with the OWCA, there was still a large gap between them. He was a friend to her despite all those things because of the few issues in her life that he could relate to and all these strangers, these non-Danvillians couldn’t. Above all, he was someone she could talk to. It made her feel less lonely. 

Jeremy’s presence didn’t distract Vanessa from trying to find out about Perry’s identity. The thought had lingered on her mind ever since the conversation and since then, she felt like she just had to know. It was just curiosity, she convinced herself of. Maybe blackmail material one day… although with her father as an agent she doubted she would need it. And she’d already promised Jeremy she would go over and talk. 

Remembering to follow her promise wasn’t all that hard, since her parents weren’t exactly motivating her to stay at home. Her mother was kind and caring, but also had a busy life and rightfully assumed Vanessa wasn’t interested in too many ‘mother-daughter activities’. Her father on the other hand overreacted as usual, randomly switching from hugging his little girl to being suspicious about all the potential boyfriends she might have met at college (when he asked her, Jeremy had been the first person on her mind – really, how sad was it that she’d spent so long dating one guy after another that she was finding it hard to think of any male friend as just that anymore?) to wanting to bond with her. Fortunately he had to work on occasion, and one of those days was the first Saturday of autumn break. 

Vanessa seized her chance to drive towards the Flynn-Fletcher residence. Candace had invited her over before but she’d never really gotten around to it, which meant she knew where they lived. She scanned the backyard and front yard for any signs of Perry before ringing the door. 

Candace’s mother greeted her and let her in, after which her friend quickly came downstairs. Candace was clearly happy to see her even if the brows on her forehead indicated she also had some other concerns at present. They sat down and chatted casually, without any sign of Perry in the vicinity. When Candace eventually noted her distracted appearance, Vanessa decided that she would have to get over this idea of finding out the truth behind the platypus and do what she’d promised Jeremy she would do. “So, Candace… I’ve been talking to Jeremy lately…” 

Candace smiled. “Oh, that’s right! He told me you had met up with him… several times.” Her smile abruptly changed into a frown. “So, how did that go?” 

“Pretty well, actually. I…” She looked up at her friend and resolved to face the matter head-on. “Candace, you need to relax about him. I can understand that you like him and you worry about losing him, but you need to go easy on him and trust that you won’t grow apart. He likes you too, you know, but he doesn’t want you freaking out over him.” 

Candace’s face froze into a set position. “Did he say that?” 

“Not exactly in those words, but I think that was what he meant” Vanessa said. “Candace, why don’t you just relax. That’s all he’s asking from you.” 

The seventeen-year-old sighed. “I would, but I can’t” she mumbled. “I know I should calm down and not let this get to my head, because you said it, Jeremy said it, Mom and Dad said it, heck, even _Phineas_ said it… but this is me, Vanessa. My life these days consists of trying to bust Phineas and Ferb and trying to stabilize my relationship with Jeremy. I don’t know if that’s sad or wrong, but…” She sighed. “Forget it. I’ll get us something to drink and maybe we could watch an episode of Ducky Momo together afterwards.” 

Vanessa blinked and watched her friend’s retreating form. She wanted to tell Candace to get a hold of herself, but she also knew she was already saying too much by intervening in Jeremy and Candace’s relationship. At least the message was received. It was all she could do. She looked around the room… 

…and briefly saw something teal scurrying by. 

It was only for a moment, but Vanessa knew what she had seen. She jumped to her feet and followed the creature into the hallway. The door was slightly ajar and the platypus – because that was what it was, as she could clearly see now – took advantage of the opportunity to slip outside. Vanessa was about to follow him when something from her left knocked her over. 

She stumbled to the ground, and only managed to reorient herself after a few seconds. That had been… sudden. She felt she was covered in old clothes – apparently, the person who had knocked her over had been carrying a laundry basket, explaining why he hadn’t seen her at first – and blinked before pulling the shirt off her face. “Ugh! What…” 

A person reached out to her and took her hand to help her get back up. His voice was instantly familiar. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to – Vanessa?” 

Vanessa looked up at him. “Ferb?” 

The boy stared at her, and it dawned on Vanessa that she had some explaining to do.


	8. “Candace, we don’t do this to compete, we do it for fun!” “And for the ladies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Phineas and Ferb, "Thaddeus and Thor". 
> 
> Another chapter from Ferb's POV, because it fit this part of the story and frankly I like writing from Ferb's POV. He's serious and perceptive and knows everyone around him well, while he himself carries the air of mystery around him. When I'm writing a scene from Ferb's perspective I can straight-up show it like it is instead of showing it through Phineas' or Isabella's or Candace's oblivious lense. Not saying Ferb is never biased or always has the facts straight, but he still works very well as a narrative character. 
> 
> Next chapter will also be Ferb's POV because it was originally one long chapter that I split in two due to length. Just warning you in advance. Finally, please read and review.

Of all persons he could have bumped into in that hallway, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz was probably the last Ferb would have expected. And that was the last of a very long list, probably featuring a bunch of aliens and distant relatives from across the ocean before coming to her name. 

His mind locked up at seeing her, and without thinking he assumed his usual stoic position where people would think he was emotionless but in reality emotions were swirling through his mind. Why was she here? What did she want? Did he stand a chance with her now? He wasn’t much shorter than she was anymore… unwillingly, his thoughts slipped to the conversation he’d had with Isabella a few weeks ago, and he mentally blushed. _Now is not the time to be a ladies’ man, Fletcher!_

Vanessa regained her composure first – naturally, as as far as he knew she’d never considered him in that way. “Whoa, Ferb” she muttered. “Long time no see, right?” She smiled at him. “I came over to visit your sister, and I…” Her face distorted and she looked around as if she was searching for something, but eventually she seemed to give it up. “I should probably get back to her. Wouldn’t want her to freak out over my disappearance.” 

Ferb blinked, wishing he could join them. This was his crush, the girl he’d thought was the most beautiful woman in the world when he was eleven. He still thought she was beautiful, although when comparing the person he saw in front of him to the one he had idolized for so long he had to admit he’d exaggerated her features somewhat. She was pretty, yes, but not all that much prettier than the girls he knew. Even so, she was his first love, and at that moment he wanted nothing more than to spend time with her. 

But from the looks of it, that wasn’t going to happen. Vanessa appeared concerned over Candace and slightly preoccupied with something as she turned back to the living room. And he himself just had too much to do – today, of all days, just happened to have to be chores day. He sighed as he collected the clothes back into the basket. 

Before he could lament too much about not getting to talk to Vanessa, though, the girl turned back towards him, a curious look on her face. “Say, Ferb,” she said thoughtfully, “Jeremy told me back at college that you and Phineas own a pet platypus named Perry. Is that true?” 

All right, now that was a question he hadn’t expected. He blinked affirmatively. 

Vanessa smiled. “That’s interesting. I love exotic pets. Do you have anything more to tell about him? Could you get him for me to see him, perhaps?” 

Ferb blinked again and smiled apologetically. “I would love to have a prolonged conversation with you, but I’m afraid I am very busy right now” he replied. “Perhaps some other time?” 

Vanessa pondered that, then nodded. “I could come over again next Saturday afternoon. Is that okay with you?” 

The thirteen-year-old nodded and watched as his crush went back into the living room, monitoring every detail of her walk carefully. This was… odd. Vanessa had just invited him to hang out with her – wasn’t that supposed to generate psychedelic colors and all sorts of flowers swirling around him? Right now, he could only see one flower in the whole hallway, and he was fairly confident that one had been put there last week by his mother. Vanessa’s invite felt nice, but not quite the amount of nice it was supposed to be. Sighing, he continued collecting clothes, delivered them to their destination, and trudged back up the stairs. 

As he had told Vanessa he was busy for the rest of that day, which was a convenient distraction from both the Vanessa query and the Phineas-and-Candace one. Phineas barely even spoke about Candace, this despite the fact that their sister was taking full advantage of the holidays to hang out with Jeremy again and only toned it down a slight bit every now and then to chat with Stacy or play some music. The result of that was the occasional solemnity on Phineas’ face, especially at night, an emotional reaction Ferb was unfamiliar with and he wished for nothing more than it to be removed. But no matter what happened, the situation remained the same. Ferb didn’t know what to do or how to help his brother, so apart from a few pats on the shoulder he remained quiet while Phineas wallowed in his own problems. 

And those problems just kept mounting. 

For days Ferb had hoped there would be a silver lining to Isabella’s New Mexican vacation proposal that Phineas had accepted on both of their behalf, namely that spending a week out there with none of the usual distractions from daily life would get Phineas’ mind off the Candace subject. As Phineas became more and more distressed, he himself obviously gained that wish as well, torn between his love and concern for his sister and the dangers Ferb had warned him about and yearning for the way out the holiday would provide him with. It should be perfect. A week away from Danville, away from Candace and Jeremy, with no one there but them and Isabella – perhaps Phineas might finally realize there that he could never be with Candace, he’d find solace in Isabella’s arms, and Isabella would finally get the relationship she wanted. Subsequently, Ferb would be left with no more distractions as he continued his pursuit of Vanessa. It’d all fit in perfectly. 

But because fate apparently hated him – these were the moments when Ferb wondered whether Candace’s Mysterious Force theory was really as crazy as it seemed to be – none of that would happen. Isabella called Saturday evening to tell them the trip had to be called off at the last moment because her aunt broke her leg and had told her she couldn’t possibly host three young visitors, not even visitors whom Isabella had insisted would be perfectly capable of doing the usual ranch work for her and more. Of course Phineas had answered the phone, but just listening in to one side of the conversation had given Ferb all he needed to hear, as had the brief look the brothers had exchanged immediately after the call. They would be here throughout the autumn holiday period, together with Candace. 

Ferb wondered how long Phineas would be able to stand that, but he doubted it’d be very long. 

The first time they really spoke about the affair again after Isabella’s call was on Monday evening. Candace had been out spending time over at Jeremy’s house all day, and she didn’t return home for dinner. Their parents’ annoyance with Candace’s absence steadily grew over time, up to the point that Linda immediately confronted her daughter when she returned. “Wait a minute, young lady. Where have you been?” 

Candace stared at her, her eyes bloodshot and her face just plain tired. “At Jeremy’s. He asked me to babysit Suzy, which meant any chance of relaxing was out.” She sat down on the couch and groaned loudly. 

As Linda and Lawrence muttered to themselves about Candace’s strange, disconcerting dislike of Jeremy’s younger sister, Phineas walked over to her and asked the obvious question Ferb, who walked after him and closed the door so their parents wouldn’t listen in, had expected him to ask. “If you don’t like Suzy, why did you agree to hang out with her?” 

Candace gave him a look as if he was an idiot. “Because Jeremy asked it from me, dummy.” 

Phineas blinked, unaffected by her insult. “So why didn’t you just say no?” 

The ‘you’re-an-idiot’-look strengthened. “Because it’s Jeremy! I can’t just say ‘no’ to him – just imagine what he’d say if I wouldn’t want to do this little thing for him! If he felt he couldn’t rely on me for anything, he might not want me to be his girlfriend any longer! Sure, Suzy is an unholy terror, but Jeremy doesn’t know that, and if toughing it out with her is the only way to remain in Jeremy’s good graces I will do it! Sometimes, you have to sacrifice things for the ones you love… but I don’t expect you to understand that, since you two don’t have girlfriends!” 

Phineas’ face fell at that, and the look on his face made Ferb pull his brother close and put an arm around his shoulder protectively. He turned back to their sister. “You sacrifice things for your significant other, yes” he replied calmly. “But you do not put up a front for them and cater to their every whim. That is not what constitutes a healthy relationship, Candace.” 

Candace glared at her stepbrother. “What do you mean, ‘not a healthy relationship’? Of course Jeremy and I have a healthy relationship! What would you guys even know about that, you’re just kids!” She angrily stomped off towards her room. 

“Teens” Phineas corrected her. 

“Teens! Whatever!” 

Their sister slamming the door of her bedroom shut ricocheted throughout the house as Phineas sat down on the couch. “Don’t get mad at her, Ferb” he said. “Candace… she’s just upset. She didn’t mean it that way.” 

Phineas was right, of course – Ferb had seen far too many of their sister’s sweet moments to know she mostly rambled nonsense when she was angry and couldn’t be taken at face value then. But that didn’t mean eternally optimistic Phineas should be justifying her behavior, or that she was in any way right. He looked into his brother’s eyes and gestured both to Candace’s room and out the window in the direction of Jeremy’s house. 

Phineas blinked, surprised. “I’d never do that if we were dating. If I even so much as suspected Candace didn’t want to do something, even if I didn’t understand the reasons why, I wouldn’t ask it from her until I had figured out just why she didn’t like doing that and help her through it. Not that I can blame Jeremy, though, because I don’t believe she ever told him how she felt about Suzy.” 

Ferb nodded, understanding. Again, Phineas was right – although Candace had hinted at her dislike for Jeremy’s little sister several times, she’d never flat-out dared to say it, and of course to oblivious people like Phineas and Jeremy hints didn’t count. Then again, the primary reason Candace hadn’t straight-up told Jeremy about her dislike for Suzy was because she was so obsessed with keeping his favor, and since that obsession might not be there in the same way in a different relationship… Ferb gestured to Candace’s room and towards Phineas. 

“You mean, if I’d ever do something like that for her if she asked me to?” Ferb nodded. “I don’t know… but I don’t think so. Sure, she’s Candace, and I love her and I would want to do anything for her, but if it was something I so obviously disliked as Candace dislikes babysitting Suzy, I would go up and tell her. Even if it could jeopardize our relationship. I don’t want to make Candace unhappy, but what I would want even less is to keep anything from her that upset me. If she and I ever got together, I’d want to be able to tell her everything that was on my mind. I don’t know if she’d listen, but…” He chuckled, then sighed. “But what’s the point? You don’t think we’re ever going to get together, do you?” 

A day ago, the honest answer to that question would have been ‘no’. Right now… it was probably still ‘no’. But something in that last conversation had gotten Ferb to start thinking. If he was honest with himself, the way Phineas had said he’d treat Candace – and Ferb had no doubt his brother would be true to his word, as he always was – sounded a lot more like a healthy relationship than what Candace and Jeremy were currently going through. He didn’t know where the word ‘front’ had come from – he’d mentioned it in the heat of the moment – but now that he thought about it, it made a lot of sense. Candace did put up a front for Jeremy, trying to smooth over her flaws in a way that was very relatable but also not very honest. She could keep it up now, but what if they would eventually get together and be with each other 24/7? Then either Candace would have to keep part of herself hidden forever, try as hard as she could to change it, be more open about it and suffer the consequences, or awkwardly zigzag between those scenarios… and there was no way _that_ would go well. 

From the moment Ferb had discovered Phineas’ crush, he had been mildly sympathetic to his brother’s aims but only with the firm thought in his mind that nothing would ever come of it. He had assumed that Phineas openly crushing on Candace could only mess up a long-established and happy relationship. 

But was that assumption really true? 

They quietly finished dinner and headed to their room, where Phineas immediately confronted his brother again. “I can’t take it anymore. Candace is beating herself up over Jeremy and that’s not going to go well forever. I’ve got to be there for her.” 

Ferb blinked. As much as it surprised him, there was nothing there which he would disagree with. 

“I mean, I know you don’t want me to interfere because it might mess up the relationship Jeremy and Candace have, and I get that” Phineas continued. “I don’t want to break Candace’s heart, but…” He sighed and sat down. “Every time I look at her, satisfying Jeremy’s whims as you said but freaking out over him at the same time, the way he’s uncomfortable with the way things are going and she’s uncomfortable but they’re just not saying it to each other and I don’t get why they’re not being open to each other because their relationship is going down the drain and…” He looked up at Ferb. 

“…is it really that wrong to think that I could do better?” 

Ferb looked at his brother, wanting to say yes, that this wasn’t going anywhere, that this was silly… but he couldn’t. “What would you do, then?” 

Phineas blinked. “Right now?” Ferb nodded. “Well, just taking her somewhere to distract her from Jeremy would be good. Maybe a movie or something? You know, the Ducky Momo movie is airing in the theaters right now. It may be sold out, but they do keep some seats open and we have those unlimited free tickets from that favor we did for the theater last year…” 

Ferb blinked. Phineas was right, that would probably be a good break from routine for Candace. Sure, a movie theater was the kind of place where things could go wrong very easily, but if he reminded Phineas just what kind of behavior was okay and what wasn’t, and as long as Candace remained oblivious to her brother’s affections… everything should be fine. He nodded. 

Phineas stared at him. “You mean it?” 

“As long as you’re careful” Ferb replied. “Don’t initiate physical contact you wouldn’t have ordinarily. Don’t act like you’re on a date. And most importantly, find an innocuous way to bring the matter up so she won’t turn you down.” 

Phineas blinked. “Like what?” 

Ferb sighed. Why did his brother have to be so hopeless at this? “Like saying you got the tickets by accident, I didn’t want to go with you, and you don’t want to waste them but you wouldn’t know who’d go there with you.” 

Phineas awkwardly glanced between his brother and the hallway, in the direction of Candace’s room. “But isn’t that lying?” 

Ferb shrugged, his facial expression saying ‘it’s that or bust’. 

“…I guess I could just withhold some information” Phineas eventually said, after long and clearly painful deliberation. “I mean, we did get those tickets without intending to use them, and you probably wouldn’t go to a Ducky Momo movie, so that’s true… and I would hate for something like that to go to waste. I wouldn’t be lying to her about it, I’d just be omitting some details. That’s okay, right? I mean, it’s just for the sake of not upsetting her. Maybe I should write this down…” He took his sketchbook and rapidly scribbled down some notes before tearing the page out. “Okay, this… this should work. Maybe.” He uncertainly looked at his brother. “Do you really think I should do this? That I can do this?” 

Ferb nodded at their sister’s room with his head. 

“Right. For Candace.” Phineas smiled awkwardly. “Okay then, here I go.” 

Ferb stared after his brother as he walked off, then forced himself to head back to his own bed and take something to read along. As much as he knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the material, he still wanted to keep up the farce that he really wasn’t involving himself way too much into his siblings’ lives and getting in over his head. 

Phineas returned five minutes later, an awkward grin on his face telling it all. Ferb motioned for him to sit down, then gave him a questioning look. 

“It went almost exactly the way we predicted” Phineas said, unable to keep the grin off his face for longer than a few seconds. “Candace was still moping over Jeremy… poor girl… when I came in. She apologized for saying what she said earlier and asked if she could do anything to make it up to me. I told her about the movie tickets and that I didn’t know who’d go along with me, and she just smiled at that part…” The look on his face changed into a dreamy one for a moment before he snapped out of it. “Only then she wanted to call Vanessa to take her along, so I pointed out that the tickets were mine. She stopped at that and said that was true, and that Vanessa was probably too busy anyway because she was working part-time at some secret project?” He shrugged. “I’m not sure what she meant by that, but I think she didn’t know either so that’s cool. Then she pointed out that I wasn’t a Ducky Momo fan and wouldn’t have anyone to take along, so I said that maybe we could go together, and you know what she said?” His voice rose in anticipation. “‘Sure, _why not_!’ She said ‘why not’, Ferb! She agreed! We’re going to the theater tomorrow!” 

Ferb smiled as his brother fell down on his bed and just kept grinning. He didn’t know if this was going anywhere – it probably wasn’t – but for the moment, he just felt happy because Phineas was happy. And maybe it would get Candace away from this whole mess with Jeremy, their relationship would normalize, and everything would be fine again. 

Or so one could hope, anyway.


	9. “We few, we happy few, we small band of brothers… and girl from across the street.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Ferb, "The Lizard Whisperer". 
> 
> Okay, here is another display of my attempts to regulate the length of these chapters and fail miserably - this chapter is 3800 words, the next is 2200, and they started as part of one 4000-word chapter. Or actually the next chapter was supposed to be part of the chapter after that, but since combining it with that chapter would result in an even longer outcome than this one... ah well. Maybe I'll reorganize it all some time after the entire story is over. 
> 
> Plot-wise, this chapter does move the plot along significantly, but only in regards to Ferb. What happens to the rest of the family remains yet to be seen, but this chapter does begin the fateful day of Saturday October 13th 2012, which is going to be the scene of some quite important things, to say the least. Please read and review!

Contrary to Ferb’s fears throughout that day, Phineas and Candace’s non-date on Tuesday night went off without a hitch. In fact, Ferb figured, it went entirely too well. Before the evening, Candace had been her usual self: cranky, rambling, texting with Jeremy every chance she could get, and only really relaxing whenever she spoke about getting to see the movie. By the time the evening ended, she was relaxed, smiling, confident, teasing Phineas for enjoying parts of the movie, and clearly at ease with herself. But perhaps the most surprising thing, both to him and to their parents, was that Phineas cheerfully told them that she’d offered to return the favor by taking him to see Space Adventure IV on Thursday. 

It wasn’t until that night that he got the full story from his brother, which made the situation clearer – but only slightly. Apparently, Candace had still been much like she was when they left for the first part of the evening, but the familiarity of Ducky Momo and the fact that she didn’t have to do anything to keep the favor of the person she was with had relaxed her. It hadn’t happened instantly, but gradually she’d really come to enjoy the evening, pointing out everything to her brother in a way she might not have done had Jeremy been present because she didn’t want him to see her act so obsessive and so enthusiastic over a little kids’ show. Not to mention that Phineas had really tried to listen to what Candace had to say. The only real problem had been when Phineas had stayed away a little too long during the break, leaving Candace gripping the cushions of the seats with anticipation and suspicion about whether he’d be back before the movie restarted, only for him to return in the nick of time with a modified popcorn-and-drinks-maker which would provide an endless stream of any edible or drinkable materials they could wish for during the show (and cushions, of course. Just in case the seats got sore.) Candace’s busting sense had been deactivated as quickly as it had been activated and she’d enjoyed herself throughout, until she’d accidentally overloaded the machine and spilled a good deal of soda all over her brother. She had been genuinely sorry and had done her work to clean up the mess, so Phineas had forgiven her instantly, leading to Candace offering to take him to the Space Adventure showing that was being advertised at the theater to make up for it. 

All in all, Ferb concluded after putting the puzzle pieces together, the night had been a resounding success for both of them – though his primary reason for that conclusion wasn’t just the story Phineas had told but the fact that he didn’t shut up about it afterwards. It was a stark contrast to the next day, Wednesday, when Candace spent all day over at Jeremy’s which had not only left Phineas missing her (only slightly, though – he was able to function perfectly well throughout the day) but also left Candace neurotic and paranoid. She tried to mix busting them and visiting Jeremy on Thursday, which as expected turned into disaster. It should have spelled disaster for the Space Adventure arrangement that night and Ferb was half expecting her to call it off, but Candace kept word and by the end of the evening, she was relatively calm again. There was no agreement about a further movie night this time, not even at home, because Candace insisted on being with her boyfriend over the weekend. But from the calm state of both her and Phineas, Ferb didn’t think they’d really need another movie to stay happy. 

It was a very, very strange situation. 

Throughout the week, Phineas kept building his projects and inviting his friends over, which provided them with a wholly different dynamic. Isabella came over to Ferb’s side more and more often to lament – from what he could decipher, the Fireside Girls were still the same ‘Phinabella’ shippers they once were but even they had other things to do than to listen to Isabella’s frustrated rants all the time – which had been okay back when Phineas was still an oblivious kid who knew nothing of romance. Now, however, Ferb knew at least part of the reason for his brother’s obliviousness was his crush on Candace, and it left him in a conundrum. 

He didn’t want to keep lying to Isabella. The way she kept talking about Phineas and even had tears in her eyes at his constant ignorance made him want to tell the whole story, but he knew he couldn’t do it. Even as she sat by his side and lamented on what could make Phineas – who was thirteen by now, after all – so naïve, he couldn’t tell her. The truth would hurt her more than ignorance ever could. 

So he kept avoiding the subjects and telling half-truths, for it was the only thing he trusted himself to do. He was supportive whenever she told him a new plan that might win her Phineas’ affections (not that they were ever big plans anyway; just a new look or a new pick-up line or even an offer to eat ice cream together) but he suspected that part of the reason for his support was because he knew she would fail anyway. He told her that part of why Phineas was missing her hints was that he was worried over Candace, which was true, although Isabella of course wouldn’t begin to guess what lay behind that. And he never actively helped her out, as much as he occasionally wanted to take her into his arms and tell her that she was a great girl and she really deserved someone who wanted to date her and that he was truly sorry his brother wouldn’t be that person, and then he would take her on a date himself… just to make her feel better, of course. 

Right. _Just_ to make her feel better. Ferb didn’t know how his brain expected him to believe those things sometimes. 

And amidst those confused feelings, that first fateful Saturday finally rolled around: Saturday, October 13th 2012. It was the day of his appointment with Vanessa, and it was also the last day before Jeremy would be leaving for college… which meant Candace had, of course, invited him on a final date for the evening. Their sister had been up from early in the morning, planning for everything to be perfect, while Phineas had been up fairly early as well. His plan of the day was unique for three reasons – one, it had been rescheduled to the evening, ostensibly because of Ferb’s appointment with Vanessa; two, out of all their friends, only Isabella was there to help them; and three, Ferb had no idea what the idea really was as Phineas didn’t tell him. 

It was a rare moment when Phineas Flynn would keep something from his brother, but throughout the morning as they prepared Ferb got nothing on the matter out of him, which was first unnoticeable but then weird and finally disconcerting. Rather than directly confronting his brother Ferb tried to discern what Phineas was up to from the blueprints, but they were so all over the place that he couldn’t quite figure it out. They looked like some kind of building… maybe some kind of business again? Or a tall tower?

Maybe the reason he was feeling so preoccupied was because of Vanessa. As the afternoon drew nearer, Ferb got more and more anxious for their meeting. What would he say? Was he still attracted to her? Maybe. Did he like her? Yes. Could they be together? Probably not. Was he committed to her as the only option?

The feeling he got when Isabella looked at him after she had saved him from his absent-mindedness that morning said ‘no’. 

It was a fairly innocent incident, a physical slip-up much like how Isabella slipping up a few weeks ago had enflamed feelings in Ferb. Now, the distracted British boy had accidentally dropped some tools on the ramp they were using to construct the early stages of their project (which was inside S.H.E.D., for some reason Ferb also couldn’t decipher – well, Phineas said it was supposed to be a surprise, but Ferb couldn’t quite figure for whom) and had been on the verge of tripping over them on his way back up onto the ramp, carrying a toolbox with him and not noticing the threat. Isabella noticed, though, and as he tripped she rushed over and caught him just in time. 

They stood there a few moments, Ferb leaning into her arms and still regaining his composure. “What happened?” he finally asked. 

“You tripped” Isabella replied, helping him upright. She turned towards her crush’ brother and gave him a concerned look. “Are you okay, Ferb? You’re being much less focused than you normally are.” Ferb remained quiet. “Is this about Vanessa?” Ferb sighed, and nodded. 

Isabella glanced over at their teammate, who was happily hammering away at some other part of the invention and not paying any attention to her. Her face turned sour for a moment before she turned back to Ferb. “Want to talk about it?” 

Ferb blinked, unsure what to answer. On the one hand, he was not much of a talker, and he did have several things weighing on his mind that he didn’t want Isabella to know about – Phineas and Candace’s thing, for one, or even just his own feelings towards her. But he _could_ use someone to figure out how he felt about Vanessa, and honestly, comfort would be nice. And Isabella had never really offered him this before, so if he wanted to build up a better relationship with her… despite himself, he nodded. 

Isabella smiled and walked over to Phineas. “Do you need any more help from us with that? Because I think I need to talk to Ferb for a while. He seems a bit down.”

Phineas blinked. “Ferb, depressed? Are you sure? I hadn’t noticed that.” No, he hadn’t, and Ferb would have never expected him to. “Yeah, I can do the rest of this by myself, no problem… you won’t need my help with Ferb, then?” 

Isabella smiled. “That’s okay, Phineas. I can handle it.” She walked out of the shed and motioned for Ferb to follow. Reluctantly, he walked after her and past his brother, meeting the latter’s look of surprise with an empty stare. 

They sat down under the tree, the bright sunlight making Ferb realize the fact that it was already the warmest point of the day (and thus past noon). Isabella stared at him questioningly and cleared her throat. “Let me try to figure this out by myself, since you’re always so secretive. You’re nervous about meeting up with Vanessa again because you haven’t seen her in two years, and you’ve changed and she’s changed in the meantime and you don’t know if that will affect the crush you have on her, or even whether you still feel something at all for her after all this time. Is that roughly right?” 

Ferb gave her a surprised look, which, judging from the chuckle she gave in response, told her all she needed to know. “Girls are perceptive, Ferb. And I do have my Figuring Out Other People’s Emotional Troubles-Patch.” 

The greenhead mentally smirked, for Isabella hadn’t really shown such perceptiveness lately when it came to the fact that Phineas wasn’t attracted to her. Then again, that was a rather specific case, and something where Isabella’s subconscious had an active interest in hiding the truth from her. It was entirely possible for her to miss that and be perceptive in other areas. Phineas himself was after all unbelievably oblivious but still incredibly smart. 

As he was still mulling that over, Isabella continued. “I can understand you’re nervous, Ferb. I have to go through this every day as I prepare for meeting up with Phineas.” No she didn’t, she didn’t _have_ to flirt with him after all. Then again, it wasn’t like his own situation was so different… “And no matter what I did I failed, so I’m probably not the best person to give you dating advice. But I can tell you this. You have to figure out what you want, deep down in your heart, and what you think is possible, and act on that. If she does like you back, you can pull it off.” She gave him a curious look. “But how do you envision it? If you had to take Vanessa on a date, for instance, what would you do?” 

Ferb didn’t have to think very long. “Show up early dressed in a tux to take her out in a car. Give her roses representing every year I want to spend with her. Take her to a fancy restaurant, pay the bill, and perhaps have the staff arrange some kind of surprise. Take her to a ballroom afterwards and dance with her for as long as she’d want to, before leaving her with a parting gift after dropping her off at home.” 

Isabella’s eyes widened. “Ferb, that sounds so sweet! I wish Phineas would do something like that for me… but I doubt he’d ever even conceive of it. One can always hope, but…” She patted his shoulder. “You’re going to be a great boyfriend. If you ever get together with Vanessa, she’ll be really lucky.” 

Ferb fought the urge to blush. Seriously? Did he really have to listen to Isabella saying all those nice things about him as he was preparing himself for his appointment with Vanessa? It was so simple. Isabella was Phineas’, or at least Phineas was so prominently featured in her heart that there could be no room for him. He had no real interest in other girls at the moment – over the past weeks, his thoughts had been solely focused on these two. And Vanessa was, as far as he knew, single, and she was his old flame. She was obviously the best pick, the facts were clear. So why weren’t his emotions clearer?

He noticed movement next to him and saw Isabella had shuffled a little closer towards him. He tensed up before noticing she was merely resting her head at a relatively kinder spot on the tree. That was understandable. Still, they were very close now. If anyone saw them like this… 

“Hey, Ferb? I’m here!” 

Of _course_ Vanessa would have to walk into the backyard at that exact moment, where he wasn’t only sitting very exposed but also totally unprepared for her visit. She noticed him and gave him and the girl next to him a weird look. “Oh, hi. Where are Phineas and Candace?” 

“Phineas is in the shed and I don’t know where Candace is, but she should be upstairs” Isabella replied.

Vanessa nodded. “I see. So, Ferb, are we going to talk inside or outside?” 

Ferb pondered that for a moment. He did have this urge to stay outside… he looked at Isabella, and his heart skipped a beat. Of course, that was the problem. He didn’t want to stay outside because he liked the weather, but because even with Vanessa showing up, he didn’t want to leave Isabella’s side. 

Ferb wasn’t oblivious. He knew perfectly well thinking about one girl when on the verge of meeting another spelled doom for any kind of romantic involvement. Did this mean his mind had practically given up on Vanessa already? He didn’t know, but… Summoning all the stubbornness he could muster, he got up and pointed towards the house. Vanessa nodded, and walked ahead. 

Ferb was about to follow her when he noticed Isabella looking at him, a concerned expression on her face. He smiled faintly and gently pressed her hands. “Don’t worry. It’ll be all right.” 

He had no idea why she gave him such a shocked look immediately thereafter and kept staring all the way as he walked back inside the house. 

Ferb quickly collected Perry and brought him to Vanessa in the living room before going off to make coffee. Their parents were at work again, as they seemed to be more often even on Saturdays in recent weeks. Apparently, they were trying to teach their kids responsibility. Ferb doubted it was necessary or effective, but he appreciated the efforts. It meant Vanessa was all alone for a while as he prepared something to eat and to drink, but it didn’t seem to bother her – although at one point, he thought he heard her talking to his platypus. Now that was strange. 

Then again, in Danville nothing was really too outlandish. Maybe he’d have to keep an eye on Perry’s behavior in the future. 

Anyway, he got everything in order at last and lunged off into a fairly innocent conversation about the nature of the platypus with her. Vanessa seemed to have a surprising amount of knowledge of the animal for someone who didn’t have a pet, but neither of their minds was really in the conversation. Ferb was thinking about the confused romantic feelings he had been experiencing lately and about what every twitch of Vanessa’s face made him feel, and he still had enough presence of mind to register that Vanessa wasn’t all there either. 

After about an hour or two of mindless banter had left them falling silent for a moment, Vanessa finally turned towards him with a sigh. “Look, Ferb… I didn’t just come here to talk about your platypus. That was my original intention, but I’ve been thinking… about something Jeremy happened to mention to me in passing last week, back at Povenmire University… Ferb, do you have a crush on me?” 

Ferb blinked, stunned. She… she knew? Jeremy had _told_ her? Suddenly, he felt a lot more indifferent to whatever would happen tonight between him and Candace. He just stared at Vanessa, not just because he was unaccustomed to replying but also because he was unable to think of anything to say. 

Vanessa smiled. “Look, it’s fine. I understand. And had circumstances been different, I think I might have even return those feelings. You’re a handsome guy, you’re brilliant, and you’re really sweet.” Ferb’s cheeks reddened. “But you are thirteen. And although I’ll admit we could bridge that gap if we really wanted to, I’ve been having a lot of boyfriends over the past years and I feel like I could use a break right now. College is tough, and I’m working on an internship on top of that, so… yeah, difficult times.” Ferb gave her a sympathetic look, but remained generally downcast. Could it really end like this?

His crush noticed his facial expression, so she sat down next to him and patted his shoulder. “It’s not you. If in three years or so you’re still interested in me, feel free to give me a call or something. I can’t promise you I’ll still be single too, of course. And in the meantime, we can be friends.” Ferb smiled wryly. “Not to mention that I saw the way you and the girl… Isabella, right?... were sitting together. I’m not the only one you’re interested in, am I?” 

Now Ferb was blushing in more shades than he could imagine. It was bad enough that he had noticed that he felt something for Isabella, but if someone else had noticed as well? After such a short period of observation? He regained his composure and shrugged. “She likes Phineas. He hasn’t responded to any of her flirting over the past years, but that has never stopped her.” 

“Well, she is your friend, isn’t she?” Vanessa pointed out. “Maybe all you need to do is be there for her and remind her that there are more fish in the sea. If she has liked your brother for so long and he hasn’t reacted to her, he might never react to her feelings. Do you really want to condemn the two of them to remain in that static state forever?” 

Now that Vanessa put it like that, it did sound reasonable. Ferb pondered it over in his mind. Could he attempt to… what, flirt with Isabella? She probably wouldn’t notice him, but he could always give it a try. Not to the same extent she had flirted with Phineas, but just on a few occasions. To test the waters, as it were.

As he looked up again, Vanessa was just getting up and putting her coat back on. “I really have to run along now” she said. “I know it’s just been two hours, but I promised my Dad tonight was game night and he insists that I should be home early for dinner for that. But if you need me again, give me a call, okay? Candace should still have my number.” Ferb nodded, walking along with her towards the front door. “Oh, and thanks for having me over.” She grinned and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek like she’d done two years ago, and then she rushed out of the door, Ferb looking after her. 

Huh. No psychedelic flowers. That was strange. 

He walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch before absentmindedly petting his platypus, who was still there. “This is nuts, Perry,” he sighed. “I still have a crush on Vanessa, but it might be fading and now I like Isabella instead, who still loves Phineas but doesn’t realize Phineas is in love with Candace. Can’t blame her there. Meanwhile Candace is still insecure about Jeremy which will provide trouble tonight in some way, and she doesn’t know about Phineas’ feelings, while Phineas is still oblivious to Isabella and Isabella is… oblivious to me. As far as I know. And apparently, it’s all so complex that even I can’t make sense of it without saying it out loud.” 

He sighed and put his pet back down before his gaze briefly wandered over to the stairs. This had already been a crazy day thus far, but judging from what he could hear from his sister neurotically rambling to herself upstairs, it was going to get even crazier soon. Shaking his head, he walked outside to rejoin his friends.


	10. "No one suspects a thing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Stacy, "Happy Birthday Isabella". 
> 
> Yup! A Stacy chapter. It's going to be the only one of its kind, so I'd give the Stacy fans the advice to savor it. Doesn't mean Stacy won't be coming back, of course, but she's not one of the four main characters of the story. Nor is Perry, for that matter. 
> 
> And thus, we move ever closer to stuff happening - this chapter is the calm before the storm, as it were. Next chapter, a lot of things are going to go down that will change the relationship dynamic between our main characters for good.
> 
> Thanks to reviewer Acts of Tekla for helping to contract Perry's expositionish and rambling notes to Stacy - they really were too long to be realistic.

Stacy Hirano hated geography. 

It was only a few weeks into her final high school year, and already she was missing the holidays (well, to be fair, she’d been missing them from the Tuesday after school started onwards). Her teachers seemed to think it was fun to load her with work in the early weeks when their minds were supposed to be fresher than usual. Well, if that idea was true, Stacy certainly couldn’t apply it to herself. She had to do overtime during autumn break just to pass her next test. At least not all of her subjects were this bad. She was pretty good at English, despite having had to learn the language from scratch, and her dexterity wasn’t too bad either. Now if she could just get these stupid national capitals into her head, then she’d be able to relax for the next day and a half… 

And then she heard a rock being thrown at her window. 

The fact that it was an easy excuse to stop her work made her not question what was up until she had actually shoved her window open. But when she looked down, she saw someone she hadn’t expected to show up here, especially at 6:30 in the evening – Perry the platypus. 

It had been two years since Stacy had found out about Perry’s secret, and ever since she had treated keeping it like some kind of spy mission. And it worked, for some reason. Despite all the times she’d been over at Candace’s house and heard her ramble about her brothers’ lousy pet, despite all the times she’d been around when Phineas asked where Perry was, and despite all the times she’d actually come across him in the hallway, acting like a normal pet in every way, she had never spilled the beans. Sure, maybe Candace had looked at her suspiciously once or twice, but she had never connected the dots, and this was Candace. Suspicion was in her nature. 

Part of the reason why she had been able to keep Perry’s secret, though, was that he’d treated her so normally, like he would treat anybody else who didn’t know the truth – she saw him when he was acting like a pet whenever she was over at the Flynn-Fletchers, but that was just about it. He had only been in contact in ‘agent mode’ with her once or twice since the reveal, and those occasions had been instigated by her. Needless to say, it left Stacy very curious why Perry had deviated from protocol this time and searched her out. 

She hissed “I’m coming!” out of the window and sneaked down the stairs – fortunately, her parents were all in the front rooms of the house, and Ginger was probably in her own room, either studying or working on something to impress Baljeet. Either way, the way outside was clear and she soon located Perry, who was sitting next to the house in pet mode. She scooped the innocuous-looking platypus up and brought him up to her room. 

When she had shut the door and turned back to him, he had already slapped his hat back on and taken out a small notepad. Of course – since he wasn’t able to tell her what he needed to see her for, this would be his best bet. The paper was blank aside from four words: _I need your advice._

Stacy stared back at him. “Okay, about what?” 

Perry motioned towards her bed, which left Stacy confused for a moment until she figured out that he wanted her to sit down. Afterwards, he handed her another note, which said: _Phineas has a crush on Isabella._

No, that’s what it _would_ have said if it had made any sense, and that was what Stacy read at first until she glanced back at it and realized that wasn’t what it had said at all. 

Perry hadn’t written Isabella’s name. He had written Candace’s. 

Stacy’s eyes went wide. “What?” Phineas having a crush on Candace? His own sister? That… that made zero sense. “Are you sure about this, Perry? Maybe you just misinterpreted something…” He was a platypus, after all. One couldn’t expect him to have a solid grasp on the intricacies of human relationships.

The semi-aquatic mammal gave her a look, and Stacy almost blushed. He _was_ a smart and perceptive platypus from what she’d seen, and he had to know his owners better than almost everyone else, but even so… “It’s not that I don’t believe you, Perry,” she hastened to tell him, “but you’ve got to admit this is really farfetched. I’m going to need some actual evidence.”

Perry warily nodded and wrote something down which he handed to her. _Ferb said so._

“Wait, Ferb told you something?” Perry shook his head. “Or did you overhear him talking? Because if you did, you might have gotten something out of context… that’s possible, right? I mean, if Ferb just said Phineas really liked Candace he could’ve still meant it in a sibling way, or…”

The words died in her throat as she read the next note Perry handed to her. _Stacy, they went on a movie date._

And this was _not_ something she could dismiss out of hand. Stacy could remember Candace telling her about taking Phineas out to Space Adventure and Ducky Momo before, but her only thought at the time had been relief that something was getting her best friend’s attention away from Jeremy. “Are you saying Phineas considered that an actual date? He said so in front of you?”

Perry nodded vigorously, and it was enough for Stacy to feel dizzy. “Okay, so Phineas has a crush on Candace” she muttered, testing the words as she spoke them aloud and finding none of them that made any sense. “That’s nuts, but let’s assume you’re right for the moment. Does she know?” Perry shook his head. “So, what do you want my advice on? Do you want me to call Phineas and tell him he can’t go on with this? He’d want to know how I knew about it, and I can’t tell him about you. And didn’t you say Ferb already knew about it? He could help Phineas, right?”

Perry sighed and handed her another note. _Ferb is helping – in a way._

Stacy frowned. “Are you saying that Ferb is trying to help Phineas get over Candace but it just isn’t working… or that he’s actually encouraging him?”

The platypus gave a shrug, indicating he thought that detail was of little importance. _C + J final date tonight. I have a very bad feeling about it._

Stacy gulped. If Perry was in any way right… this could indeed end up very badly. She tried to put on a responsible look. “You want to help, but you don’t want to risk your OWCA cover over this, right?” Perry nodded. “Well, that means calling Phineas or Ferb is out, and I don’t want to tell Candace everything, so…” She sighed. “Wow. Phineas having a crush on his sister. That’s going to blow Isabella’s mind, at least. Probably means that this ‘Phinbella’ thing is never going to happen either... Wait, is it ‘Phinbella’ or ‘Phin _a_ bella’? Because I think I’ve heard Isabella and Ginger use the version which includes the extra ‘a’ but I’ve heard Adyson use the version without it and to be honest I think that makes the most sense as well. What do you think?” Perry gave her a look. “Right, right. Focus.”

She leaned back and tried to analyze the situation as hand as well as she could. “Well… I don’t think there’s really a lot we _can_ do, is there?” Perry chattered in agreement. “It’s probably not up to us to meddle anyway. I suppose I could always give Candace a call and ask her about her relationship with Phineas and try to get her to calm down before tonight, but that’s it. Should I do that?” Perry hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah, I thought so too. Worth a shot.” 

She took out her cell phone and dialed Candace’s number. At least now her phone was up and running again – it had taken her ages to weed through all of Candace’s paranoid messages over the last weeks. It didn’t take long for her friend to pick up. “Oh hi Stace, what’s up?” 

All right, that was normal enough. “Hey, Candace” Stacy replied. “How are you?” 

“Fine, I guess” Candace replied. “A little neurotic for tonight, though. But I pretty much have to be, Jeremy is leaving again tomorrow and I might not get the chance to see him face-to-face again before Christmas! I mean, he said he might be back for Thanksgiving but he’s not sure… I need to leave an unmistakable impression and a perfect night! So yeah, I don’t really have time for your call. Did you have anything else to say? A specific reason to call me now?” 

Stacy uneasily looked around. “Uh, yeah, about that…” Her eyes lit on Perry. “I found your brothers’ platypus around the house. Guess he must have gotten lost or something like that. Want me to bring him over?” 

There was an uneasy chuckle from the other side of the line. “You might as well keep him a while to teach the boys they shouldn’t let the meatbrick wander off all the time. I haven’t heard a ‘where’s Perry’ all day yet – although to be fair, I haven’t really been paying attention to their project today and I hope they’re not going to do anything bustable because tonight everything should be perfect! I doubt they will, though. The sun is down and they rarely do anything after dark. But seriously, you should probably bring Perry back soon because Phineas tends to worry about him and I don’t want to see him unhappy all the time. That’s just _weird_.” 

Stacy nodded, smiling as she noticed the opening she needed. “So, how has he been coping the last weeks? He and Ferb? It’s their last year of middle school, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah, it is” Candace replied. “Not that you’d know that from looking at them, they never seem to change. Always building crazy projects that disappear just before I can get mom to see them! The only way anything’s changed at all is that the boys have gotten… taller…” Her voice trailed off, and for a moment Stacy wondered whether she had hung up. “…but that’s a long story. Anyway, I haven’t paid too much attention lately.” 

If that was right, it would either disprove Perry’s theory or show Candace was more oblivious than she appeared to be. “But you did go to the movies with him, didn’t you?” Stacy said. “With Phineas, I mean. How did that work out?” 

Candace pondered that for a moment. “That… that worked out surprisingly well, I guess. I was upset at first because I was getting to watch this great Ducky Momo movie and Jeremy wasn’t there, but Phineas really seemed to get into it and even laughed at some of the corny jokes. There was this accident with something he had built spilling juice all over the place but I got that all cleaned up again. And by the end I promised to take him to Space Adventure since that was one of his favorites, and I actually ended up getting into it somewhat. Once I got past the urge of wanting to bust the protagonists, of course… Phineas had to keep my arms in place so I wouldn’t bolt at the screen in the first scenes.” She chuckled. “So yeah, good times. It would have probably been even better if Jeremy had been there with me, but at least this was less stressful. I didn’t have to worry about remaining good girlfriend material, you know?” 

Stacy nodded, a pattern becoming apparent to her. “So, you and Phineas had a good time together? And it was his idea?” 

“That’s right” Candace replied. “Well, it was because he had some tickets leftover that he really wanted to use and I was the only one who could go with him at the agreed date, and I desperately wanted to see the movie. He seemed really eager to go and watch the movie for some reason, but hey, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth and all.” She paused. “What, are you getting somewhere with that?” 

Stacy noticed Perry’s frantic waves to cut off the conversation, and she shook her head. “No, just wondering. I guess I’d better move along then, I still have some homework to do. Good luck with Jeremy tonight, I guess. Oh, and remember to be yourself. Scratch that, just calm down. Calm down and don’t think of your brothers, okay? I mean…” 

Candace snorted. “Oh, please. As if I don’t know how to behave on a date with Jeremy. But yeah, I gotta go now too. Talk to you later!” 

“Talk to you later” Stacy dully echoed as her friend ended the call. She turned back to Perry and gave him a small smile. “Looks like you may be right. Phineas probably does have a thing for her, only she doesn’t notice and nothing I’ve said is going to help change that.” 

Perry handed her another note (or actually it was the back of one of the previous notes - she hadn't thought platypuses would care about recycling, but apparently they did). _We'll have to wait and see._

Stacy nodded. “I guess so. Do you need me to take you home?” Perry shook his head. “Well, see you later then. Keep me posted on the Phineas and Candace situation, okay?” 

Perry nodded and climbed onto the edge of her window where he activated a small propeller in his hat and flew off. Stacy watched after him in amazement. Times like this, she wished that she was an animal secret agent. But apparently, things as Phineas and Ferb’s pet weren’t all that either if you had to deal with one owner having a taboo-defying crush on his sister and you had all these relationships going on around you and leading to uncertain outcomes. Stacy could only hope Candace wasn’t going to do anything crazy tonight… but she wasn’t counting on it. 

Sighing, Stacy put her phone on alert on her desk and got back to her homework. This geography wasn’t going to learn itself.


	11. “You know, you can’t force these things.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Ferb, "Act Your Age".
> 
> All right, so I've said many negative things about "Act Your Age" before, but I couldn't pass up this quote since it's so appropriate. To turn a phrase, never in the course of human history have words so profound been spoken about a pairing so rotten. 
> 
> (Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little there, but there are moments when I just can't stand Phinbella. And I do believe firmly that Ferb's words, at least, are very accurate.) But in this chapter, it doesn't apply to Phinbella but instead to Canderemy. Which, as you'll see, it can fit as well. Please read, review and leave constructive criticism!

To say Candace was nervous for the big night was like saying the Pacific Ocean was a bit humid. 

She had tried to relax during the early hours of the day, sleeping in and preparing what she would wear, what she would do, what she would say to him… it still hadn’t helped calming her down, though. Now it was seven P.M. and it was just about time for her to leave for Jeremy’s house – not too early, but not too late either. She was going to nail this final date no matter how much effort it would take. 

After checking her appearance a final time in the mirror, Candace left her room and headed down the stairs into the backyard. It was the perfect night for a date – bright stars, the moon glowing softly, a cool temperature but not too cold… 

…wait, was that her brothers building something in the backyard? At night?

Candace clenched her fists. They couldn’t do that to her. Not tonight. Not while Mom and Dad were off to the theater again and she couldn’t bust them. “What are you two up to!” she exclaimed. 

Phineas noticed her approach. “Oh, hi Candace. It’s nice of you to drop by, but we’re making a surprise for you, and don’t you have a date to attend?” 

A surprise? Yes, he could say that they’d given her a surprise tonight, one casting her ability to go to her date severely in doubt. Candace hurriedly checked her phone. It was just a few minutes past seven… she would be a little late for her date with Jeremy if she ran off to get Mom, but she couldn’t let them get away with this. What if Mom and Dad came home and discovered this in the backyard? Sure, they’d bust the boys, but what would they say about the fact that she would have failed to stop them? 

She ran out to the streets for the best reception and rapidly tracked down her mother’s number. As usual, it took a few tries before Linda Flynn-Fletcher picked up, leaving Candace frantically walking up and down the street until finally her mother’s voice came through the receiver. “Candace?” 

“Mom!” Candace exclaimed. “You’ve got to come home right away, the boys are building…” She squinted at the yard. “…something in the backyard! It’s big!” 

There was a pause. “Candace, your father and I are at our movie night. We asked you not to call unless there was anything serious. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m not someone who’s inclined to come investigate ‘something in the backyard’ without even getting any idea on what that something is.” 

Candace sighed. “Fine, I’ll send you a picture instead.” 

“That would be appreciated.” Her mother cut off the connection, after which Candace ran back into the yard and took a picture of the boys’ invention… or at least, she tried to. Instead, when she had just managed to get the perfect view of what her brothers were building and pressed the appropriate button, what she got was a message saying the room for taking photographs had ran out. 

Of course it had. In retrospect, taking and sending fifty pictures of herself for Jeremy over the last week alone probably hadn’t been the smartest idea she’d ever had. Candace gritted her teeth and looked over at the boys, who were still happily hammering away. “Um, Phineas?” This was embarrassing, even more so mid-bust than usual. “Can I borrow your cell phone?” 

Her brother blinked. “Sure, Candace. Let me see where I have it…” He checked the pockets of his pants but apparently came up empty. Ferb, too, shrugged. “Hm, that’s strange. I must have left it in our room…” 

Candace didn’t bother to listen whether the sentence would go on for any longer. She ran into the house, raced up the stairs, and got into her brothers’ room. And of course the phone wasn’t on the desk in an easily visible location, but instead in a drawer she’d only checked after all the others. She grabbed it, ran outside, took a picture… 

…and was reminded that Phineas’ phone could only _take_ pictures, not send them to others. Seriously, it was at moments like these that Candace wondered whether her brothers actually cared about what they could do. What was the point of being able to make the most advanced technology ever and only using a fraction of it? She supposed it was for the same reason Phineas and Ferb still often travelled by bike rather than by one of the many other means of transportation they had devised – nostalgia, simplicity and covering basic needs. 

Well, at least she had the picture – now all she needed to do was to show it to Mom. And luckily, the movie theater wasn’t too far away. She dashed over to the garage and got into her thankfully repaired car. She raced out of the garage, got the car on the road…

…and barely moved forwards. Oh, right. After continued insistence from her parents since the incident she’d had with the Nymph, she had consented to having an electronic speed controller installed ‘until we can all be sure you’ve calmed down enough to be trusted with a car that could theoretically go hundred and forty miles per hour in a twenty-mile zone’. Needless to say, that moment had not happened yet. 

It took Candace a painstaking eight minutes until finally, the theater was in sight. She got out of the car and rushed inside, only then coming to the realization that she didn’t know what room her parents were in. Sure, all the movies were listed on the screen in the center of the hallway, but she didn’t know what movies they had gone to see… they had probably told her, but she just hadn’t listened again… She groaned, taking out her phone and dialing her mother’s number. 

Linda Flynn sounded more irate than the previous time. “What is it now, Candace?” 

“I’ve got the evidence!” Candace replied cheerfully. “I’ve got proof of Phineas and Ferb being up to something tonight and I came to the theater to show it to you, but I don’t know what room you’re in.” 

There was a brief beat at the other end of the line. “Really?” her mother finally replied. “You came over to the theater, leaving your brothers home alone, and you want to show me something while I’m in the middle of a movie? Candace, I’m not going to tell you where we are at and they won’t let you in anyway… although I suppose you wouldn’t mind making a scene by bursting in instead!” Her mother paused and Candace could hear her father say something in a soft, soothing tone. “You’re right, Lawrence. Listen, Candace, I’m going to hang up now. When we get back home you can show me whatever you want.” 

Candace blinked. “But wait, Mom, I…” She tried to call back, but was interrupted by another call coming in on her own phone, which was still in her back pocket. Confused, she checked the Caller ID. 

It was Jeremy. 

A chill crept up her spine as she answered it. “Um, hello, Jeremy?” 

“Candace?” A familiar voice replied. “Where are you? We were supposed to have a final get together at my house tonight and you were to be there at seven and it’s seven-forty now. You didn’t respond to my messages,” darn clogged up inbox, “so I headed over to your home and your brothers told me you’d gone off to the theater. Did you forget our appointment?” 

The same chill expanded over the rest of her body. It couldn’t be seven-forty already… But as she checked her watch, it verified what Jeremy was saying. Candace gulped. “I’m sorry Jeremy, I really am! I just got distracted trying to bust the boys…” 

A sigh came at the other end. “Really, Candace? Is that’s what this is all about?” It was like she could hear the exasperation seeping out of his voice. “Look, if you’re not feeling up to this tonight, then I guess we don’t have to have a final date before I leave…” 

“No!” Candace exclaimed. “No, no I’m fine, I’m fine. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Bye Jeremy!” She ran towards her car and shifted it into gear before racing back home as far as she could. All right, maybe she couldn’t bust the boys, but that didn’t matter right now. She’d gotten this date off to a disastrous start and she needed to make it up somehow. 

The ride home was even tenser than the ride to the theater had been, but it was suddenly interrupted by someone stepping in front of the car when she was almost there. Well, to be fair, she had not exactly been paying attention to the road either – fortunately, the incident went off without a hitch as Candace’s car came screeching to a halt. Afterwards, the person – a young woman in her twenties – came walking up to her window. “Hello?” 

Candace gritted her teeth. She had no patience or time to talk with someone whom she’d just almost been in a car accident with. “What is it?” 

The woman blinked. “Um… do you know where a Jeremy Johnson lives? I’m not familiar with Danville but he has to live somewhere in this neighborhood and you look to be about his age. Tall guy, blonde, good-looking…” 

Candace froze. This was it, the stuff of her nightmares. Someone from Jeremy’s college coming to meet him. She couldn’t let it happen. She couldn’t let the entire relationship fall apart. She had to do something… 

The redhead thought quickly before giving the woman a sweet smile. “Actually, I do know where he lives” she replied. “Do you have a pen and a piece of paper?” 

She got the items and carefully set down the route – a route which did not lead towards Jeremy’s house but went about six hundred yards into the other direction, leading towards the home of a mad scientist she’d had to visit once to deliver Fireside Girl cupcakes. The man shot everyone who came up to his house with his ‘Icinizer’, which had merely frozen her for half an hour and was otherwise harmless, but would probably shock a non-native citizen of Danville. Hopefully enough to high-tail it out of here. 

A satisfied smile came on her face, one that stuck as she drove back to the yard until it disappeared and was replaced by an uncertain expression. She would be meeting up with Jeremy again. What would he say? Would he be mad? What would he do with her?

Was that a giant restaurant? 

Candace blinked. Sure enough, laid out before her in her backyard was a giant restaurant draped in soft red colors which stretched from the backdoor of the house all the way to the fence on the other side, although it had a strange, curved shape which she couldn’t quite recognize. The shape vaguely resembled that of an M, though… had they made it for Milly the Fireside Girl? Was this what Phineas and Ferb had been building earlier this evening? 

Well, Candace resolved to herself, the purpose of the strange building didn’t matter. What mattered was that Phineas and Ferb had built something huge in the backyard again while she was in the middle of finding her way back to Jeremy. She slammed the door open, nearly knocking over poor Isabella who was serving as a porter, and headed in. She scanned the entrance hallway for a sign leading towards the kitchen and, not finding it, just stormed straight ahead. As she soon entered a large room filled with tables where she could see Phineas and Ferb at the bar, it appeared that method worked as well as any. 

Candace stormed up to her brothers, barely able to conceal her frustration. “Phineas! Ferb! Seriously, what do you guys think you’re doing!” 

“Candace!” Phineas said cheerfully. “It’s good to see you’re here. You see, Jeremy just – ”

“…called me to tell me I was late to our date, which I was because you two just had to build something impossible in our backyard for the zillionth time!” Candace exclaimed. “Seriously? Can’t you go one day without building something crazy? I can’t bust you and pay attention to Jeremy at the same time, and this is the last day of autumn vacation! I’ve got to create a lasting impression now or I could lose him forever!” 

“Uh, Candace…” Phineas interrupted. 

“No, you’re not going to get away with it this time! I – seriously, Phineas, can’t you see that what you’re doing by building impossible things in our backyard is affecting my life as well? I keep having to call Mom and now I have to find Jeremy because I’m already half an hour late and I don’t want him to break everything off over this because that is not how we’re going to date through college and…” 

Candace froze as she noticed Ferb’s hand gestures. “Oh…” she added, a lot softer now. “You mean that… I’ve got something on my shirt?” 

Ferb face palmed, while Phineas pointed past her. “Right, you mean he’s behind me. Gee, I should have figured that out sooner…” Realization set in. “Oh.” 

“Evening, Candace” Jeremy said, his voice monotonous. As Candace turned around, she noticed him sitting at a table in the center of the room. From the plates and the candles on the table, Candace began to realize what that M-shape had meant, and it wasn’t the name of a Fireside Girl – it was the shape of a heart. 

“Ferb, Isabella and I built this romantic restaurant for you and Jeremy to enjoy a dinner date in” Phineas said softly, somehow making Candace feel even more embarrassed. She’d make it up to them, she resolved to herself. First, she had to figure out whether she and Jeremy were still on speaking terms. She awkwardly walked over and sat down, as Phineas and Ferb left the room. 

“So…” Jeremy said, his voice more downcast than usual. “This is how you treat your brothers and talk about me when you think I’m not there? After taking nearly an hour to show up just because you feel the urge to bust them?” 

Candace turned even redder than she already had. “Jeremy, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” 

“I know, Candace” Jeremy replied. “I know.” He mustered a smile. “You know, I usually love your vibrant personality, but it feels like this date has gotten off to a fairly rotten start. Maybe we should just eat dinner and just go back to my place for a while afterwards?” 

Candace nodded, wishing to say that the night still could be what they’d planned it to be but not really feeling it anymore either. It was going to take a while for this awkwardness to be smoothed over again, and all of the big plans she had made for tonight just didn’t seem to fit into that anymore. Maybe she could still talk to Jeremy about plans for the future tonight, though. Or even play a game with him. She always had a good time at the Johnson house, Jeremy’s family was nice (apart from Suzy, obviously) and that might just be a way for them to leave this night feeling good about themselves and each other again. 

That feeling wasn’t really fixed throughout dinner, which Phineas served immediately thereafter. It was delicious but didn’t do anything to ease the tension that was there, nor did Candace’s meager attempts to compensate by nervously cracking jokes, getting nervous whenever Jeremy mentioned other girls at college, or slipping out twice because she thought she’d heard a car horn and she didn’t want to miss her mother seeing this. But Linda didn’t come home throughout, and by the end of the dinner it was nine P.M. and only her stomach was properly satisfied. 

They set off to Jeremy’s house nevertheless, both determined to make something of the night after all. Jeremy was quiet at first, but as they walked through the moonlight and reminisced about previous dates, a bit of that spark came back. Maybe this night wasn’t everything they had wanted, but they could still have a good time. 

Candace’s optimism shattered the moment they entered the house and saw a very familiar (and very much soaked) woman sitting on the couch. Jeremy’s next words sealed it. “Elly? What are you doing here?” 

The woman – Elly – leaned back and glared at Candace. “I was in the state anyway on business, so I thought I’d come and pay my little cousins and my uncle and aunt a surprise visit. I’d just forgotten where you lived exactly, so I decided to rely on the friendliness of the people of Danville and ask the way. Unfortunately, it seems my reliance was ill-judged and I ended up coated in ice by a creepy pharmacist instead.” 

It didn’t take Jeremy long to place the link, and he turned to his girlfriend with a shocked, angered and just plain hurt look in his eyes. “…Candace?” 

“I – I can explain!” Candace exclaimed. This was horrible. It was like a nightmare. “I thought she was a college friend of yours… not that you can’t have female friends at college, of course… but that she might distract us from, you know, having a good night… I didn’t know she was related to you, I…” 

She should shut up. She was only making things worse. But she was Candace Flynn and she had always solved things with talking her way out of it, not to mention that she could see from Jeremy’s expression that she wouldn’t like what he would have to say when she stopped talking. So she didn’t. 

“I know I should have just guided her to your house, but you had just called me after I’d spent so much time busting the boys and I didn’t want to risk having an uneasy evening which would be totally shattered by throwing someone else’s presence into the mix…” 

“…Candace”

“And I’m sorry, I really am, but it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time and well I don’t mean the right right thing to do but the right thing for our relationship because this was the last night before college and I didn’t want anything to ruin it and…” 

“Candace, please…” 

“And I will make it up to you and to your cousin too but if you’ll just understand…” 

“Candace!” 

That got her to stop. Jeremy had rarely – scratch that, as far as she could recall he had never raised his voice against her before. But now, it appeared that he had enough. The expression on his face, where anger seemed to have gained predominance, said it all. “…Jeremy?” 

Jeremy sighed, turning to his cousin. “Elly, could you leave us alone for a moment? My girlfriend and I have something we need to talk about.” 

Elly nodded. “I’ll just be in the next room with your parents until you finish your discussion. And here I was thinking I would like meeting this Candace you’d always spoken so highly about.” She gave the befuddled redhead a look and walked off.

That just left Candace and Jeremy alone in the room, staring at each other, and Candace realized this was not the moment to sit down as her boyfriend’s expression remained far from friendly. “Candace,” he said softly, “over the course of the night you’ve been fifty minutes late for our date, obsessed over busting your brothers, chewed out said brothers, revealed that you’re trying to put up a front for me, and caused my cousin to… get frozen by a pharmacist or something? Well, I don’t know exactly what you’ve done to her, and I don’t really think I want to know.” 

“I know!” Candace exclaimed. “I shouldn’t have done any of that and I know I’m a horrible person but I… I was trying…” She sighed. “You’re right. No excuse. I’m just terrible.” 

Jeremy’s frown softened and he patted her shoulder. “Candace, you’re not a terrible person. You are neurotic and rash and you let your emotions do the thinking for you. That doesn’t mean you’re horrible, just flawed, like everyone’s flawed.” He sighed. “But I’m afraid that means this isn’t going to work.” 

Candace blinked. “What do you mean?” 

“When autumn started, I was all for dating through college” Jeremy replied. “But right now, I don’t think we could keep it up. You’d just remain too worried about having to keep up appearances for me and whether I won’t find someone else, and I don’t want to put you through all that strain. Tonight was a disaster, Candace, and although I’m not saying that’s all your fault I don’t want that to happen to us again. So maybe it would be best if we took some time apart.” 

Candace’s eyes widened. This was not her worst nightmare – it was so much worse. “You’re breaking up with me?” She’d thought he had done that once before, but it had turned out to be a misunderstanding then. Somehow she didn’t think it was now, although she desperately tried to keep hoping. _Please say no, please say no, please say no…_

Jeremy shook his head. “Not permanently. We can still hang out next summer and do boyfriend and girlfriend things, and maybe we could resume our relationship after college unless either of us has gotten reason not to continue this. But we can’t go on like this, Candace. We can’t date through college. I’m sorry.” 

“No” Candace whispered. “No, no, no! You – you can’t do this to me! We’re supposed to date through college and get married and have Xavier and Amanda! Don’t you see? If you pull one thread the whole thing falls apart! We might as well break up now and I don’t want to do that because I love you and…” 

She broke into tears, and Jeremy awkwardly hugged her, which would usually be sweet but now just served to cement the hurt she felt. She couldn’t believe this was really happening. It couldn’t be happening. This all had to be some kind of crazy dream and she would wake up any minute back home and everything would be normal again… 

“Candace?” Candace blinked and turned sideways at the familiar voice of her brother, standing in the doorway they had never quite gotten around to shutting and simply staring at her. 

Jeremy noticed him as well. “Phineas? What are you doing here?” 

Phineas just kept standing there, looking extremely concerned and at the same time conflicted about making a move. “Um, you forgot your drain unclogger, so I came over to bring it” he replied, putting the item down on a table near the entrance. “I – what happened here?” 

“It’s over” Candace whispered, tears streaming into her eyes as she began to realize what had happened despite her mind still trying to shut out the information. “Jeremy broke up with me. It – it’s over. And it’s all my fault. I messed up. I messed up so much…” 

She couldn’t take it anymore and burst out crying. Both boys looked at her and at each other and then tried to put a hand on her shoulders, but she shrugged them off. “I’m going home, I need some time to think. Goodbye.” 

Before Jeremy or Phineas could say anything else to stop her she walked out onto the curb and walked home, the darkening sky doing nothing to lift her spirits. Behind her, she could glance over her shoulder that Jeremy just stood there, clearly sorry for her but not going out to comfort her and tell her that he didn’t mean it that way, no matter how much she wanted him to. Phineas just stood there at his side for a while, occasionally glancing at her ex-boyfriend with the darkest glare she’d _ever_ seen on his face before finally following his sister at a distance. 

She didn’t care about them. Frankly, she could care less about anything at the moment. Not about the weather, not about boys, and definitely not about anyone who would try to comfort her as long as that comfort wouldn’t come with a repaired relationship. She needed to be alone. 

Jeremy had broken up with her. The last time something like this had happened, she had ran out into the wild and lived with monkeys for hours before finding out it had all been a misunderstanding. Now, however, it was real, and she didn’t have any monkeys around to comfort her. All she could do was cry. She slumped home past the (naturally) disappeared restaurant, got into the house while ignoring her parents, and got up the stairs into her own room before falling down on the bed and letting her tears roam freely. Maybe eventually they would stop flowing, but for the moment Candace doubted it. 

Her relationship with Jeremy was shattered. Her life was shattered. 

How could she ever move on from that?


	12. “Sounds like Candace is in a serious funk. I wonder what we can do to snap her out of it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Phineas, "Cheer Up Candace". 
> 
> As for notes here... I actually think the title quote covers the content rather well, leaving me with nothing else to say besides that this is a less turbulent chapter than the last one, which was probably only to be expected. Please read and review!

When he got home, Phineas had slightly more courtesy than his sister and did greet his parents. But “hey” was about the only thing he said to them before he headed up the stairs and stepped into his room, where Ferb was typing away at his computer. His brother’s entrance made him look up. 

“We need to talk.” 

Ferb nodded and shut off the computer, then sat down on his bed and motioned for his brother to begin the conversation. 

“They broke up, Ferb” Phineas replied. “Candace and Jeremy. I don’t know precisely what happened but apparently Candace did something. She’s in her room blaming herself and crying and I don’t know what to do, because…” He took a deep breath. “I was _excited_ when I heard it.” 

Ferb raised an eyebrow, but didn’t make any other maneuver. 

“Don’t you get it?” Phineas pressed on, disturbed by Ferb’s non-reaction. “I was _excited_ , Ferb. Of course most of me was sorry for Candace and it broke my heart to see her crying, but part of me actually got a thrill out of seeing that she was no longer with Jeremy! That’s horrible! How could I do that, I shouldn’t… I’m a horrible brother! I should be feeling as devastated as she does, not anticipating the opportunities this opens up!” Okay, maybe he was exaggerating because a large part of him was actually as sad as it should probably be, but the fact that there was even a tiny part of his brain that wasn’t completely unnerved him. 

Ferb put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a sympathetic look, but Phineas shook his head. “No, it’s not okay. How did I go from the guy who wanted the best for everyone, who didn’t want to see his sister cry… and tonight she cried, Ferb. And it broke my heart to see her like that, but some part of it was actually happy. _Why?”_

Ferb shrugged. Phineas glared at him. “No, it’s not obvious! I don’t get it! And don’t you just go acting like it’s normal and natural. I… I….” He sighed. “I’m sorry Ferb, that was uncalled for. It’s just…” He ran his hand through his hair. “I was always an optimistic guy who tried to make everyone happy. Now I’m happy at Candace’s grief and lashing out at my best friend. That’s not natural, no matter what you say. What happened to me!” 

“Puberty” Ferb said softly. 

Phineas stared at him for a few moments, then shook his head again. “No, you can’t explain this by puberty. That’s not enough. I…” He laughed half-heartedly. “What should I do, Ferb? What can I do? I don’t even know what is good for me anymore, let alone for everybody else…” 

In response, Ferb put his arm around his younger brother and pointed at the picture frame hanging in their room. It was a picture of the two of them with their older sister. One might say it had been taken in happier times. He then made a hand motion. 

Phineas blinked. “Wait, you mean I should go to her? Or stay away from her? Which one is it, I don’t know anymore, I don’t get it, I…” He sighed. “Oh man, I’m becoming just as chaotically messed up as Candace is.” 

Ferb smiled faintly. He then firmly shook his head. 

“You mean, I should stay away from Candace.” A nod. “Because you don’t want me accidentally revealing my crush to her at a moment she would not be able to take it, or to have ulterior motives in comforting her? I… could see that, I guess.” He stared at the wall, through which they could hear their sister’s misery. It felt like every sob was a stab into his heart, and he wished so desperately to go over and hold her and do something to make her feel all right again… “I just don’t know if I can manage that.” 

Ferb nodded understandingly, and walked over to his desk before fetching their sketchbook from the drawer. Phineas’ eyes lit up when he saw it, but he nevertheless flipped through it with a confused look on his face until he came to the page Ferb was hoping he would find. 

“You made a new invention sketch!” the redhead exclaimed. “A platypus-transformer? That’s a great idea! We can use this to talk to Perry and maybe find out where he goes every day! I hope it works, though. That animal translator failing back in the day was really strange.” He studied the blueprint carefully. “Hmm, I’m not sure that piece would work there.” 

Ferb shrugged apologetically, and Phineas grinned at him. “It’s okay, bro. I’m just nitpicking. This sounds really cool. It would be a refreshing break from all that relationship stuff too – with the exception of that restaurant tonight, it feels like it’s been forever since we last built anything.” 

Ferb rolled his eyes. Phineas playfully stuck out his tongue at him. “Yeah, I know it’s been only a week in-between inventions lately. But we’re Phineas and Ferb. Aren’t we supposed to create inventive contraptions every day? Before we know it everyone in the neighborhood will think we’re two boring lazy old men.” 

Ferb gave him a look of which the meaning was clear as day – _Since when have_ you _been vain about what other people think?_ Phineas shrugged. “Yeah, I know. Guess you were onto something with that puberty stuff after all. Come on, let’s get to work now. I’ll see if I can work out your blueprint, you go look and see if we still have everything we need in the basement or whether we’ll need to restock.” He smiled a genuine smile. “Ferb, I know what we’re going to do tomorrow!” 

The excited look on his brother’s face made him get to work right away on the blueprint and speculate on the invention. A platypus transformer really was something else, and it should provide them with many opportunities to experience the life of their pet platypus. Maybe they could even find out where Perry went every day. Normally, he would be over the moon. 

And yet with every sob he heard from the other side of the wall, Phineas found himself getting less into it. 

The project was left unfinished by the time Phineas and Ferb went to bed at around 11 – Ferb curious about why Phineas decided to call it a day so early, but not pressing his brother. Phineas tried to fill his head with inventions. _Don’t think about Candace. Stop wanting to comfort her. Ferb is right, you really are an unknown factor and you don’t know what you’d do. You don’t want to risk hurting Candace even more._

It must have worked, because eventually he fell asleep and had dreams that were a lot less bright and optimistic than usual. It was almost a relief when he snapped awake at 4:30 and became aware of the fact that he needed to go to the bathroom. As Ferb was sound asleep, Phineas quietly got off the bed and sneaked out. 

He was almost there when he heard his sister’s voice. 

It wasn’t much – just one short, choked-up ‘why’ – but it was enough to halt him in his tracks. Was Candace awake? Had she been awake the whole time? The thought filled him with sympathy for his sister, and he barely noticed he had his hand on the door knob until he realized Ferb’s words. Don’t push it. Don’t go there. You can’t tell Candace about your feelings. 

He had to let go. 

Sighing, he headed into the bathroom and did his business. With any luck, Candace would be sound asleep by the time he headed back. 

She wasn’t. 

Phineas stood in front of his sister’s bedroom for over a minute, pondering what to do. His head was telling him to walk on, his heart was telling him to get in, and he just couldn’t decide. Yes, he wanted to comfort Candace more than anything, but he had agreed with Ferb not to go there, and Ferb always had the right thing in mind for him… 

…but if the right thing involved Candace remaining hurt, was it really so right after all?

He snapped the door open, a split-second decision that he instantly regretted. But he’d come this far already, so he stepped into his sister’s room. 

Candace was a mess, to put it frankly, lying on her bed with the covers tossed to the other side and surrounded by drenched handkerchiefs. She barely looked up at his entrance. “Go away, Phineas” she muttered. “I’m not in the mood to talk to you.” 

It was the perfect excuse to leave, but also one he was never going to listen to. “Candace, it’s okay” he whispered, walking over to her but keeping a distance. “I heard you crying and I figured maybe you needed someone to help you.” 

Candace sniffled. “No one can help me now. Not anymore. It’s over, Phineas. You saw what happened, right? Jeremy broke up with me and my life is gone. That’s the whole story.” 

Phineas sighed and sat down at the end of the bed. “It may feel that way right now, but it’s not. Look, Candace, I know I’m not Jeremy, but I am your brother and I want to help you because I love you and I can’t stand to see you like this. So if there is any way I can help you get through all of this, I want to do it.” 

Candace remained silent for a long time, so long that Phineas wondered whether she had either resolved not to say anything at all or if she had fallen back asleep. Finally, though, she cast her eyes up at him. She looked so… so broken, so vulnerable. “It hurts, Phineas” she whimpered. 

Phineas nodded. “I know.” 

His sister snorted. “No you don’t. You might mean well, but you don’t know what I’m going through ‘cause you never had a girlfriend. This pain is one of a kind.” 

Phineas stared at her. “You’re right, I’ve never had a girlfriend” he admitted. “But I can definitely imagine what it’s like to love a person and to have that person reject you. I wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone, and certainly not on you.” 

Candace smiled faintly. “You’re a sweet guy, Phineas. I – I’m sorry about yelling to you earlier. But you shouldn’t bother with trying to comfort me. It… it’s over. I messed up, because I’m stupid and terrible and let the one person I loved so much walk out of my life because of my insecurities and now no one will ever love me like that again and I’m going to end as an old cat lady and… and…” 

She started sobbing unbearably, and Phineas couldn’t do anything but pat her back. “That’s not true” he finally said. 

Candace stared at him, the skepticism prevalent on her face. “Come on. Who’d ever want to accommodate someone as neurotic as me again?” 

Phineas’ heart was screaming at him to go for it, to tell Candace how he felt for her, that he would always be there as a boyfriend and not let her down… but Ferb’s words and implications rang in his ears, opening his mind to a rare moment of frustration. For the first time ever, he wished that he and Candace weren’t related by blood so that he could speak up freely. But since they were, he had to choose his words wisely. He couldn’t let her find out. 

“You’ll find someone” he finally replied. “I’m sure you will. There’s got to be someone out there who loves you. Someone who… might be closer than you think.” Wow, way to go with the clichés there. “And I guarantee you that that person will accept you the way you are, because that’s the way you should be accepted, Candace. Yes, you are neurotic and emotional, but those are traits that make you you, and if they weren’t there your fiery spirit wouldn’t be there either.” He kept quiet after that, wondering if he had already said too much. 

Candace gave him a curious look, but somewhere Phineas could tell she was flattered. Her mind, however, was having none of that. “Are you trying to sound dark and mysterious because you don’t want to tell me that my chances really _are_ hopeless?” Before he could reply, she threw her head back against the pillow. “That’s… that’s sweet, I guess. But I’ll just have to accept it. At least I still have my family. Mom and Dad… and you and Ferb, of course.” 

Phineas felt himself getting closer to losing his composure as he listened to his sister beating herself up. “Of course” he simply mumbled, gently pressing her hand because that was at least _something_ he could do, and he didn’t know if it would transfer the message that he would be there for her to her subconscious but he had to try. 

“Why?” Candace continued. “Why do I always have to be so stupid and so… so blind? I should have seen that what I was doing was only driving him away from me. We were supposed to be together forever and I ruined everything.” She sighed, drying her eyes with a handkerchief. “I loved him. Still do. I… I just can’t believe it’s all over. What am I going to do? How could I ever recover from this?” 

That was it. Phineas just couldn’t stand it anymore. “Look, Candace… what if I… I mean, what if Ferb and I took you somewhere, to go bowling or something like that? It might set your mind at ease.” 

Candace blinked and tore her hand loose. “Are you kidding me? I’ve just had my heart broken because my boyfriend of two years decided our relationship didn’t work out, and you want to take me out _bowling_? Do you really understand that little of how relationships work?” 

Phineas drew back to the foot of the bed, startled by her ferocity but unwilling to leave the room altogether while she was angry with him. “I’m sorry” he awkwardly replied. “I should’ve realized you wouldn’t want to go somewhere soon after all this… but eventually, I think it might be good for you. Please hear me out here. You’re broken over Jeremy, but you can’t lock yourself in your room forever. It’ll only keep hurting if you keep thinking about it. Doing something else – like going bowling with Ferb and me – could serve as a great way to set your mind at ease again. It wouldn’t be a matter of going there tonight, of course. I’m not stupid, Candace – I can see how much it still hurts. But maybe we could go tomorrow night, or perhaps the night after that. We’d only go whenever you feel ready for it.” 

Candace stared back at him, and from the look on her face she gradually began to realize that Phineas really had her best interests at heart. “Maybe that _would_ be good for me” she admitted softly. “I’d have to get back to you on that, though.” 

Phineas nodded. “Of course.” He couldn’t expect her to make such a decision right now, at close to 5 in the morning, only about seven hours after the break-up had happened in the first place. It seemed so much longer to him, and he wasn’t even directly involved. 

His sister shifted underneath the blankets and pulled over to her side, snuggling against the pillow. It seemed like she was making an active effort to get some sleep for the first time in hours. Then she blinked and looked up at him, slowly protruding her hand from below the sheets and taking his. 

“Thanks, Phineas” she said softly. “You and Ferb… you annoy me sometimes, but you’re not bad, you know? I’m so glad you two are my brothers.” 

Phineas smiled, wondering why someone complimenting Ferb along with him kind of irked him. Maybe he already knew the answer. “Thanks, Candace” he replied just as softly. He then tried to pull his hand away, but she wouldn’t let it loose. “Don’t… go…” 

Phineas blinked. “You want me to stay here?” Candace nodded. “Of course, I’ll stay with you. If that helps you sleep better…” 

He didn’t have to say anything else. It was barely a minute later when Candace was sound asleep, with only her soft breathing disturbing the night. Phineas looked at her and smiled. She looked so serene, so beautiful asleep. He wondered if Candace would still be as happy holding his hand if she’d known what he felt about her at that moment. 

Phineas kept looking at his sister for over a quarter until his usual thoughts of inventions and projects showed up. There were some that he was desperate to write down, but he wouldn’t dare leave Candace’s side, so he waited. 

And waited. 

And waited. 

It was finally about nine A.M., past breakfast time, that Candace began to wake up and Phineas let go and slipped out of her room. He was about to head down the stairs when he found his path blocked by his brother. Ferb had a stern, disapproving look on his face, one that made Phineas gulp. “What’s wrong?” 

In response, Ferb simply stuck out his thumb towards Candace’s room. 

Phineas sighed and looked into his brother’s eyes. “Okay, so I didn’t keep our agreement and went over and comforted her” he said, folding his arms. “I couldn’t leave her there all by herself, Ferb. You should have heard her tonight. She’s heartbroken and terrified that she won’t ever find anyone again, and if helping her get through that is doing the wrong thing, then I don’t know what else I could do and I don’t know if I’d even want to do ‘the right thing’. You can’t really expect me to go on with my life and pretend nothing has happened while Candace is in this condition.” 

Ferb blinked, leaving his brother frustrated. “I… I don’t even know what you’re so worried about. I can keep myself under control. It’s not easy, I’ll grant you that, but she still doesn’t know how I feel and I’m not going to tell her as long as she’s still recovering from Jeremy. I even asked her whether she wanted to go bowling with you _and_ me sometime soon. You can keep an eye on me then.” Somehow, Phineas felt compelled not to mention the fact that he hadn’t originally intended to make the invitation extend to Ferb as well. Something told him that Ferb wouldn’t take it well if his brother told him he’d originally meant to take Candace out all by himself. 

Regardless, Ferb still didn’t move and it was beginning to irk his brother – probably puberty again, he told the discomforted voice at the back of his mind. “You still don’t agree? Then what else can I do? I told you I won’t push for a relationship as long as Candace is still moping over Jeremy. I need to comfort her and having a good time with her, no matter if it’s working on one of our projects, going out somewhere, or just being there as a shoulder to cry on, is the only way I know to do that! Seriously, all that could happen is that we grow a little closer as a result, and maybe eventually that could lead to our relationship moving beyond just a sibling one, but that could only happen if Candace is over Jeremy so I don’t see what you’re…” 

He froze as something occurred to him and looked up. His brain was shifting into gear, trying to make sense of the situation and wheeling away from the conclusion he was reaching. Ferb continuing to stare straight ahead didn’t help much, but now that part of him had made the plunge the rest had no problem vocalizing his new insight. “You don’t actually want this, do you?” Ferb blinked uncomprehendingly. “All this time I thought you had my best interests at heart and were just trying to guide me, but now... you don’t really want me to end up together with Candace, do you? You still think it’s too creepy.” 

Ferb frowned but then gave him an apologetic yet uncompromising look. “I don’t want you to take the risk of upsetting Candace’s fragile emotional system and messing up our familial relationships, no.” 

Phineas just kept staring, surprised by the straight answer. “I wouldn’t do that, Ferb” he said softly. “I’m not an idiot! Of course I know she’s still hurt over Jeremy – what do you think I was going to do, ask her out on a date?” Ferb motioned with his left hand between his brother and the room and then motioned between Phineas and himself as well before putting his right hand in front of his left, and Phineas sighed. “No, I haven’t forgotten about the fact that we’re relatives either. I believed you when you told me Candace wouldn’t take me having a crush on her well, and I don’t want to upset her any more than you do. Please, have some confidence in me there.” 

The greenhead folded his arms, although from his expression it was clear that he was pondering Phineas’ words. “Okay, maybe I am inexperienced at having romantic feelings and I might mess things up” Phineas admitted. “I’m not perfect. But primarily, this isn’t even about romantic feelings. It’s about helping Candace out, about being there and supporting our sister because she’s hurt and she _can’t go on like this_ , Ferb. If you don’t agree with me doing that, well...” He left the end of the sentence open. It wasn’t like he needed to clarify. 

Ferb stared long and insistently at his brother before finally nodding. He gave Phineas a small smile and a pat on the back. “Be careful” were his last words as he headed down the stairs. Phineas stared after him, smiled and began to follow him down. 

He would have his chance to console his sister and make things right for Candace. His own feelings wouldn’t matter in the whole process, though. Ferb was right – this was the worst moment for Candace to find out and have a whole new emotional overload dumped on her. He would just have to be extraordinarily careful. Starting tomorrow night at the bowling alley, but continuing throughout the next week. 

Could he pull that off? Phineas knew he wasn’t the best at coping with other people’s feelings, certainly not when he also needed to keep secrets from those people. It was going to be difficult to ride the narrow tightrope between being a helpful brother and a hopeful crusher. For now, he was swinging towards the former, his concern for his sister’s wellbeing overriding all his other feelings. He wasn’t sure if he could keep that up, though. 

He wasn’t sure about it, but he’d just have to do it. 

For Candace’s sake. 

Right now, that was the only thing left that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's wondering, the idea of going bowling being Phineas' first thought of going out after Candace's break-up is a deliberate Gravity Falls reference. At least Phineas thought this through a little better than Dipper, even if that doesn't stop Candace from initially being angry at him for it. There's nothing wrong with the idea, he just needed to be a bit more sensitive in bringing it up.


	13. “Let’s procure the sap for Phineas!” “Yay, Phineas!” “Oh, and Ferb, too!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Isabella and the Fireside Girls, "Isabella and the Temple of Sap". 
> 
> New chapter. It's not the best, but like I said the situation will definitely get more intense next time around. The stuff with Gretchen in this chapter is obviously a reference to the fact that some Phinbella shippers apparently ship Ferb and her together in a pair-the-spares way. I mean, I definitely understand the principle of wanting to pair off characters that could potentially be shipped with members of your main couple otherwise to remove them as a 'threat', both in- and out-of-universe, but does that mean you've got to make one of the main characters of the show get together with one of the minor characters? I mean, I like Ferbnessa. I understand Ferbnessa. I respect Ferbnessa. Feretchen, on the other hand, is just 'meh'. 
> 
> But enough about that, since that ship obviously won't be playing a major part in the story and even in this chapter it's just a catalyst to get Isabella thinking. We see Isabella is starting to be distanced from what is truly going on in the Flynn-Fletcher household (as she already has to some extent by not knowing about Phineas' crush on Candace) which will eventually become... problematic in the times that follow. For now, please read and review!

The end of autumn vacation once again brought an end to the dreams of Isabella Garcia-Shapiro. Even invention-wise the end of the holiday had been a bummer, with Phineas and Ferb’s platypus-transformer which looked better on paper than in practice. Sure, Isabella wryly thought to herself, she’d gotten to see Phineas without clothes on… but given his platypus fur that hadn’t made a difference, and he had been focused on other things anyway. Finding out where Perry went was his primary target that Sunday, and Perry, it turned out, didn’t go anywhere. They were able to talk to him, but apparently platypuses were a lot like Ferb in that they barely said anything. Just the occasional ‘yes’ and ‘no’ as answers, which made even Phineas wary of asking more questions. And after about an hour, when they had given up on finding out anything, they only turned away from Perry for a few seconds and it was long enough for him to vanish from their sights once more.

It was a bad day in terms of them not being able to do what they wanted (although Phineas was right, having been platypuses was an interesting experience in its own right) and for Isabella it was just a bad week in general because again, she had made no progress at all on the Phineas situation. She tried to convince herself that befriending Ferb also equaled progress since it provided her with access to someone who could tell her how to charm Phineas, but she had a hard time believing herself on that. Not that she got to talk to either of the Flynn-Fletcher boys on Sunday anyway, because by the end of the day they were distracted by something they didn’t clarify. And come to think of it, where had Candace been all day?

The first time Isabella found out about what had happened between Candace and Jeremy was Monday morning at middle school, where rumors were flying around widely. Sure, Candace herself was a high schooler, but she remained the sister of the famous Phineas and Ferb and that meant that the gossip soon spread even among middle school teens. Isabella heard the news from Stacy’s sister Ginger, which meant that as much as it stunned her, she didn’t question its reliability for an instant.

The news left her with an uncomfortable feeling, for more reasons than one. Not only did Isabella like Candace as the big sister she never had and did she consider Jeremy a nice guy, there were also the implications for her own romantic future. If such an ostensibly perfect couple as Candace and Jeremy had been could break up, what would that mean for her future with Phineas? Isabella tried to imagine what it would be like to date Phineas and have an argument with him the way Jeremy had had one with Candace. Sure, maybe Phineas wouldn’t continuously be distracted from dates to bust siblings, but he was an inventor whose passion for creating things often meant he wouldn’t give her the time of day. She had presumed that phase would end when he’d finally realize they were meant for each other, but what if it never did?

It was a matter that greatly concerned her, and thus one of the first things Isabella did that Monday afternoon after school ended was to call Ferb to talk about it. Only she didn’t have his number, which meant that she had to call Phineas first and ask it. True to form, Phineas didn’t question what she needed the phone number for and happily provided it to his friend. Isabella blushed whenever she thought of his kindness.

Having a phone conversation with Ferb was really strange, mostly because there was not much conversing going on. Ferb occasionally replied, but usually remained silent as Isabella ranted about her fears and speculated what might happen next. She spoke to him about the possibility of Phineas never realizing how she felt for him, or the things that could drive the two of them apart, or what exactly he was going to do to help Candace out, starting with the bowling night that evening. Isabella even offered her own assistance in the project, but Ferb politely declined that. Still, it was good to talk to someone who provided a listening ear and who actually _got_ what she was saying.

The comparison between Candace and Jeremy on one hand and her and Phineas on the other was enough to keep Isabella awake at night, and it ensured her continued interest in whatever the Flynn-Fletchers were doing throughout the week. That was also how she heard about what had happened between Ferb and Vanessa. Isabella realized not without some guilt that she’d never really pondered how that affair had ended and resolved to make it up to the quieter brother by coming over on Wednesday afternoon and only focusing on him rather than on Phineas. Not that she could have focused on Phineas if she wanted to, because he had asked Candace along on a walk through the park which left her sitting on a park bench and crying on his shoulder halfway through because of all the Jeremy memories it brought back. Meanwhile Isabella had a good time at Ferb’s, talking about Phineas but also just playing cards and watching TV. It was surprising how well she was able to get Ferb if she put in some effort, and how much deeper the British boy was than he at first seemed to be.

Ironically, although Isabella intended to spend more time with Phineas that week to prevent their relationship (which wasn’t there yet but darn it it was going to _be there someday!_ ) from getting out of control the way Candace and Jeremy’s had, she actually wound up spending _less_ time with him. Every occasion she went over, it seemed like he was busy, and after a while she simply resorted to calling him whether they could hang out instead, which left her with even more rejections. Even now, Isabella knew Phineas wasn’t intentionally shutting her out, but it just left her more and more worried. And then that scared her even more because that was exactly how Candace had freaked out over Jeremy and ended that relationship, which ironically increased the concern she felt even further. It felt like a situation rapidly spiraling out of control.

Determined not to end up the same way as Candace, by Friday Isabella resolved that the only way to ensure her relationship with Phineas remained stable was not to give it the chance to change, which meant not spending time with either Phineas or Ferb at all. Over the next week she therefore tried to drown herself in schoolwork and her activities as a Fireside Girl instead, but she couldn’t stay away from the Flynn-Fletcher home forever. Eventually, those two boys caught up with her again, even if it was in the way she’d least expected it.

It was Wednesday, Isabella had just tied up a meeting at the Fireside Girl Lodge and was about to head home when she noticed Gretchen was still there. The girl looked nervous for some reason, which startled Isabella because she was usually one of the calmest members of their troop. “Is something wrong, Gretchen?”

Gretchen shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s just…” She shiftily glanced sideways to ensure they were alone. “Can I tell you a secret, chief?”

Isabella frowned but sat down anyway. “Of course.”

Gretchen nodded and sat down opposite her. “You talked to us earlier this meeting about how Ferb had given up on Vanessa” she said. “And ever since that moment, it left me wondering… I’ve always thought Ferb was kinda cute, and if he is single, do you… do you think I could have a shot at going out with him?”

The Fireside Troop Leader blinked, surprised. Of all matters Gretchen could’ve wanted to discuss with her, boys were probably fairly high up the list, but that list wouldn’t have covered the older Flynn-Fletcher boy. Gretchen had a crush on Ferb? Well, it wasn’t a big crush from what little she had just heard, but even so… the thought of one of her Fireside Girls being attracted to one of her male best friends was weird. It even made her feel slightly uncomfortable – which was only natural, she supposed, because she was the only one of the troop who regularly hung out with Phineas and Ferb. They were a close-knit team, so another member of her scout group having feelings for one of the boys… okay, so it wasn’t Phineas. But somehow it still felt awkward. Isabella felt that Ferb was hers, too.

Like a good friend, though, she nevertheless tried to put those thoughts aside as Gretchen gazed up at her expectantly. Would Ferb be willing to give Gretchen a chance? Well, he was a nice guy, so that was a plus. And from how he’d described his approach to dating to her, Isabella had no doubt he would be a good boyfriend. Charming, handsome, funny… a good listener, patient, sweet, deep, brilliant…

Gretchen clearing her throat got Isabella back to the land of the living. She blushed, embarrassed. Here Gretchen had opened up her heart to her best friend and Isabella wasn’t reacting at all. “I don’t know, Gretch” she admitted. “Ferb is a nice guy, so even if he doesn’t like you back he would still be kind about it. But I don’t know if he would actually go for you romantically. I guess I still don’t know Ferb that well yet.” She reflected on the conversations she’d had with the green haired boy over the past weeks. “It’s stupid, really, because I’ve known him for years and I’ve been regularly talking to him for weeks now, but I still don’t have a grip on understanding his personality. Maybe I should try to find out more.”

Her small friend nodded. “So… yes or no? Do you think I should go for it?”

Again, Isabella felt a strange feeling at the back of her skull, but she ignored it. “I’d say go for it” she said smiling. “You’ve got a ‘no’. Maybe you’ll get a ‘yes’.”

The other girl reflected on that, then smiled at her. “You’re right. Better to try right away than to keep postponing it. I wouldn’t want to have to flirt under the radar all the time and hope he notices me one day, like you do with Phineas.”

Isabella tried to take her friend’s tease in stride, but Gretchen’s words nevertheless made her uncomfortable. “Yeah, maybe you’re right” she admitted. “Still, this is a large part of my life I’ve got tied up in this. I could try to ask him to be my boyfriend outright, but…” She shrugged uncertainly. “I don’t know why I can’t do it, maybe I think too much about it, or I just have the feeling that he should have figured it out on his own. But just the thought of telling Phineas how I feel makes my stomach tie up.”

Gretchen frowned. “Are you afraid that he’ll reject you?” she wondered. “I thought you were sure Phineas loved you, and the only reason he didn’t realize that was because of his obliviousness to romance.”

Isabella’s face turned red. “I – I _am_ sure of that!” she exclaimed. “I – he built a haunted house for me in his backyard, and he called me cute when we went off to fight that alien Mitch, and sure, those are things he would have done for other friends as well, and he’s done bigger stuff for Ferb or for Candace, but… he has to like me! I’m not unlikable, right? Why wouldn’t he… I mean, I can’t imagine…” She shut her eyes, dazed.

Gretchen stared at her. “Chief, are you…”

“I’m sweating through my eyes” Isabella replied. “And it’s not even an excuse this time!” She took a moment to wipe the fluids off her face where her nervous perspiration had made them appear in various places, and looked back at her friend. “I… I’m going home. Good luck with Ferb.” She walked away from the lodge, Gretchen looking after her with a concerned expression on her face.

Seriously, why wasn’t she brave enough to ask Phineas out? Was she really that terrified that he’d say no? And if she was, if she even took that into consideration… why was she still so sure that they would end up together?

Maybe she really was getting to Candace-levels of crazy now.

_All right, Isabella, no panic. Just… just go home and make your math homework. You hate it, but at least it’ll get you distracted. I bet Baljeet does that all the time… why on earth is he so fond of math, of all things? How is that understandable? Ah, there, you see! You’re thinking about Baljeet now. Keep that up. Just keep your thoughts on that subject or on math or on any subject at all…_

_…as long as they are kept away from Phineas and Ferb._

Isabella’s resolution lasted only the better half of the afternoon, until she got a disappointed call from Gretchen that evening. “He… he said no” the redhead said softly. “He said he was sorry and he did appreciate me as a friend, but that it wouldn’t be fair to take me out while he had no romantic feelings for me and while his mind was focused on someone else.”

Isabella had listened to her friend’s tale with an odd mixture of sympathy and relief until the last part, at which her ears perked up. “Wait, you said his mind was focused on someone else?” she repeated. “Does that mean he has a crush on someone – someone besides Vanessa, I mean – or am I reading too much into it?”

Gretchen remained quiet for an awkwardly long time. “I don’t know” she admitted. “You should know, shouldn’t you? You have been confiding in him for weeks now… hasn’t he told you anything in return?”

Isabella shook her head, then realized that was fairly pointless on the phone. “No, he hasn’t” she lamented. “Ferb is one of the most secretive people I know. Maybe he’d tell me if I really asked him, but… to be honest, I don’t get what’s been going on at their place the last few days anyway. Phineas is paying a lot of attention to Candace, which I understand because she is his sister and all, but it somehow feels weird that he’s focused on her every day. Maybe that’s just because I’m an only child and I don’t understand sibling relationships, but Ferb isn’t behaving that way. I guess he’s not as close to Candace as Phineas is, but…” She shrugged. “I don’t know. There’s something up and Ferb is being evasive about it. I can’t seem to figure out what he’s thinking and it’s driving me nuts.”

Gretchen chuckled. “Well, at least now you have a different Flynn-Fletcher brother driving you crazy.”

Isabella groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

“I won’t” Gretchen promised. “Hey, maybe you could call Phineas and ask him what’s up with Ferb? It is his brother, he has to know. And Phineas isn’t nearly as secretive as Ferb is.”

Isabella nodded. “Point. But that idea feels really weird. I guess it’s just the same thing as talking to Ferb about Phineas, but…” She blinked. “I’ll think about it, okay? And if he doesn’t have anything to say, maybe I should just put this behind me.”

“That does sound sensible” Gretchen agreed. “Good night, Isabella.”

“Good night, Gretchen” Isabella replied, cutting off the connection and putting her phone down next to her. She stared at it for a few seconds, then picked it back up and called Phineas’ number. _Here goes nothing._

It took only a few seconds before Phineas answered the call. “Oh hey, Izzy” the boy cheerfully greeted her. “How are you?”

Isabella smiled. “I’m fine. How are you?”

“Still pretty great” Phineas told her. “Even though I suppose with the Candace situation and all, things could have been better. What did you want to speak to me about? Oh, did you come up with an idea for Saturday’s invention? I haven’t got anything yet but I’d love some ideas if you can come up with anything. Maybe something involving deep space again?”

“That sounds great, Phineas” Isabella replied, her worries eased by Phineas’ casual optimism. “But I didn’t call you to ask about inventing. Did you know Gretchen came by your house earlier today to ask your brother out?”

“No, I don’t think I’ve seen her” Phineas replied. “I’ve been spending much of the day trying to entertain Candace, and doing homework of course. Where did she ask him out to? The mini golf course? The library? Oh, it’s the science fair on the other end of town, isn’t it? Man, Ferb gets to go to all the cool stuff! He didn’t even ask if I wanted to come! I guess maybe they’re not going until tomorrow and he just hasn’t gotten around to asking me yet…”

Isabella remained silent for a few seconds. “Phineas, you do know what asking someone out _means_ , don’t you?”

Phineas in turn remained quiet for a few moments as well. “Well, I guess you mean Gretchen asked Ferb to come along with her to some public event” he replied. “That’s what asking someone out is, isn’t it? I mean, it sounds awfully straightforward to me, but if you don’t agree…”

Seriously, why had she expected anything else? “I meant she asked him out on a date” Isabella replied rolling her eyes, and then to be sure he got it, she added: “That’s romance, Phineas.”

“Whoa, wait, what?” Phineas replied, and even though she couldn’t see him Isabella could imagine the shocked look on his face. “Gretchen asked Ferb on a date? She wants to date him?”

“He said no” Isabella replied, deciding to cut off Phineas’ discomfort before it got too much. She could hear a sigh of at least parts relief on the other end. “You didn’t know about that?”

“No… I mean…” Phineas muttered. “I know there are a lot of girls who like Ferb, and he did say he had had to give up on being with Vanessa, but I didn’t expect anyone to come over and ask him out. I don’t think Gretchen is really his type, anyway, so from that point it’s a good thing he said no, but what do I know about those things… so that was what you wanted to call me about? If I knew that Gretchen had asked Ferb on a date?”

“Well, partly” Isabella said. “There’s also the fact that Ferb has been behaving a bit odd and secretive lately about the stuff that’s going on at your house…”

“He has, has he?” Phineas replied, his voice wavering. “Well, I don’t know what that would be about, and I really don’t think I’m the best person to ask, given that it is about Ferb, so you could probably ask Ferb himself and such…”

“Relax, Phineas” Isabella replied, wondering what was making her crush so nervous all of a sudden. “I just didn’t want to confront him and that’s why I was asking you. But if you don’t know anything about it…” She cleared her throat, remembering Gretchens words about not being courageous enough to confront Phineas head-on. “Maybe we could talk some more about it later? We could, I don’t know, go out some time?”

Considering she’d just explicitly equated ‘going out’ with ‘dating’ about a minute ago, Phineas should be able to get it. But because he was Phineas Flynn, he didn’t, or at least she got no indication he picked up on her hint. “Ordinarily, I’d be all for that” he replied. “But I have a really busy schedule these days. There’s school, of course, and I do have to make sure Candace is all right. Tomorrow night we’re playing Skiddley Whiffers, and Friday night she’s going to show me that bar with the dance floor over in Adjacent that she and Jeremy used to frequent, you know, Martella’s. But maybe Saturday would work? Although I suppose Ferb and I are building our project of the week on Saturday…”

Isabella frowned. “Phineas, don’t you think you’re taking this a little too far? I get that you’re trying to comfort Candace and I really appreciate that, but you can’t spend all your time on your sister forever. Eventually you’re gonna have to let go.” Right?

There was a sigh at the other end. “I know, Isabella” Phineas admitted. “But I can’t let go, not yet anyway. I think we’ve made real progress in getting Candace back into an optimistic mood and it would be a shame to cut it all off now. She did lose her boyfriend – it takes a lot of time to get over that, you know.” Isabella rolled her eyes at the fact that she was getting a romance lesson from _Phineas_ , of all people. “And we’ve had an amazing time together! Did I already tell you sometime this week about how we went to the pool last Saturday?”

“No, you didn’t” Isabella replied. “I haven’t been over to your house for the past days, remember? Didn’t you notice my absence?” It irked that apparently he hadn’t missed her at all. What if he didn’t care for her after all…

“Oh, no, I noticed” Phineas reassured her. “You told me you needed some time out, didn’t you? And since you said you’d come back eventually, I decided not to think any more about it. I guess I presumed you were there just now because you are always there. You’ll be there on Saturday, won’t you? That’s the way it should be – six friends on the adventure of a lifetime! Or more accurately ‘of a day’, but you get the gist.”

“Right” Isabella gritted out sullenly. “Friends.”

“Exactly! But I was going to tell you about what happened Saturday, wasn’t I?” He awkwardly chuckled to himself. “So after the bowling night and the visit to that big shopping center downstate – I don’t know what Candace likes about the place – I finally decided to ask her to go swimming with me this time, and she agreed, so we went to the pool together. We had a lot of fun; we engaged in swimming races across the deeper pool, we relaxed in the Jacuzzis, and we just talked about life in general. Candace had decided to wear the bathing suit we made for her a few weeks ago – remember that day? – and she looked… she was… I mean, she…” There was an abnormally long pause at the other end. “Anyhow, we did eventually hit a snag when I proposed riding the water slides with her and she didn’t want to do it because of her fear of heights. I tried to insist, but since she was really reluctant I let it go. That was too bad. But in the end, we were in there for three hours and it was just so much fun! Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you, we also bought French fries at the end at a snack stand outside, and Candace was great at bargaining down the price. I hadn’t even noticed 10 dollars for a meal was overpriced. Ah well, what do you know.”

“Indeed” Isabella said, feeling vaguely uncomfortable about Phineas’ happiness regarding spending time with someone else, even if it was just his sister. “I’ve got to go now, though. Maybe we could talk some more if I came over on Saturday?”

“Sounds like a plan!” Phineas replied cheerfully. “See you then, Isabella!”

He was so optimistic, and Isabella wished she was able to match it. “See you then, Phineas.” She cut off the connection, put her phone back down and sighed. Although she still had no clue what was going on, she knew she had a bad feeling about a lot of it. And this whole business with Ferb was just plain weird…

For the first time in many years, Isabella wished things would just go back to normal again.


	14. "Hey, this romance stuff was fun. We should do it more often."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Phineas, "That Sinking Feeling". 
> 
> This chapter has Phineas and Candace going out together, and there's a cliffhanger at the end. The said ending may be cause for some confusion but that's simply because I couldn't fit an explanation of what was happening into the style in which I wrote that part. It'll all be explained in the next chapter. But I think it's fair to say that after this chapter, Phineas and Candace's relationship will seriously begin to change.
> 
> Oh, and the idea of building a machine to pick what kind of education or job Phineas wants to go to isn't an Act Your Age reference, as I originally wrote that part of the scene shortly before the episode came out.

It had all gone so fast, Phineas Flynn thought as he looked at his tuxedo in the mirror. Just two weeks ago, he hadn’t known what to do at the sight of Candace crying. Right now, he was about to go to a dance floor with one of the most beautiful young women he knew.

His sister.

Certainly, he and Candace had gotten off to a rough start. Bowling hadn’t been the best experience ever, despite Phineas constantly trying to transfer some of the joy he was experiencing to her. Ferb had suggested letting Candace win, but Phineas had rejected that idea – certainly, he loved Candace and wanted her to feel good, but deliberately sabotaging his own chances and giving her an unfair win felt like one step over the line. Instead, he eventually resorted to stepping out of the game and giving Candace advice on how to beat Ferb, which she finally did after a long row of games. It was a long and exhausting night, but the smile on his sister’s face by the end was worth every minute of it.

The remainder of the week was filled with events like that, big and small, at home and outside, all with the common theme of him and Candace bonding and getting Candace out of the slump she was right back in every time something reminded her of Jeremy. The swimming pool was probably one of his strongest efforts. Like he had told Isabella, they had had a lot of fun together, even if there was one moment which would stick with him for a long while – seeing Candace come out of her changing closet.

Phineas had always thought his sister was pretty, and he now knew it was a sign of his crush on her. But this was the first time he’d ever felt and recognized physical attraction to Candace. There was something about her smooth, curvy figure that made him want to stare at her for hours and take notes or maybe not take notes because that was a little crazy but he didn’t know what else to do? Either way, though, seeing her like that had caught him off balance, and part of the reason he enjoyed the day so much was that he spent a lot of it trying to explore these new thoughts and feelings for the first time. Fortunately, it didn’t look like Candace noticed any of it.

But where all those nights had been fun, they had in the end just been harmless sibling entertainment. Tonight was the closest thing he would probably ever have to a date with Candace, and even better, it was at her suggestion too. Candace had proposed Martella’s Bar in Adjacent as a place to go next, a bar she’d often visited with Jeremy when they were still dating and wanted to introduce her brother to. Somehow, the way she looked in her dress – a light blue piece of clothing that matched the shade of her eyes – had helped a lot in winning him over to the plan. She was so beautiful. Her smile… her orange hair… her slim figure… how had he never truly noticed that before? Phineas didn’t know, but he did know he would never forget it again.

Ferb, of course, had been wary of the plan, but Phineas had brushed off his brother’s concerns for the simple reason that every other event of the past two weeks had proceeded like clockwork. And thus after waiting pointlessly throughout the day, by around 8 PM they were finally on their way towards Adjacent. Since Phineas didn’t have a driver’s license and the Nymph was still stuck with the speed controller – the past weeks hadn’t exactly restored their parents’ faith in Candace’s sense of responsibility – they had gone by bus, and after a smooth ride they got to their neighboring city. Candace easily navigated her way through the familiar streets, and before he knew it Phineas was entering his sister’s favorite place to enjoy the nightlife.

The bar was… mostly what he had expected. Martella’s Bar was one of the larger public places in the Tri-State Area, large enough to accommodate a dance floor where various people were clearly having a good time. Phineas scanned them thoroughly, his mind automatically going toward incorporating something like this in one of his projects but his heart not fully there today. He heard a whistle, blushed slightly and joined his sister at the bar.

Even if Phineas knew Candace was recovering, he still noticed a certain solemnity on her face as she ordered them a soda. It made him feel that if he didn’t do anything, she could end up in her own world and mope for much of the evening over her drink. He had to start an upbeat conversation somehow. Even if they were just talking about casual things, his sister would sense that he was there with her and that should prevent her from being all gloomy. At least, that was the theory.

“So, this is where you always went to when you wanted to dance?” Phineas thus spoke up. “I can see why you like it here. The place looks comfortable, the people appear friendly and the music is nice.”

“Yeah, this was one of Jeremy and my favorite spots to hang out” Candace admitted. She looked around. “It’s so strange to be here without him. I would have thought being here would end up making me feel sad, but it isn’t… not in the way I expected, at least. There’s a little melancholy and depression, but nothing beyond that.” She sighed. “Maybe I’m getting over him. It had to happen eventually… that acceptance that I’m not likely to ever get a boyfriend again.”

Phineas frowned at his sister. “Come on, Candace, don’t beat yourself up tonight. Let’s… let’s just enjoy the evening, okay?”

Candace looked at him for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. I should probably just relax.” She frowned. “You know, it surprises me that _you’re_ actually trying to enjoy the evening. I would have thought you would have taken inspiration from something here and it would have made you think of an idea for an invention.”

Phineas blushed. “Hey, tonight is all about helping you cope. So, why don’t you tell me some more about this bar. Why do you like it so much?”

Candace smiled. “Many reasons. The atmosphere, the proximity to home… it’s just close enough to get to easily but distant enough that Jeremy and I wouldn’t bump into people we knew all the time and could just focus on each other.” She sighed wistfully. “But if I had to pick one reason in particular, I’d go for the music. It’s so soft and comfortable – not so loud that you can’t have a conversation over it, but loud enough for Jeremy and me to be able to dance to it way back when.” Her expression got sour for a moment, but Phineas patting her on the back soon brought her smile back. “And I just like many of the songs.”

Phineas nodded, recognizing the new melody that was echoing through the room. “I see what you mean.”

His sister frowned, then blinked as she listened carefully and got what Phineas had already noticed. “Oh, come on! Gitchee Gitchee Goo? Seriously?”

“Well, it was one of the most popular songs we ever made” Phineas replied. “I hear it as elevator music all over the place these days. And you like it as well, don’t you? I mean, you pretty much have to, you were one of the lead singers…”

“Yeah, I guess so” Candace said, taking a sip from her soda. “I wonder why Mom never noticed that, though. It’s not like we don’t have a radio or anything. But no, even though everyone in town knows what you get up to… I mean, what you guys do, she doesn’t have a clue. It really gets frustrating after a while, you know.”

“I can imagine” Phineas agreed. “I wish I could tell you we could do something about it, but I think we’ve pretty much tried everything by now.”

“Yeah, I suppose so” Candace agreed, shifting slightly towards him on her seat. “I guess that’s just life, huh? The same thing every day, failure after failure. And now Jeremy’s break-up on top of that… you’d think it would affect me more. And yet, here I am, reasonably content, sitting in Martella’s Bar. What kind of name even is that, ‘Martella’? I mean, is it a first name or a last name?”

“Probably a last name” Phineas figured. “It might be a first name, though. Maybe the owner’s parents were named Martin and Isabella and they decided to fuse the names?”

Candace snorted. “That sounds crazy enough to work. But then you could apply that to everyone around – in that case, maybe your father’s name would have been… I don’t know, Aias? And your mother’s name Phini?” Phineas gave her a look. “Hey, they’re real names! Check the name-a-day calendar Jeremy gave me if you don’t believe me!” Apparently not noticing the fact that she had managed to utter her ex-boyfriend’s name without any trouble, Candace proceeded. “Then in that scenario, we couldn’t have been siblings, because my mother’s name would have to be something like ‘Grace’… and my Dad would be…”

“…Candon?” Phineas suggested.

“Phineas, I’m pretty sure Candon really isn’t a name.”

“It might be if he in turn was the son of Carla and Brandon.”

It took a moment before she got it, but then Candace burst out laughing. “That’s a good point” she agreed between chuckles. “I – I hadn’t thought of that, but yeah, that makes sense.”

Phineas grinned, just wholeheartedly glad to see her smile again. Even if the actual joke hadn’t been all that funny, it appeared that it had given Candace the stress relief she needed – she was still holding up her soda, but the expression from earlier where her brother still half expected her to use it to drink away her sorrows was gone. Now, she had a genuine smile on her face as she leaned back against the counter, looked around the bar and the dance floor and apparently enjoyed the scene.

Phineas also leaned back against the counter, looked around the bar and the dance floor and enjoyed – her.

Man, he really had it bad now.

“You know,” Candace then mused, “just a week ago I would’ve never expected to be enjoying going somewhere again without Jeremy.” She still cringed a little at his name, but not nearly as much as before. “And it’s all just due to taking you along instead.”

Phineas’ heart skipped a beat at that part. His sister had just – perhaps without realizing it, and admittedly only indirectly – compared him to Jeremy! Sure, she’d thought it was strange she was having a good time with him, but hey – it was still progress!

The word made him feel uneasy immediately after he thought it. Progress? Progress with what? Getting Candace to date him? Ferb had told him that that probably wasn’t feasible, but…

He had to try. As much as he knew he was supposed to, Phineas couldn’t give up on his sister. Spending time with her now was making him feel so happy… he couldn’t just blow every chance of ever being with Candace romantically into the wind. But unless he wanted to live a lie forever, that meant that one day he was going to have to be open with her. And that was another thing Ferb had explicitly recommended against.

Phineas was barely aware that he had been quiet for a disproportionate amount of time until Candace smiled at him, having apparently misinterpreted his silence for something else. “I meant it, Phineas. You’re the best at cheering people up. You should become a professional entertainer.” 

Her brother smiled and mentally filed the idea under the already gargantuan list of job choices he’d made – there were so many amazing things to do, he couldn’t just pick one! Maybe they could build a machine to help them select the best fit education and job? Now there was an idea. Phineas wished Ferb was with him so that they could talk it over.

It was funny, though, how quickly that wish dissipated the moment he looked at Candace again.

“It’s no big deal” he finally replied casually. “I’m enjoying being here too.”

“In what way?” Candace asked.

Uh-oh. Now he’d talked himself into a corner. Phineas quickly looked around and settled for an explanation that was true enough. “I look at those people out on the dance floor and hope maybe I’ll pick up some tips on how to dance for when – or if – I get a girlfriend.”

He had expected some comment on the unlikelihood of him ever getting a girlfriend, but instead he got a mysterious smile. Phineas looked at his sister, shocked. She – she wasn’t returning his feelings already, was she? He knew he was a bad reader of faces, but this…

“You didn’t really think just sitting and watching would get you anywhere on that, did you?” Candace teased. Phineas shrugged, as his sister slid off her chair. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

Phineas blinked. “W-what?”

“How to dance” she clarified, as if the literal meaning of her words was what he had been confused about. “You want pointers on how to dance, I’ve got some experience, and I want to pay you back for hanging out with me when I needed it – I know there’s plenty of stuff going on in your life too. Just think of me as the dancing equivalent of a rag doll.”

Just a simple dance instruction then. That was what she was going for. It sounded platonic enough. Phineas nodded and walked to the dance floor with his sister.

The song up was a modern, lively tune, and Candace casually started dancing to the beat of the music. As he had done for most of his life, Phineas followed her example. It was riveting, and he quickly forgot all the stress and concern. It was hard to keep inter-relational complexities in mind when you were trying not to laugh at your own clumsiness. At one point he had to clasp onto both of Candace’s arms just to remain upright – fortunately, he didn’t think she really noticed. Heck, he _himself_ barely did.

And then, the music changed to a different number, a slow song. Candace stiffened. “That’s – that’s our song” she whispered. “Jeremy and I, we… we used to dance to this all the time… before…”

Phineas was waiting patiently for more, but Candace didn’t say anything else, too caught up in her memories to move. Part of him wanted to let go of her, but as he tried that he got a barely perceptible squeeze in his arm telling him to stay put. Of course, staying there to comfort her and dancing with her weren’t the same, so… he timidly looked up. “How do you do this one?”

For a moment he didn’t get a reaction – then she pressed him close and wrapped her arms around him. “Just go back and forth” she mumbled dully, most of her mind still clearly elsewhere. “And… slowly…”

Phineas wrapped his arms around her and did as she asked, part of him still unable to believe this was really happening. After days of Ferb lecturing him how far-fetched it was, he had gradually allowed himself to be convinced that it was all a pipe dream. But today it was real.

He was dancing.                         

To a slow song.

With _Candace_.

It was only too bad that it felt like his heart was beating three times as loud and as fast as the music – that really spoiled the mood.

Gradually, Candace unfroze. She didn’t let go of her brother, though. Instead, she smiled and remained focused on the music, although she still sent Phineas enough glances to make him certain she knew what she was doing. Perhaps not its implications, but she knew they were dancing.

It felt… magical. That was the only word he could find for it. He didn’t want it to end. His feet weren’t being nearly as clumsy anymore as they were before – it was as if _they_ didn’t want this to end. And yet, Phineas clearly noticed the song _was_ coming to an end, and the other couples – a blush spread across his cheek as he thought that – were kissing. Then he noticed his own face, too, was awfully close to Candace’s. Close enough for him to feel her breath, to smell her perfume, to see her lips from up-close…

Phineas considered the matter in his mind. He hadn’t ever kissed a girl before – excluding his mom’s good night kisses – and even keeping in mind what he’d told Candace earlier, he wouldn’t know who to be with if not with her. It was tempting. Too tempting.

Ferb’s warning came to mind. Candace would freak out. She would be disgusted, at least at first. He was probably right. Ferb was always right. But this time… Phineas knew he might never have the chance to get so close again.

The song was definitely ending now. Phineas glimpsed Candace’s eyes – she didn’t appear to suspect anything, making him feel guilty… but it would only be a chaste kiss. A chance. Now or never. He took a deep breath, preparing to seize his window of opportunity.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

And just like that, the window slammed shut.


	15. “Gee, Candace, isn't this a lot of fuss to make over a date?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Phineas, "Dude, We're Getting The Band Back Together!" 
> 
> Okay, so this quote is kind of humorous which clashes with the intention of the chapter, but I just couldn’t find anything to use and then I came across this line in the Wiki transcript of ‘Dude, We’re Getting The Band Back Together!’ (a fairly important early Phindace episode in my opinion) and realized how well it would fit if you just interpreted the word ‘date’ in an entirely different way… 
> 
> I don’t know, it just sounded funny to me. It made me chuckle, but if it doesn’t do the same for you that’s okay. But by this point, the characters really could use a laugh. 
> 
> Back to business, this chapter is getting intense. Phineas has been maneuvered into a very uncomfortable position, both by the start of the chapter as well as by the end, and it's going to be incredibly hard for him to resolve all this. Cliffhanger at the end because I like cliffhangers, but because I don't want to be that mean I fully intend to upload a second chapter by the end of the weekend. In the meantime, please review!

Although she didn’t generally say so lightly, Candace had to admit that tonight had thus far been great.

Phineas really hadn’t been kidding when he’d said he would do everything to cheer her up – she could barely keep track of everything he had done over the past weeks. They had gone bowling, had dinner, had long and elaborate conversations, and now there was this visit to Martella’s. She even felt a little guilty that he was doing all of that just to make his sister happy, but he didn’t seem to be perturbed. Perhaps he was truly getting something out of it for himself as well.

Candace tried hard to pay more attention to her brother this time around rather than burden him with her own problems. He didn’t deserve that. Phineas was more than just an annoying kid who built impossible contraptions – sure, he still had a lot of that, but he had matured over the years and maybe it was time she recognized that and started treating him according to his real age. He was thirteen now, not three. And intellectually, he might even be a little older than that.

Therefore, she’d asked the question about what he got out of this, and she had been rewarded by his unexpected – but incredibly amusing – remark about learning to dance just in case he ever got a girlfriend. It should have been shocking, since she’d never really heard Phineas express an interest in the opposite sex before, but… it was just too funny how oblivious he _still_ was. Despite the fact that her brother was one of the smartest people she knew, he had absolutely no idea the girl from across the street had had a crush on him since toddlerhood.

Well, maybe she could bring a change to that. Perhaps if he had some pointers on how to dance and how to handle girls, he would be confident enough to realize his feelings for Isabella – if he had any, of course. If he didn’t, or by any chance liked some other girl, it obviously wouldn’t change a thing in their ever one-sided romantic interaction, but they could cross that barrier when they came to it. At least by that time she’d have steered him into the right direction and wouldn’t need to get involved anymore.

Seeing Phineas dance was undoubtedly funny because he was as eager and enthusiastic as always and yet such an incredible dork at it. Candace almost forgot what she’d originally intended with this because she was laughing so much.

Then the mood suddenly shifted as she noticed _their_ song coming on the radio. The generic song whose name she could never remember (they all had the same names today anyway), but which had played such a significant role in the relationship between her and Jeremy. (In fact, now that she thought of it, she seemed to recall the song actually being _named_ ‘Our Song’, too). It took her back to all the times they’d been on the dance floor together, and she was instantly caught up in reminiscing.

To his credit, Phineas didn’t abandon his sister even then. Instead he danced along with her, both helping the memories flow while at the same time reminding her that there was still someone out there who really cared for her. It touched her. As she vaguely noticed the song coming to an end and the two of them moving closer to each other, she had the fleeting thought that it might be proper to really thank him for all this after the song was over.

Then, the jeers started, and everything changed.

If she was honest with herself, although she clearly heard the words and Phineas turned as red as a beet, Candace didn’t put two and two together until she noticed they really were looking at him. A bunch of guys and girls, having finished dancing but from the bottles in their hands clearly not having finished drinking, who apparently had nothing better to do so they had turned to cheering Phineas on. Telling him… to kiss…

**_…her?_ **

Now it was Candace’s turn to turn bright red – even if the misunderstanding was understandable, in hindsight. “We’re not-” she stammered. “I – I mean…” It should be so obvious, she shouldn’t have to call attention to the fact that Phineas was her little _brother_ , not her _boyfriend_ , how was it possible for people to think that and now her mind was getting messed up and her tongue tied into a twist trying to make sense of it. She turned to Phineas, letting go of him and staring him in the eyes, hoping he was better able to explain than she was, he had always been more gifted with words… but she could expect no help there, for he was also blushing.

Only it was a different _kind_ of blush. Candace noticed he was staring down at his feet, embarrassment on his face as it was on her own – but he didn’t seem quite as taken aback. She couldn’t quite explain how she knew, but as she looked into his eyes she somehow sensed that he wasn’t really all that disturbed by people thinking they were a couple, and although he blushed, it wasn’t shock or embarrassment that was in it.

It was a _guilty_ blush.

And then the floodgates of her memories opened.

She had thought his question about getting a girlfriend earlier tonight was weird, but there had been so many more moments that suddenly seemed to click into a pattern. There was him saying he was enjoying being here too, and all those awkward pauses between the questions she asked throughout the evening. There was the night after her break-up with Jeremy, when she vaguely remembered him coming to comfort her during the middle of the night, telling her how there was someone out there who would love her for who she was, and after all that she never recalled letting go of his hand before she had fallen into a long, dreamless sleep. Then there was his weird behavior over the past weeks, the way he had obsessed over her spending time with him, and she couldn’t even claim it was out of some possessiveness because although it felt annoying she could read into his eyes that he cared, he cared so much more than she could have ever expected…

And then her mind went further back. Mount Rushmore. Gitchee Gitchee Goo. All those times Phineas had helped her try to bust himself. His birthday party two years ago, when he had told her she was the best sister ever. Gitchee Gitchee Goo again. That strange hug on that one Father’s Day. The many times he had made her the unwilling star of his projects. Gitchee Gitchee Goo once more because that couldn’t be mentioned enough times since seriously that had been weird and had never made sense…

…up until now.

And finally there were all those little moments between them, moments that were easily forgotten but now flooded back into her consciousness…

Her mind was rejecting the conclusion everything was pointing toward even as all those moments during their thirteen-year-long-relationship as siblings came rushing in. All those moments when Phineas’ affection for her had been more than just sibling-like, from his first ever successful project long before he would fill entire summers with them – building a robot to help her with her homework when he was four – to the reddish taint that remained on his face right now.

“Candace?” Phineas tried. “Are you… okay?”

She just kept staring at him, unable to formulate a sentence. “You…” she finally stammered. “You don’t… you actually didn’t mind that… they… you… Phineas?”

She uttered his name as a question, as if it should be enough to encompass all those thoughts and feelings that were going through her mind right now. Ordinarily it would never be enough for Phineas Flynn and she’d have to spell it out for him. But now, it appeared an unusual form of sibling telepathy was finally shining through for them. He realized, she could see it on his face, and although it was barely perceptible he nodded.

“Candace,” her brother began, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I felt… I… I wanted…”

He clasped her arm, and his touch sent a shock through Candace’s system as if she had just been stung by a bee. And thus she did the same thing she’d probably do if she was actually stung by a bee.

She snapped her arm loose, and bolted for the exit.

She could barely hear her brother’s cries of surprise and concern as she ran past the small crowd and out of the door. She just kept running all the way back to the bus stop and didn’t pause until she got there. Fortunately – or perhaps unfortunately – the bus was already there, and without thinking she got in. It was only when she sat down in the back that her thoughts on what had just happened really began to catch up with her.

Her brother had a crush on her.

Her little brother, the sweet but annoying kid who was the focus of her summers because of his obnoxious and dangerous projects… had romantic feelings towards her. It was enough to make her feel crazy… well, crazier than normal at least. How was she ever going to cope with this? It was one thing to think of her brother as an individual being who even _had_ romantic feelings, but another altogether to find herself the subject of them.

Candace snorted. Oh, the irony. Just a few years ago, at the height of her busting phase, she would have been positively delighted to see Phineas at last ‘strangled by the red string’, as they said. To have a girl occupy his mind so much that he would stop building annoying inventions all the time and project his mind on… other things. Even later, she had always suspected, perhaps naively, that some particularly charming lady might be able to lure her brother away from his inventions someday.

But never in a million years could she have suspected that it would be her.

She… she had to talk to someone about this. Sitting alone in the back of the bus with nothing for company but the quiet hum of the engine was driving her crazy. It made her mind get into weird places too, like what on earth she was going to say to him once they caught back up with each other because she couldn’t avoid him forever as much as she wanted to pretend that she could. And even as she was taken aback by what she now knew about him she couldn’t help but think of all those things she had experienced over time with Phineas that were _good_ , and then there were the past weeks, when she had had such a nice time with him and recovered from her heartbreak in no time.

He was such a sweet kid… teenager… a nice guy. She’d privately admitted to herself several times before that she didn’t deserve a brother like him, even if most of her personality had a tendency to blatantly ignore that thought and trample over it. Phineas was mature for his age, perhaps not in matters of romance but certainly in issues like friendship and comfort and general intelligence, issues that weren’t technically considered romantic but were nevertheless vital for any such feelings to arise. When she thought about it there were so many ways in which he reminded her of Jeremy, only a Jeremy for whom she didn’t have to pretend to be better than she was because she and Phineas were siblings, he had seen the absolute best and the absolute worst she had to offer and he had unwaveringly loved her throughout and…

Oh no. No, no no no. She was heading right back to that mental conversation she’d had when she was shrunk to his age two years ago and had had that little crush on her brother. But that was a coincidence, right? Just the result of some unfortunate events happening and making her misinterpret a platonic relationship as a romantic one, simply because at the time she had been so worried about her relationship with Jeremy being at risk when he would head to college.

But it _had_ been at risk when he headed to college. And it _had_ shattered. So if one of the conclusions she’d drawn two years ago had been valid, why wouldn’t the other be? Her seeing someone relatable in her li- her brother? A friend, or more than that? He had gotten taller and, dare she say it, handsomer over time. And now that she knew he was more than receptive to such thoughts…

 _Nope nope a coincidence it’s just a coincidence nothing more and you’re being stupid and insane and what do you want, to go out with your own sibling? With Phineas? He’s a kid, he’s your brother, he’s not cute or handsome ‘cause he’s got a freaking **triangle** for a **head** and you have absolutely no reason to want _ any _romantic involvement with him except…_

_…except…_

_…except…_

She needed help. Now.

Candace took out her cell phone and dialed Stacy’s number. After a few seconds, her friend’s voice broke through the quietness around her. “Candace? What’s up?”

“Oh hey, Stacy…” Candace muttered, trying to find a way she could say this without sounding awkward. She didn’t want to tell Stacy about Phineas’ feelings. No matter how close they were, that was just too weird. “I need your advice.”

Stacy chuckled. “You too, huh? That makes two coming to me for help over the past weeks. Can you call my Mom and tell her that?”

Candace blinked. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing. What did you want advice about?”

Candace clutched the phone tighter. “Tonight, I went out to Martella’s Bar with Phineas… I mean, we went there together, you know, as siblings, the way siblings do, because he was just trying to comfort me… and I showed him how to dance… but then something happened, and I learned something about him and we got into an argument about it and I… I stormed out, and I don’t know what I’d say if I see him again and we have to meet back up at one point. What do you say?”

There was a long silence at the other end. “Well…” Stacy finally replied. “I couldn’t say much about it because you didn’t tell me what exactly happened. What did you get into an argument about?”

Candace blushed. “Well, it’s not that I don’t want to tell you, but it’s just… you know… super awkward, like…well… he and I… he did… he felt… I didn’t know… I can’t tell you” she finally concluded, sighing. “It’s just too awkward.”

“It’s okay” Stacy reassured her. “Well… I think you should talk to your brother about it. Just face him head-on and talk it out and be understanding of him and those weird feelings but just politely explain to him why it’s such a bad idea, not that I would know much about that because you didn’t tell me so what do I know, right? Right?”

Stacy’s nervous laughter was strange, but Candace dismissed it because her advice actually sounded useful. “I don’t know if I can do that, Stacy” she admitted. “This is all just so weird, and it’s toying with my emotions and I don’t even know anymore…”

“I know” Stacy replied softly. “But in the end, it’s a matter between you and your brother and you guys have to get through it one way or the other. And… be careful, okay? Don’t do anything rash. I shouldn’t have to say this because it’s ridiculous but then again you are impulsive sometimes, so just – just watch out. And think before you act. That’s important.”

Candace smiled faintly. “That means a lot coming from you, Stace.”

“Doesn’t it?” Stacy cheerfully responded. “Look, you’re going through a rough patch right now but it’ll all work out in the end, I’m sure of that. And if you need my advice or my help again, just call.”

Candace nodded. “Yeah, s’pose so. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

The seventeen-year-old put her phone back into her pocket and noticed the bus had arrived at its final stop in Danville. She walked out into the dark and lonely night, the wind blowing softly through the streets of the town. If the weather had matched her mood, there would have been rain too, but Candace figured she was fortunate that she didn’t have to cope with that on top of everything else.

She got to the house and took a deep breath upon reaching the porch. She was home again. The house where she had grown up… with her brother.

The house were she’d tried to bust the guy who now had a crush on her.

The house that was in front of the backyard where so many projects had been dedicated to her – and now, it dawned on her that that might not have been for the purpose of annoying her or out of sibling love, but for romance.

Candace shuddered with unease and quickly opened the door, but that didn’t help in any way. There was so much around that reminded her of Phineas and of what had just transpired that it drove her nuts. She didn’t know what to think, what to say, what to do… her parents were out to the movies again, and she knew she just wanted to go to her room and pretend nothing had happened. It wouldn’t work out that way, she knew that in advance, but she could at least try.

She was just getting up the stairs when she clearly heard a door quickly slam shut.

Oh no. He wasn’t getting away that easily. Almost immediately, Candace’s vocal chords let out a hitherto little-practiced yell. “FERB!”

Sure enough, her sheepish-looking stepbrother appeared only a moment later. Candace stared into his eyes, but to his credit, he didn’t flinch. “You knew how Phineas thought about me all along, didn’t you?”

He blinked.

“Oh, come on!” Candace scoffed. “Don’t even try to play dumb with me. I know you and Phineas share everything in your lives with each other.”

Ferb shook his head and smiled faintly, almost even smugly. “Not you.”

A shiver ran up Candace’s spine, the words reminding her far too clearly of what had happened tonight and calling to mind an even direr prospect. It was bad enough one of her brothers was pining after her – she wouldn’t have known what to do had Ferb expressed an interest in her, too. She already didn’t have the best relationship with her stepbrother – not that she didn’t like him, but she just couldn’t relate to him very well. (Heh, ‘relate’.) They were opposites on so many levels, so if she had to pick one of them to crush on her she’d definitely prefer Phin – _did I just think that?_

Ferb just kept staring at her. She tried to come up with something to say, to reprimand him for keeping this from her, but she was just too befuddled and confused to really say anything anymore. “We’ll talk about this later” she finally stated, before walking into her bedroom and throwing herself face-first onto her bed.

This was not how she’d imagined this night to end. Then again, that was hardly something she could blame herself for. No one could have been able to see _this_ coming.

But… but no. She wasn’t going to think about it anymore. She was going to pretend it never happened and think happy thoughts of hanging out with Jeremy… scratch that, she’d broken up with him so that would just hurt… of busting her brothers… who were the cause of her current confusion… of hanging out with her mom… no, that would just lead her straight back to busting as that was the thing she spent most of her time with mom on… maybe she could think about hanging out with Stacy? There weren’t too many times in her life that were unconnected to either busting or Jeremy, so… maybe… school?

She sighed and stared at Ducky Momo. “Why is my life so pathetic?” she wondered out loud. “Is this really what I am? A neurotic girl who isn’t doing anything with her existence, whose boyfriend walked out on her, whose brother has an incestuous crush on her…” It sounded ridiculous just to say it. “…and that’s it? That’s my life now? If I’m not doing anything worthwhile anymore, then who _is_ Candace Flynn?”

The doorbell rang, disrupting her reverie and making her freeze. Was he really back this soon? Well, she knew the buses across the Tri-State Area ran regularly and he really didn’t have anything else to do in Adjacent. She had maybe expected him to hang around for a while before going back home, not wanting to face the fact that his sister now knew how he felt, but apparently those considerations hadn’t been Phineas’s or he wouldn’t be back here now.

The doorbell rang again. She made no move to get up – he had a key, didn’t he? Or if he didn’t, Ferb would let him in. There was no need to confront him. In fact, she might as well close her own bedroom door. She did have that lock installed a year or so ago, so she could lock him out. The way it was now it wasn’t even shut and it would only invite him to come in. Maybe if she shut the door he would hesitate and go to his own room. Locking the door would be even better.

The front door opened.

Why wasn’t she locking her door?

She heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

_Seriously lock the frigging door already this shouldn’t be an issue why aren’t you doing this?_

He was off the stairs.         

Finally, a weary Candace got up and stared at her doorway. Even in this crucial moment, she couldn’t bring herself to act. A moment later, though, it was no longer possible or necessary, as a familiar redhead appeared on the brink of her room.


	16. "Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Phineas and Candace, "Flop Starz"/ "Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown".
> 
> As if I could use any other title quote for this chapter. 
> 
> I reread this chapter endless times after I first wrote down most of it, and with reason - it's the primary climax of the whole story, in a way, and I want it to be as good as possible. Therefore, I would like to ask you to be as critical (constructively, of course) as you can in the reviews. Mention what you think went right, and what could have been better or just wasn't in-character enough. I know there's parts of the chapter I'm not entirely satisfied about, but at some point you're just going to have to release some product to the public, and well, this is it. For the moment, at least. Hope you can all enjoy it. 
> 
> And yes, we're getting more than one Candace POV in a row. I thought it was important to have this entire sequence of Candace finding out and getting together with Phineas be written from her POV, since she's naturally resistant to it and she has a lot of complex emotions going on, emotions that need to be described. But sooner or later, we'll get back to Phin's POV. 
> 
> Anyway, please read and review!

Candace didn’t know what she had thought would happen. Did she expect him to avoid her? To bolt upon seeing her, as she had done to him? To avoid the sister who had broken his heart? Neither of those scenarios applied, though, as Phineas was standing right in front of her, only a few feet away.

There was no way she could run anymore. The time for confrontation had come.

Her brother looked even more tired and disheveled than she did – either the weather had gotten worse, or her actions had taken its toll on his physical state. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, Candace knew it was largely the latter case. Phineas’ red hair was a mess, his eyes bloodshot. His fancy clothes, so different from his usual style, stuck to his lanky body which meant that even if she could have considered him attractive before she definitely wouldn’t think so now and, and…

Shut up. Just shut up.

Phineas looked at her. Candace met his gaze. They just stared at each other for twenty seconds straight.

“So…” She finally broke the silence. “You’ve got a crush on me?”

Just saying it felt strange. But he nodded, not cutting off their eye contact. “I do.”

It somehow felt different to hear it confirmed. She had expected it of course, but to hear her own little brother admit that he liked her romantically… a million questions raged through her head, most of them coming down to ‘why’, ‘ _why_ ’ and ‘ _FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, WHY?!_ ’, but they felt too obvious. Too cliché. She settled on a different one. “Since how long?”

Phineas blinked. “Since a couple of weeks ago, I guess.”

“And you never told me.”

Phineas sighed, gazed down and took a step towards her. She instinctively flinched. “I would have, but Ferb told me not to. He thought you would have a… strong reaction. I guess he was right.” His gaze met hers again. “Look, just say you don’t have any such feelings for me and we won’t have to talk about this ever again.”

Candace stared at him. That… that shouldn’t be too hard, should it? Just say she wasn’t attracted to her annoying little brother. “I…” she began. “I don’t have…. romantic feelings. For you.”

Phineas nodded, and even though he was obviously not happy with her answer he didn’t press it. He just turned around, his face still cast down, and headed for the doorway.

“Except…”

He stopped in his tracks, and she felt tempted to kick herself. Why had she said that? She hadn’t meant to say that! Maybe her voice was getting a mind of its own? Now that would just be perfect.

They stared at each other, neither really comprehending the other (or in Candace’s case, herself). “I meant,” she spoke up again, and then she felt tempted to stop but the expecting look in his eyes prompted her to go on. “It’s not like I think you’re unlikable, in that way. You _are_ nice and sweet and caring and all that, and I _do_ think your smile is kinda cute and you have the most adorable blue eyes… but that doesn’t mean I have feelings for you! I – I just can’t, Phineas!”

Her brother just kept staring at her in a way more characteristic of Ferb. She hoped, desperately hoped against hope that he would go away, but instead he sat down next to her on her bed. She let him, but instantly turned her eyes away from him. He, however, would have none of that. “Why not?”

Why not? Why the heck not? She chuckled half-heartedly, the question seemingly too stupid to contemplate. But if it really was, then they wouldn’t have been here right now, with her in a complete emotional mess and her little brother crushing on her.

She turned back to him and took a deep breath. “Disregarding the obvious, I’m seventeen, you’re thirteen. You’re just a kid.” As she said it, she knew it was a lousy argument – over the past few days of endless moping (not to mention the weeks of craziness she’d gone through around Jeremy) there had been only one mature person out of the two of them, and it wasn’t her.

“Mom and Dad are four years apart too” Phineas reminded her. “And I don’t care that you’re older than I am – you’re definitely not less pretty for it. But if it really disturbs you, I could find a way to _become_ seventeen. Remember the time you were shrunk to our age and we had to spend half the day building a device that could change you back? Ferb and I could rebuild it and make me skip those years.”

Good heavens, how could she not remember that day? She’d been thinking all about it just now… not that she was going to tell him that. She smiled at his absurd suggestion, but that smile faded when she saw the serious look in his eyes. “You – you’d do that for me” she stammered. “Really?” The thought was too ridiculous to contemplate – she knew Phineas valued his youth and was determined to seize every day, so for him to just throw away four years…

Nevertheless, he nodded. “I wouldn’t like it, but if that’s what it takes for you to take me seriously…” He sighed. “I _love_ you, Candace. I’ve been getting this weird feeling in my stomach and a lump in my throat every single time I’ve seen you the past few days. I, I – you’ve got experience with being in love, I thought you might understand.”

The look in his eyes told her how sincere he was. He loved her. Her little brother loved her, in an entirely non-sibling way. Candace hurled her head against the pillow. “Why…” she muttered, then held up her hand as she saw Phineas begin to reply. “Why _me_? I’m neurotic, obsessive, and just plain creepy! Jeremy dumped me for that, so why would you – out of all people – be able to love me? Your _own sister_?”

Phineas blinked. “Well, for one, I’m not Jeremy.”

Candace chuckled, the laugh desperately needed right now. “Gee, you think?”

“And I think Jeremy was wrong” Phineas continued. “I don’t think he really thought you were creepy, but even if he thought you were just a bit too weird and broke up with you for that – Candace, those are your best qualities. Your determination. Your focus. It always made my day when you would participate in our inventions because of the energy you threw into it.”

Candace blinked. “Maybe that’s what Jeremy left me for” she muttered. “How… plain weird all of my life was.” And yet she had never been really repulsed by it. Yes, she had tried to reject it, but it was so much part of her daily existence that she might never get it fully out of her system. Could anyone who didn’t understand that kind of life, who didn’t live that kind of life every day – such as Jeremy Johnson – ever truly understand her? Hadn’t that been why she had always been so concerned about putting on an image for him – a front, as Ferb had called it?

Phineas smiled. “Candace, a little weirdness isn’t a bad thing” he said, taking her hand before she could stop him. “What truly matters is enjoying yourself. Think of all the great things you’ve accomplished, just by being you! I never managed to become King of Mars, or saved the world by overcoming a fear so great as your fear of spiders. If you just believe in yourself, you can do anything! And even when you fail, like when you try to show Mom what we’re doing, you don’t give up. That’s something I’ve always admired you for. That’s why you’re the best, Candace.”

His sister smiled at the sweet words coming from the boy sitting opposite her, the boy who had a crush on her. He was always so kind, so comforting. Phineas made her feel at ease. In that way, he really wasn’t like Jeremy. He was, as inconceivable as that would have sounded only a few weeks ago, _better_ than Jeremy.

And now he wanted to take that place in her life, to become her boyfriend. And to her shock, Candace suddenly realized two things with regards to that.

One – that although the idea was odd and made her uncomfortable, it felt nowhere near as repulsive as it should have.

Two – that it wouldn’t represent too much of a change.

Because wasn’t the main thing about being a boyfriend – being there for her, loving her, going out with her… wasn’t all that what Phineas had _already_ been doing for her for… well, maybe not most of her life, but certainly over the past days. And it had never disturbed her then. In fact, she’d enjoyed going out with her brother, and had recovered remarkably fast from her previous heartbreak.

She liked being with Phineas.

Would putting a different label on that really change all that much…

“But I can’t do it!”

The ferocity of her own words surprised her, and Phineas let go of her hand _too bad that touch felt real good – oh now you’re just being ridiculous._ She stared at him and shivered. Yes, he was definitely surprised… hurt, even. Her words had hurt him. The thought made her uncomfortable, but… “I can’t date you, Phineas” she said as firmly as she could, which wasn’t very firmly at all right now. “You’re my _brother_!” 

Phineas frowned. “So…”

So? How so? How was it possible that she had to explain this to him? “It’s not right!” she insisted, straining her brain to find a way to clarify. “It – incest creates birth defects, and…”

Phineas shrank back. “Wait, you think I want to have _kids_ with you then? Candace, I’m thirteen years old! I – I hadn’t even thought about that!”

And neither had she, for that matter. The ‘birth defect’ thing just popped out as a standard thing to say, and now it had left the both of them flustered. Candace’s face turned red at the thought of at some distant point having kids with her own _brother_ , of all people. It… this wasn’t how the conversation was supposed to go! Then again, she didn’t know if she really had any idea on how this kind of conversation should be going…

Phineas had finally recovered enough to take her hand again, once more sending a blush to her cheeks. Why was that happening? Why couldn’t she simply start seeing him as just her little brother again, like she had before this night? Then again, given the topic of the discussion, it would be impossible not to at least _consider_ him like that… “Look, I understand that there are a lot of people who freak out at siblings going to bed with each other and… doing stuff” he said, his awkward fumbling at the end of the sentence making her smile despite herself. “I can see that. But all I’m asking you is to go out on a date with me some time, and to consider if you could like me in that way. I’m sure there’s not a single moral or judicial law in existence that explicitly forbids siblings just kissing each other.”

“You may be right” Candace admitted. “But one thing could lead to the other, you know.”

Phineas frowned. “Did you ever sleep with Jeremy?”

Candace blushed, flustered at the frank question (but not so much anymore at who was asking it). “No…”

“Then would I be correct in assuming that people just dating each other wouldn’t necessarily lead to anything immediately?”

Candace sighed, but nodded. “Yeah, you would, especially if those people are still minors. But no matter how long that slippery slope would be, it would still be slippery.”

“Maybe” Phineas admitted. “But it would be the kind of slippery slope with rough patches where we can stop, take a breath, look back and forward and make our own decisions on what to do next. It would be hard to go back to being just siblings, but it wouldn’t be impossible. If just having kissed and becoming boyfriend and girlfriend for a while made marriage inevitable, then how did you ever break up with Jeremy? There are plenty of people who can go from being in a relationship to just being friends – good friends, even. Why wouldn’t that be the same with siblings?”

Candace stared at him, unmoving and unsure what else she could still say. Emotions of all kinds were warring in her head and her heartbeat had to be going at twice its normal speed right now. For all that, though, she couldn’t deny that he was right. The fact that he was her brother wouldn’t necessarily mean they couldn’t go on a simple date as long as they were inconspicuous. But if she couldn’t keep up that line of defense…

“What about Isabella?”

Phineas blinked, clearly genuinely surprised at the question. “What about her?”

Candace made sure to phrase her next words carefully. “Don’t you think Isabella might have some… pronounced opinions on the idea of you and me getting together? Don’t you think she might… dislike it, for some reason?” All right, that was still ambiguous – maybe too ambiguous – but something made her draw back from spelling it out to him, and even Phineas should be able to get the hint now.

Her brother frowned and leaned back, clearly thinking it over. It was so strange to see how he could realize the greatest technological breakthroughs at breathtaking speed and yet on manners of romance he had to strain every part of his genius mind, thinking as hard as he could to find what should be the obvious answer. It was an oddly adorable look on him _stop it stop it stop it!!_ Then his eyes widened. “Wait, are you saying that…”

Wait for it…

Phineas gasped. “Isabella likes you too?!”

“NO!” Candace exclaimed, shocked. “At least – I mean, I hope not! I – if I had to deal with that on top of everything else, I would be ready to have myself committed!” Huh, perhaps that wasn’t such a bad idea anyway after today. She was in a conversation about dating her brother, she was completely high-strung, obsessive, neurotic, and she had spent all her life concentrating on ultimately futile things such as pursuing Jeremy and busting her brothers.

Maybe the loony bin really was the best place for her.

Before she could voice that thought, though, Phineas’s arms wrapped around her. Candace could read the obvious concern in his eyes, concern coming from the boy who had apparently not even considered Isabella as an option when she had mentioned it as explicitly as she could. At this moment, she had no doubt Phineas had never even thought of the Fireside Girl from across the street in a romantic way. Thoughts like that existed in his oblivious mind, yes… but they were directed at _her_.

Just under two hours ago that realization had made her run away from him. Now, she didn’t even shift in his hold but instead returned the hug. Phineas’ head rested against her shoulder – he would never have gotten up so high when they were younger. He had really grown, in more ways than one.

They had hugged before, of course, as many siblings did. But this hug was special. She didn’t want it to end because it made her feel so at ease, put her heartbeat down and… it reassured her. That even though she was neurotic and high-strung and probably crazy, there was someone at her side who didn’t abandon her because of those traits but instead both encouraged them and mellowed them out at the same time. “Phineas, I…” she began. Him looking up at her made her continue. “I don’t even know anymore how I feel about you. But I do love you, because you’re my brother, and…” She left the sentence unfinished, mostly because she had no clue on how to end it.

Phineas looked up at her. His face was just a few inches away from hers now, and they were so close that she could hear him breathing – she could even feel the hot air against her cheeks. “I love you too” he finally said. “As a sister, as a friend, but also as something… more than that. You’re sweet and beautiful and smart and courageous, and that’s why I hope you can love me too, because…” He shrugged, seeming unsure of himself for the first time of his life. “…I can’t be that bad, can I?”

Candace forced herself to look at him. A teenager. Nearly her height now. Flaming red hair, an adorable smile, a physique she could no longer deny was attractive… “No” she admitted. “You’re not. Any girl would be lucky to have you, just…”

“Just not you?” Phineas finished.

Candace sighed, feeling his arms wrap around her even tighter, as if he were afraid of losing her forever. Maybe he was. “I don’t know, Phineas” she whispered. “I really don’t know anymore.”

He stared up at her, desperation in his eyes. “Look, I understand you’re reluctant. Well, I may not understand it, but I know it and I want you to know I’ll never demand that you do something you don’t agree with, but… all I’m asking you is to give me a try, Candace. If you don’t want to do that, I’ll go back to my room, get out of your world, and you won’t have to worry about this ever again. We’ll never be anything more than just siblings."

He left the words hanging there for a moment, and if not for the expression on his face she would have thought that he had finished speaking. Instead, he just waited for a few moments as they both tried to collect their thoughts. Candace knew she couldn’t do that, though. She was just so confused. She had all these emotions of rejecting her brother’s feelings and accepting them and maybe reciprocating them but it was all so new and strange, and she just didn’t know what to say anymore. 

Phineas looked at her, and for a moment it felt like they were all alone in the world. “But if you want to try…” 

He took her hand in his and gently rubbed his thumb across her skin. There was something so oddly soothing about the way he was holding her, something way more affectionate than was normal for siblings but still… right. It was far from normal, but then again Phineas had never quite been normal and neither had she. He looked up at her, his eyes questioning and inviting but still willing to defer to her final decision, and since when could she read him like this anyway? 

“But if you want to try being something _more_ than that…”

It was a similar question to the one he had posed when he came into the room, the one she had – initially – answered negatively. But so much had changed even in the little time that had passed since then. Her arguments were exhausted, her will to struggle against these unfamiliar new feelings worn out. And now, looking at the boy who had wrapped her arms around her, whom she had wrapped her own arms around, the boy who loved her, the boy she loved as well…

She couldn’t say no. And not just because it would break his heart either.

She couldn’t say no… because she didn’t _want_ to say no.

“Okay” she whispered.

Phineas blinked, and remained silent for a few seconds. His eyes were filled with disbelief and wonder. “Really?”

Candace felt confused. Overwhelmed by emotions, feelings, contradictory thoughts… it had all just been too much tonight. She couldn’t get another word out, but she managed to nod, which was all the encouragement her little brother – her _brother_ – needed.

He moved his arms up around her neck, leaned in and kissed her.

The kiss surprised her on various levels. Despite all their conversation about a relationship, it was something else altogether to feel her brother’s lips against hers. She hesitantly returned the kiss, opening her mouth somewhat hoping he’d get the hint – she wasn’t sure whether he was familiar with the concept of French kissing or not.

He was (she’d have to ask him where he of all people got that information from). Phineas gently pushed his tongue inside her, exploring her mouth, and Candace briefly dithered before returning the gesture. She even lightly touched his palate, wondering if she could create some kind of ticklish reaction there. It was all very playful. Surreal, and yet relaxing.

She would not have been surprised had kissing her brother set off all kinds of alarm bells in her brain and a distinct taste of wrongness, of disgust, making it impossible to continue the kiss for more than two seconds. She also took into account the remote possibility of this being just right, the kind of perfect, idealized romantic fairy tale type of kiss that would tell her that now she’d met her soul mate.

Neither of those things came to pass.

Phineas kissed her clumsily, awkwardly, obviously well-meaning and enthusiastic but oh-so-inexperienced. She had experienced kisses that were much better in terms of execution than this one. But the fact that she was kissing him at all remained upright, and she was… enjoying it. It wasn’t great, but it was far from bad. And her brain didn’t fill itself with horror or disgust (well, maybe there was a little bit), but rather with ideas on how to teach Phineas a little more about the art of kissing for the next time. She wasn’t sure how her subconscious had even decided that there was going to be a next time at all, but all of a sudden that seemed as clear as day.

After what had to have been just a few seconds – even if it seemed to last for much longer – she gently ended the kiss, leaving her brother with the biggest grin on his face. “Wow” he whispered. “That was… amazing.”

Candace smiled. “Thank you.”

Phineas cleared his throat nervously, clearly having no idea what to do now. They had broken off the hug and were now reduced to awkwardly sitting next to each other on the bed, unsure how to go on.

“So…”

“Do you…”

“Should we…”

And then Candace flung her arms around his neck and passionately kissed him back.

There was no reason ‘next time’ couldn’t be right now, after all.

oooooooo

Officially, he was supposed to be studying for a math test tonight. The subject came easy to him, but even so Ferb Fletcher knew that at least a superficial amount of learning would be required if he wanted to pass.

And yet, what with everything going on in the room next to his, he knew that there was no way he was going to get any studying done tonight.

He couldn’t quite make out everything his siblings were saying – not that he particularly wanted to – but the gist of the events occurring in the room next to him was clear. Somehow, Phineas had pulled it off. Ferb was therefore not very surprised when his brother eventually burst into their room, grinning from ear to ear.

“It actually happened, Ferb” he said, his voice filled with a similar sense of wonder to what Ferb was used to from him, even though now it was about an entirely different subject than usual. “Candace and I kissed.”

Ferb nodded, and gestured with his head towards Candace’s room, then back at Phineas.

“Both” his brother replied. “I initiated the first kiss – after asking her whether she was okay with it, of course – but she started the second one, and after that it just went back and forth. Or it didn’t. I don’t remember. Maybe I should write all of this down.” He sat down on his bed, clearly exhausted from the long day but with that smile not leaving his face. “It feels like the day I made my first invention all over again. I’ve got a girlfriend. A girlfriend, Ferb!”

“Congratulations” Ferb said, his tone still stoic but friendly.

“I mean – I think I’m rambling a little too much now, but I’m still in shock. After all you told me about how Candace might react, I thought it would never happen… but it did.” There was no accusation in those words, just an enduring sense of amazement. “For a long time I’ve thought you would find someone before I ever could, but now… do you really think we can’t tell anyone about this? I just know I’m going to be horrible at keeping secrets.”

Ferb shook his head and smiled wryly – now there was one thing Phineas hadn’t needed to tell him. It was probably going to be difficult for Phineas, or even for busting-obsessed Candace, to maintain some kind of secret relationship even despite their mother’s obliviousness. And he had to admit he could not be sure how their parents would react; maybe they would be too thrilled that their son and daughter had found romance that they would spend little time questioning its origin. But somehow he doubted it, and he strongly presumed Candace would agree with him. And then there was the risk of what Isabella might think.

Isabella. That poor, beautiful, creative young lady who had no clue that she was almost as oblivious as the boy she had a crush on was perhaps the main reason Ferb wanted to avoid telling _anyone_ about this at the moment. If Phineas and Candace’s relationship lasted, there would be no way they could avoid telling her someday, but if it didn’t – and for all his encouraging of his brother’s wishes, Ferb was still on the fence about the likelihood of that – it would be pointless to upset and perhaps enrage her by telling her about something that would be irrelevant in the long run anyway. Of course they would have to tell Isabella eventually that the love of her life did not love her back, but that conversation could be… postponed. She would have to be gradually prepared for it over time, to make sure she wouldn’t break down emotionally. They couldn’t just spring the news upon her now.

Phineas cleared his throat, and Ferb realized he had been drifting off into Ferbland a little too much this time. He’d registered Phineas’ excited rambling on some level, about how he and Candace had already discussed their future relationship a little – though thankfully without too concrete plans – but he somehow hadn’t realized his brother had finished speaking and had noticed his lack of attention. He blinked.

“I said I was thinking of turning in early tonight” Phineas repeated. “It’s been a long day, and I’m exhausted… although I wonder if I can sleep because of how excited I am. Do you have any word yet on when Mom and Dad are going to be home?”

Ferb took out his cell phone and handed it over to Phineas, who quickly found the appropriate text message. “Not back until one then. Must have been some movie. I’ll ask them about it tomorrow. Maybe they could even provide us with a good idea for the day’s project!”

Ferb almost broke into a grin at that statement. It was oddly amusing how soon Phineas got back into his daily spirit of creating and enjoying inventions as if nothing had happened at all. But something _had_ happened, and the British boy had no doubt it would change the dynamics in their family for good. Starting tomorrow.

As he was pondering that, though, a thought occurred to him and he pointed at his mouth. A confused Phineas got the hint, but didn’t realize what he meant until he wiped off his own mouth and noticed the red stain on his hand. “Huh, I hadn’t even noticed she was wearing lipstick” he muttered. “It can’t have been too much anyway. Thanks, Ferb. ”

Ferb smiled faintly. Yes, there were a lot of things in this family that were going to have to change, perhaps even more than they could begin to foresee right now. Dynamics would be different, and _everyone_ would have to be on their guard for that not to be noticed while simultaneously figuring out their own thoughts and emotions.

Maybe going to bed early wasn’t such a bad idea after all.


	17. "I have this weird desire to go outside. I mean normally, around this time of day, you're pulling me to go out in the yard and I kind of have a hankering to do it!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Linda, "Sleepwalk Surprise". 
> 
> So... a new chapter, dealing with the new status quo for the Flynn-Fletchers. A status quo which, as Ferb accurately predicted last chapter, takes a lot of adjusting especially from Candace. But everyone's happy now, so everything should be fine...
> 
> ...right?

Waking up to construction noises the next morning was so normal that Candace was half-way into a sitting position in order to get up and yell at her brothers before she remembered what had happened last night. Phineas had asked her to be his girlfriend, and she had accepted.

 _Phineas_ had asked _her_ to be his _girlfriend_ …

All right, there was no way that sentence would ever sound normal.

The seventeen-year-old girl sat up, and pondered the events of last night. They were so absurd… and yet too real to dismiss them as a dream. That thought was further written off when she noticed the dress she’d worn to the dance floor hanging over a chair, and the umbrella she’d taken along just in case the weather predictions were wrong over another. She looked into the mirror. Was this the face of a girl who had made out with her own brother? From the evidence, the answer to that question had to be ‘yes’.

Seriously, what had possessed her? How could she ever have thought accepting Phineas’ proposal was a good idea? It had to have been the time of night, the exhaustion, maybe she had been drinking expired soda at Martella’s… but she was stuck with it now. She couldn’t tell him no after saying yes last night, and for crying out loud, a large part of her didn’t _want_ to tell Phineas no.

It wanted to see where this would go first.

The construction noises continued. Candace got up, walked over and poked her head out of the window. “What do you guys think you’re doing?”

Phineas looked up at her. “Good morning, Candace” he said cheerfully. “We’re building a water slide. It’s part of fummer! You know, fall and summer, only this time taking place in actual fall. Want to join us?”

“Uh… I think I’ll pass, thank you” Candace stammered. She mentally wondered why everything was so much like she was used to. Had she really just spoken to her brand new boyfriend? If it hadn’t been for the dress and the umbrella she could have sworn everything was normal, the same way it had always been. Wasn’t a girl with a crush supposed to stare at her boyfriend and gush over him and…

She _was_ staring at Phineas now. And he was staring back. He was still clutching his screwdriver in one hand, but his attention was on her. It should have been enough to drive both of them crazy because they weren’t doing anything anymore, but instead they just… stared at each other. And it was fine.

He _was_ kinda cute, now that she thought about it. Dorky, awkward, nerdy, but cute despite or maybe because of that. And once you got past the whole triangle-for-a-head thing or even tried to see it as a plus, he was handsome as well. Smart, kind, good-looking… she barely noticed the goofy smile that had emerged on her face, but she did notice the one that emerged on his, along with the dreamy faraway look in his eyes as he stared at her. They’d been staring at each other for almost a minute now, and yet neither of them was making any moves to turn away.

Which was why Ferb did, in the form of poking Phineas in the side.                                          

The siblings rapidly regained their composure at that moment, Phineas looking at the screwdriver as if he was only just noticing he was holding it and Candace hastily drawing back because how had she not noticed that she was leaning precariously far out of the window? She looked at both of her brothers, desperately willing herself to say something normal.

“You guys are so busted.”

There was no emotion in that, no anger or frustration, just a matter-of-fact statement. Was it even a wonder that Ferb gave her that seriously-you-can-do-better-than-that look? That Phineas smiled and replied: “Got it, Candace!”?

She slumped back into her room and resisted the serious temptation to lie down on her bed. Instead, she opened her closet and took out her daily clothes. She looked them over longer than she usually did, and it took her a few moments to realize she was measuring them to see if Phineas would like them.

This was getting _nuts_.

She got dressed in the exact same clothes as always because she _definitely_ wasn’t going to change her attire over stuff like this, and headed down the stairs. She poured herself some cereal before stopping short at what she saw.

Her mother, reading a newspaper at the breakfast table.

Sitting exactly in front of the open window through which she could look into the backyard and see the waterslide.

It was too easy. Too tempting. Candace smirked. “Oh, Mom?”

Her mother gave her a look. “Yes, Candace?”

The orange-haired girl grinned from ear to ear. “You might want to turn around and look through the window.”

Linda sighed. “Candace, it’s only 9 AM. Give me a chance to finish my cereal first.”

“It’ll only take a second, Mom” Candace promised. “Just turn around and look. You won’t be disappointed.”

Her mother gave her a drawn-out weary look and nodded. “I suppose I could spare _one_ moment to get it all over with.” She turned around and looked through the window.

And she saw nothing, because it was right at that moment that the shades outside resolved to fall shut, shutting off the window from view.

Just as Candace was cursing her bad luck, her mother also gave the shades a frustrated look. “Thanks for bringing that to my attention, Candace. I’ll go out and see if I can fix it right away.”

Her mother was up and halfway towards the backdoor when the words caught up with Candace. “Wait… you’re going out?”

Linda stopped. “Yes, that’s what I said.”

“You’re going out?” Candace repeated. “To the backyard? You’re going to go to the backyard right now, on your own, without prompting?”

Her mother patiently nodded. “Yes, like I just said, I need to repair the shades. If I can’t fix it on my own and it turns out your Dad can’t either we’ll have to get a mechanic of course, but I think I can do something as comparatively simple as restoring them to their proper position.”

Candace’s grin broadened again. This was actually happening. There was no way Phineas and Ferb could hide all that in time. She was going to get them busted and they would finally be in so much trouble…

Phineas would be in trouble.

She’d get her own _boyfriend_ in trouble.

“Mom, wait!”

Linda was holding the doorknob when her daughter suddenly rushed up to her and smiled uneasily. “You know, Mom, I was just wondering… what if you go out there, and, say, hypothetically, Phineas and Ferb were working on something big and dangerous and bustable?”

Her mother gave her an exasperated look. “Do we really have to talk about this every single day?”

“Hey, it’s autumn” Candace pointed out. “It’s only every week now. Can’t you humor me? I’m kind of curious…for some reason or another.”

Linda sighed. “Well, it would depend on what they were doing” she said. “If they really were working on one of those mad projects you always describe to me, I might ground them for up to a month, and get them strict supervision so that they could not get away with something like this again.”

The prospect that had always sounded so good suddenly appeared as a horror to Candace. Phineas and Ferb, unable to invent any longer? If there was anything that could invoke her younger brother’s anger at her, it would be that. She had to do something. She couldn’t let her brothers be busted.

_So basically it’s okay if your brothers got in trouble and were punished for what they did, but now that Phineas is your boyfriend you suddenly care?_

Correction – she had to stop her brothers from being busted _and_ her conscience from rambling at her.

“You know, Mom,” she said, taking Linda’s arm before she could open the door and dragging her back to the table, “shouldn’t you finish your cereal first? Healthy breakfast, you know. Keeps you young and fresh!”

Her mother just stared at her. “Candace, are you okay?”

“Me?” Candace chuckled nervously. “I’m fine, I’m fine, obviously… or at least I will be after I’ve had something to eat! As will you!”

Linda frowned. “Candace, I believe you’re trying to keep something from me. What’s outside that you don’t want me to see? Did you make a mess in the backyard?”

Oh, the irony. Candace shook her head ferociously. “No, I just don’t want you to… I mean… you shouldn’t…”

Her mother shook her head. “Candace, if something happened, I want you to be honest about it. Guess I’m just going to have to go outside after all.” She took off towards the door, and despite Candace quickly catching up and tugging at her mother’s arm to hold her back Linda just kept ongoing. Candace closed her eyes as they got outside, not wanting to see her mom’s reaction.

What she got was a sigh. “As usual, Candace, you were making a big fuss over nothing. Why am I even surprised.”

Candace blinked. “Huh?” She opened her eyes and looked around the garden where Phineas and Ferb were sitting beneath the tree and refining some notes. “What are you guys doing? Where did the giant slide go?”

“We folded it back in to the size of a shoebox” Phineas replied. “We just got a few ideas to make it even more awesome! Now we’ll have waterslides running all the way from our house to Isabella’s pool!”

Linda smiled. “Boys and their imaginations… well, Candace, I fixed the window shades. Was there anything else you wanted to show me?”

Candace looked at her brothers and back at her mom and sighed. “Uh-uh.”

“Good. Then I’m going back to my cereal – as you reminded me, I do have to eat nutritiously. Have fun today, boys!”

Candace heard Phineas’ affirmative exclamation echo in her ears as she got back into the house and sulked back up the stairs. How was she going to cope with her day if she couldn’t even bust anymore? Well, it wasn’t like she could ever really _bust_ , the way busting was supposed to be, but now she couldn’t even decide if she _wanted_ to bust. On one hand, the urge was as strong as ever, but on the other hand…

She just lay down on her bed again and grabbed a novel off the shelf, hoping to distract herself from her indecisive existence. It actually worked for a few hours, but her thoughts kept going back to the invention she could hear Phineas and Ferb still had to be building outside. Was she going to let them get away with it? Or was she going to bust them? She couldn’t decide and she had to do something, something to show her Mom… if not now, then at least later…

That was the solution.

Why couldn’t she simply do something to make it so that she wouldn’t have to make the decision now? If she took pictures of Phineas and Ferb’s water slide, she’d be able to decide any time when to show them to her mother. And maybe if she and Phineas did end this relationship thingy she’d be able to use it, too. Candace smirked manically and looked out of the window, which was covered almost fully by part of the slide. Wow, this had to be big then. Which left her with plan B – get up on the roof.

Candace nervously climbed into the attic, trying to ignore all the spiders because although she’d gotten over her deep-rooted fear of them years ago they still made her uncomfortable. She leaned out of the window and looked out from the roof.

“All right, Candace,” she told herself, “you can do it. Sure, you’re afraid of heights, but you’ve done much more dangerous things than this and you’re still here now, right? Thought so.” She climbed out of the window and onto the top of the roof, carefully sitting down to minimize the risks of falling off. She then looked out into the yard.

As always, Phineas had hardly been exaggerating. The waterslides did cover the entire area from their house to Isabella’s pool, with one large water slide running across the street and a few smaller others by its side. Candace grinned, flashing one picture after another and leaning a little forward to take a final one. “Perfect! Now, I’ll have the evidence I need to –”

She wasn’t even sure how it happened. She had been leaning forward too far, without noticing the pin that was sticking out of the roof. Suddenly feeling it against her startled her, not enough to make her fall of course but enough to make her drop her phone. The device fell from her hands only to remain dangling by its cord on the edge of the flag pole.

All right, this was salvageable. She’d just have to retrieve the phone. Biting her lip, Candace inched further forwards and reached out for her phone. Just a little farther, just a bit more… she almost had it…

And then she lost her balance.

It all happened even faster than her phone falling, like the kind of series of rapidly succeeding events that cartoons would probably showcase in slow-motion. She fell off the roof; she clung onto the flag pole; the phone was shaken off and fell, shattering on the edge of the slide; and suddenly she was hanging over six feet above the nearest water slide part, and her acrophobia was back in full force. “ARGH!! PHINEAS!!!!!!”

Yelling for her brother was her first instinct, as it had always been. And as always, she didn’t have to wait long. Phineas was happily sliding by below until he noticed her and quickly grabbed something sticking out of the side of the slide. It was enough to make him be able to hold on and avoid the suction of the water and the steep descent dragging him down. He looked up at his sister. “Candace?”

“Phineas!” Candace exclaimed, relieved. “Oh, thank – I…” She felt her hand getting sweatier. “Argh! Phineas, help me!”

Her brother nodded. She noticed that he didn’t even seem to care about what mistakes she had to have made to get here – helping her out was his only priority. He narrowed his eyes, inspecting the general situation as well as he could from his constrained position. “I think I’ve got an idea!” he yelled. “Can you move a little more to the left?”

Candace nervously looked at the flag pole which was already bending under her weight, but nevertheless carried out her brother’s request, almost slipping on her way. Her hands were getting tired… her limbs were getting stretched… she wouldn’t be able to do this for much longer… “Now what?”

Phineas looked up at her. “Now when I tell you to, let go!”

“What?” The words were almost enough on their own to make her slip. “Phineas, I can’t let go! I’ll fall!”

“Of course!” Phineas smiled. “But I’ll be there to catch you, okay? I promise!”

Candace shivered. The thought of letting go terrified her, especially as it would mean she’d at best fall into the slide, which terrified her too… but intellectually, she knew holding on would only lead to certain disaster as well. (Whoa, déjà vu. Even if she couldn’t recall how she’d been in a similar situation before.) She looked down at her boyfriend and at the serious expression on his face. “Phineas, I…”

“Candace, just trust me!”

His sister remained quiet, and Phineas’ facial expression got even more desperate. “I know it’s terrifying, but it’s the only way I can save you. Just… just trust me, okay?”

The seventeen-year-old pondered it over in her head, remembering all the times Phineas had saved her in the past. Certainly, he was her little brother. An incorrigible optimist, annoying at times, oblivious and immature.

But if there was _anyone_ in Danville she could trust, Candace knew for sure it was him.

She nodded.

Phineas smiled, obviously relieved. “Thanks” he replied. “Okay, are you ready?”

Of course she was anything but ready, but she nodded at him anyway which he apparently didn’t decide to waste any time dwelling on. “All right, so you can let go… now!”

Candace released the pole, closing her eyes as she did so. She heard the water getting closer, felt the sensation of free fall… and then arms grabbed her, breaking her fall. Before she could contemplate on that, the arm around her shifted to clinging onto her hand and she could feel the rest of her still dropping, then getting snapped back because of Phineas’ hand holding onto her, and it hurt and…

…and then it was over. When Candace opened her eyes she saw she was on the slide, her body soaked because of the water and facing a steep descent before her, but she wasn’t falling anymore. The reason for that, as she discovered when she looked upwards, was that Phineas had managed to grab hold of the same protraction again with one hand while clinging onto hers in the other. He smiled at her, and although Candace’s attention was focused on the fact that he saved her and that she was still on a slide which made her uncomfortable, she couldn’t help but notice that her brother looked very handsome in just his swim shorts.

She knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on like this for long – the fact that he was managing to hold up her and his own weight at all was a surprising testament to his physical strength, so she grabbed hold of the side of the slide and pulled herself slightly upwards. “Thanks” she said breathily. “How did you do that?”

Phineas shrugged. “I just calculated how to kick myself upwards from the slide so that I’d be exactly under the spot where you would drop at the right moment. Then I reached out to catch you, fell back and managed to cling on. Basic math, really. Well, math and dexterity.”

He was so modest and charming and sweet and amazing and was she still looking at his chest now? Candace blushed, but decided it didn’t matter as much when she noticed Phineas wasn’t looking at her face all the time either. Of course, with her now soaked clothes sticking to her body, she must have made quite an interesting sight. It made her feel slightly less bad about her own staring.

And why would it make her feel bad? They _were_ boyfriend and girlfriend now, after all. The thought had never seemed more appealing than it did at that moment.

“So, what now?” Candace said. “We’re… we’re going to have to slide down to the end, aren’t we?”

Phineas gave her a sympathetic look. “I know it makes you nervous, but it’s the only way to get down” he said gently. “Just hold onto me and everything will be fine. I’ll make sure of it. Do you believe in me on that, Candace?”

Since there was only one response she could give to her new boyfriend on that, Candace smiled at him. Then she pulled herself back up to his level, clung onto his shoulder and kissed him.

It was a different kiss to the ones they had shared last night. It was wetter, for one – she could taste the chlorine of the water on Phineas’ lips, and they were a lot cooler than she would have expected (even if the water temperature around them was actually relatively pleasant – part of fummer again, she figured). Secondly, although Phineas responded by kissing her back, it remained slightly more chaste than last night. They simply didn’t have time for anything more right now. Not to mention that they were out in the open where anyone might see them and… oh man, what if Phineas and Ferb’s friends were looking at them right now? Candace broke the kiss and nervously glanced towards the end of the slide. Fortunately, although she could identify Ferb, Isabella, Buford and Baljeet in the distance, she didn’t think they could possibly have seen anything from that distance and angle. That was at least one consolation.

She lightly brushed her lips against his again, which lead to him smiling at her. “Can I take that as a yes?”

Candace gave him a good-natured sigh. He just had to ask the question to be sure, hadn’t he? “Of course.”

Phineas nodded and let go of the edge of the slide, a fraction after she had done the same. She clung to him as they rushed down through rocky twists and uncomfortable turns. It… she still didn’t like it, but she knew she wasn’t alone. It somehow made her less terrified than she otherwise would have been.

In the end, the race to the end of the slide probably took about twenty seconds, even if it felt like a lot longer than that, and after it was over they abruptly splashed into the pool. Candace managed to emerge above the water level, coughing. Phineas emerged a few feet away from her, a smile on his face as always. “That was awesome!”

Of course he’d think it was awesome, and of course not everyone would agree with him, if she had to judge from the expressions on the others’ faces. “What happened up there?” Isabella wondered. “Candace, did you fall into the slide?”

“Yeah” Candace replied, seeing no need to conceal _that_ part at least. “I had to let go of the flag pole I’d fallen on while trying to take pictures and… wait, my phone!” In the midst of the hectic events she’d forgotten all about it. “It crashed and now I… I…”

“Don’t worry, Candace” Phineas reassured her. “Ferb and I will make you a new one in no time!”

Candace smiled, touched. Here she was, only just uttering the need for a new phone when her brother was already willing to make it for her. Why did they have to be so amazing? “Oh, thank you, thank you!” She hugged Phineas until she realized what she was doing. Candace let go of her brother and quickly backpedaled. “I mean, you guys are busted, and… all that… um… I mean… you know what I mean, right?”

Phineas gave her hand a friendly squeeze under the water. “Of course.”

She probably would have kissed him again if not for Isabella, Buford and Baljeet standing all around her. “I… I’ve got to go” she mumbled uncertainly, heading over to the ladder. “Still got some busting to do, you know.”

Phineas frowned. “Aren’t you going to stay with us?”

Candace’s first impulse was to say no, as she usually did when Phineas asked her to cling around. But then again… he had just saved her life. Could she really bust him today? Of course, their inventions were usually big and obnoxious and dangerous, but this one had only caused danger to her so far, and Phineas had managed to protect her from it. Not to mention that it hardly _felt_ obnoxious, and the smaller slides could actually be kinda… fun. Shouldn’t she give her brothers a break, today? They deserved a break, right? It wasn’t like she was going to give up on busting altogether – just the idea made her uncomfortable. But since Phineas had saved her, she could justify letting him off the hook for the day, couldn’t she?

_Sure. If you’ll buy that._

Oh, shut up.

She turned towards her brothers and gave them a smile. “Well… why not? Guess I’m off to get my swim suit!”

Over the rest of the day, Candace Flynn hung out with her brothers and their friends and, as much as she would have previously hated (and currently still disliked) admitting it, she enjoyed herself. She went down the slides, played tag with Phineas in the water, and teamed up with Isabella to play an underwater prank on Ferb. They also had another one of those races across the water again, like the last two times she and Phineas had gone out swimming. Yes, it was all very childish and immature. But… she actually had fun. And that counted as well, didn’t it?

After they all had ice cream, the Flynn-Fletcher siblings went home with a sunny disposition. For once, Candace didn’t bother to look where the project disappeared off to. Maybe there was another one of those stupid rays from the sky, maybe it was shrunk into the size of an ice cube, and maybe Phineas and Ferb just cleaned everything up. For once, it didn’t really seem to matter. She’d had a good day.

The remainder of the evening was uneventful, as Candace spent a lot of it browsing on her computer where she might have occasionally looked up stuff about having a relationship with one’s brother. There were a lot of websites with information about it, but few of them apparently considered that dating your brother could just be plain fun. She supposed that was because most people weren’t related to Phineas Flynn.

In the end, though, everything was back to normal and the siblings all headed off to bed. However, Candace had only been trying to sleep for a few minutes when her younger brother walked in. She frowned. “What’s up?”

Phineas sighed. “Ferb is snoring again.”

Snoring people could be very aggravating and Candace knew having fun at her boyfriend’s expense wasn’t the best for their relationship. Yet it was so amusing to think that Ferb, quiet Ferb who barely said a sentence during the day, unconsciously produced enough noise to keep Phineas awake. She snorted and made a hand gesture. “Continue.”

Her redheaded brother nodded. “So I was wondering, can I sleep with you instead tonight? It’ll just be for one night, of course, and we are dating right now… should be fun to have a sleepover.”

Candace stiffened. “Phineas, you do remember the slippery slope, don’t you?”

Phineas frowned. “Yeah… what about it?”

His sister sighed. “I meant that sleeping together might not be a good idea. It could get a little awkward now that we’re not just siblings, but lovers as well.”

“It’ll be fine” Phineas reassured her. “I know the slippery slope bothers you, but we are still siblings who’ve only just started dating each other. What did you think I’d do?”

The answer, if she was honest, was probably nothing, so Candace sighed and rolled over to one half of the bed, making room for her brother to join her. It was a little awkward, but fortunately she’d always had room enough to fit two people in her bed. She gave him his own pillow and watched him get settled in. “Think you can sleep this way?”

“As long as you don’t start snoring the way Ferb did, I’ll be fine” Phineas replied, smiling.

“Tell you what?” Candace smirked. “If I do, I’m officially giving you permission to whack that pillow into my face and wake me up. I can’t guarantee I’ll still remember giving out that promise, though.”

“Well, I should be fine as long as I’m asleep before then” Phineas replied. “I never have trouble sleeping through the night – it’s falling asleep in the first place that gives me trouble.” He kissed her on the cheek. “Good night, Candace. And uh…” He patted her hand. “Gitchee gitchee goo.”

Candace frowned. “I’d been meaning to ask you… was that deliberate two years ago? The entire romancey atmosphere around our song?”

“Well, I was only ten years old” Phineas replied. “And there was no way in which I could have known beforehand that you would win the contest. But judging from the fact that I loved to sing with you so much, I think there’s a good chance I was already falling in love with you at that point, even if I hadn’t realized it yet. But then again, loving you has always come easy to me.”

Candace froze, touched by Phineas’ words but suddenly being reminded of the previous night. She remembered her brother saying that he loved her, not just as a sister but as more than that – that he was _in_ love with her. She hadn’t been sure enough of her feelings yet then to return the favor, and although over the past day they had been dating successfully, she still hadn’t returned the words.

Was she in love with her brother now? It was something she couldn’t say lightly, and the thought gave her no end of trouble. If she really wanted to have a relationship with Phineas, she needed to be able to say that she was in love with him, right? If she couldn’t do that, she’d just be dragging things out. And as enjoyable as this thing would be in the short term, she wouldn’t be able to weather whatever happened in the long term because the foundations just weren’t solid enough.

She liked Phineas a good deal, and yes, judging from the past two days she probably also had some romantic feelings for him. But was she in love with him? Could she say gitchee gitchee goo to him the way he had to her? She didn’t know.

She really didn’t know.

Candace sighed, glancing over at her brother who had already fallen asleep. He was lying there so peacefully, and as she absentmindedly ran a hand up and down his arm she decided that she should probably follow his example. She’d find out whether she truly loved Phineas like that soon enough. She closed her eyes, and started counting sheep.


	18. “It's not what he doesn't say, it's how he doesn't say it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Phineas, "It's No Picnic". 
> 
> Um... I think I had this title picked for this chapter some time in advance but looking back I can't really see why I chose this one in particular. I mean, it's not that relevant to the chapter. 
> 
> On a more general note, I've finished writing this story, and it clocks out at 108.563 words and 211 pages (at the moment; rewrites are always ongoing, but won't add too much more). To give you a sense of perspective, this chapter ends at page 124.
> 
> Oh, and please read and review! This chapter aims to show that although Phineas and Candace are now together, that doesn't mean that every problem in their relationship (and in the various other relationships between the main characters of our story) is instantly gone.

The first thing that tipped Ferb off to the fact that something was definitely up between his siblings (again) was the fact that there was no pillow to whack him in the face that Sunday morning. Instead the greenhead groggily looked over to find his brother’s bed empty, the blankets casually tossed aside the previous evening but with no sign that its occupant had returned. That meant that Phineas had either been kidnapped or had gone off to find a place to sleep somewhere else. And Ferb could easily guess where his brother would have chosen to go first.

The sound of his mother’s footsteps coming up the stairs spurned him into action and he jumped out of his bed, quickly getting out of his room and towards Candace’s. It was too late, though. His mother had already found his siblings, sleeping together in the same bed.

And she was cooing over it.

“Aren’t they adorable?” she gushed softly as she noticed him. “You stay here and keep an eye on them, I’ll go get my camera. We need to keep this moment for later.”

Before he could say anything Linda Flynn-Fletcher rushed off, leaving Ferb the only one still standing in the doorway to his sister’s room. He took the time to inspect the sleeping forms of his siblings. Phineas was lying on his back for a change, his head faced upwards, while Candace was lying next to him on her right side, facing towards him. What he noticed more strongly was the way their arms were placed below the sheets, though, the odd placement giving him good reason to believe that his brother and sister were holding hands.

Maybe this was getting out of control.

Linda came back a moment later, before Ferb had made his mind up about doing anything. She took a few pictures of Phineas and Candace and although Candace merely stirred, mumbled something under her breath and slept on, it was enough to wake up Phineas. Fair enough – this was around the time Phineas usually got up and tried to beat his alarm clock to the punch, so… “Mom?” he asked. “Ferb?”

“Ssh” Linda said, a smile still on her face. “Don’t wake your sister. It’s so sweet that you decided to sleep with her last night – she really needs all the support she can get. Or was this about Ferb’s snoring again?”

“I… mostly the latter, actually” Phineas murmured. He shuffled around underneath the blankets, and Ferb noticed the connection between his siblings go slack.

Linda nodded. “Still, you’re being a great brother. Remember, it’s pancake time in an hour.” She went off, which left just Phineas and Ferb in the room with their sleeping sister. The former carefully swung his legs over the side of the bed, got up and walked over towards his brother. “No need to worry, bro” he said softly. “Nothing crazy happened. You didn’t really think anything would, did you?”

Ferb wasn’t sure what he would have answered to that, but before he could Candace’s cell phone rang. Phineas gasped and snatched the offending device off her nightstand, pressing the incoming call button to end the noise. Fortunately, it seemed to be quick enough to keep from waking Candace. Unfortunately, this meant Phineas now had to answer whoever was on the other end.

“Hello?” he said tentatively, taking a few steps away from his sister’s bed. “Oh, hi Stacy… yeah, this is Candace’s phone. She’s still half-asleep and I didn’t want to wake her up… yeah, I am in her room. Is something wrong?... you just wanted to check on Candace? Don’t worry, she’s fine… what, Perry walked over to your place again? Sheesh, I wonder if that’s where he goes to all the time when we don’t see him around… okay, I’ll come and fetch him later… no, there’s nothing strange going on, I mean, I don’t know what gave you that idea, I mean seriously, I don’t know, how would I know about that… okay, just a gut feeling, I understand… yeah, see you later too. Bye Stacy!” He shut off the phone and turned back to Ferb. “That was Stacy.”

The quiet brother rolled his eyes. He had figured that much out by himself already, thank you very much.

“I don’t know what she wanted, though” Phineas mused. “Besides the Perry thing, obviously. Maybe we should get Stacy and Ginger a basket where they can house him in when he comes over, he obviously likes it there and I don’t want them to have to take care of our pet for us.”

Of course Phineas was going to focus on that. Ferb took the phone from his brother and put it back on Candace’s nightstand, then motioned towards their sister.

Phineas frowned. “What? I told Mom the truth – you snore! That’s why I went to sleep with Candace… okay, and because I wanted to hang out with her. But since I like her and she likes me back now, I don’t see why you would still have a problem with that.” He shook his head. “I guess that’s your business, though. Let’s just get out of here before Candy wakes up, and start working on something new. I’ve had some amazing ideas that I can’t wait to tell you!”

And just like that, Phineas was back to normal, but his words still lingered in Ferb’s mind. Maybe Phineas had a point, he figured. His brother’s actions had lead to a few incidents here and there, but none of them had really ended in disaster. Couldn’t he just let go and see what came of it? He didn’t have to watch over Phineas all the time…

Ferb had to admit that the thought of letting Phineas go and seeing him doing all kinds of stuff with Candace did kind of sting. It’d be just like the first days in his new family, when Phineas had been as kind and welcoming as he would always stay but had still hung out with his sister a lot because they’d shared four years together before he came in. He had managed to make up for it in no time and gained his first real friend, but Phineas had always retained a soft spot for Candace – softer than he could ever have imagined, as he knew now.

He was probably exaggerating his concerns. Phineas would never quit inventing over his new relationship, and as long as he kept inventing he would remain at Ferb’s side. And to be fair, it wouldn’t be right for him to deprive his brother of a romantic relationship just because he wanted to keep his old friend at his side. Not to mention that Phineas… was Phineas. He’d never really shut someone out even after getting a new friend (or in this case, a wholly new layer of relationship with Candace), and certainly not Ferb. Their bond was much too strong for that.

The events of the next days both proved him right and wrong. Phineas just kept on coming up with new ideas to have a good time, and both at home and at school he was the same way he’d always been – optimistic, naïve and oblivious but undoubtedly brilliant. Regardless, he did spend more time naturally gravitating towards Candace. He took her out to eat ice cream together, they played Skiddley Whiffers between the three of them but with Phineas’ attention mostly being on her, and they shared the occasional kiss. And even though Ferb Fletcher would never say it to anyone, he had to admit that his siblings were actually pretty cute together.

One of the stranger things throughout all that was Candace’s busting behavior. Although she continued her classic charade of trying to get them in trouble (and it continued to fail) some of the energy gradually disappeared, and after about a week Ferb was sure she was just going through the motions. It didn’t really seem to matter anymore whether she succeeded in busting them – in fact, he noticed her becoming fearful of success once – but she couldn’t just give it up, so she kept going. And throughout all that, her relationship with Phineas grew stronger.

Ferb wondered whether his bond with his stepbrother was loosening a little, but he didn’t really get the time to mull over that question. He had to study hard, pay attention to Isabella’s occasional ramble about Phineas, and of course keep an eye on his siblings. It was fairly impressive how they were handling their new relationship, only acting like a couple when they were alone, but regardless of that the dangers remained alive. And those dangers became readily apparent as Phineas and Candace’s relationship progressed.

The first and most obvious threat was of course their parents. Although Linda Flynn-Fletcher was one of the most oblivious people in the world, the news that she had walked in on them sleeping together rattled Candace so much when Phineas told her about it that she refused to take chances any longer. They only really did something to show romantic affection when their parents were out, and for the rest of the day Candace tried to ignore the tension that would occasionally pop up as she either avoided her brother or tried to hang out with him as just a friend. Both ideas didn’t exactly help their relationship, but it persisted nevertheless.

The second threat was pretty much everyone in public. Whether it would be at the ice cream shop, the bowling rink, the movie theater, the mall or wherever they could go, his siblings would relax a bit and be themselves together only for someone they knew to walk by meaning that any kiss had to be cut off immediately. It was stressful, Ferb could see as much, and it made Candace nervous. And yet, despite all that, he still sensed she had a better time with Phineas than she’d had the last weeks freaking out over Jeremy. Maybe it was because she felt that in this new situation with Phineas, they were in it together, while freaking out over Jeremy was something she had done all by herself.

The third and final threat, however, was Isabella Garcia-Shapiro. The girl still came over occasionally to flirt with Phineas, and although the latter was unaware of her flirtations he did know they had to be exceptionally careful not to have the girl from across the street find out. After a few near-misses, Candace instead resolved to take him out for ice cream whenever Isabella came over, which actually worked in that Isabella soon got over the fact that Phineas wasn’t there. And one Wednesday afternoon, she decided to hang out with his brother instead.

Talking to Isabella was… nice, Ferb supposed, even if he continued to try to avoid the feelings he had towards her. He couldn’t risk the chance that Phineas and Candace would break up and he would end up in the way of his brother’s happiness, not to mention that Isabella didn’t see him in that way. Instead, he remained quiet as she continued to talk about Phineas but also discussed school and her friends and lots of other things. Throughout the games they played that afternoon, Ferb could sense she was trying to find out more about his secrets, so he did what he did best – he kept his mouth shut. The result was that Isabella wound up knowing exactly as much as she knew at the start of the conversation by the time the afternoon was over… and then Phineas and Candace came home.

Being engrossed in a game of Twister with Isabella in his and Phineas’ bedroom meant that Ferb had barely even heard his siblings’ approach until he heard the chuckling outside the door. “That part was fun.”

“Probably” his brother’s voice admitted. “Although I still wish I hadn’t fallen into the moat.”

“Come on, you liked the refreshment. And it gave me the chance to save you and be your heroine for once.”

“You’ve _always_ been my heroine, Candace.”

“Phineas, that’s so cliché and so sweet… here, let me reward you for that.”

Ferb had heard enough and decided now would be the best time to have a spontaneous coughing fit, both to cut off the couple outside and to stop the confusion and suspicion growing on Isabella’s face. From the sounds outside the door at least the first part had worked, and by the time he walked over and opened it Phineas and Candace were on opposite ends of the hallway.

“Oh, hi Ferb” Phineas said awkwardly. “Hi, Isabella. I… I’m going to get something to drink from the kitchen. Nice to see you again!”

Isabella hollowly stared after him for a moment before turning to Candace. “What were you guys doing back there?” She demanded. “Since when do you think Phineas is sweet and give him rewards for saying nice things? And why are _you_ his heroine?”

Candace put on the façade of a smug teenager, although Ferb could easily tell she was struggling with the shock of realizing that Isabella had listened in. “Maybe because I’m such a great sister” she boasted easily. “And he’s my brother. Can’t I give him a compliment for once? Don’t you want us getting along?”

Isabella frowned. “Well… sure…”

“Okay, then why don’t you go downstairs and hang out with your beloved crush.” Ferb could practically hear the sneer towards Isabella’s obsession in her voice at that. “Ferb and I have something to discuss, okay?”

The Fireside Girl stared after her, but still cautiously began to walk towards the stairs. “O… kay?”

“Good to hear. Bye Isabella!” Candace shut the door and walked over to Phineas’ bed where she sat down and let the sigh she’d been holding over the past half a minute out. “That was way too close for comfort, Ferb. If you had coughed a few seconds later, Phineas and I would have been kissing and I have no idea how I would have explained _that_ to Isabella.” She sighed. “I… I don’t know. We had a really great time today, but then coming back and seeing this just puts my blood pressure right up from where it was and my nerves back to the wracking point. It feels like this little incident just ruined the day for me. The week, even. And there are so many of those incidents…”

Ferb frowned. “Have you talked to Phineas about that?”

Candace gave him a look. “Of course not. He’s the most cheerful guy on the planet, and he’s my boyfriend. He deserves to be happy, and he’s not going to be happy if I keep coming to him with all these trivial problems. I just need to get through them one way or the other.”

Ferb sighed. Why could Candace never see the forest before the trees? “You didn’t tell Jeremy these things because you were afraid that he wouldn’t want to date you anymore” he said astutely. “You don’t have to worry about that with Phineas. He’s a nice guy who will accept anything you have to tell him as long as you’re polite and honest about it. I’d strongly recommend you to raise the matter with him and try to find a mutually satisfactory solution.”

Candace frowned. “That’s my business and my business alone. I’ll determine what I want to tell Phineas.”

Ferb sighed. As usual, Candace was being stubborn and irrational. She had no problem confiding stuff in Stacy, or asking Phineas for help on any other matter… why couldn’t she just tell their brother how she felt? He suspected it was just something subconscious from having tried to conceal her feelings from Jeremy for so long, but figured that if he told her that she’d flip out at him and still refuse to listen, so… he blinked at her, as if to say ‘Then what?’

“You mean, what am I going to do now?” Candace tried to decipher. Ferb blinked affirmatively. “Just act as if nothing happened. As long as nothing is going on, I’m perfectly fine – it’s only immediately after those incidents that I become a wreck. I can date Phineas without going crazy, it’ll just take me some time to… get settled, that’s all.”

She got up and walked out of the room, Ferb staring after her with a concerned look on his face. He had hoped against hope that now that Phineas and Candace were together, all this drama would be over, but apparently it wasn’t. Maybe it wasn’t too bad yet, but he had seen something that appeared to be small rapidly spiral out of control with Candace and Jeremy only a few weeks ago.

Ferb pondered the similarities and differences of the two relationships. He was absolutely confident that Phineas loved Candace, and fairly sure that Candace loved Phineas back. He also knew his brother was an infinitely patient guy who would never hold Candace’s insecurities against her and who could wither her craziness even better than Jeremy could. And Candace wasn’t as insecure about herself to Phineas as she had been to Jeremy – yes, she was withholding the extent of her current issues with being caught from him, but that was an exceptional case and even there she hadn’t ruled out telling him eventually if it got to be too much. Those were all good signs, right? Or weren’t they? Ferb didn’t know anymore.

The only thing he did know was that he was kind of having second thoughts about ever getting involved in their business in the first place.


	19. “Something weird's going on 'round here, gotta get me some evidence”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: "You're Not Ferb" (song), "Invasion of the Ferb-Snatchers". 
> 
> New chapter, featuring everybody's favorite oblivious Fireside Girl. (I'm guessing. Maybe you prefer another oblivious Fireside Girl, what do I know. I mean, there are a lot of Fireside Girls out there, all with varying levels of obliviousness. And Candace is technically a Fireside Girl too, isn't she? I for one definitely prefer Candy over Izzy... but I digress.) 
> 
> So like I said, a chapter from Isabella's POV as she hangs out with Phineas and Candace, not realizing the former already has a girlfriend. Awkwardness ensues. Please review!

As had become more and more the norm over the last few weeks, Isabella had returned home from the Flynn-Fletchers that Wednesday with the impression that something was not quite right.

Both Phineas and Candace had acted incredibly weird towards each other and to her, and it didn’t take a genius to conclude that they were hiding some kind of secret from her, along with Ferb. The thought upset her, because she was their friend, wasn’t she? Not to mention that she would eventually get together with Phineas, so didn’t that mean he owed it to her not to have secrets? Of course, she couldn’t exactly tell him that…

Well, Isabella deduced privately one Saturday morning, there was only one way to find out what the Flynn-Fletcher siblings were up to, and that was spending more time with them. Not with Ferb, as she had discovered by now that he wouldn’t let anything slip which was frustrating to the point that she was dreaming about him by now. (She couldn’t recall the exact contents of the dreams after waking up, but given Ferb’s presence there she presumed they had to be about the whole sketchy affair at his house.) As nice as hanging out with Ferb could be, if she wanted to get to know something about the whole business she’d have to pry it out of Phineas and Candace.

Thus, the Isabella that walked over to her neighbors’ house that particular morning was one who had a plan in mind. Phineas had taken his sister out for ice cream several times over the past weeks, so why wouldn’t a third person be able to join them? Maybe if she accompanied them for a few hours, they would let something slip… and in any case, it might be good practice for when she herself would one day go on dates with Phineas. In that idea Candace’s presence would be a distraction, but a manageable one.

She opened the gate and looked inside to see her crush and his stepbrother building some giant aquarium of sorts. “Hey boys, whatcha doing?”

Phineas looked up, and he and Ferb both gave her a friendly wave. “Morning, Isabella. Ferb and I are building a giant aquarium! Later today, we’re planning to use it to domesticate sharks and other usually non-domesticable water creatures. But I promised Candace we’d be having ice cream in the park first, and she should be down here any minute now.”

“That’s cool!” Isabella replied. “Can I join you?”

There was a brief flicker of uncertainty across his face, but then Phineas grinned. “Of course! The more, the merrier, right? I’m not sure whether Candace would agree, though.”

Isabella felt like she should have been happy at Phineas’ near-instant acceptance of her proposal, but she couldn’t focus on it because of the way Ferb was staring at her at that moment. The expression on his face was… well, it wasn’t exactly hostile, but it wasn’t friendly either, and mixed with a healthy dose of ‘what are you up to’. She shrugged at him and he eventually broke their gaze, but it still made her feel uncomfortable. As if she was doing something she shouldn’t be doing by going along with Phineas and Candace.

 _Nonsense, Isabella_ , she told herself. _You’re just going to get ice cream with the love of your life and his sister. Maybe there’ll even be an opportunity for romance. There’s nothing weird about that._

Candace came walking into the backyard a moment later. “Morning Phineas, Ferb.” She ruffled her biological brother’s hair. “You ready to go to the park?”

“You bet!” Phineas replied, smiling. Isabella noticed his smile faltering as he turned towards her, though. “Um, Izzy asked whether or not she could come along and join us this one time.”

Candace tensed up and gave her brother a look, but eventually nodded. “I guess I couldn’t really raise any objections to that” she said softly, a strange tinge of regret in her voice. “You ready to come right now, Isabella? If not, you can just stay with Ferb and we’ll do this some other time…”

“No, I’m ready” Isabella replied, wondering what was up with her substitute-older sister. “I would have done nothing but hang around here until you guys were done anyway.” She pointed at the water basin. “Are you sure _you’re_ ready, though?”

Candace frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t you need to bust Phineas and Ferb?”

Candace blinked and stared both at the project in front of her and at the boys for a while. “I… uh…” she began, obviously in deep internal turmoil. “I’ll just…” She looked at Phineas and the two exchanged a glance Isabella couldn’t quite catch. “I’ll just go back and do that later today. I mean, you guys aren’t even done building yet right now, and I can’t very well show Mom the unfinished project, can I?”

“Good point” Phineas agreed. “Well, with no further reason to lag behind, I guess we’re off to the park! You can take care of yourself out here, can’t you Ferb?”

His stepbrother gave him a thumbs-up, and Isabella found herself looking in-between the two brothers for as long as she could as she followed Phineas and Candace out of the garden. There really was something deeper going on here, but she couldn’t tell what.

Shrugging, she followed her friends as they went to the park. Their dialogue with each other was entirely normal – in fact, it was almost a little too normal in that it didn’t concern any major issues, just trivial things like the weather, Phineas and Ferb’s invention, whether they had enough money on them… Isabella tried to steer the conversation in a different direction, wondering out loud whether something strange was going on at their household, but Candace easily defused that bomb by saying that there was always something strange going on at their house. And, from the resolute undercurrent in Candace’s voice, Isabella knew that would be that. There’d be no further clarification.

They got to the ice cream vendor and selected a table. It might have been autumn by now, but the weather was still relatively mild, mild enough for them to be able to sit outside. It made Isabella smile. She didn’t know whether she’d get anything out of them or even notice any more weird behavior, but at least she would be eating ice cream with her crush. His sister’s presence would just be par for the course.

“So, what’ll you have, Candace?” Phineas asked his sister.

“Hmm…” Candace replied. “I’ll take vanilla, thanks.”

Phineas beamed at her, and then turned to Isabella. “And I’ll have chocolate, so what are you having, Isabella? Chocolate, vanilla, rocky road…” He transformed into a centaur. “Or would you rather ride into the sunset with me?”

Isabella grinned and pulled her arms around his neck. “I thought you’d never ask!”

“Well, hop on then!” Centaur Phineas told her. “We’ve wasted far too much time here already. Now at last we can be –”

The sound of someone scraping their throat cut him off. Isabella, who had already climbed upon her centaur crush’ back, turned sideways to see Ferb standing there, dressed in a black tux and wearing a tie. “Ferb? What are you doing here, right in the middle of this moment with Phineas?”

“He’s disturbing our true love, that’s what he’s doing” Centaur Phineas said in a decidedly irked voice.

In response, Ferb simply shrugged and held up a bouquet of the prettiest and most varied mixture of flowers Isabella had ever seen in the world. It momentarily took her breath away and she struggled to respond. “Ferb, did you get all that for me?” He nodded. “Thank you, thank you so much! But… why?”

“I’ll tell you why – he wants to intrude on us, my dear!” Centaur Phineas dramatically exclaimed. “Well, I am not going to stand for it!” He moved up to his hind legs, almost knocking Isabella straight off his back, and used the strength of his upper legs to punch his brother in the stomach. Ferb fell over and winced in pain.

“Ferb!” Isabella jumped off Phineas’ back and rushed over to comfort her friend. “Are you okay?” The silent boy simply groaned in pain. “I – I don’t understand! Why did you do this?”

“Because you are mine, Isabella!” the centaur proclaimed. “You shall be the only thing that is left on my mind anymore, just like I have been on yours! I shall never invent nor talk to any member of my family again, just to be with you, my love – except it seems like I need to make one exception to that rule yet.” His forelegs transformed back into arms and, grabbing some tools and material out of nowhere, he rapidly started constructing a small device. “It seems to me that you shan’t be truly happy until you have forgotten him, and he has forgotten you and me, so that there will be no one left but the two of us!”

“I – no!” Isabella stared at her favorite brothers in horror. “You can’t do that, Phineas! He’s your brother! You love him! I love him – or at least, I care a great deal about him!”

“I’m afraid you’re too late, Isabella” Phineas replied, holding up the box and activating it. “Brace yourselves!”

Isabella gasped and tried to shield herself from the light, leaning over Ferb so the poor wounded boy would at least have some protection from the amnesia ray. “Please don’t do it, Phineas!” she gasped. “Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it…”

“Don’t do what, Isabella?” Phineas wondered out-loud.

Isabella blinked and looked up to see her friend crouching over her, looking just a bit upset. “You mean, don’t get chocolate ice cream? But… but I love chocolate!”

“Are you okay, Isabella?” Candace said frowning. “For a moment there, it looked like you were so out of it that you wouldn’t have even noticed if Phineas and I started ki…” She bit her tongue and frantically looked around. “um, …killing that toad! You know, throwing rocks at him and all that.”

Isabella dully nodded, wondering why Candace was so hysterical about such hypothetical scenarios. Not to mention that she wasn’t big on toads – but from the way Phineas held his sister’s hand and patted her back, it was apparently traumatic enough for them. Not that Candace’s problems were on the forefront of her mind right now, of course. “So…” she awkwardly spoke up, trying to find a way to make them forget about her recent journey into Phineasland. “I’ll have strawberry, please.”

Just like that, the tenseness appeared broken – emphasis on appeared. As Phineas handed over the money to the ice cream vendor and Isabella tried to give him a charming smile as thanks for paying for her, she only got a distracted look in return. The Flynn siblings sat down at their table, and Isabella rushed to join them. And although they all looked at each other and Phineas seemed to retain some of his old up-beat attitude, there still lingered a tension in the air as neither said anything and just focused on licking his or her ice cream.

“So…” Isabella finally spoke up. “This is nice, isn’t it? Great ice cream, mild weather… although it might just be the company I’m having.” She winked at her crush.

Phineas smiled back. “Aww, Izzy, I’m glad you like having us around so much.” Yup, oblivious as usual. “But I don’t think this is really the best ice cream we ever had. That honor goes to the ice cream we had on the moon. Remember that episode?”

“I don’t recall ever having ice cream on the moon” Candace pondered. “I’m sure I would recall something like that… but then again, we have gone out to space so many times that it would be hard to remember them all.”

“If you weren’t there with us then, we should definitely go have space ice cream again sometimes” Phineas replied. “I think Ferb said the cows should still be on the moon and, presuming the atmosphere has developed as we presumed it would, they’ll be able to produce fresh ice cream for us.”

Candace smiled. “I like that idea.” She briefly glanced at Isabella and then back at her brother. “Would that be just the two of us?”

Phineas blinked. “Well, I hadn’t really thought of that, but we could just go together if you wanted that” he said. “As a matter of fact, I rather like the idea.”

Candace nodded, taking a long lick of her ice cream and leaning back into her chair. “Yeah. That would be… nice.” She frowned. “It still bothers me that I can’t recall what happened last time, though. Then again, we have been going through rough patches lately and that keeps you preoccupied.”

Isabella looked at them and frowned, wondering why the conversation between her and Phineas had so easily derailed into one between him and Candace. Well, that just meant she had to come up with an excuse to intervene. “Didn’t you stay here on earth because you had to cook something with Stacy?” she spoke up. “You wanted to… wait, I remember! You were cooking lamb-something or another for Jeremy!” Her eyes widened as she realized what she’d just said and she immediately began to stutter apologies. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to bring him up again and evoke all these fresh memories, I just…”

“It’s okay, Isabella” Candace replied, though her attention was mostly on her brother. “I’m pretty sure I’m over Jeremy by now.”

Although the tone of voice made it clear enough that Candace was completely honest here, the news was still strange enough that Isabella was wondering whether to question it before the sound of sweet, childish laughter cut through her thoughts.

“That’s great to hear, Candace” little Suzy Johnson said as she walked up to their table. “Because I happen to know he’s forgotten all about you too.”

The venomous tone in the girl’s voice caught both Isabella and Phineas off-guard, but Candace didn’t even flinch. “Suzy” she growled softly. “Aren’t you concerned with keeping up your image of an innocent little girl in front of other people?”

Suzy shrugged. “Not anymore now that it doesn’t matter whether I can keep you away from Jeremy or not” she replied simply. “Jeremy is and forever will be mine, and it’s good to see you finally came to your senses and realized that.”

“Is that what you walked over to me for?” Candace replied. “Gloating? Because I said I was over your brother. You can’t hurt me anymore.”

Suzy gave her an innocent smile. “I just needed to make sure you knew I’d won. Jeremy is too good for you. He’s too good for anyone, including that Vanessa girl he’s hanging around with now. I will always be his favorite girl.”

“You cut that out right now!” Phineas exclaimed. Isabella could see a mixture of confusion and genuine anger on his face. “Candace and Jeremy broke up over mutual differences, and definitely not because Candace wasn’t good enough for him. Candace is a great person, and you’re the one who seems to be the jerk!”

His sister put a hand on his. “Don’t worry, Phineas” she said soothingly. “I’ve got this. So, Jeremy is seeing Vanessa Doofenshmirtz now?”

Suzy folded her arms and nodded. “That’s right. Oh, he claims they’re just friends, but I’ve heard enough of that from you to know that it’s always a lie when girls say that. No, this Vanessa, whoever she is, wants my brother, and she’s not going to get him.” She frowned. “Say, why do you know her last name? You two are not in cahoots, are you?”

“Oh, no” Candace replied. Was it Isabella’s imagination, or did Candace actually look… amused at this? “I didn’t know anything about how close Vanessa and your brother had gotten. Well, I’m sure you’ll have an interesting time trying to get rid of her. Be sure to meet up with her father sometimes, I’m sure he’d just love to hear what you’ve got planned for her.”

Suzy stared at her. “Maybe I’ll just do that” she replied angrily before storming off into the park. Candace looked after her and gave her a wry sigh. To her surprise, Isabella saw that her earlier estimation was correct. Candace didn’t look at all that upset, not anymore. More than ever she wondered what had happened to cause that.

Phineas put a hand on his sister’s shoulder. “Candace, I’m sorry I never took your complaints about Suzy seriously” he said, sighing. “I mean, I knew you weren’t lying, but I just couldn’t really believe it because I’ve never seen her act like that before. How can a person be so mean to anyone?”

Candace gave her brother a gentle smile. “Don’t fret about it. It’s in the past now, and well, I could have always reached out to you on my own. I guess I was just too stubborn to do that.”

Phineas leaned in and hugged her. “You know Ferb and I would have been there for you, right? If you ever really needed us, you could have asked for our help. And if Suzy ever bothers you again, we could totally make something that would stop her permanently.”

His sister hugged him back. “You know, I can take care of myself” she said teasingly. “But thanks anyway.”

“Uh, guys?” Isabella said dryly. “I think your ice cream cones are melting. They’re also dripping all over your clothes.”

Phineas and Candace awkwardly separated and furiously resumed eating their ice cream, but for Isabella it felt like something had changed. Although she couldn’t quite put her finger on it, she knew that this was another sign of the weird behavior the whole Flynn-Fletcher family had been displaying lately. Why had Phineas and Candace gotten so close suddenly? And perhaps more importantly, could she pick up pointers from Candace so she too could get that closeness with Phineas too and perhaps finally achieve the relationship she wanted?

For the rest of the day, that was what Isabella tried to find out, but she failed miserably. She never saw any real weird thing about the Flynn-Fletchers again and just felt the underlying vibe of weirdness. Furthermore, she just couldn’t get closer to Phineas as every attempt to flirt with him hit a blank wall. It was so incredibly frustrating that he could be so close to his sister but was unable to notice the person who loved him.

The remainder of the day and the shark training back home at the Flynn-Fletchers went almost exactly like it had always gone, and it wore Isabella out somehow. They had a great time, Candace didn’t succeed in busting them (not that she really seemed to try anyway) but by the end everything was still the same as ever and Phineas was just as oblivious as ever. And just as Candace seemed to be worn out by her constant failure to bust the boys, Isabella was worn out by her constant failure to win Phineas’ heart. And by the time she got home, that realization had resulted in her thinking about things.

Maybe she too, like Candace and Jeremy, should… well not give up, never give up, but give it a small break for a while. Not just remaining absent from Phineas and Ferb’s project for a few days, but actually go for weeks without flirting with Phineas. It would give her time to reevaluate her dating technique and – as miserably as voicing that thought made her feel – consider if there was any hope.

Gretchen could be right. Maybe she just didn’t dare to speak up because she was too terrified of rejection. Maybe she subconsciously presumed Phineas would never like her in that way.

And maybe, just maybe she was right in having that thought.

Isabella didn’t go there. She didn’t want to go there, not now, not ever. Because if she would go there…

…then what would there be left?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone wants to say that transition into Phineasland was rather abrupt, just imagine what it must be like for Isabella to go through that on a regular basis. It almost makes one feel sorry for her, doesn't it? 
> 
> But yes, this just goes to show that even Phineasland, the Phinbella heartland in Isabella's mind, is slowly changing and everything she's taken for granted for so long may not be as stable anymore. Isabella definitely has an interesting path ahead of her.


	20. "Did it ever occur to you that we could help you? That we could've made a great team? But I guess you can't have teamwork without trust."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Phineas, "Across the Second Dimension". 
> 
> All right, so in the previous chapters I've hinted that things could not go well forever. And, well, they don't, and in this chapter there are a few particular things in their relationship that Phineas and Candace are confronted with, things that mean that even if their relationship were stronger than Phinbella or Canderemy, it still couldn't hold as long as these issues are present. 
> 
> But I'm rambling about something you'll be able to read to yourself. As this is another major chapter, like the last time (the one in which Phineas and Candace got together) I'm asking you to please examine the chapter carefully and tell me if there's something that you think should be improved on. If you like the chapter, by all means do tell me the parts you did like. And above all, don't worry - even if this chapter may have a downer ending, the story is far from over yet. 
> 
> Finally, I'd like to draw your attention to the fact that I've uploaded some Phineas and Ferb drabbles as well. I don't know if you've looked at them yet, but if you could tell me what you think I'd be very grateful for that.

Phineas Flynn was having the greatest time of his life. And for an incurable optimist like him, that was saying a lot indeed.

He had been dating Candace for three weeks now, and throughout all those weeks it was like a new world had been opened to him. He understood why people were romantic, he understood why people kissed, he understood the fun in having a significant other to hug and to cuddle and to be intimate with on a physical and mental basis. He had deep conversations with Candace, but also simple lighthearted fun, and although his sister still occasionally tried to bust him – but with a lot less enthusiasm than he was used to from her, which slightly bothered him because this was an activity she had always liked to do so why wasn’t she passionate about it anymore? – she spent a lot of time just hanging out with him as well. She taught him many things about romance, while he taught her many things about simply enjoying yourself. He also comforted her when she was upset, and he tried to come up with presents or surprises that would make her smile, just because that simple smile on his new girlfriend’s face was one of the most pleasant things in the world.

Sure, there had been speed bumps on the way. Their parents had nearly barged in on them kissing once, and there had been one incident during his and Ferb’s daily project when he and Candace had had a verbal exchange that was perhaps a little too intimate to remain inconspicuous to Isabella, Buford and Baljeet. And he really had to try in order not to slip up whenever he was with someone who wasn’t either Candace or Ferb. But as it was, he was still managing it.

And thus, tonight the siblings had decided that it might be nice to really go out again. Not to Martella’s Bar in Adjacent, but to a public dance in a large dome a few cities away. Phineas had asked Ferb along, not because he didn’t understand the romantic intention behind the date but because he wanted Ferb to keep them company and hang out and maybe find a girlfriend of his own. His brother had acted a little strangely about that but he hadn’t particularly minded it, nor had Candace (after he assured her that they would get enough time to themselves as well) and that Saturday night all three Flynn-Fletcher siblings were off to the dance floor.

Phineas might have been oblivious, but he wasn’t an idiot. Even he had noticed Candace getting nervous whenever they were nearly discovered and remaining tense for some time thereafter. Thus, he had decided to redouble his efforts tonight to make her feel as relaxed as possible and to enjoy herself.

For the moment, it looked like it was actually working. Candace was smiling, having a drink, chatting and dancing with him and clearly having fun. Phineas had tried to keep an eye on Ferb as well, who was scouting the dance floor but unfortunately didn’t seem to have found himself a girlfriend yet, but his primary attention was on his sister.

“So…” he finally spoke up during yet another one of their dances. “Having a good time?”

The bright smile on Candace’s face told the story. “What do you think? I’m dancing at one of my favorite bars in the world, to some of my favorite music in the world, with one of my favorite people in the world. What could ever top that?”

Phineas grinned. Now was the moment for his great surprise of the evening. He took out the plastic bag he’d brought along and looked up at his puzzled sister. “I think I have something that just might.” He knew Candace well enough to realize that if this thing wouldn’t be enough to dispel the last negative emotions on her mind, nothing would be.

Candace chuckled, but her eyes betrayed that she was pleasantly surprised. “A present? You shouldn’t have.”

Her brother shrugged. “It’s the least I could do for the only person I’ve ever fallen in love with.”

Candace became nervous at that statement, he could feel it in her hands that were holding his at the moment. The expression on Phineas’ face shifted from joy to concern. “Candy? Is something wrong?”

She relaxed after a few seconds and gave him an awkward smile. “It’s okay, Phineas. I’m fine.”

“I don’t really think you are, Candace.” Phineas patted her on the shoulder, trying to calm down the emotions he knew were raging underneath the surface of Candace’s outward calm right now. “Do you need to talk about something?” His sister’s eyes widened. “Okay, if you don’t want to that’s fine…”

Candace shook her head. “That’s not it” she said, pointing behind him. “Look!”

Phineas turned around and instantly recognized Jeremy’s best friend Coltrane. For the first time in like forever, he felt the urge to yell at something in anger. They had been so close to a perfect night… “Can we move before he sees us?” he asked hopefully.

But it was too late already. Coltrane glanced in his direction, frowned and excused himself to his friends before walking over. Phineas nervously froze up. “Oh, uh, hey Coltrane” he greeted the young man, trying (and failing) to sound casual. “What’s up?”

Coltrane’s frown remained. “Oh, hey Phineas” he replied. “Who are you with?”

That was the last question he had expected. “What do you mean?” Phineas wondered, turning back to his sister. “You _are_ familiar with…”

What the…

“her….”

Was Candace seriously wearing a bag over her head now? His bag?

It felt like forever before he recovered his voice, but in reality it was probably only about four or five seconds. “She must be shy” he offered up, hoping Coltrane wouldn’t pry further.

Miraculously, he didn’t. “I guess so” he replied. “Don’t see why, though – everyone knows there’s only one person you’d be going out with. Strange, though – I really thought I saw some redheaded… oh well. Couldn’t have been.” He patted a thoroughly confused Phineas on the shoulder. “Anyway, if she wants privacy, I can respect that. Say hi to your sister for me, okay?”

He went off, and Phineas was left staring after him for a while before he turned back to his girlfriend and broke into a grin. “That was brilliant, Candace!” he exclaimed. “I never would have…”

His voice caught in his throat as he noticed Candace was shaking. As he put his arm around her, he felt how nervous she was.

“Phineas?” she finally uttered, taking off the bag and returning it to her brother while shiftily staring around the room. Phineas half had his eye on the bag to make sure the object inside wouldn’t break – fortunately he had it wrapped beforehand, so Candy would still be none the wiser – but his main attention remained on his now determined sister. “Come with me to the cloakroom” she said. “We need to talk.”

Phineas confusedly nodded and followed her, sharing a disoriented glance with Ferb, who had no doubt followed the interaction with Coltrane from his spot at the bar. But he stopped thinking of his brother when he walked into the cloakroom and Candace just stared at him. “We can’t go on like this. Something needs to be done.”

Phineas frowned. “What do you mean?”

His sister sighed, sitting down next to the heater. “Don’t get me wrong. I like dating you, and you’re a great boyfriend. But the fact that you’re my brother means we can’t be open about our relationship in public, and one little incident like this can offset an entire evening. I don’t want to constantly have to be on the look-out for people who might be watching us when I’m on a date, and…” She sighed. “We need to think of something. We need to find a way to be secure, or our relationship won’t be secure.”

Her brother sat down opposite her and frowned. “Okay, I know we have had some incidents over the past weeks, but it’s not that bad yet, is it? We just have to be a little more careful and try to think of some new ways to avoid suspicion, but surely those incidents don’t ruin what would otherwise be great dates for you?”

Candace sighed. “Maybe not entirely, but you can’t call them ‘some incidents’ either and think that slight adjustments will end our problems. I’m having a really good time going out with you, but you are my brother and a lot of people just wouldn’t understand or agree with that, Phineas! Mom and Dad, for one, or people like Coltrane tonight… heck, even right now I have to be cautious not to raise my voice so people on the other side of the door won’t hear us!”

Phineas smiled despite himself. Yes, he could see why having to keep her voice down was terrible for Candace.

“And we’re surrounded by people like that! Even if we go to the other ends of the Tri-State Area or beyond, we’d still run the risk of people running into us, not to mention that we aren’t even safe in our own home! I mean, I do have a lock on my bedroom door, but that won’t stop Mom and Dad from _hearing_ us! There are people all around us who could see what we’re doing and it’d only take one of them to blow our cover, which means that we just can’t relax because we have to be on our guard every day, all the time!”

Phineas walked over and gently patted her hand. “You’re exaggerating, sweet – er, I mean Candace.” He blushed even as Candace looked torn between surprise and being flattered. Where had that come from all of a sudden? He proceeded as usual, trying to pretend nothing happened. “It’s not like there are cameras trained on our backyard and watching our every move… uh oh.”

Candace frowned. “What?”

“Irving used to have all these cameras to monitor us, and it just occurred to me that I never really checked whether he removed them.”

Candace froze. “Are – are you saying _Irving_ could have actual _video footage_ of our relationship?!”

Her boyfriend put an arm around her shoulder. “Relax, Candy. I’ll just go over and check – I haven’t been there in a while anyway. Irving is nice, but he’s also just a bit – weird.”

“No argument there” Candace muttered. “But if he _has_ seen us together, is there any chance we could buy him off?”

“…buy him off?”

“Bribe him, Phineas.”

“Oh! Right.” Phineas pondered that for a moment. “Well, I guess I could offer him a lock of my hair. He’s already got one of Ferb’s, so I imagine it would be nice to be able to complete the set.”

Candace frowned. “…do I even want to know how he got that?”

Phineas shuddered. “No. No you don’t.”

“Won’t ask then.” Candace sighed. “But seriously, even if we manage to solve that problem, we still have hundreds of people left who could walk into us being all couple-y at any time!”

“Amnesia-ray?”

“I’d prefer something a bit less ethically ambiguous, Phin.”

Phineas frowned. “Now that you put it that way, it does sound a bit extreme” he replied. “But I wouldn’t know what else to do… do you have any ideas?”

His sister shook her head. “I’m afraid I don’t. Look, maybe… maybe we should just take a break from dating for a while, okay? Just go back to being brother and sister until we figure out some way to keep our secret a secret.”

Phineas’ eyes widened. That sounded way too familiar to what had happened to Jeremy and Candace. “But, Candace…” he stammered. “What about… I mean… what he…” As much as Candace’s statement upset him, he didn’t want to directly remind her of the grief Jeremy breaking up with her had caused her. “…how do you think that makes me feel? What if… a certain someone had told you to do something like that? How would you react to that?”

Candace’s eyes widened, showing she got his point. “Phineas, I didn’t mean it that way! I – you’re my boyfriend, I love you, and I don’t want to break up with you. I just thought that until we found a way to fix this, we could take some time apart because of the risks. And we’d only just be taking a little time out, not more. That’s reasonable, isn’t it?”

Phineas sighed, seeing her point to some extent but unwilling to draw the consequence that they’d have to split for a while in order to resolve it. “I don’t want to have time apart from you, Candace” he said simply. “There’s got to be something we can do…”

“But what, Phineas?” his sister replied.

“Like… I don’t know… maybe we could…” Phineas muttered. “No, that won’t work. Or… wait…” He nervously fumbled under Candace’s stare, well aware that he needed to find something good within the next minutes or they _would_ start to drift apart and no matter what Candace’s intentions were, he didn’t want to face the risks of that situation (and he didn’t think she truly did either). “What if we moved?”

Candace blinked. “What?”

“That could work, couldn’t it?” Phineas suggested. “What if the two of us just went somewhere where no one knows us?”

Candace looked up at him and frowned. “Get real, Phineas.”

“I’m a hundred percent serious right now” Phineas replied, taking out the cell phone he had on him for once and opening the e-book of _Cities and Towns of the United States in Random Order_ Baljeet had given him on his last birthday. “If we no longer had to confront anyone we knew, we could live our life without having to worry about lying! What would you say about… let’s see… Tulsa, Oklahoma? Arlington, Virginia?”

“Phineas…”          

“Plano, Texas? Chula Vista, California? Gravity Falls, Oregon?”

“Seriously, Phineas…”

“Aurora, Colorado? Orson, Indiana? Akron, Ohio?”

“Phineas!” That was enough to move his attention back to his sister. “We can’t just move somewhere! You’re thirteen, I’m seventeen… what if we never see our family and our hometown again?”

Phineas frowned. “I’m sure Mom and Dad would still come over as often as they could, and obviously we wouldn’t be moving right away. As for Danville… Candace, I might love my hometown, but I love you more.”

Candace sighed. “That’s sweet, Phineas. It really is. Just…” Looking at her, it seemed like she was straining her mind to come up with a way to dissuade him from the plan, which sort of upset him. Why was she clinging to her preconceptions so much? He knew she liked them being together, so why was she dismissing every single plan he came up with to maintain their relationship in the face of adversity?

“What about Ferb?” Candace finally continued. “Would you be able to handle life without him every single day? What about Isabella?”

Phineas frowned again. “What is it with you and Isabella? It’s like you bring her up at every single conversation we have about our relationship, or about dating in general! And you’re not the only one – everyone I know gets that weird expression in his or her eyes when they talk to me about Isabella, and that just doesn’t make any sense!”

Candace gave him a wry chuckle. “Seriously, Phineas? You still haven’t figured it out?”

“Apparently not, or I wouldn’t have asked” Phineas replied wittily.

For some reason, Candace was now glaring at him in frustration. “So nothing would give you a clue? Like, say, the hearts in her eyes when she’d walk in every single morning? The way she always wants to spend time with you before everyone else? The way she’s always trying to invite you to movies or restaurants or whatever she fancies? Does none of that ring a bell?”

Phineas flinched under his sister’s glare, trying to realize what she wanted him to come up with. It wasn’t easy, especially since so much of that was new information. Isabella had hearts in her eyes? Isabella always wanted to spend time with him? Sure, that part wasn’t news, she was one of his best friends after all… but did she really prioritize him over everyone else? Was he really the one she primarily invited to public places?

And most importantly, what did it all mean? Why would she do something like that to him? It didn’t make sense… unless…

Finally, Phineas started breathing easier again, and stared at Candace in confusion but also with a sense of realization. “I – I think I get what you mean” he said softly.

Candace nodded patiently, almost as if she was a school teacher waiting for a pupil to come up with the answer to a math test. It irked him a little that it made him feel like he was the little child here, but maybe he really had been missing something obvious for a long time.

“It may just be a ridiculous theory…” he began. “I mean, it’s just a thought, but…”

His sister smiled at him, leaning back against the heater. “But what, Phineas?”

Phineas gave his sister a final uncertain look before deciding to just go ahead and ask the question that was on his mind. It had to be right, hadn’t it? “What if Isabella has been acting that way …”

He took a deep breath.

“What if the reason Isabella has been acting that way is because she’s trying to make Ferb jealous!”

It made sense. It all fit. And yet, the first word out of Candace’s mouth was an undeniably surprised “WHAT?!”

“That makes sense, right?” Phineas replied semi-confidently, wondering why his sister was reacting so strangely to him finally beginning to figure this stuff out. “Isabella is romantically inclined. Ferb likes girls, and he has been interacting much more with Isabella than before lately. And Isabella had that crush on him two years ago, remember? But they’re clearly not dating – if they were, they would have told me. So maybe Isabella thinks Ferb is moving too slow, and she’s been trying to make Ferb jealous by flirting with other guys – including me?” He chuckled uncomfortably. “I mean, I doubt it would work as long as she’s being so inconspicuous about it, but Ferb has always been more perceptive than I am, and if we managed to figure it out, then maybe he…”

He wasn’t sure how he would have finished that sentence, especially since he was trying to come up with something under the stress of Candace’s glare making him think all his conclusions were wrong no matter how sensible they sounded to his ears. It didn’t matter, though, for at that moment, weeks of stress and half-lies took its toll with his significant other, and the words started boiling out of her. And once they started, they didn’t stop.

“IT’S YOU, PHINEAS!” she bellowed. “And that’s the only one it’s always been! All that time you were trying to delude yourself and think Isabella thought of you as just a friend, all that time you made up an entire relationship with Ferb that never existed… all that time, Isabella was head over heels in love with you! And she has been ever since the day she first met you, as everyone in the whole city, everyone in the whole world, everyone in the whole _universe_ could see – everyone, except for you!”

…what?

How? Why? When?

Phineas looked up and traced his sister’s face for any sign, no matter how faint, that she was joking… but there were none. And from her tone of voice, he couldn’t have expected any.

Isabella had a crush on him? All along? Although it did make some of Candace’s odd comments about her fall into place, it fit so badly with everything he had known about Isabella Garcia-Shapiro for all his life that his mind kept trying to reject this. He could barely imagine Isabella as a romantic individual at all, let alone like this…

“So she…” he began, but his mind locked up again, preventing him from getting the words out. “…all along?” he whispered.

From the look on Candace’s face, she already deeply regretted ever steering the conversation in this direction in the first place. She nodded nevertheless. “Ever since you were little kids. Every day she’d go into the backyard, trying to get you to notice her. It always failed.”

Those last words actually made Phineas feel a sense of sympathy for his longstanding friend, but the disappointment was greater as another thing sunk in. “But that means…” He took a deep breath. “That means I never really did know her, did I? All this time I thought she was my friend and she liked hanging out with me and working on my projects, but she never saw me as a friend – she wanted romance from the start!”

“Phineas!” Candace exclaimed. “Maybe it comes as a shock now, but you don’t have to make such a big deal out of it!”

Her brother gritted his teeth. “Well, excuse me for being upset that my best friend is not what she seems! And you knew! You… why? Why didn’t you tell me! You’re my girlfriend, Candace, and even before that you were my friend – I thought that meant there didn’t have to be secrets between us!” He wasn’t angry at her, or even at Isabella, it just – stung.

“Phineas – I –” Candace sighed. “I thought it was something between you and her. That she would’ve wanted to tell you. And _she_ seemed to assume that you’d get together on your own – which was stupid in retrospect, but until you and I got together instead that was honestly my expectation as well!”

Phineas shook his head. “And throughout all this, no one bothered to… I mean, I don’t even….” He clutched his chest, trying to come to grips with the amount of hurt he felt. “I could have been there for her, comforted her, accommodated her, because she’s always been my friend and I care about her! And maybe I would’ve even returned her affections – who knows? I don’t, because she never gave me the _chance_ to know! But instead, she decided not to tell me anything for all these years because she presumed I’d fall in love with her anyway, and that… that hurts, Candace. And you guys knew, but you didn’t do anything because apparently Isabella claiming me for herself was all well and good. But I don’t want to be just someone to be dated because I’m my own person with my own feelings, and that’s why it just upsets me that you never told me any of this!”

Candace defensively glared at him, now clearly upset as well. “Phineas, I couldn’t tell you! Isabella didn’t want anyone to tell you before she herself did… what part of that is so hard to understand? If it had been up to me, of _course_ I would have told you back in the day – maybe it would have ensured you two getting together and made you finally stop building those horrible projects of yours!”

For the second time in less than three minutes, Phineas felt like he’d been kicked in the face. “My ‘horrible’ projects?” he half-stammered.

“Oh, don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about” Candace sneered. “Those obnoxious, dangerous ideas that you and Ferb build every day of summer to outdo me and show the world that you’re _so_ much better and brighter than your older sister, leaving me aspiring to a level that I’ll never be able to match! And then I try to bring in Mom to finally give you guys the punishment you deserve for playing with fire, and then everything disappears before she can even see it, which by now has made her sure that I belong in the nuthouse! But do you ever care? Oh, no. You just ignore whatever my problems are to build something big and impossible and obnoxious again the next day, _every single day, all summer!”_

“You hate our projects?” Phineas exclaimed, his voice skipping at least two pitches. “You – you wanted to _punish_ us for them? I – I…” He took a deep breath and tried to rationalize this, but failed miserably. “ _Who are you?_ ”

Candace blinked, momentarily taken aback by the question. “I’m your sister, of course” she scoffed. “And your girlfriend.”

“Are you really, Candace?” Phineas said softly, leaning against the heater. “Are you really either of that? Because the girlfriend I had didn’t keep secrets from me! Because the sister I knew didn’t hate my work and didn’t try to punish me and, and…” His voice was too wrought with emotion to speak. “If that’s how it’s going to be, if that’s how it’s been, then we are through!”

Candace’s eyes widened. “You’re breaking up with me?” she stammered. This was clearly not how she had imagined this would come about. Fair enough. He never would have seen this coming either.

Phineas sighed. “I can’t date someone I can’t _trust_ , Candace. If you were lying to me all along, if all you ever did the past years was motivated out of a desire to punish us…”

“Phineas, that’s not what it’s like!”

“Then what was it like, Candace?” Phineas asked. The hurt look on his sister’s face was tearing right through his heart, but… he just couldn’t understand. “If you thought what we were doing was dangerous, why didn’t you tell us? And if you ever thought we were doing all of that to spite you… how could you even _think_ that? I love you, I’ve _always_ loved you, so why… why would we… how could we…”

“Don’t be too harsh on Candace, Phineas.” The Flynn siblings swiveled their heads in the direction of the hallway to look at their stepbrother. His usual stoic appearance was still there, but the lines on his face indicated that he, too, felt the strain they were under. “I never quite understood just why she wanted to bust us so badly either, but I do agree with her decision on Isabella’s feelings. She would have never forgiven us had we told you.”

Phineas gritted his teeth. “ _Et tu_ , Ferb?”

Ferb bowed his head. “ _Et ego_ , Phineas.”

The redhead looked at his siblings, trying and failing to imagine them keeping such a major secret from him. He… he didn’t hate them. He could never hate them. But he was immensely disappointed in them. And that hurt perhaps even more.

“I’m going home” he murmured, taking his coat of the rack. “I should still have my bus pass in my pocket somewhere.”

Candace and Ferb exchanged glances. “Phineas, don’t go jumping into any rash decisions…” the former began, rushing over and putting a hand on his arm.

Phineas gave her a wry smile. “I’ll be fine, Candace. And if this does turn out to be a wrong decision, at least it’ll be my _own_ decision. I… I think I’d like that for once, not having others determine what’s right for me. What information I could be trusted with.”

Candace sighed. “We just didn’t want to hurt your feelings” she muttered.

Phineas snorted. “Then why did you try to get Mom to punish me?” Candace cast her eyes down and drew back. “Forget it. Maybe we’ll be able to talk about this someday. Right now, I need some fresh air.” He exited and shut the door solidly behind him. The thoughts just kept racing through his mind as he made his way to the bus stop, all solutions just raising more questions.

Isabella loved him. Had loved him for years. And Candace had never bothered to tell him – nor had she herself, for that matter. How would he be able to look Isabella in the face ever again now that he knew there could be a deeper layer behind everything she said? And then there was the other issue Candace had betrayed his trust on, the one which felt so much worse right now.

Phineas had never quite understood why Candace wanted to bust him and Ferb, or why she could be so passionate and aggressive about it. His preferred explanation – that Candace simply wanted their mother to share in the fun of her sons’ ideas – had been undermined several times when his sister’s behavior was decidedly more hostile than that would justify. Nevertheless, it had never occurred to him to give a negative explanation for that, because… well, because it just didn’t fit. Candace was his sister. She cared about him, and he cared about her. Why would she ever deliberately want to get him in trouble? And this wasn’t just a sibling prank, but it was so much bigger than that. Candace wasn’t out to just get them a slap on the wrist to tease them, but she wanted punishment inflicted for the projects she apparently hated.

And for the life of him, Phineas couldn’t rhyme that with the sister he had always loved so much.

The bus showed up after only a few minutes, and much like his sister only a few weeks ago Phineas was immersed in his thoughts as he headed home. He got back to the house, which was entirely empty – his parents were out again, as part of an ongoing attempt to teach their kids independence. It made the place feel all the more like a tomb.

It made him feel all the more alone.

Phineas walked over to the stairs, awkwardly glanced up to the first floor, and decided that he just didn’t feel like going up right now. Instead, he sat down on the stairs. They felt cold and hard, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything anymore.

A familiar chatter made him tilt his head up. Perry’s unfocused eyes glazed at him from the bottom of the stairs, so Phineas reached down and lifted his pet platypus into his lap, sighing as he gently petted it. “I don’t know what’s going on anymore, buddy” he lamented. “Everything I ever took for granted seems to be falling apart.” He snorted. “It feels more and more like you’re the only one in my life who _hasn’t_ been keeping secrets from me.”

Candace wanted to get him and Ferb in trouble with their parents, rejoicing at their misery. Isabella was not what he had always thought her of being. And no one, not even Ferb, had bothered to tell him about this, because apparently the people around him didn’t trust him or care about him enough to do that.

He gave Perry a final pat before setting him back down and getting up, looking straight towards his room as he made his way there. Right now, going to bed was perhaps the only reasonable thing he could do, as much as his instincts told him he should just sit down and lament all night. Who knew, maybe things would actually look better in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Referencing some other fandoms that I'm familiar with among that list of real and fictional town names, though not including Hill Valley in California because it's my headcanon for some reason that that movie is fictional in the P&F-verse as well.


	21. "I've always told her: Don't ever make Phineas angry. You wouldn't like it when he's angry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Buford, "Mission Marvel". 
> 
> Okay, so after long and careful deliberation, I decided to split this chapter in two parts. You're getting the first now, and the second may be later this weekend. The reason I had such a hard time deciding whether or not to split it (aside from the fact that I only had one title quote) was because the first part is so short and the second is a whole lot longer, but in the end keeping them together would make it just too long compared to all the other chapters in this story, so... yeah. I split it up. 
> 
> What you get instead right now is a short chapter, one which highlights some of Candace and Ferb's flaws and gives them a chance to really talk to each other. Ferb is probably the most talkative here than he's ever been before or will be since in this story, but it was necessary for plot purposes since Candace and Ferb aren't as natural at communicating as Phineas and Ferb are and Isabella and Ferb will be. Not to mention, the sibling dynamic between these two really deserves a chapter of its own, since it's an important yet underrated relationship (Candace and Isabella are the worst offenders when it comes to only talking to Phineas and ignoring his brother in the show, and although in Candace's case that's actually kinda shippy for her and Phineas it's still nice to get her and Ferb to talk every once in a while.) 
> 
> So, not a very inspiring author's note. I guess that's because it's not an incredibly moving chapter either, but it still matters to the general course of the story so don't skip it. Please read and review!

It had happened. Her brother had broken up with her.

Candace supposed she really should have seen it coming – the uneasiness, the discomfort, the way they’d been growing apart over the last few days… and frankly, hadn’t she all but convinced herself that this was for the best? Dating her brother, as fun as it had been, was insane. She simply couldn’t be with Phineas in a romantic fashion. That’s what she had thought the first time the matter came up – was that really only three weeks ago? – and that was what she knew now. He may have drawn her in with his dorky charms, but… it had to stop. And now he himself had brought a stop to it.

So why was she feeling so sad? Why had she argued against him, as if a tiny part of her didn’t want them to break up? If… if her relationship with Phineas was so impossible, so unsalvageable… why hadn’t she embraced its end?

It didn’t matter, not anymore, not right now. They had parted on harsh terms, Phineas’ words had hurt her, and she had clearly hurt him. She hadn’t meant to spill the beans about Isabella’s crush, it had just… slipped out somewhere. But seriously, she knew Phineas didn’t like secrets, and that he would feel betrayed. If his sister had been keeping something so important from him, of course he would freak out. But then there was the other thing, which seemed to have hurt him as much as the crush thing did.

The reason Ferb was staring at her at this very moment.

Her busting.

Candace tried to avoid her stepbrother’s looks, but eventually his eyes boring into her skin couldn’t be avoided forever. “Okay, so I try to get you guys in trouble sometimes. It’s not like you haven’t done anything to deserve it, and the stuff you build is really dangerous. But hey, our relationship was dangerous too, and at least that’s over now. I don’t know what I was thinking to agree to it in the first place… it could never have worked out, no matter how much Phineas would have wanted it to…”

Ferb blinked at her.

“What? Is this still about me trying to bust you guys? Okay, so maybe I tend to overreact to your projects, and some of them are harmless and fun I suppose, but I just can’t stand seeing you being so much better than me at everything, and maybe I should have just told Phineas that rather than let him storm away in the assumption that I only ever had his worst interests at heart and such…”

Ferb blinked again, and Candace groaned. “Oh, come on! I know your tricks, Fletcher, and you’re not going to guilt-trip me by blinking. Maybe what I do isn’t always right, but it’s not like you’re always so perfect either.”

Ferb blinked for the third time, leading to an annoyed sigh from his sister. “Ferb, if you really want to tell me something, you’ve got to stop blinking and start talking. Phineas might be able to distinguish between the blinks for ‘you’ve got a bit of leftover food on your cheek’ and ‘your clothes are on fire’, but I’m not.” She frowned. “ _Are_ my clothes on fire?”

The greenhead chuckled mildly and shook his head. “No, and you’re wrong on two other accounts as well. One, we never try to be better than you or build dangerous things or do anything to give you legitimate reason to bust us, and two, your relationship with Phineas was not as one-sided as you just presented it as.”

Candace frowned. “What do you mean, not one-sided? Phineas’ feelings towards me were totally one-sided! I mean, sure, I accommodated him and he was a great friend, but that doesn’t mean that there was ever true romance in play from my side. And if you guys don’t try to be better than me, then why is that always what ends up happening? Why do you always outdo me at everything, and drive me crazy! And you… you don’t even care! Phineas has an excuse because he’s so freaking blind, but you know Mom wouldn’t like what you get up to, you know how much pain I go through every week, every day when it’s summer, but you don’t tell Mom and Dad, you don’t help me, you don’t tell Phineas anything… you can’t stay in the shadows forever, Ferb! Not only is that bad for you personally, it’s hurting the people around you!”

She had no idea whether her rant had gotten through to her brother just from the expression on his face alone – it was Ferb, after all – but then he nodded. “You have a point, Candace. I _have_ been too passive. I notice what’s going on around me, but I don’t speak up unless anyone does something which might directly affect the status quo – such as Phineas subconsciously acting on his crush on you, or, hypothetically, you busting either of us. I guess I’m more like Phineas than one might think in that regard. As for why I never helped nor hindered you, I figured that your chances of success, truth be told, were low, and that informing Phineas would only make things worse. You can’t tell me I was wrong there. I didn’t act because I was concerned people might end up hurt if I did, and I stick by that thought.”

Candace sighed. “But what about _me_ , Ferb?” she murmured, suddenly feeling rather depressed. Could it be an after-effect of her break-up? “I got hurt emotionally so many times in the process of trying to bust you, it made me feel like the world’s worst failure. Sure, maybe I shouldn’t have done all that, but I… I just don’t understand… I can’t deal with it that you’re always the better siblings and no one takes me seriously, they think I’m just some neurotic, good-for-nothing loser sister who’s probably paranoid or hates her brothers or whatever, and… and…”

She was cut off by Ferb walking over to her and putting an arm around her shoulder. It was strange to see him do that with that emotionless expression still on his face – and frankly, it kind of made her miss that closeness with Phineas – but she appreciated the gesture and smiled at him. “Thanks, bro.”

He patted her shoulder, the ‘you’re welcome’ implicit but clear.

“I don’t know what to do, Ferb” she said softly. “I don’t know what to think. About you guys, and me, and what you can and should do… you think I should talk to someone about that?”

Ferb gestured towards the exit, and Candace squinted. “You mean, I should talk to Phineas?” He nodded. “Wow, got that one right. But that wouldn’t help anyway, would it? He just doesn’t get negative emotions. Considering it took him all this time to figure out that I was trying to bust you guys…” She shook her head. “Ugh, why is it that a guy who can build so many impossible things can be so _stupid_?!”

Her brother contemplated that for a moment. “Maybe he isn’t stupid” he finally concluded. “Maybe he’s just not letting negative thoughts distract him from what really counts. Yes, he now knows you were trying to bust us, but in the end you’ll still be siblings, you’ll just be going through a rough patch. And if the end results would be the same, then maybe Phineas’ mind has a selective obliviousness that makes him not see those things that would never change the relationships in his life but could temporarily disturb them. And that might mean he’s wiser than both of us.”

Candace blinked. “Wow, that’s… that’s deep, Ferb” she muttered. “I guess it even fits. I… I never thought about it like that before. I feel like I’ve been discovering all these new things about Phineas lately that I’d never realized until now…”

She noticed the grin on her stepbrother’s face and blushed fiercely. “And that does not include romantic feelings towards him, because I didn’t have those! Sure, I liked him, still do, but in the end he was only my brother to me and Phineas was the one who had the romantic feelings. Maybe I shouldn’t have led him on so long, but this way it worked too, I guess.”

Ferb smirked. “So you’re seriously going to ignore how relaxed and happy he made you? How he comforted you, and how you looked at him sometimes? Candace, your attraction to him might have been less outspoken than Phineas’ to you, but it was there. It surprised me too, but you returned your brother’s feelings. You shouldn’t try to pretend otherwise.”

His sister clung to the heater, backed into a corner. “I – that’s not true! Sure, I might have thought he was cute once or twice, but that’s just physical appearance and sibling love… I never once told him I loved him in that way, because I couldn’t do it! I mean, because it wasn’t true!” Ferb’s gaze remained unflinching, and she tried to look anywhere but at him. What was this? Why was Ferb doing this? She had been doing such a great job at convincing herself to put all this behind her and now he was trying to convince her that she couldn’t forget those weeks, that she had feelings for Phineas…

…but even if she did, they could go away on their own. She had had feelings for Jeremy, hadn’t she? Strong ones, in fact. And yet, she hadn’t had any heartache anymore over the past three or four weeks. Ignoring the source of those feelings’ disappearance, Candace contently concluded that feelings could disappear, and that meant that even if she felt something towards her little brother right now that would be inconsequential in the long run as long as she convinced herself that this could never be. She told Ferb, who was giving her an inquisitive look, as much.

He wasn’t convinced, but eventually shook his head. “Fine. But you can’t avoid him the way you’ve been avoiding Jeremy, because there is one big difference – he’s your brother, and unless you intend to move out in a matter of months you’ll have to work things out.”

And as her stepbrother, too, left the clothes room, paused in the toilet to get some water from the sink for his sore throat and then headed for the exit, Candace found she had no answer to that.


	22. "Well, I'll probably try to bust you guys... again! And fail... again! And add another link to my summer-long chain of disappointment and regrets."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Candace, "Last Train To Bustville". 
> 
> The new chapter I promised. Candace-related plot development ahead, and already the set-up for a next confrontation is becoming clear. But for now, everything's back to normal, the way it was before that eventful autumn. As if the past twenty chapters haven't happened at all... but can Candace keep that up?
> 
> One note: throughout this chapter, Candace refers a conversation with Phineas we don't get to see. This is because I wrote a drabble about that long before I wrote this chapter, and I didn't want to have too much overlap between the two, but that might mean this chapter could end up being a little confusing. If anyone wants to read the drabble first, it's Chapter 12 of my collection of drabbles (Prompt: "Enemies").

It took Candace about twenty minutes to get home that night. Adjusting to the latest shift in the relationship dynamic in their house unexpectedly took a lot longer.

Over the next day, she made a conscious attempt to avoid her younger brother, knowing the awkwardness between them would simply be too much for either of them to handle. Their parents did seem to pick up on the strange vibe that existed between them, but apparently shrugged it off as a balance to the unusual closeness Phineas and Candace had shown in the previous days, given how Candace usually shifted between being close to her brothers and wanting to bust them quite easily anyway. It baffled her how easily her parents accepted the new status quo in their household without ever seeming to be the wiser about what was truly going on. How oblivious could a person be?

To her and to her siblings, though, the tension was sharper than ever before, although it did ease something later that day after the one real conversation she had with Phineas. His honest concern that she had hated him had made her uncomfortable and she’d immediately reassured him that this was not the case, but besides that the two remained out of each other’s way.

Candace tried to realign her life to the new dynamics. She was no longer Phineas’ girlfriend, which was a good thing, as they could have never seriously been a couple in the first place. This did mean a few days or weeks would follow in which hanging out with her brothers would remain uncomfortable, but there was no real hatred between them and the unease would eventually pass. In the meantime, she should try to focus on more realistic prospects for her future. And one of those was her education.

During the intense end of her relationship with Jeremy and the rocky period in which she had dated Phineas, Candace hadn’t really been able to balance her social life with the pressures of high school, and by now it was showing so much that she feared she wouldn’t even make it to college next year if she didn’t do anything to work harder. So, to reacquaint herself with both her old social life and her life at school and thus kill two birds with one stone, Candace called her best friend that Friday afternoon and asked whether they could study together. Stacy, as it turned out, was entirely willing to grant that request, and the afternoon was filled with basic math and geography problems and some gossiping in-between.

It was all very refreshing and relaxing to hang out with just her best friend again, but occasionally Candace’s thoughts would still drift off to the Phineas situation. It didn’t help that Stacy occasionally asked awkward questions about how she’d coped with no longer dating Jeremy, or what the last phone calls they had made about Phineas were all about. Candace couldn’t blame her friend for wanting to know the answers, but all that stuff getting racked up again just made her uncomfortable.

After they had made some serious headway into the material they needed to cover that weekend, Stacy suggested that they could have some ice cream at the park, and although it instantly reminded Candace of what had happened a few weeks ago she still agreed. She needed to get over Phineas, and taking locations she associated with romantic moments with him and replacing those memories with new, unrelated ones was as good a way to do that as any. Not to mention the weather was nicer than usual for November, which was probably the primary reason there was still an ice cream vendor around at all.

It was unusual to go somewhere with Stacy again, yet also natural, for she was pretty much the only real friend Candace felt she had now. She hadn’t realized just how much time she’d come to spend with Phineas, Ferb and Isabella before everything suddenly became awkward and… well, she missed them. She shouldn’t have revealed Isabella’s secret, not in the way she did at least. But more so, she shouldn’t have treated them as unequal just because they were four years younger. If they were happy and enjoying life at fourteen, maybe, Candace thought, she shouldn’t even want to be mature.

But she was hanging out with Stacy to get away from all kinds of shouldn’ts and couldn’ts and regrets about the past, and at first it even felt like the plan would succeed. It was just her and her friend, walking in the park, having ice cream together and enjoying themselves. But Candace had barely placed their order when she noticed from the corner of her eye that Suzy Johnson was sitting at a table just a few feet away.

The seventeen-year-old froze, and for a moment she contemplated running away as fast as she could, or at least after they’d wrapped up their purchases. But a second look at her old adversary made her reconsider that strategy. Suzy looked… strangely down. She was broken and depressed, and although that could of course change once she noticed Candace again the orange-haired girl wasn’t sure of that. Something had happened to Jeremy’s little sister, and at least for curiosity’s sake she wanted to know who had managed to make her tormentor feel like this.

She gestured for Stacy to wait as she walked over to Suzy’s table and sat down opposite her. The little girl looked up and scowled as she saw her, although with a lot less fury than Candace was used to. “Whatcha doing here, Candace?”

“Buying ice cream” Candace replied. “What are you doing here with such a long face? Aren’t you supposed to be celebrating your triumph and all?”

Suzy glared at her. “Do you care?”

“Not that much, no” Candace admitted. “But I do remember you being assured that you had everything, including Jeremy, under control by the time we last spoke. If that changed in the meantime, that does make me a little bit curious.”

Suzy frowned, and after contemplating it for a moment she nodded, although it was probably more because she needed to tell _some_ one what had happened to her than because she wanted to confide in Candace of all people. “You’re right, I did think I had it all under control” she replied. “I thought Vanessa would be just as easy to scare off as you had been. I did everything to make the first time she came over to our house a disaster for her, and although Mom and Dad were still polite to her when she left I could see she’d made a bad impression. She didn’t do anything to fight back all day, and it made me think that perhaps I wouldn’t need any further effort and she would stay away on her own after this.”

“I’m guessing that’s not what happened” Candace said, a bemused look on her face.

“You wanted me to tell you the story, so don’t cut me off” Suzy replied. “I overheard Jeremy and Vanessa agreeing that she would come over another time, and I decided that she hadn’t learned her lesson the first time after all. So I was preparing for their date up in my room about half an hour in advance when I heard a knock on the door. I went over to open it, and then I found Vanessa actually had the gall to come over to my room! She looked unimpressed and insulted everything for being too girly, so I told her to stay away from Jeremy and that I would always be his favorite girl. And then she pointed a gun at me!”

Candace blinked. “Wait, what?”

“It was terrifying!” Suzy stammered, and for a moment Candace thought she was actually getting choked up. “And it didn’t really look like a real gun, because it had all these dials and stuff, but it kinda did, and I couldn’t do anything because before I knew it she shot it at me, and then I was suddenly in a whole other place and there were _monsters_ there, Candace! Actual monsters, straight out of horror films Mom would never let me watch, and I had to run around for hours trying to escape them! And then suddenly I was back on earth in this purple building, and Vanessa was there, and she told me…” She sighed. “She told me that this was far from the worst that she could dish out at me, that I was lucky she hadn’t allowed her father to get involved yet, and that if I even so much looked at her the wrong way again I’d regret it forever. And after that she sent me home, and I couldn’t even tell Jeremy or Mom and Dad what happened because every time I tried to I froze up! And I don’t mean I was nervous, but I couldn’t utter another word, as if my mouth had been somehow manipulated not to tell anyone, and I… I… I don’t know what to do anymore, Candace. I can’t stop Vanessa from hanging out with Jeremy, and now my life’s going to be a nightmare!”

Candace smiled. “You do realize you’re talking to about the last person who would have sympathy for you.”

Suzy sighed. “I’m going to lose Jeremy. You may have already lost him, but now I’m going to lose him too, and I’ll be all alone without him. I – I don’t know what I’m going to do anymore when my big brother is gone.”

Candace shook her head, unwilling to feel compassion for the girl opposite her no matter how much of a kid she could still be during moments when she wasn’t straight-up psychopathic. “If you want Vanessa to tolerate you, you’ll just have to be nicer to her in the future” she said simply. “And if you want Jeremy to love you, you will have to tolerate Vanessa.”

Suzy stared at her. “Do you really think that would work?” she asked skeptically, though without any of the usual malice Candace associated with her.

Candace nodded. “Sometimes, you need to realize that your siblings have their own lives. You can’t simply keep them under control, and you can’t keep what they’re doing under control either. You have to accept that they make their own choices, and that even though those choices may seem like they’re meant to annoy you…” She sighed. “In reality, they aren’t, and that means that the mature thing to do is to accept their passions as they accept yours, and stop resisting people… and projects… you instinctively reject as a threat but which, if you examine them closely, you could actually enjoy. Only in that way will you get to keep your brother’s love, and having someone out there who understands and loves you is one of the most important things in the world.”

Suzy remained quiet after that, something Candace was grateful for as she couldn’t help but reflect on her _own_ thoughts now. Somewhere along her rant to Suzy, she had begun to realize that those words could apply to her relationship with Phineas as well. Why couldn’t she just accept the fact that Phineas loved inventing? Accept him the way he was, because that was what made him happy and she didn’t want to see him unhappy because despite everything, he was still her brother and she loved him?

She walked back to where Stacy was still holding onto her ice cream cone, accepting it and taking it along without another word. The two friends strolled through the park, Stacy occasionally glancing at her and seeming in mental confusion but not saying anything. Not that Candace really focused on her friend’s troubles, as she was much too deeply involved in her own.

By the time they had finished their ice cream and had gotten back to the Flynn-Fletcher backyard, Stacy finally turned to her friend and cleared her throat. “Look, Candace,” she said softly, “I didn’t really want to tell you this, but you’re not giving me another option because I don’t want to see you hurting yourself over this and, to be honest, I think you’re kind of living in some denial-like state right now.”

Candace frowned. “What do you mean?”

Stacy sighed. “Candace, I know about you and Phineas.”

Candace stopped in her tracks and her eyes went wide. “W-what do you mean?” she immediately stammered, well aware that she wasn’t sounding very coherent but what else could she do, she couldn’t very well wait before replying because that would sound even more suspicious…

Stacy stared at her, and from the expression on her face Candace knew the game was up. “I don’t claim to have the entire picture, but I know that over the past month you and Phineas have been dating each other” she replied. “Look, it’s okay. I mean, it is really weird, but I’m not going to yell at you over it. I just felt that you needed help because whatever you’re doing now clearly isn’t working. Did something happen between you two?”

Her orange-haired friend tried to catch her breath. “I…” she began. “You’re right, I have been dating Phineas. But how did you know?” Ordinarily she might have thought Irving’s cameras were the cause, but she had double-checked to make sure they were gone, so… She froze. “You noticed it? Have we really been that obvious about it? What if Mom and Dad figured it out… oh man…”

“It’s okay, Candace” Stacy hurriedly assured her, putting a hand on her shoulder. “I only know about it because of… well, you could call him a friend.” She took a deep breath before proceeding. “He saw you guys doing something unsiblinglike, although only after paying really close attention, and when he pointed it out to me I started noticing as well… but you don’t know him. I mean, not really. Not the way he really is.”

Candace frowned. “Are you trying to talk in riddles now, Stacy? What, are you supposed to be some kind of oracle?”

“…what’s an oracle?”

“Never mind.” Candace sighed and leaned against the gate of her backyard, the wood somehow making her feel more stable and not like she could collapse on her feet any second. “So, this friend of yours… does he know about Phineas and me? Is he planning to tell anyone?”

Stacy nervously blinked, and Candace noticed she was making an effort to look away. “Well, I guess you could say he didn’t really know you were siblings, and he just asked me whether you guys were a couple. I told him no, so he listed some of the things he had seen you doing and I looked closer and realized that he was telling the truth.”

Candace nodded, groaning. “Oh man…”

Stacy sighed and patted her friend’s back. “It’s okay, Candace. Like I said, it is kinda creepy, but I’m your friend. You can tell me things.” She sighed. “Frankly, I’m upset that you didn’t tell me earlier. I can understand why you didn’t… but we’ve been best friends since Kindergarten, Candace. I told you all about Billy Clarke, didn’t I, and that was even though you had a crush on him as well!”

Candace chuckled. “Ah, Billy… I’d almost forgotten about him.”

“What, is Phineas so much cooler?” Candace gave her a dirty look. “Sorry. It’s not every day that I get to tease a friend for her relationship with her brother.” Stacy shook her head. “This is going to take some getting used to.”

Candace sighed grimly. “Well, don’t you worry about that. Phineas and I broke up last Saturday.”

Stacy frowned. “You did? Why?”

Her friend looked doubtful. “I don’t know… it’s a long story.”

Stacy smiled faintly at her. “Candace, like I just said, I’m your best friend. I know that makes it awkward to tell me these things, but in the end I want to be there, to share your secrets and give you someone to talk to. That’s what I always did when you were still talking about relationship trouble regarding Jeremy, right?”

Candace smirked. “Yeah, and you were sooo fond of that.”

“Yes, but I still heard you out.” Stacy smiled. “Not to mention your Jeremy stories tended to get repetitive. I doubt that this will.”

Candace nodded. “Yeah… I probably would have told you a lot sooner were it not for the fact that I was terrified of our secret leaking. And that’s kind of how everything exploded in the end, so that tells you enough about my sense of judgment.” She stared at Stacy, evaluating her friend, and then nodded. “Okay, buckle up. It’s a long story.”

And it was. The next half hour, Candace told Stacy everything that had happened, from the attention Phineas had paid to her after her Jeremy break-up to her brother finding out about her busting. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Stace” she sighed. “I was so terrified that anyone would find out when were still dating, and he broke up with _me_ rather than the other way around. I should be over the moon because of this, so why am I so melancholic?”

Stacy’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Have you talked to him about this?”

Candace shook her head. “If I want to have a normal sibling relationship with Phineas again, we need to avoid the subject of our romance. We’ve been doing that the past days, and it’s worked so far.” She didn’t mention that part of this was because they hadn’t been talking too much to each other at all.

Stacy bit her lip. “I see. Candace, ordinarily I’d be all for you forgetting about dating your brother, but when I see the look in your eyes…” She sighed. “I can’t believe I’m asking you this, but what did your relationship with Phineas feel like? Did he make you happy?”

Candace shook her head in disbelief. “Are you seriously implying I should get back together with him?”

“I don’t know” Stacy replied, sighing. “It just sounded like you were unhappier now than you were before you broke up.”

“Well, naturally” Candace said confidently. “I did date him for weeks, so it would be surprising if that didn’t leave a mark. It’s a whole adjustment to just go back to being single again, not to mention that he’s my brother and I care about him. But I can’t get back together with Phineas, Stacy! It’s wrong and weird and in the end it could never work. The only way we can ever lead a normal life again is by being normal. Then everything will snap back by itself.”

Stacy smirked. “Come on, Candace. You of all people should know that your life will never entirely get back to normal.” She pointed out into the backyard to show her friend what she meant.

Candace sighed. “Yeah, you’re right – but I meant a _relative_ value of normal, of course. I mean… I never really had romantic interest in him, I just appeased him because I liked him. Sure, Phineas is my brother and I care about him, but in terms of romance I had a much stronger bond with Jeremy. It made so much more sense for me to date him, too. That means I should definitely be able to get over Phineas much faster than I got over Jeremy, and then we can put it all behind us again.”

Her friend nodded pensively. “Okay, so name a few positive points about your relationship with Jeremy that weren’t there in your relationship with Phineas.”

Candace frowned. “Well… Jeremy was my age… or actually he was one year older, but you get the gist… he wasn’t related to me… he was a slightly better kisser, but I guess that’s not really fair since he had more experience… he plays guitar… which Phineas can do as well… his head wasn’t a triangle…”

“Is that all?”

“No, of course not” Candace stammered. “I mean, there’s tons more things I could name that Jeremy had and Phineas didn’t. Um, Jeremy was kind to me, but so is Phineas, and he handled the fact that I kept trying to bust my brothers really well, but when you think about the fact that Phineas was one of those brothers and he was genuinely hurt rather than just annoyed because of my busting attempts, I guess he coped pretty well too… argh, why is this so hard! I mean, Jeremy has plenty of good things going for him that Phineas didn’t, and he’s not the inferior boyfriend just because he’s not a genius inventor that always helped me out or put my interests first or builds amazing things for me or protects me or…” She groaned. “Why is it so hard to name things that Jeremy has going for him and so easy to name things for Phineas?”

Stacy uncomfortably cleared her throat. “I doubt you’d like the answer.”

“I can’t date Phineas!” Candace exclaimed. “Not again! It was a mistake, you know that! I – I should just forget about all this, keep remembering that it’s over and it’ll never happen again, and everything will be fine. I mean, I can pull that off, right? I’ve got to. I… I wouldn’t know what else to do.”

In response, Stacy gave her a sympathetic look. “Maybe you’re right. Look, I have to go home now, but you can call me if you need my help again. Just… no more than twice a day, please. If I had a nickel for every time you called me about Jeremy, I could skip school and finding a job and go straight into early retirement.”

The orange-haired teen blushed. “Good point. See you later.”

“See you later.” Stacy walked off, leaving Candace alone with her thoughts. She slumped into the house, got up the stairs and sat down on her bed. On one hand, her lifelong friend had brought up some good points, but…

She couldn’t get back together with Phineas. It was inconceivable. She just needed to move on. And well, they already had a few brief conversations which indicated that they were cool again. So what if there was still a little awkwardness between them. So what if she had tried to bust him and Ferb yesterday and the result was that he had completely ignored her throughout – far from the usual proceedings where she’d simply tell her brothers that she was going to bust them and Phineas would have an amiable chat with her. Now, he had simply given her one pained look that burst straight into her heart, and then he’d turned away from her.

She didn’t understand. She had tried to explain to him, she’d tried to explain to Ferb… she couldn’t stop trying to bust them, she needed to bust them, why did it hurt him so much and why did it hurt her so much that it was hurting him and why…

Stacy had said she should have another conversation with Phineas. Candace knew she was probably right there. Still, something inside her was withholding from it. She couldn’t do it. There was no way she would be able to bring herself to do it. Because it would simply bring back all those old mixed feelings about her brother. Because the end of their relationship was still too fresh. And because Phineas would steer the subject onto busting again, and there was no way she could deny him that.

She had told him she didn’t hate him and Ferb, hadn’t she? Phineas knew she cared about them. That had to be enough, it just had to be. She was not ready for another conversation like that. Not while they’d only been apart for such a short time… life was still too crazy for any of that. Their family relationship would repair itself, but only after enough time had passed. Then, everything could go back to normal again. In the meantime, she’d just have to tough it out.

She’d just have to be mature.

A knock on her opened door startled her out of her reverie. “Dad?”

Lawrence Fletcher sheepishly smiled at her and walked inside. “Hello, honey. I saw you lying there and you didn’t look okay. Are you all right?”

Candace sighed and sat up. “I’m fine, Dad. I could’ve been better, there’s just some… things that I’ve been going through.”

Lawrence nodded and sat down next to her. “Want to share them?”

“I… it’s because of Phineas and Ferb” Candace eventually replied. “I mean, it’s not their fault per se, it’s… it’s complicated. But I’ve had an argument with Phineas and I’m not sure whether we resolved it well enough, and although I want to go back and talk it through I kinda don’t want to either because it’s so much more complex than it seems at first and talking would be just so incredibly awkward. And I want to move on, but I’m not sure if I can move on without talking it out but I don’t think I can move on with talking it out either.” She chuckled. “I lost you there, right?”

“Kind of” her father admitted. “Candace, if you ask me, I think you should go talk to your brothers about whatever it is that’s bothering you. Phineas could never hold a grudge against you, and I’m sure he’d understand that you’re going through a difficult time. But I don’t want to force you to do anything. All three of you are old enough to start making your own decisions in life. Just know that if you ever need our assistance or our arbitration, your mother and I are here to help you out.”

Candace smiled. “Thanks, Dad.”

Lawrence nodded. “And now for the reason I came in here, which might relieve your stress a little… or it might make it worse. I don’t know.” He put an arm around Candace’s shoulder. “Candace, I bumped into Jeremy in town today. He told me he regretted that you two had effectively stopped being friends after your break-up, and asked you whether you wanted to go out to Marsh Restaurant next Saturday just to chat and catch up.”

Candace’s eyes widened. “Jeremy asked for that? I… I mean…” She blinked. “So, like a friendly get-together? Because I know he’s with Vanessa Doofenshmirtz…”

Lawrence thoughtfully tapped his chin. “Jeremy’s with Vanessa, you say? That’s strange… He did mention the name a few times, yes, but I didn’t get any indication that they were more than just good friends.”

“So…” Candace hesitated. On one hand, she was eager to see Jeremy again, and it would be good to get away from all this madness surrounding her brothers for a while. On the other hand… did she really want to get back into this whole mess with her old boyfriend? She’d destroyed a good relationship the first time, why couldn’t she simply stop taking that risk? Sure, he was asking her on a friend date now, but she knew herself. She’d go right back to thinking of him as a potential love interest.

Candace stood up and walked over to the window. This really wasn’t smart. Maybe she should simply treasure what she had. The previous break-up had been a disaster and she would not survive a second. Maybe she should just stay here with her siblings and…

…Phineas was looking at her.

She looked back at him.

A wave of melancholy flooded over her. For these past few weeks, he had been her boyfriend, her friend, her bedrock of support, the one she relied on, the one person who was more special to her than anyone…

NO.

She would _not_ have that. She did _not_ have strong romantic feelings for Phineas, and she could _never_ **_ever_** date him again. It was a mistake, and going there had lead to her endangering her own safety. If she ever wanted to have a normal, stable life again, without secret incestuous rendezvous and all those other shenanigans, she would need to stay away from him until all signs of romance had faded away. In other words, she would need a distraction.

Candace turned back to her father. “Thanks for telling me this, Dad. I’ll give him a call back right away.” Lawrence nodded at her and left the room as she took out her cell phone. Jeremy’s number was still in there, and it only took a few rings before he answered it. “Hello? Candace?”

“Hey, Jeremy” Candace said with just a bit of trepidation. She hadn’t spoken to him in weeks after all. “So, I heard from Dad that you wanted to go to Marsh Restaurant with me on Saturday to catch up?”

“That’s right” Jeremy replied. “I felt like our break-up left a few things unsaid between us and, well, it’ll be nice to see you again. So I figured that, since I’d still be in town by then after Thanksgiving was over, we could talk a little over dinner. What do you think?”

“It sounds like a nice idea” Candace said, mentally kicking herself at her non-enthusiasm. “I mean, it sounds great! See you Saturday!”

“See you Saturday, Candace.” Jeremy ended the conversation and Candace was left reeling from it. She’d just spoken to her ex for the first time in weeks and what was more, they would be going out on a date. And while it might not exactly turn out to be a real date, it could be something else, namely the chance to finally get her life back to normal again.

Because after everything that had happened this autumn, that was something Candace couldn’t wait for.


	23. "This is not going to end well for me, I'm afraid."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Doofenshmirtz, "Tree To Get Ready". 
> 
> This is one of the worst title quotes I've got, because I just couldn't think of anything. Later quotes will be better. If anyone's got a better recollection of PnF quotes than I have and has a better quote (anything with a sense of foreboding will do), I'll be much obliged. 
> 
> But yes, this is the moment when the situation starts to tense up as everyone is moving on his or her own accord and it's beginning to unravel the cautious balance that existed earlier in the autumn. Please read and review.

Everything was different now.

Usually, Thanksgiving and the run-up to it (as with all major holidays) would involve Phineas throwing a grand party with various inventions that would still somehow disappear before his mother got a glimpse of their true potential. That was the way it had been for as long as Isabella could care to remember. But this year, there seemed to be none of that going on at all.

For a few days now, she had felt the nagging feeling that something was wrong between her favorite neighbors, but now that Phineas had simply told her they weren’t doing anything for Thanksgiving this year but simply continued building run-of-the-mill projects (which were cool enough, mind you, but seemed to lack some of that usual creative spark) Isabella knew something was up. Phineas and Ferb still worked together, but the way they’d communicate by sharing looks and exchanging quick sentences between projects was gone. And although she could still see smiles on Phineas’ face with every new thing he built and those smiles were everything she had ever been used to, the glum expressions he had on his face in-between smiles definitely weren’t.

Throughout that Wednesday, Isabella tried to talk to her best friends about what was up and she’d only gotten vague, non-committal answers. Ferb especially seemed determined to return to his old silence, which especially frustrated her because she’d gotten used to conversations with him that were so much richer than all that. Why had he given up on it now? What had happened between him and Phineas, and from some of the looks they exchanged between Phineas and Candace too? Was this just part of growing up and puberty, or, as Isabella suspected, did a specific incident lie at the base of all this?

Finding no other leads, she eventually asked Phineas’ mother about it. Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher agreed something was up with her kids, but she hadn’t been able to get anything more out of them either and she didn’t want to bother them when they were clearly having difficulty communicating their feelings. And thus, Isabella figured there was no other option than to cash in a little favor.

A few weeks ago, her mother had won two tickets for a weekend away from home in a resort by participating in the lottery. Since the tickets were for the weekend of November 23rd – 26th and that was the weekend she’d already agreed she’d be visiting Isabella’s father (and he couldn’t leave his work anyway) she had been wondering what to do with the tickets until Isabella suggested giving them to the Flynn-Fletchers (she’d briefly toyed with the idea of asking for them for her and Phineas, but she had realized that probably wouldn’t fly with either of their parents). Linda Flynn had been delighted and extremely grateful, and although Isabella hadn’t originally intended to ever ask for anything in return, the opportunity of having Thanksgiving dinner with the boys whose secrets she wanted to figure out was too good to pass up.

Getting both her own and Phineas and Ferb’s parents’ assent thus wasn’t too hard, and so it was that Isabella joined her friends at dinner next Thursday. The situation was tense, she could feel that. Ferb not only didn’t speak, he didn’t even communicate anymore. Heck, he was barely _blinking_ at all. Candace was quiet, focused on her cell phone and tried to avoid everyone’s gazes but especially Phineas’. And as for Phineas… Isabella had of course volunteered to sit next to him, half hoping that something good could actually come of it, but she’d received more than her usual share of disappointment. Phineas still smiled and chatted with her and the people around the table every now and then, but the usual spark was faded. It was almost as if he was turning into a wholly different person, way beyond what puberty was supposed to change to Phineas Flynn.

It was only after dinner that she resolved that she’d finally had enough. Isabella walked up to her crush halfway through the dishes and made sure she had his attention before speaking up. “Phineas, is something wrong between you and your brother and sister?”

Phineas looked skittish. “Well, I… it’s nothing, I…” He sighed. “I don’t want you to worry about it. I’m sure it’ll go away on its own.”

There was some of that old Phineas-optimism shining through in that sentence, but even so Isabella could feel that he didn’t really believe what he was saying. She sighed. “Phineas, you and Ferb love each other because you’re best friends and brothers and all that, and if there’s something between you you should try to talk to each other about it.” She smiled, an idea occurring to her. “Do you want me to mediate?”

Her friend appeared reluctant. “Um, Isabella, I appreciate your help, but I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea…”

“Of course it is!” Isabella exclaimed. “I’ll get you guys back on regular speaking terms in no time. This is just a phase you have to pass through.” She put her hand on Phineas’ shoulder and gently steered him towards his brother, who was sitting on the couch in the living room. At Phineas’ approach, he gave the two of them a quizzical look. Isabella knew he would probably like her idea even less than Phineas would, but she had to try. She didn’t want to see her two favorite boys estranged, and it wasn’t just because of her crush on Phineas and her hopes that a successful resolution of this might help make her appeal to him. This was something she simply didn’t want to happen to her friends.

She sat next to them for a few seconds, but neither of the boys said a word. “So…” Isabella finally cleared her throat. “Why aren’t you on speaking terms right now? What happened?”

Phineas looked up at her, and the concern in his expression was stronger than any she’d ever seen on him before. “I… it’s hard to tell you, Isabella. I don’t want you to get involved in this… I mean, you already are involved in this to some extent, but more so than just due to the conversation subject…”

Isabella frowned. “What do you mean, I’m already involved in this? Did I do something to make you drift apart?”

Phineas strongly shook his head. “No, that’s not it Isabella. I mean, you see… what happened is a long story, but it all began…” In the corner of her eye she barely noticed Ferb firmly squeezing his brother’s hand, and Phineas blinked. “But I can’t tell you that.”

Isabella sighed and leaned back. “Phineas, you can tell me whatever’s on your mind. You know you can trust me with your secrets, right?”

Her crush gave her an odd look and suddenly stood up, awkwardly scratching behind his ear. “I just remembered I had to be somewhere” he replied, a line which she didn’t need four dozen patches for to know it was a lie. “I’ll see you guys around later.” With that, he rushed out of the room.

With Phineas gone, Isabella couldn’t help but turn her attention to the other brother. “I don’t get it, Ferb” she lamented. “What’s going on with the two of you? Why do I feel so much like I’m being left out? I mean, Phineas is the love of my life. Shouldn’t he want to tell me these things?”

Ferb sighed, and to her surprise he reached out and put an arm around her. The physical contact felt soothing, and it made her calm down about her previous anxieties. “Don’t worry” he said gently. “Phineas and I have not been as close as we used to be lately, yes, but we’re still talking to each other and building inventions together. We’ve always molded rifts in our relationship in the past, and I am sure this will be no different. It just needs some time, Bella.”

Time. They just needed time, and all would go back to normal. It was the same thing Phineas had said, but for some reason it was more convincing coming from Ferb. Maybe he was right. Maybe they did need time. Maybe in that case, everything would straighten out on its own.

Isabella tried hard to give her friends the space they wanted for the rest of the evening, playing games with them but not bothering them about feelings anymore. And it worked. The tension in the air, which had previously been so sharp, gradually seemed to fade and by the end of the evening they all had smiles on their faces as Isabella went home. It had been a fun Thanksgiving night.

The next day, of course, was filled with things entirely distracting her from worrying about the tense atmosphere between Phineas and Ferb. The reason she would have expected for that was her mother leaving on holiday, but as it turned out when she got a call after school that afternoon, it was something else entirely.

Isabella only needed one glimpse at the caller ID to drop everything she was doing and pick up the phone. “Hey Phineas,” she said flirtatiously, “why you callin’?” All right, maybe that was a lame version of her usual catchphrase. It was also fun, and she had the right to say silly stuff once in a while.

On the other side, Phineas chuckled. “Getting straight into the subject, I see?” He stopped laughing. “Okay, I’ll ask my question right away. Are you doing anything tomorrow?”

Isabella froze, old hopes bubbling to the surface but years of heartbreak keeping them down. “Um, no” she replied uncomfortably. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, I was wondering…” Phineas’ voice sounded more nervous than usual for some reason, even if it retained most of its original cheery disposition. “You know how we’ve been to ice cream bars and park stands together, but never to real restaurants? And since we’re good friends and all, I was wondering if you have time to go to Paul Bunyan’s with me, tomorrow night at seven? It’ll be my treat.”

What the…

How the…

Had Phineas Flynn, her Phineas, her oblivious Phineas, seriously asked her just what she thought he had asked her?

“You’re saying,” Isabella stammered, “that you want to go to a restaurant with me tomorrow? Just us? No Ferb?”

“Exactly!” Phineas confirmed. “It could be a great chance to get us to bond and reinforce our friendship. But if you don’t like the idea or anything, I guess I understand…”

How could he possibly… how could she ever not… “Oh, no!” Isabella rushed to say. “It’s fine, it’s great… it’s cool, I mean. Going out to a restaurant, just the two of us. It’ll be… nice.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought as well” Phineas replied. “Well, see you tomorrow, Isabella!”

He ended the conversation oddly quickly, but Isabella couldn’t bring herself to focus on that right now. Phineas, her crush for the past ten years, had actually – finally – asked her out on a date. It was so out of the blue that she still couldn’t believe it and half expected him to call back and make up some lame comment which would downplay their get-together again, but… no. It had happened. They were going out tomorrow.

Putting her hand on the nightstand, Isabella could feel herself shaking and unable to calm down. She… she couldn’t freak out right now. She should probably call her friends, she could select the best dress she could find, she could call her parents, she could write in her diary, there were so many things she could do.

But for the moment, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro couldn’t be bothered to do anything but to squeal.

oooooooo

Ferb couldn’t blame Isabella for feeling worried. Frankly, he had been feeling growing disconcertion himself over the past week.

After Phineas and Candace had broken up, Ferb hadn’t felt as emotionally disturbed by that as his siblings clearly had – which was only natural, as he hadn’t been as closely involved in the matter as they had, but it also derived from the fact that he had seen this coming. Hadn’t he told Phineas several times that he didn’t think he’d ever get to be with Candace? Yes, he had been wrong in assuming that Candace would never return Phineas’ feelings, but in the end the relationship had lasted for about three weeks and still exploded. And he’d always expected that at one point Phineas would be feeling let down because of his relationship aspirations failing, and that was exactly what had happened.

Yes, Ferb Fletcher figured his prediction of the future had been fairly accurate, all in all. He just wished that was something he could be happier about.

For although ostensibly everything should be back to normal, in reality the whole world around them was in turmoil. Candace was wrestling with her busting issues, she and Phineas got awkward around each other all the time, and Phineas didn’t trust him anymore. That last part wasn’t something his brother had ever told him, but Ferb didn’t need that much information to realize why Phineas had stayed quiet since the break-up. Before, they talked about pretty much everything all the time, mostly when no one else was around. Now, the only things Phineas said specifically to him were related to their projects, like “Ferb, can you hand me that blowtorch” or even “Ferb, I’ve got a great idea of what we can build today.” And besides that, the emotional layer was gone. Phineas no longer talked about the things that preoccupied him outside of inventing. Instead, he seemed determined to have his own ideas and use his own resolutions for whatever feelings confronted him, regardless of what anyone else might think of them.

And frankly, that scared his brother to no end.

In so many ways, the situation _wasn’t_ like what he had predicted. Candace wasn’t happy, because she really had had feelings for Phineas like Ferb had tried to make her realize to no avail on the night of their break-up, and because she missed him now. And, for all that Phineas no longer told him about it, Ferb could easily see his brother missed her too. But it appeared that for the time being, neither would make a step to move on. Candace only looked towards a possible romantic future without her brother in which everything would normalize again, and Phineas… well, that was the thing. Ferb had no idea what Phineas would do, and it just made it all the much more tempting to stay out of this affair permanently and not get involved.

But then there was his own stake in the whole business, which could be summarized with one word: Isabella. Ferb had no idea how his feelings for the girl across the street had blossomed so quickly from a casual romantic interest to a full-on crush, but somehow they had. Maybe it was because Isabella, aside from his family and the very much uninterested Vanessa, had been the first to make an effort to talk to him this autumn (after having had so little contact with him during the previous years). Yes, of course she mainly wanted to talk about Phineas, but over time he felt like he had come to enjoy Isabella’s presence in her own right and vice versa. She was smart, funny and cute, and in many ways she was the most normal of their group of friends, the one he could relate and talk to best. Phineas was oblivious, Candace was neurotic, Buford was a bully, Baljeet was nerdish, Irving was… well, Irving, but Isabella was someone who could understand him, especially now that she was putting in an effort.

And it was that fact that was making him appreciate her so much right now, and it was that fact that made him worry about her well-being. For as much as Ferb liked Isabella, he knew she had her flaws, most of which related to her crush on Phineas. Sooner or later Phineas was going to confront her with how hurt he was over the secrets she’d kept from him, and on top of that Isabella was going to have to face the fact that the boy of her dreams did not love her back. It was a confrontation Ferb was eager to postpone as far as humanly possible, but in bleak moments like this he feared that it would come sooner or later, and that it would destroy the final shreds of healthy relationships between their friend group that were left.

He was still lamenting about it all when his cell phone rang. The greenhead looked at the Caller ID to see that, in a remarkable coincidence, it actually read Isabella’s name. Wondering what could make his crush call him at this moment, he answered and was instantly greeted by an ecstatic scream. “Ferb, you’ll never guess what happened” Isabella announced. “Phineas just asked me on a date!”

This was one time Ferb was wholeheartedly thankful for having a reputation as the quiet one. It meant his completely shell-shocked reaction went unnoticed. It also meant he didn’t have to ask for clarification.

“He just called me and asked if I had anything planned for Saturday. When I said no, he asked me out to dinner that evening at Paul Bunyan’s! Sure, he was talking about me being a great friend again, but this has to be the start of something more. We're going out to a fancy restaurant, he's already offered to pay… it’s a date, Ferb!”

Ferb’s head spun. Saturday? That was the day of Candace’s meeting with Jeremy! And wasn’t Paul Bunyan’s directly opposite the location of that date? It didn’t make sense… unless Phineas was trying to…

Ferb dismissed the thought out of hand. This was _Phineas_ they were talking about. His stepbrother was too oblivious and too nice to even consider the possibility of hurting Isabella like that. What had really happened was that Phineas, seeing the relationship with their sister fail, had simply embraced the inevitable and had fallen for Isabella, exactly as he’d predicted would happen so many weeks ago. And Ferb shouldn’t rain on their parade with crazy suspicions due to his own feelings for said girl. This was good. He was happy for them.

The sound of a beep made it clear to Ferb that the line had been disconnected. He hadn’t even heard Isabella’s parting words, if there were any. This had to be the first phone conversation where he hadn’t spoken at all – if Isabella hadn’t known him, she might have assumed she was just listening to static.

Ferb sighed, and put down the phone. He was going to have to keep his eyes open the next few days.

Over the next day Ferb considered various ways of breaching the subject to his brother, but failed miserably. As had been usual before the relationship, Phineas was too enthusiastic and talkative for Ferb to get a word in edgewise. Having to go to school didn’t help either – he wanted to talk to Phineas alone, and by the evening he was simply spent. Not to mention that given the recent awkwardness between them, he had no idea on how to bring up the matter in the first place.

The next day, Saturday itself, provided its own share of eccentricities in how normal it was. Their project of the day was a new bus service through downtown, and Phineas acted just as joyful and vibrant as he always had. Other than his final comment of the day to Isabella (“I’ll pick you up at seven, okay?”) there was no indication of anything weird between them. Isabella’s radiance and flirtatious looks – which were there more than ever before – went ignored as usual. The only break from the norm lay in Candace’s appearance, whose announcement that they were so busted sounded as lackluster and hollow as it had ever since she and Phineas had started dating (although admittedly, with the date with Jeremy on that night, it was natural that her mind was elsewhere). There was none of the tension that had been there freshly after the break-up, now that Phineas knew what her busting implied, and Ferb even caught him giving Candace longing looks once or twice. It was all very strange, and didn’t fit with that evening’s date in the slightest.

Ferb resolved to stay at home that night, part of it because he still had some books to read but a more important part being that he felt like someone needed to be at their home base in case something would go wrong. And what with the strange vibes everything about this evening was giving him, he had no doubt that it would, and that everything would explode all over again, perhaps on a bigger scale than ever before.

It was just a matter of time.


	24. "Creativity isn't bad. It's the best thing about you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Candace, "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted".
> 
> It just occurred to me that part of the reason why it's harder to come up with appropriate quotes now is that we're moving further and further away from canon. The events of this chapter also aren't something you'd expect 'our' Candace to do... but Candace has changed, and this chapter finally highlights and emphasizes that change. It's definitely a big chapter, but none of those that are left to come can be really called 'minor' chapters, not anymore. So please, tell me what you think of it. As always, constructive criticism is welcomed and encouraged, insulting criticism will be treated as it deserves to be. 
> 
> Also, there's a cliffhanger at the end.

In the hours leading up to her and Jeremy’s non-date at Marsh Restaurant, Candace had hoped against hope that this would be the first public outing in a while to go off without a hitch, and that reestablishing a friendly relationship with her ex would be simple and successful, without any of the awkwardness that had been present in so many of the events in her life over the past weeks.

It only took a few minutes for all those hopes to be cruelly smashed.

She’d arrived around 8, with Jeremy being the late one for once (even if he got there within ten minutes). Just looking into her ex-boyfriend’s eyes for the first time in weeks was weird enough, and they had sat down to stare at each other for minutes on end before really lunging into conversation. It had been so long. Well, maybe it had only been about two months, but it definitely felt like it had been forever. It felt as if Jeremy was someone from a wholly different period in her life, a period which she felt nostalgic about but which wasn’t here anymore.

They casually chatted a bit and eventually got around to ordering the menu. Since Marsh Restaurant usually served good pizza, they both ordered one, and its delivery instantly brought back memories of eating pizza together. They recalled memories about hanging out together and going out together, they laughed and got along, and after about half an hour Candace finally felt that she was having a good time with Jeremy Johnson again.

And then he turned away from her and asked: “Hey, isn’t that your brother?”

Candace actually had to look twice to make sure whether she was really seeing what she was seeing. Sure enough, it was Phineas at Paul Bunyan’s on the other side of the street – there weren’t too many other kids with a triangular head in Danville anyway – but he was wearing a fancy tux and was accompanied by a girl that looked very much like Isabella.

She said as much to her ex-boyfriend, who took a closer look and chuckled. “Yeah, you’re right. Looks like she finally managed to ensnare him.” He turned back to his plate and took a slice of his pizza. “So, you were mentioning something about these exams that you had coming up…”

“Uh, yeah” Candace replied, looking back and forth between Phineas at the entrance of the other restaurant and Jeremy right across from her. It would be so easy to go back to the conversation and try to forget about what she’d seen, but this didn’t make sense, she had to know, she needed an explanation… before she knew it, she’d stood up and smiled sheepishly at Jeremy. “Um, excuse me just one second?”

Jeremy nodded, and although he was confused it was all Candace needed. She stormed over to the other side of the street and caught up with her brother and his date – who was indeed Isabella, as she could see now – as they were just picking a table. “Phineas!”

Phineas looked at her and frowned. “Yeah?”

It only then occurred to her that she didn’t really know what to ask. Well, she wanted to know why they were there, but it would somehow feel strange and inappropriate to flat-out ask him that. “You didn’t tell me you were going out tonight.”

“Phineas called me and asked me we whether I wanted to go Paul Bunyan’s together” Isabella gushed before her date could say anything. She seemed so ecstatic that she could barely get the words out. “I am – I mean, it’s going to be – I’m sure we’re going to have a great time.”

There was something about Isabella’s cheerfulness that got under Candace’s skin, but she couldn’t think of anything to say about it. She turned back to her brother and stared at him for a moment. “ _You_ asked _her_ out?”

Phineas nodded, either missing the emphasis she put on certain words or paying no attention to it. “That’s right. I figured Isabella and I hadn’t been spending enough time together lately, so I decided to ask her on a friend date. You know, the way friends do.” There was a curious expression on his face, as if he was waiting to see if she would do something about this. Sighing, she finally broke eye contact. “Okay, have fun” she muttered, slumping back over to Jeremy.

“What was wrong?” her own ‘date’ inquired.

“Um…” Candace blinked. She didn’t want to tell him the truth, he might worry whether she was being obsessed with her brothers again and that would ruin the night. “House keys.” Seriously? “Mom and Dad are out of town so I wanted to check whether Phineas had taken a key along just in case Ferb would go out as well. But he had, so there was no problem.”

She felt terrible about lying to her friend even if it was on such an innocuous matter as this, but Jeremy accepted it without any further comments. A little white lie would probably be okay to get the atmosphere going – she could be honest with him later. Candace briefly glanced over to Paul Bunyan’s, where through the window she could vaguely see Phineas and Isabella sitting and laughing, a thought which made her uneasy. She shook it off and turned back to Jeremy. No sense worrying about Phineas. This was her present now.

“So,” she asked him, taking a pizza slice. “We talked a bit about the stuff in my life – what about you? I heard you’d struck up a friendship with Vanessa Doofenshmirtz over at college.”

“That’s true” Jeremy replied. “I don’t know if she’s told you, but we met up by accident at lunch one day, and we just started chatting about home and stuff. It had been a while since I’d had the chance to talk to anyone about Danville, so we soon started hanging out more often. I’ve been to her parents’ houses, and she’s visited me a few times. And back at college we help each other out with homework and of course homesickness. She’s really nice and calm and understanding, plus she helped me cope after our break-up.”

Candace felt her gut wrenching at the memory and realized that she had never really thought about what the events of that day had meant for Jeremy – even if he had been the one who had cut off the relationship, that didn’t mean he had liked it. “Look, I’m sorry for what happened between us, I…”

Jeremy shook his head. “It’s okay, Candace. We were probably both equally at fault for what happened, if blame needs to be assigned. Sometimes I look back and I wish we could’ve worked things out, but well, bygones are bygones.”

“Yeah” Candace replied wistfully, glancing sideways for a moment and then blinking. Phineas and Isabella had picked a window seat, meaning she could see them through the glass from here (even if she couldn’t hear them). They were chatting and laughing about something, and it kind of irked Candace that Phineas had apparently gotten over her so quickly. Of course, so had she by going out with Jeremy tonight, but Phineas’ affection towards her had seemed a lot stronger than what she felt for him.

Jeremy cleared his throat. “Is something wrong, Candace?”

His ex-girlfriend shook his head. “No, it’s… fine, I guess. I just think it’s strange, you know, to see Phineas sitting with Isabella like that. I wonder what brought him to ask her out after all that time.” She felt another uneasy tinge go through her as she realized that maybe this was Phineas’ method of coping with their break-up. He hadn’t seemed all that upset after the first few days, but he _had_ been quite distant and she’d never claimed she could look into his soul, so… had he been hiding heartbreak all along? Even now, under that shell of cheerfulness he was putting on before Isabella, was there a desperate wish to avoid the relationship he had with his sister and to start a new life?

Jeremy also glanced over and chuckled. “I don’t know. Puberty, perhaps. I guess maybe he’s finally growing up.” He frowned at her. “Is something wrong? Do you think he’s too young to go out with her?”

“No, no, it’s fine” Candace stammered. She could not have Jeremy talk about her thoughts and feelings regarding Phineas, it would be a recipe for disaster. “We’re not here to talk about my brother, are we? So, how have you been doing at college lately?”

Jeremy blinked, but seemed to accept the subject change. “Well, I’ve passed both of my exams thus far” he replied. “It’s been a lot harder than I imagined, though. I suppose that’s natural because it’s an entirely new world and I had to adjust to living in a wholly different place, but even so the material just got a lot tougher. I only barely scraped by on the first exam, and although I passed the second with a wider margin it still wasn’t much to write home about.”

Candace nodded, glancing across the street again. What the – were they actually… they were! She looked closely. Isabella was handing Phineas a rose! Why… this was only their first date, so why was she moving so fast? What made her think she had the right to move this fast, Phineas would never agree to it! Sure, he was smiling at her now, but that was just because Phineas was an oblivious dork who simply accepted whatever present someone gave him even if he didn’t like it at all, simply out of the niceness of his heart and because he loved the fact that someone was willing to give him something… there was no way he’d ever see through or agree to the hidden meaning that was behind it from Isabella’s side…

Her dinner date clearing his throat brought her back to reality, and Candace blushed. “Sorry” she said. “I’ve got to keep an eye on my brother, he… he’s naïve and susceptible to other people’s bad intentions. Not that I think Isabella has bad intentions per se, but she did just give him a flower within minutes of the first date, as if she’s trying to make up for all those years that she’s been pursuing him in the space of one evening! Why would she ever think that was a good idea, Phineas doesn’t even like flowers! And if she wanted to give him flowers at all she should give him dandelions because he’s been talking about compressing a ton of them into a wish-making machine and although it’s so bustable it would also be really cool.” She blinked. “I’m sorry. Go on with what you were saying.”

Jeremy sighed. “Candace, I understand you’re trying to look out for your brothers, but we were here to catch up.” She nodded. “So as I was saying, I’ve been having difficulty at college, but fortunately they have a good library. Vanessa has also been helping me out a lot.”

Candace nodded, but her mind wasn’t in it. Now that she’d seen Phineas and Isabella were doing stuff across the road, all she could think about was looking over. She awkwardly chewed her pizza slice and tried to forget about her brother, but in the end she found herself counting down seconds. Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty… now she hadn’t looked for half a minute, surely she was entitled to a glimpse again… what were they really _doing_ out there… why did they have to be too far away for her to hear anything… twenty-nine, thirty, okay one more look and what were they up to now…

Jeremy was picking up on what she was doing, and his expression was slowly changing from someone who was enthusiastic about talking to his old friend again to someone who had been through all this way too often and who wasn’t going to put up with it anymore. “Candace, are you listening to me?”

“Wh-what do you mean?” Candace said, chuckling awkwardly. “Of course I’m listening to you! Just because I’m checking on what my brother is doing every now and then doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear about your college stories.” That was true – she wasn’t uninterested in what Jeremy had to say, her mind was just continuously shoving it to the bottom of her priority list. “So, how have your exams gone?”

Jeremy frowned. “Candace, I literally told you everything about that there was to tell just five minutes ago.”

Oh no. This was bad. Candace guiltily froze and barely looked her old flame in the eyes. “I’m sorry, I…”

He sighed, and it was clear he was more disappointed than angry – presumably because they weren’t dating anymore and they were hardly invested in each other at this point. “Candace, if you don’t want to hear what I have to say, that’s okay with me” he replied. “We could talk about other things, and you can tell me what you have to say, only I’m afraid I know what the subject of your stories would be.” Candace blushed. “And ordinarily that would be fine, but we haven’t seen each other in weeks, and tonight wasn’t supposed to be about your brothers, it was supposed to be about reconciliation, about us.”

_Okay Candace, he wanted to reconcile and now you’ve really torn up your best chances to get back to a normal life with someone normal guiding you there. You’ve got to let this Phineas and… urgh! Isabella thing go. Maybe give him a final glance to make sure they’re fine and then just focus entirely on Jeremy again. That sounds reasonable. Okay, so just one peek and wait, what!_

Candace couldn’t believe what Isabella was doing to her brother. She was putting a hand on his, right on the table, in plain sight for everyone to see! That was a romantic gesture if there ever was one, and it wasn’t supposed to be a romantic gesture because Phineas had told her they were going out on a friend date, and here Isabella was turning it into this! And Phineas, that oblivious, loveable oaf that he was, didn’t even notice! Or maybe he did, but he wasn’t doing anything about it and he definitely didn’t look perturbed so she was going to hazard a guess that despite the fact that he knew Isabella had a crush on him he still had no clue what she was aiming for here. Why couldn’t he see how forward she was being, how she was going to pressure him to do things that just weren’t him, why couldn’t he see that she was _wrong_ for him, that he deserved better, that he…

“Ahem.”

Candace paled as she saw Jeremy’s expression. She looked down to see that he had also put his hand on hers, like Isabella had just done to Phineas… and she hadn’t even _felt_ it. “I’m sorry!” she blurted out. “I’m so, so sorry! I know you wanted to go out with me and yet here I am, making the exact mistakes I made last time and I know this isn’t how you’d have wanted tonight to go at all and it’s my fault, you must be so disappointed…”

“Candace.” The orange-haired teenager looked up at the touch of her friend’s hand on her shoulder as he leaned over the table and stared into her eyes. “I’m not disappointed. Well, maybe a little. But in the end, I didn’t even ask you out tonight for my own sake. It was for yours.”

Candace frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I’d heard from Stacy and from Coltrane how upset you were right after our break up” Jeremy explained. “I felt terrible about it, but I didn’t want to step up as long as the pain was so fresh. When I spoke to your father the other day and heard you still weren’t feeling all right, I wanted to come forward and help because I felt guilty, because I worried that you were heartbroken and wanted me back so badly that it was affecting your life, but now that I’ve seen this…” He shook his head. “Candace, between busting your brothers all the time, did you ever really miss me?”

Candace’s face reddened. “Of course I did!” she stammered. “It’s just that Phineas was there for me all the time, helping me out and comforting me, so I…” She sighed. “Well, I got over you.”

Jeremy nodded. “I think I understand” he said. “You’ve got a really close bond with Phineas, haven’t you Candace?” She nodded. “And the thought of him getting together with Isabella really upsets you?”

Candace smiled, relieved. He understood! What was more, there was no way he’d suspect she had been dating Phineas, which meant he thought it was possible for her to hate Phineas getting together with Isabella without that meaning jealousy. “Exactly!” she exclaimed. “He’s been part of my life for so long the way he is, throughout all that busting, and I can’t stand the thought of that ever changing.”

“You know it’s going to have to, though” Jeremy said gently, almost too gently. “One day, Phineas is going to leave your life.”

“But I don’t want that to happen!” Candace said, frustrated. “Why can’t he just stay where he is? He doesn’t _really_ like Isabella anyway.”

Jeremy frowned. “Candace, maybe you love your brothers in your own, unique way, but this isn’t working! You’ve been trying and failing to bust him for ten years now, and that obsession has completely consumed you! Phineas has his own separate life to live, and the way you’re handling this unhealthy relationship you’re only constraining him!” He sighed. “Look, Candace – have you ever thought about seeing a shrink?”

Candace stared at him. “You think I’m crazy?” she whispered, her voice rising in pitch.

Jeremy shifted uneasily in his seat. “Well, I…”

That was all Candace needed. “You do, don’t you!” she exclaimed, jumping up and staring daggers at her ex. “H-how _dare_ you! As if you know anything about what’s going on in my life! As if you have any right to speak about unhealthy sibling relationships, what with your _psychotic_ little sister! I’m not crazy! Sure, maybe I freak out every now and then, but that doesn’t mean I belong in the nuthouse! And you know what, Phineas _never_ would have said that, no matter _how_ much I would have messed up! He would’ve calmed me down and comforted me, and with him at my side I wouldn’t be a neurotic wreck anymore because he’s the only one… the only one who… who…”

_The only one who ever understood me._

How could she have been so **_stupid_**.

All this time, Phineas had been there for her when she needed him. All this time, he had been the rock on whom she depended. All this time, she might have called him names or tried to thwart his schemes but despite it he still came through for her at every opportunity, and even despite how much hurt she’d caused him when she told him she’d been trying to bust him for so long his first concern had still been if she didn’t hate him, as if it was even an option for her to do so…

And sure, he was oblivious. Sure, he got away with things she never could and she hated not being on his level. But he never looked down on her for it, and instead he was there for her in the best way and he loved her in a way neither Jeremy nor her parents nor Stacy ever had, or ever could. Because he experienced both her good side and her bad side, and he could deal with her.

He was the only one who could deal with her.

Phineas was kind and patient and _perfect_ , and he was more than she ever could have expected from life. So _what_ if his head was a triangle. So _what_ if he was thirteen years old. So _what_ if he was her brother. If she started listing her own flaws, she could be here all day. He loved her, and she – she needed him. He was her brother, her ray of sunshine in her darkest hours, he cheered her up whenever she required it and she loved him for it.

She was _in_ love with him for it.

And because of her own unending flaws, she had lost it all.

She sat down again, her entire body trembling for reasons that had nothing to do with the weather (even if it was a bit chilly). Jeremy, across the table, just gave her an uneven look. There was shock in his face, but also disappointment and resignation. He put down his knife and fork and looked up. “I’ll just go home now” he said quietly.

She should want to beg him to stay. She didn’t. “I – I’m sorry for flipping out at you.”

Her ex-boyfriend sighed. “I know you are, Candace” he replied. “That’s always been the hardest part.”

Candace nodded. “I’ll pay for dinner.” It was the least she could do.

Jeremy looked at her, and she could almost imagine a wistful smile on his face even if it wasn’t quite there. “Candace…” He sighed. “Candace, I shouldn’t have said you were crazy. I’ve known you long enough to be able to say that 90 percent of the time, you’re simply a little high-strung, and because you’re a teenager that’s okay. But you _are_ neurotic and obsessive, and I’m not saying that as an insult but because I’m concerned about you. And even without professional assistance, you’re going to have to find someone who can deal with those issues and help you through them… and that person can’t be me.”

And with that, he stood up and walked away. And try as she would, Candace could not feel sorry to see him leave.

After all, the real love of her life had already walked out on her two weeks ago.

There was still one pizza slice left on her plate. She took it and reluctantly glanced across the street once more to see through the window. She could see Phineas, laughing and smiling at Isabella, who was beaming at the attention she was getting. It made her feel jealous and depressed because until a few weeks ago she would have been the one getting that attention, and it made her feel like she had passed up her chance.

But above all, she could see her own reflection. A neurotic girl, who was nowhere near the mature adult she’d so often wished to be. A mess. In love with her brother and unable to have him.

Candace took out her wallet, counted out the money and put it down on the table before strolling across the street. She could just go home now, she still had a bus ticket… but she couldn’t. Seeing them like that… maybe she didn’t deserve Phineas, but Isabella had done nothing to deserve him either. All she had ever done was pine over Candace’s brother, claim him for herself but do nothing with that claim, keep her biggest secret from him… it had hurt Phineas, she had seen it two weeks ago. And now Isabella wouldn’t have to do anything to change, and all she wanted was just going to fall right into her lap?

Then again, Candace pondered, she couldn’t very well intervene. Phineas had asked Isabella out tonight, and it wasn’t right to cut in simply because what she had realized about him. She was too late, plain and simple. And it wasn’t like Isabella and Phineas were going to go anywhere on this ‘date’. Phineas was still oblivious as ever, so it was likely that this would never be more than a dinner date between good friends. And tomorrow, the playing field would be level again. She could wait. She should wait. And for Phineas’ sake, she couldn’t cut in on him and Isabella now. They were having fun together, weren’t they? They’d been here for half an hour and didn’t seem the least bit bored, and dinner had yet to start – in fact, there was the waiter with a plate of spaghetti right now and…

What.

Phineas might not be able to get what was right around the corner, but Candace could, and from her hiding spot next to the window (not right next to where Phineas and Isabella were, of course, but at a few feet distance) she could figure out Isabella’s scheme easily. Even if she hadn’t been able to figure it out on her own, the smile on the other girl’s face and the look in her eyes said enough. Isabella would order a plate of spaghetti for the both of them, start eating it and then ‘accidentally’ kiss Phineas. It was the best way for Isabella to get romantic with Phineas without even having to tell him about her feelings. She was going to drag and manipulate him straight into the romance zone even if he was oblivious all the way through.

And Candace wouldn’t let that happen.

She stormed into the restaurant before really thinking and approached Phineas and Isabella’s table, coming to a halt before it. Her brother and his friend looked up at her approach, Isabella with slight annoyance and Phineas with concern. “Candace?” he asked. “Is something wrong?”

Candace blinked. “Well… I…”

“Weren’t you only just eating dinner?” Isabella inquired. “What happened out there? Where’s Jeremy?”

“We were done, so he went home” Candace curtly explained. She noticed Isabella’s eyebrows furrow at that – the girl had probably hoped she and Jeremy would have hit it off again. _Tough luck, missy._ “After he left I sat down for a while all by myself and… I just didn’t feel good.”

Phineas looked up at her. “You’re feeling sick?”

“A little” Candace replied, coughing for effect. “I’m dizzy, my face is hot, my mind is going crazy,” none of those were really lies, “and I feel like I could throw up any second now. Could you,” another cough, “could you help me get home?” She coughed a third time just to underline how ‘bad’ the situation really was.

Isabella opened her mouth to protest, confused about the whole situation but feeling like something wasn’t quite right, but Phineas beat her to the punch and stood up. “Of course!” He took Candace’s arm. “I’ll get you back home right away. It’s all going to be fine, Candace. Don’t worry.”

That went a good deal easier than she’d imagined. That went a lot easier than Isabella had imagined, too, as the bewildered girl simply stared at Phineas and Candace walking away from their table. “But – wait!” she exclaimed. “Couldn’t Candace just take the bus home? I mean, you’re not feeling okay, I get that, but couldn’t Phineas just drop you off at the bus stop?”

Phineas glanced at her and sighed. “I have got to be there for Candace right now, Isabella. She’s obviously not feeling well. We’ll just have to put strengthening our friendship off for another night. You’re not sick too, are you?” A dejected and stunned Isabella shook her head. “Okay, good to hear. See you later! Oh, and don’t worry about the dinner bill, I’ll take care of that.”

Isabella didn’t respond, and as Phineas and Candace walked out of the restaurant Candace couldn’t help but feel her jealousy ebbing away a little and feeling sorry for the poor girl. Sure, she was possessive about Phineas and had withheld a secret from him for all those years, but that didn’t mean Candace could treat her quite like this. But her emotions were just too mixed about that for the moment, so she didn’t speak up.

Candace belatedly realized that she hadn’t actually wondered about how Phineas was going to take her home until they got into the parking lot and she recognized the boys’ old all-terrain-vehicle with remote control she had never succeeded in busting. It made her smile – of course her brother would take the one method he had to circumvent the fact that he was still too young to drive. And she could only imagine the look on Isabella’s face when Phineas had showed up to get her for their ‘date’ in this. It slightly assuaged her guilt from earlier – obviously, Phineas had never really seen this as a date in the first place.

Phineas helped her get into the truck, which was awkward enough as Candace had to fake struggling with it, and got in on the driver’s side. They steered out of the parking lot and rode home.

“How do you feel now?” Phineas asked almost immediately. The concerned expression on his face brought her guilt right back. “If you feel like you have to throw up at any point, just say it and I’ll stop the truck. I’m driving as carefully as I can to avoid upsetting your stomach, but I know I can’t do everything…”

“It’s fine, Phineas” Candace whispered.

Her brother nodded, taking a turn. “Okay, ‘cause if you need anything, just ask – oh wait, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that!” He chuckled and pressed a button on the remote, and to her surprise Candace noticed the vehicle drop down to the street. As she looked outside, she noticed the wheels were the same size of a normal car. “Wha…?”

“Regular-car mode” Phineas replied, a sense of accomplishment in his voice. With reason, as he did have something to be proud about. Why did he have to be so capable and impressive and sweet? “We built it in last year. I figured it might help you feel a little better. I’m still going to take a different route to avoid the speed bumps in our street, though.”

Candace smiled sheepishly at him. “It’s great, Phineas. Thanks.”

Her brother nodded and they drove on, and as they continued their ride home Candace couldn’t help but look at him. She did love him. He had helped her out, he’d been there for her, the way he was always there for her… and how had she repaid him? She had flat out lied to his face for her own selfish aims. She had been jealous as always, and it had ruined everything.

How could she have done this to him? She’d only just realized how flawed she was and how much he did for her, and this was what she’d done in return. Lying, deception… she’d cost him a date with a girl who, whatever her flaws were, probably did deserve him more than she did, and, and…

She just couldn’t take it anymore. It didn’t make sense to go from a mood swing the one way to a mood swing the other way, but after these hectic weeks where she’d gone from dating Jeremy to moping over him to dating her brother to dealing with mixed feelings about him… well, all sense of what made sense had just gone out of the window. And even if it felt random and too extreme a reaction, Candace couldn’t help but cry.

Her first tears started rolling down her cheeks just as they turned to Maple Drive. Before she knew it she was sobbing uncontrollably. She’d messed up. Completely.

Phineas, of course, was caught off-guard and shuffled closer towards her, putting an arm around her shoulder. His physical contact both made her feel better and worse. “I’m a horrible person” she muttered. “Is – is it even a wonder Jeremy broke up with me? I… it feels so bad, so wrong…”

Phineas took out a handkerchief and gently dried her tears. “Don’t worry, Candace” he said, his expression concerned and still soothing, complete with that half-smile he always put on when a situation was dire but he still wanted to cheer everyone up. He was way too good for her. “Don’t worry. It’s okay.”

Candace sighed, feeling her tears dry up despite everything. She shook her head. “I’m not okay.”

Her brother smiled at her. “Well, you’re not okay right now” he said. “I can see that. But you’ll be fine later. It’ll all pass.”

Candace took a deep breath. “You don’t understand, Phineas. I mean that I’m not okay _mentally_ , because _physically_ , there’s nothing wrong with me.”

His only reaction was a confused frown. “What do you mean?”

“Phineas…” She had to tell him. She couldn’t keep lying, not to her brother, because if anyone didn’t deserve this it was him. “I never really felt ill. It was all a ruse.”

He let go of her and drew back into his own chair, and Candace prepared for the scathing words of condemnation and horror. They didn’t come. Instead, as she looked up, she saw him looking back at her with a very much mixed expression in his eyes. “Can I explain?” she asked shyly.

He nodded.

“I meant to have a great night with Jeremy tonight” she explained. “I hadn’t seen him in so long, and I hoped he would help me get over all what has happened between us for the past weeks… but then you showed up with Isabella, and I just didn’t understand, so I kept being distracted throughout dinner and wondering what she was doing to you, and I…” She put her head down, almost between her knees. “I thought I was over you. I thought I’d imagined every non-sibling like feeling of affection I ever felt towards you but I was wrong. Just looking at Isabella made me realize that. I… I know it’s wrong of me to think so but I couldn’t stand it, Phineas. The way she was acting around you… I hated it, and it wasn’t until Jeremy and I had some more exchanges that…” She sighed. “Well, he told me I should go see a shrink, so I flipped out at him and accused him of thinking I was crazy, and that you would never have resorted to that because you would’ve helped me out and I never really realized until that moment how much that meant to me, how much you mean to me and I apparently meant to you… and that I loved you.” She took a deep breath. “I _am_ in love with you, Phineas, and that realization was in part what made me go nuts against Isabella there. I just knew she was going to take any chance she could get to kiss you and I didn’t want to see that happen because I didn’t think she was right for you, but looking back I don’t know why I thought that at all.” She shook her head. “ _I_ broke you up, _I_ cut in on your great night all because of my stupid jealousy, the way I’ve always messed with your life and I don’t understand why you could ever stand me at all except you probably can’t anymore now and you know what? Jeremy was right, I am crazy. I’m neurotic, psychotic and probably dangerous, but it’s only been with you that I have ever truly been able to relax so… thanks. Thank you. And I’m sorry. For everything. I’m sorry for all the things I ever messed up in your life, and tonight has to be the worst example of that… but you know what the worst part is? I couldn’t even tell you I wouldn’t do it again.”

She took a deep breath, staring straight ahead because she couldn’t bear to see the look on her brother’s face. This was it. She had told him everything, and she was just going to have to live with the consequences.

About twenty seconds passed like this, and it came to a point when Candace half-wondered whether Phineas had already run out on her. A peek sideways, though, told her he was still there, his expression unchanged. And he…

He didn’t do anything. He just stared out of the window, occasionally glanced at the roof, but otherwise remained silent. She really hoped he would say something soon because the wait was killing her. Did he hate her now? That was it, wasn’t it? It had to be. She’d spent all that effort tonight and the only result had been to drive away the person she had loved before _and_ the person she now knew she loved…

“Candace?” Her head shot up and she met his eyes, which weren’t filled with anger but with something closer to embarrassment and unease. “I’m not going to blame you for doing what you did, because…”

He let out a deep sigh.                                                                                        

“Because I actually hoped that that would happen.”


	25. "Oh, how can he not feel the same way?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Isabella, "Summer Belongs To You". 
> 
> As usual, I picked the title for this chapter last, while browsing the Phineas and Ferb Wiki. I'd considered a line from Candace and Stacy's song "A Better Best Friend" about taking someone's friendship for granted and not realizing how important that person is to you, which fits Isabella and Ferb very well in here, but then I came across this classic one from the song 'The City of Love', found out that it was one of Dan Povenmire's favorite lines - something I found both shocking and ironic - and that is when I decided to use it. 
> 
> You see, I've given a great deal of thought to this line, including its other half ("when we're strolling down the Champs Elysees") which for obvious reasons doesn't fit here, because to me it marks just what I hate so much about Isabella's crush and Phinbella as a ship - the presumptuousness. Despite her complaints about Phineas' rejections, she always subconsciously or consciously assumes that the problem in her relationship with Phineas is simply one of time - he does not see her in that way YET, and he will once he's mature. I shouldn't have to explain why this is problematic, but the fact that Isabella simply doesn't contemplate the thought that Phineas may not like her in that way and that he has other interests which he might value before romance for a long time, maybe forever, sets the stage for what would be an unhealthy relationship filled with far too many assumptions and senses of entitlement from Isabella's side. It sets her apart from Candace, who by contrast has often been terribly insecure about whether Jeremy likes her or not - no matter how much she overstates the importance of him liking her, the thought that she could fail is always present in her mind, whereas Isabella is if anything oversecure. Phineas loves her, she's sure of that, and one day he will realize that she's the perfect match for him. She's not merely disappointed with the fact that the romantic atmosphere of Paris has no effect on him (which she has no right to be anyway given that he never gave her reason to presume the trip would be romantic and they need to get home quickly, so he definitely has his priorities straighter even if the narrative makes you think that he's in the wrong) she's baffled that he's not falling for her. How can he not feel the same way. How is it possible that Phineas could not fall in love with perfect Isabella. She laments this in despair. Any sympathy I could have had for Isabella's plight just disappeared with that line. 
> 
> Now I don't hate Izzy. She's a smart, cute, friendly neighbor and without a doubt an excellent Fireside Girl. But just like Candace really ought to be confronted with the fact that her busting efforts aren't helping anyone, least of all herself, Isabella needs to face the fact that she's been making far too many assumptions about Phineas and that she isn't in any way entitled to his love. That's part of why I hate Phinbella scenarios so much - they simply confirm Isabella's bias because it turns out that he did have feelings for her and it was just a matter of time and becoming a more romantic person for them to come to the surface. And that means Isabella is going into a relationship with her assumptions unchallenged and a belief that Phineas is exactly the romantic centaur that only has eyes for her she's always dreamed of in Phineasland... and that's going to clash with reality, hard. 
> 
> "Act Your Age" is a prime example there - the more I think about it, the more I feel like it's more of a parody of a Phinbella episode than an actual Phinbella episode, with hidden clues that this relationship will not work out. Just think about it - you've got Phineas and Isabella drifting apart before summer, a version of our favorite duo which seems to care little about inventing or even about going to the same college, a 'romantic' song that descends into self-parody by the end, the ridiculous 'ten years' concept which would mean present-day Phineas and Ferb are eight (and there's eight years between Ferb and Vanessa), the way everyone suddenly starts bringing Phinbella up and rooting for them (parody of the fanbase?), the way the creators get emotional at the end (about Phinbella happening? ...nope, about Phineas and Ferb being college-age, which means Phinbella wasn't even the main focus in their minds) and, of course, Ferb. Ferb who apparently never knew about a crush that Phineas supposedly had through high school. Ferb, who knows Phineas better than anyone else and who - unlike practically everyone else - is never seen being enthusiastic about this couple and spends one of his precious sentences saying "You know, you can't force these things." 
> 
> So... yeah. Those were my thoughts on Phinbella, and it's why that's not going to happen in this story. Ferb and Isabella, on the other hand, might have some interesting developments ahead. 
> 
> Please review!

Isabella just didn’t understand what had happened to her.

It was so sudden and overwhelming that even as she walked back to her seat for lack of anything else to do, she couldn’t quite comprehend what had occurred. Just yesterday, she had been delighted that Phineas had asked her out. Only one hour ago, he had arrived at her home and it had been perfect. Everything she’d ever dreamed of. Sure, he still didn’t quite seem to get the romantic implications of all, but Isabella knew by now that as difficult as it could be to muster it sometimes, she needed to have some patience with her crush. But they were out on a date for the first time, and that was the most significant step forwards in their relationship in years.

How could it have suddenly crashed down like this? She had been enjoying herself! Phineas had been enjoying himself too, she could see it, and even if he hadn’t responded to her putting her hand on his or to all the flirtatious comments she’d made while they were there, surely he would figure out sooner or later. It was in part why she had ordered spaghetti – it was the perfect pretext to set up a kiss between them, and in the awkwardness that ensued she could ask him if he wanted to do it again, and maybe that would be the way their relationship would start. (She preferred to ignore the possibility that he would like the kiss but not see it as romantic. Surely even _Phineas_ couldn’t be that oblivious.)

But that was all irrelevant now. Phineas was gone, and Isabella still couldn’t quite understand how it had happened. Okay, so Candace hadn’t been feeling all right. She was willing to accept that, even if there had seemed to be something off about the whole situation. But that didn’t mean Phineas just had to walk off with her and leave his date behind! Of course she wanted him to take care of his sister, but the way he’d just treated her…

It hadn’t seemed to bother him that he had to leave her there. He had asked a casual question about whether she was okay, but that was about it. Had this night ever meant something to him at all? Or had she been… lead on?

Phineas had broken her heart way too many times. But today, Isabella felt like he’d shattered it.

She quietly sobbed over the dinner table, the remaining plates still reminding her of the meal she’d had. She barely noticed the servers taking it all away and her own feet shuffling out the doors of the restaurant and onto the street.

It was raining. Of course it would be raining tonight.

And she had no way to get home.

Trembling, Isabella rummaged through her pocket for her cell phone. She couldn’t call her mother, because she was out of town and wouldn’t return for days. And while of course she could ask various people she knew around town to come over, there was really only one figure whose name came to mind in her head at this desolate moment.

The soft ring that indicated that her cell phone was making the call stopped, and Isabella took a deep breath. “H-hello? Ferb?”

“Isabella?” He sounded confused. “Is something wrong?”

Isabella felt somehow relieved that he noticed right away. “You could say that” she replied softly. “Could you pick me up at Paul Bunyan’s?”

There was a soft, irregular sound at the other end of the line, and it took her a moment to identify it as Ferb breathing. She became aware of the pressure to tell the entire story – he was entitled to know if he was to pick her up, and as much as it would hurt to get it out she needed someone to talk to anyway. “You know how Phineas and I went out to Paul Bunyan’s tonight?” She sighed. “We were having such a great night together, until halfway through Candace showed up. She said she wasn’t feeling well… and it’s not that I want to belittle your sister’s feelings, Ferb, but it just felt like something was off there and I didn’t understand what. But Phineas instantly reacted and took her outside to take her home, and it felt as if he just left me behind to fend for myself. Well, he did ask me whether I was okay, but it just felt as if he stood up and left and none of what happened here this evening had meant anything to him, and part of me still expects him to come back and pick me up but I don’t think that’s going to happen anymore.”

There was a long silence on the other end of the line after her confession, and at first Isabella expected Ferb to either say something or cut off communication altogether. After she’d gone for thirty seconds without hearing nothing, however, she became confused and worried. “Ferb? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay” Ferb replied, sounding quite different from how he normally spoke. The voice she heard was not the gentle British one she’d come to know, but a wary and embittered tone that quite honestly frightened her a little. “You’ll soon be okay again. But my brother _won’t_ be.” There was a pause in which he must have composed himself, for he continued in a more neutral tone: “I’ll be with you in ten minutes.”

That was the last she heard of that conversation, and Isabella put her phone back into her pocket and huddled underneath the covering of the terrace in front of the restaurant. The rain kept streaming down in front of her, and it left her more melancholic than she’d been in a long time. She just couldn’t understand. Had she done something wrong? Was this something Phineas had done to her because he had noticed her flirting and couldn’t stand it? But why would he ever do that? That wasn’t the kind of person she knew her longstanding crush to be!

It was cold out here – apparently, with the rain the last vestiges of summer were being swept away too. Isabella shivered, wondering whether she could get hypothermia if she stayed here. Sure, maybe she was exaggerating a little – after all, she could just go back into the restaurant and hang out there somewhere – but she just couldn’t be bothered. Something in her heart felt seriously shattered, and she had lost any and all appetite for anything but just sitting here and waiting for Ferb to come.

There had to be some kind of reason. Phineas wouldn’t just abandon her like that, he… he loved her! Right? She’d always thought he loved her, and they would get together one day, but if he was too insensitive and oblivious to see what he had done to her right now then…

The sound of footsteps rushing towards her made Isabella look up. Ferb knelt over her, draping something over her body – a blanket of sorts. It made her no longer feel on the verge of freezing to death, and she gratefully looked up at him. Ferb was crouched over her, a concerned expression on his face.

He was so kind to her, and she had a hard time understanding why sometimes. After all, she’d spent far too much time focusing on Phineas and hardly noticing the guy in his shadows. So maybe Ferb didn’t speak up nearly as much as his brother, and his head wasn’t as acute as Phineas’, but he was still clever and amazing and sweet, and she’d been giving him way too little credit for that for far too long. She remembered how often he had been by her side when things were dire and helped her, and even when her deepest wish was for Phineas to step forwards and do so instead she appreciated that Ferb was there.

The two stared at each other for a while, Ferb’s face frozen in a neutral position as always but with his eyebrows furrowed slightly. She could sense that he was waiting for her to speak up, and eventually she did. “I don’t get it, Ferb” she said, sighing. “Did I do something wrong? Did I offend him for some reason? I’ve been replaying all what happened in my head dozens of times but I just can’t figure out where I went wrong… maybe I’m making too big of a deal out of this and it’s entirely natural that Phineas would discard me for his sick sister and…”

“No.” His voice sounded so strange, a mixture of the bitterness she’d heard in it over the phone and his normal, detached tone, and yet she could somehow sense that he cared for her. “It’s not your fault, Isabella. Don’t even _suggest_ that. My _brother_ …” He put both his arms around her, and although the touch was unfamiliar she welcomed it immediately. “Phineas just made a grave mistake. And he needs to be held to account for it. Right now.”

He abruptly stood up and helped a confused Isabella get back to her feet as well. She could see the quiet fury in his eyes, and it made her seriously concerned about whatever he could be planning. She had never seen Ferb angry before, and she honestly didn’t know whether the fact that he was furious on her behalf was a bad or a good thing – yes, Phineas had hurt her, but that didn’t mean that she had intended to drive a wedge between him and his brother like this. “Ferb, I…” she began. It was strange that in all this, she couldn’t care less anymore if Ferb’s actions were going to cause Phineas finding out about her crush – not just because there were more important things to worry about, but honestly because after all that it didn’t feel like keeping her most important secret mattered any longer. “You don’t have to call out Phineas for me… maybe it _was_ just a mistake.”

Ferb stopped in his tracks and gritted his teeth. He turned towards her, still clearly mad but softening as he looked her in the eyes. “Isabella,” he spoke softly, “you have no idea.”

It was the last thing he said as he walked towards a motorcycle parked nearby. Isabella briefly wondered why she’d never known he had a motorcycle, or whether it was even anywhere near legal for him to drive one – and now was probably not the right time to ask. He sat down and motioned for her to get on behind him.

Even in the midst of her emotional confusion, Isabella couldn’t help but notice as they pulled out of the parking lot that she had never been this close to Ferb before. Even during the past weeks, when she’d unmistakably bonded with him, she’d never had to literally pull her arms around him and hold him so tightly. He felt warm and muscular and oddly comforting, and she could feel his heartbeat – a bit faster than the usual, but very much controlled. Even when he was angry, he was somehow still calm. Ferb was so different from Phineas that it was hard to believe she’d never really noticed this separate person before. Why hadn’t she? It wasn’t for lack of character, that was for sure.

She tried to focus on the Phineas issue, and every time she thought about it she couldn’t help but feel that yes, she did have the right to be offended. Why hadn’t he cared more? Why had he gone out to dinner with her and been so perfect and everything she’d ever asked for… only to leave her at the height of the whole deal? And sure, maybe Candace hadn’t been feeling well, but that didn’t mean they had to cut off their date… and definitely not like this! Phineas had left her on the spot, not even considering her feelings, and had never looked back! There was no promise of a second date, no final word that he loved her or anything… nothing! It felt like he hadn’t cared, that he _didn’t_ care, and surely that was something she deserved an explanation for!

Ferb’s bike pulled into Maple Drive within minutes after they had left from Paul Bunyan’s. Ironically, the rain had stopped just as they were pulling in, ensuring that they were still soaked. Isabella couldn’t help but notice that the monster truck Phineas had escorted her to the restaurant with – and what an unexpected yet utterly Phineas-like surprise that method of transportation had been – was parked in front of the house, albeit somehow having its wheels shrunk and looking somewhat like a normal car. That meant Phineas had to be inside. The dim lighting that was on inside confirmed that.

Her driver carefully maneuvered the motorcycle into the garage and gentlemanly gave her a hand in getting off. He would probably have gone on towards the front door right away if not for Isabella squeezing his hand. “Ferb?” she said quietly but firmly. “I think maybe I should go first.”

As usual, Ferb’s expression was unreadable except for the most skilled reader of faces. Isabella saw a flash of determination, downheartedness, a moment of hesitance and even a sliver of fear… and then a new rush of determination as he looked towards the house, a wave of compassion in his eyes, and then a totally unreadable expression again as he clutched her hand. The girl felt the touch of cold metal against her skin, and as Ferb pulled away she noticed she was holding the key to the front door.

She took a deep breath and marched up to the house, Ferb only a few paces behind her. The fact that the car was still in front of the house and Phineas had apparently not even considered the fact that she might need a ride too increased her anger. Oh, he was going to have a lot of explaining to do.

Nevertheless, even as Isabella put the key into the lock, twisted it and yelled her catchphrase for good measure, part of her was hoping that she’d find something that would make it all go back to normal. An explanation that would completely justify and make her understand about Phineas’ behavior over the past hour. Something that would be reasonable.

Unfortunately, the scene she walked into as she opened the door was anything but.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another cliffhanger! Despite the immense author's note you could argue that not that much plot development actually took place in this chapter, but the next chapters will make up for it. Of course, the amounts of plot development that happens also depends on your definition of plot development, so... oh well. You'll see when you get there.


	26. "Why is it that when Phineas and Ferb have an idea, everyone's like "Oh wow, you guys are really clever!" And when I come up with something, everyone goes "What? Did you say something, Candace?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Candace, "Gi-Ants". 
> 
> New chapter! Not the best one in my opinion, but maybe your opinion will differ, and at least Phineas and Candace finally get to talk about some of the really important matters in their lives. There is one part I do really like about it, and that's the way the rain patterns in the last chapter foreshadow the timing in this one. You'll see what I mean if you read it more closely. If there's anything particularly uncharacteristic about either Phineas' or Candace's behavior (although of course they have come a long way from the way they were at the start of the story) please tell me. And even if you don't have much to say, a review is always appreciated!

The next time he was going to think up a convoluted plan like the one he had used tonight, Phineas Flynn resolved to think things through properly beforehand.

Candace just stared at him, open-mouthed but not bolting as he had expected after first making his revelation a few seconds ago. It wasn’t like she wouldn’t have had the right to run straight out of the car and into the house – he owed her some serious answers. “Look,” he said, “I can explain.”

Candace’s mouth fell shut. “Can you?” she whispered, almost inaudible. She leaned back in her seat. “I mean, how… if you hoped this would happen… if you asked Isabella…”

“I was desperate, okay?” Phineas exclaimed. “I mean… I guess that doesn’t justify it.” He sighed. “I’ll start at the beginning. We broke up two weeks ago because, to be honest, you kind of crushed my heart by withholding the truth from me about Isabella’s feelings and about you wanting to punish us.”

His sister looked forlorn. “Phineas, I’m sorry…”

“I understand” Phineas cut her off. “I understand, and I eventually forgave you. And then weeks went by, and I missed the relationship we had. I… I wanted to have you back, Candace. I thought there still had to be a chance to get you back, and I couldn’t just let that hope slip out of my fingers and have you reunite with Jeremy without knowing exactly what you felt about me.

So, I came up with a plan. Since you guys were going to Marsh Restaurant, I’d ask Isabella if she wanted to go out with me to Paul Bunyan’s. We could sit down and eat dinner and chat, all within your sights. Now, if you really didn’t have feelings for me, everything would proceed as scheduled and we would both have a good night out with friends. But if you did, and Isabella was going to flirt with me again…”

He didn’t have to go on. Candace’s face made clear she was filling in the blanks by herself. “Did Isabella know about this?”

Phineas blinked, surprised at the question. “Oh, no. I would have told her, but you know Ferb has been wary of telling anyone about you and me, so I figured I’d humor him in this instance. Not to mention I’m not looking forward to having to confront Izzy about this whole ‘having feelings for me’ thing.”

There was another awkward silence in the truck, only interrupted by the rain drizzling down on the roof. Somehow, it gave the whole place a cozier, intimate atmosphere. Unfortunately, the situation was still too tense for Phineas to enjoy it.

He looked up at his sister. “Look, I know this plan was a bit extreme, but I was desperate, okay? I just couldn’t stand the thought of never being sure whether you really did have some feelings for me or not, so I just had to know…”

Candace nodded slowly. “That’s okay, Phineas. I understand.”

Her brother stared at her. That went a lot easier than he’d expected. “Are you sure?”

“Well, I am still a bit miffed that you did all this behind my back, and I can’t shake the feeling that you were manipulating me somewhat” Candace replied. “That said, I appreciate the trouble you went through, and I understand why you did it – not to mention I just flat-out lied to you and Isabella, so if you should be chided out for doing bad things then so should I. And I still mean what I just said. I love you. I would never have known that if you hadn’t done this. And if we both love each other, maybe we should stop mulling about the past and concentrate on the future.”

Phineas smiled at her and took her hand. The two siblings simply stared at each other for a few seconds, relaxing for the first time that tense night. “So…”

“You want to get back together?”

Candace smirked. “I was about to ask you the same thing. We could try. It won’t be easy, though.”

“Nothing’s ever easy in life” Phineas replied thoughtfully. “And maybe that’s for the best. Where would we be without challenges?” He paused. “But honestly, we can overcome those problems, as long as we work together and stick together. But you need to be willing to give it a try.”

“I am” Candace said without hesitation. “I mean, yeah, dating you was hard, but not dating you was even harder. I… I just couldn’t stand seeing Isabella flirting with you. If I’d felt the same way about you over the past years as I do now, I would’ve gone crazy at some point. Well, crazier, in any case.” She chuckled, pulling her hair strings about her face, and Phineas couldn’t help but think she looked extremely attractive that moment. “My point is that I’m in love with you now, Phineas… so if you’re willing to give me another shot, then we can be boyfriend and girlfriend again.”

Phineas stared at her. “Even taking into account the slippery slope?”

Candace leaned into him. “I could care less about the slippery slope right now. If we’d have to, I’d ski down the entire mountain just so we could be together again.”

Phineas pulled her close to him and gently kissed her on the lips. Candace immediately responded, pressing up towards him. He could feel the steering wheel pushing against his back but he didn’t care any longer. The familiar sensation spreading through his body, the feeling of Candace’s hands on his thigh and hip, Candace’s lips against his… he had missed this for far too long and now nothing else mattered anymore.

Well, except obviously for the car horn.

The horn shattered the kiss, just as it shattered the peace and quiet in the immediate blocks surrounding them. Phineas and Candace broke apart, embarrassed flushes on both their faces. “Well, so much for being inconspicuous.”

Phineas nodded, nervously eying the houses of the neighbors. “Maybe we should go inside? It’s probably not a good idea to kiss here in full view. If we want to avoid anyone finding out about us...”

“Good plan” Candace replied. She opened the car door and shrieked. “It’s pouring!”

“Wait one second” Phineas said. He got out of the car and ran over to the trunk, pulling out a small windmill-like device. “Guaranteed to keep out the rain and won’t be torn apart by any gust of wind” he said confidently. “Here you go.”

Candace accepted the tool with a smile and held it high above her, trying to cover Phineas as much as she could as they walked towards their house. “You’re such a gentleman.”

“I learned from the best” Phineas replied, briefly wondering if his relationship with that person would be as relatively easy to repair as his bond with Candace had been. He then winced as the makeshift umbrella was hit by another wave of water from above – so much for coziness. He pressed the door bell, but there was no response. “Ferb? Open up!”

“Maybe he’s not home for some reason” Candace said. “Don’t you have a key?”

“I should have one” Phineas responded, digging through his pockets. “Ah, here it is.” He unlocked the house and stepped inside. “Hello? Ferb? Bro?”

The entire place remained as quiet as a tomb as the siblings made their way over to their kitchen to hang their moist coats. “It’s empty” Candace concluded, glancing up their stairs. She turned to her brother and smiled in what could only be described as a seductive manner. “Meaning we have the place to ourselves tonight.”

“For the next few hours at least” Phineas corrected her.

Candace nodded. “True, true. But that still leaves us enough time to talk… and to kiss and cuddle and stuff. If we’re going to be back in a relationship, we might as well act like it.”

Phineas frowned. “What, right now?”

“Well, we were just kissing outside in the freaking car, weren’t we? And seriously, there really is no time like the present.”

“That’s true… wait, present?” Phineas grinned broadly. “I knew there was something I still had to do. Wait here, I’ll be right back!”

Leaving his momentarily befuddled girlfriend behind in the living room, Phineas rushed upstairs and got into his and Ferb’s bedroom. He’d stuffed his bag behind his bed in the initial dismay after Candace had broken up with him, and he hadn’t moved it since. He collected it and quickly ran back down the stairs, momentarily freezing as he felt the object inside bounce against the wall as the bag hit it for a moment. He paused halfway through the stairs, but as he opened the bag it looked like everything was okay.

Candace really did have a point, he supposed. He was a little reckless in his usual over enthusiasm, and although he and Ferb always took basic protections while planning their inventions they could be doing more. The thought of Candace’s present getting damaged against the wall had sent him into a nervous frenzy for a moment at the thought of his perfect plan being ruined – now imagine if something were to go wrong with his projects and he or Ferb or Candace or Isabella, or even Buford or Baljeet or one of the Fireside Girls or their parents, were the one damaged? He’d never be able to forgive himself if that happened. Suddenly feeling rather solemn, he walked the final steps down to the ground floor.

Candace’s look of anticipation cheered him up again, though. She was sitting down on the couch in the living room with a glass of apple juice – after this intense night, it was no wonder she needed something to steady her nerves, and Phineas could really use something to drink himself as well – and her smile distracted him from his previous worries. He walked over and sat down next to her. “Close your eyes.”

His sister gave him a bemused smile. “Seriously? We’re going that route?”

“Just close your eyes” he urged her. “It’ll be worth it. I promise.”

Candace clearly remained skeptical, but she did what he asked for and it was enough for him to take the present out of his bag and put it down in her lap. “You can open them again now.”

Her reaction as she looked down was everything he’d hoped for and more. Candace’s jaw dropped at the sight of the plate he’d initially meant to give her on the night they broke up, touching it carefully as if she couldn’t believe it was actually there. The expression of wonder and disbelief on her face made Phineas all the more relieved that it didn’t appear to be damaged. Sure, he could have repaired it in due time, but it wouldn’t have been quite the same.

“It’s the Ducky Momo ‘I Hate People’ plate” Candace breathed. “I… I’ve been searching for so long to find it… I spent an entire day trying to buy it a year or two ago and I never managed to get it… how did you… how could you…”

Phineas shrugged and winked at her. “Ferb and I have connections” he said simply. “I knew you’d wanted this for so long, so what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t try to get it for you?”

Candace reverently put the plate down on the table and then gave her brother such an awestruck look that he wondered for a few moments whether he broke her until she embraced him and started plastering his face with kisses. “Thank you thank you thank you! You’re the best boyfriend ever!”

Phineas smiled, glad to see her so happy. “Really?” he asked. “Better than Jeremy?” That was hardly possible, was it? After all, Candace had two years of happy memories from Jeremy to rely on and only so little yet from their actual relationship…

“You know what?” Candace replied thoughtfully. “You are.” She kissed his cheek. “You are better than Jeremy, and don’t ever let me forget it again.”

Phineas broke into an awkward grin, and he stared at his sister for a few seconds before kissing her on the lips. She instantly reciprocated, and he could feel her hands stroking his back, her arms so tightly pressed around him… he loved it, he loved her, and it was amazing. It wasn’t better than inventing per se but it was just so entirely different from inventing, and yet so absolutely special. Within his sister’s embrace, he just felt comfortable and at home. He had feelings he never had before. A sense of intimacy he never felt before. It felt as if there was nothing left in the world but Candace Gertrude Flynn and as if he could see her entire personality reflected in her eyes. Her charm, the way she could be so sweet and loving and protective in a way no one else seemed to understand the attraction of. Tonight, Phineas couldn’t help but feel that that was their loss. Candace was his now, forever and ever, and he didn’t care what people said about her, _he_ loved her. He loved her so much.

He tried kissing her harder and deeper this time. It wouldn’t do for Candace not to enjoy the sensation. “So…” he said, shyly but with a hint of playfulness. “Am I a better kisser than Jeremy yet, too?”

“You’re getting there” Candace replied, snorting. “I remember the time I thought you didn’t even know what French kissing was.”

Phineas rolled his eyes. “Hey, I’m not stupid.”

Candace nodded, her face inches away from his even when they weren’t kissing. “Yeah, I know that _now_. I’ll never call you stupid again.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Candace” Phineas murmured, gently stroking her cheek.

“Hmm-hmm…” He could feel her head resting on his shoulder and the relaxation that entered her limbs. “So, are we just going to sit here and make out for the rest of the night or what?”

“I’m fine with it if you are” Phineas replied. “But seriously, we should probably move before that to avoid having Ferb walk in on us.”

Candace snorted and kissed his cheek again while simultaneously ruffling his hair. “Seriously, you’re not going to think about stuff like inventing and hanging out with Ferb while we’re doing this, are you?”

“You are making that difficult” Phineas admitted. Candace kissed his neck and ran her hand down along the spine of his back. “If not to say impossible.”

A smile played around his sister’s lips, but there was a slight hint of concern in her eyes. “Warn me if you think I’m going too far. I mean, you _are_ thirteen.”

Phineas nodded. “I know. You want me to try that aging machine thing after all?”

His girlfriend looked at him and shook her head. “Phineas, you and Ferb enjoy life to the fullest the age you are now. I may not always have understood that, but by now I definitely do and it’s got me thinking… all this time I wanted to be mature, but maybe being mature isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, you know? Maybe being your age is much more valuable than any of that. I mean, I doubt that when you will be my age you’d really be all that different from how you are now but even so, I don’t want you to give up on what you have now for me.”

Phineas contemplated that and smiled. “Fair enough.”

“And it’s not like you’re really thirteen in every sense of the word anyway” Candace continued. “When I look at our relationship, you’ve often been a lot more mature than I have. And here I’ve been treating you like a three-year-old.” She shook her head. “I still can’t believe you are actually okay with the fact that I did all that. I mean, looking at my track record before we started going out, I’ve got to be one of the worst girlfriends ever.”

Phineas frowned and momentarily drew back. “Don’t you think that’s going too far, Candace? What on earth would make you say something like that?”

Candace sighed, and the pained expression on her face shot right through Phineas’ heart. “Realizing what I’ve been doing wrong the last years, for one. I mean, just look at all those stupid things I do and keep doing because I’m so incredibly flawed! I’m obsessive…”

“‘Focused’ would be a better term.”

“Neurotic…”

“Energetic.”

“Paranoid…”

“Cautious.”

“Rude…”

“Honest.” Phineas sighed. “Seriously, Candace… I’m not blind to the fact that you have flaws. I know that. But that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, or that every one of those things is automatically bad. I don’t know where I’d be without your determination serving as an inspiration for me, and I can’t thank you enough for always looking out for me.”

The look on Candace’s face told him that although part of his sister’s mind wanted to accept his compliments, the other part was unyielding. The things she had realized about herself were too strong for her to feel right about herself again so soon. “You’re way too nice to me right now. In the end, I just keep making the same mistakes over and over again, and I don’t even want to make them, I know I should change… but I just keep doing the wrong thing again and again. I…” She sighed. “I was so angry when Jeremy first suggested seeing a shrink, but now… do you think it could help me, Phineas?”

Her boyfriend hesitated, well aware that Candace valued his opinion now more than ever before. He used to be the person she came to if she needed help from a physical problem, whether that was the need for a new cell phone or being turned into a fly; from now on, she knew he was the one she could rely on to be there for her with regards to her mental problems as well. “I don’t know” he honestly admitted. “On one hand, there may be issues that remain problematic even if we can help you to stop doing all those things that used to stress you out, like busting and obsessing over Jeremy and worrying about everything. But on the other hand, we probably couldn’t tell a therapist about everything that’s happened over the last month, and I really do hope we could make some progress even without professional help. Below those problems you’re one of the sweetest people I know, and it wouldn’t fit very well with _Carpe Diem_ if we gave up on bringing that person to the surface without even trying. Maybe we could go inside your mind again?”

“Maybe we could do that” Candace replied. “But…” She sighed. “I don’t know, Phineas. I want to change, and I want to try to be a better person and stop driving everyone away from me, but I’m afraid that no matter what kind of lessons I’d learn I would forget within days because the urges beneath are just too strong. I am neurotic, stress-prone and obsessive. It’s who I am, it’s what no one can change about me, and it’s why I’m just going to keep making the same mistakes over and over again.”

“So _what_?” Phineas replied firmly. He sighed and stared at the beautiful, downcast girl sitting opposite him. “So what if you do stuff you realize afterwards you shouldn’t have done. Yeah, maybe you’re flawed. Maybe you’re not perfect. You’re close enough for _me_ , Candace!”

His sister stared at him for a moment, and he stared back. “Do you really mean that?” she finally whispered.

Phineas nodded. “Of course I do.”

Candace smiled, clearly touched. “That’s one of the nicest things someone has ever said to me” she replied softly. “Thank you. Thank you so much. I just wish there was something… wait one second.”

She got up and walked over to the hallway before returning a moment later carrying a small bottle. “I got this bottle of deodorant as a present for Jeremy. Obviously, I can’t give it to him anymore now, and since you’ve kind of taken his place in my life… do you want to have it? I know it’s not much, but…”

Phineas took the bottle of deodorant, smiling broadly. “Are you kidding? This is great! Just look at all the chemicals involved in this brand! I could spend hours experimenting on this!”

Candace chuckled. “It’s going to be a strange adjustment to have a scientist for a boyfriend.”

“In a good or a bad way?” Phineas inquired.

His sister did have to ponder that for a moment, but then she nodded. “Definitely good. I just can’t shake the feeling tonight that I don’t entirely deserve it.”

Phineas embraced her and patted her back. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Candace. It’s not like I have never done things I’m not proud of either. Remember how we went around the world that one summer solstice and I yelled at you? I mean, you were obstructing our progress, but that doesn’t mean I should have lost my temper at you like that.”

Candace sighed. “Phinny, Phinny…” She put a hand under his head and lifted it up slightly to look directly into his eyes. “I barely even remember that that happened. You shouldn’t be so upset about it. It’s something I’ve long since forgotten about, and so should you. We’re boyfriend and girlfriend now – shouldn’t we focus on having the best future ever?”

Her brother smiled briefly at her invocation of (a form of) his catchphrase, but as he couldn’t help but remember all the events of that fateful day – the day which had ended with Candace getting together with Jeremy, which had bothered him slightly for a reason he couldn’t explain until now – the smile wasn’t fully there. “But I still yelled at you. I mean, it was for a good cause, and I probably couldn’t have solved that problem any other way, but I was just so frustrated because you didn’t want to take the tricycle, and we were on the verge of losing the bet and not being able to do the impossible ever again so I did what I had to do but it still upset me afterwards, because I just feel like I should have been able to talk to you and explain it all, and I suppose we could’ve just left you there but it wouldn’t have felt like victory if you weren’t there to share it with us, so I just had to take you along and I did what I felt like I had to do at the time but looking back it just feels selfish, and I couldn’t understand why you thought getting on the tricycle was so humiliating, but that doesn’t matter because if you thought so I probably should’ve respected that, but there was no way we really could have within or schedule and…”

A gentle kiss on his cheek made him stop talking for a moment, and Candace gave him a meaningful look which even he could interpret as telling him to drop the subject. “ _Less_ talky, _more_ kissy.”

Her brother frowned. “I’m not sure if that’s grammatically corre-”

Candace cut him off by crashing her lips against his. When she had assured herself that he would stay quiet, she pulled away again and gave him a look. “If I wanted to have my make-out capacities judged based on _grammar_ , I could’ve gone out with Baljeet.”

Phineas chuckled despite himself. “Hey, I’ll have you know it that there’s nothing wrong with Baljeet, and there’s more to him than math and grammar. He’s a great friend.”

His sister pondered that. “Yeah, I suppose so. And him being a math buff could definitely come in handy during some of your projects.”

Phineas nodded pensively. “I’d been meaning to ask you about our projects, actually. I never got a clear answer on why you were always trying to bust us.” He felt Candace’s body tense up against his and wanted to kick himself – now he’d inadvertently guilt-tripped her yet _again_. “It’s okay, I’m not going to judge you. I’m just curious, that’s all.”

Candace looked into his eyes, and Phineas saw there was genuine discomfort there. It made him hug her even tighter. “I-I still don’t know, actually” she admitted. “After we broke up, I talked to Ferb about it and he got me to see that my reasoning was nonsense… but I still don’t entirely understand why I always felt the need to do it. Of course, after some time I just tried to bust you out of habit and to get Mom to see that I really wasn’t crazy, but originally?” She shrugged. “Frustration, I guess, whenever you would disrupt something I was working on. Jealousy that you could do so much and get away with it while I’d get busted every time I tried something, no matter what. Fear that you guys could get hurt. And by the end of the day it was just sheer obsession by whatever it was that you were doing. I just couldn’t get myself to relax anymore. And throughout all that I never really understood how important it was to you, which I should have from what you just told me happened on the day we went around the world, but I guess I’ve got a tendency to be shortsighted and forget or ignore the lessons I learn.” She sighed. “Gee, when I put it like this it feels like I’ve been just plain horrible all the way through.”

“Don’t say that” Phineas replied. “Like I told you earlier, you’re a great person. Not without your flaws, no, but your flaws only accentuate your personality and make you who you are.”

His sister smiled faintly. “You can turn a positive spin on everything, can’t you?”

“Anyone can if they try hard enough” Phineas said. “And those impulses that drove you to bust, as understandable as they might be, really aren’t based on anything. Take the fear about us getting hurt, for one. Although it’s great to hear you care so much, you needn’t have worried. Ferb and I have safety procedures, we wear helmets…”

“Which still wouldn’t protect you if you fall down from, I don’t know, a tower ten times the size of our house” Candace argued. “What you guys are doing really is dangerous, and I’m your sister, your guardian, I’m supposed to look out for you. And you’re my boyfriend now, Phineas… I don’t know what I’d do with myself if something happened to you.”

Phineas gently patted her back. “It’s fine, Candace. I’m going to be fine.” He smiled at her. “I’ll look into some more safety procedures and see what I can come up with. But what was with that jealousy idea? We never stopped you from helping us…”

“That is kind of the thing, I guess” Candace said sighing. “It’d always just be helping you out, and whenever I would help I’d make a mess of it. I could never do what you guys did. Whatever I’d do, you’d just outdo me. Every time I try to come up with something great for Mom’s birthday, for instance, you and Ferb come up with something even bigger. I… I just can’t do it. I’m your older sister, and everyone ignores me because they think I’m crazy.”

Phineas frowned. “That’s not true. Mom and Dad love you, Ferb loves you… and _I_ love you. You’re not crazy and you’re certainly not incapable. If you just believe in yourself, you can do anything! Haven’t I shown you that so many times?”

Candace sighed. “You mean well, Phineas, but you can’t change the fact that people tend to ignore whatever I make. When you guys build something, everyone’s all like, ‘oh, that’s the great thing Phineas and Ferb made, let’s check it out!’ and whenever I do something, everyone’s like ‘what, did you say something Candace?’ It’s like that all the time. You… you’re the only one who doesn’t treat me like that. You seem to think I’m special. I never realized until tonight how unique and amazing the way you love and appreciate me really is.”

Phineas sighed, wondering why his words just didn’t seem to quite accomplish what he’d hoped to accomplish with them. He gazed at his sister, noticing the quiet rain in the background had stopped. So much for that extra sense of intimacy. “I do think you’re special, because you _are_ ” he insisted. “Look, why don’t we… why don’t we try to change people’s views, then? We could build something together and show the world and your own insecurities that you’re just as capable as I am, or as Ferb is. We need to get you the appreciation you deserve.”

From the touched look on Candace’s face, his words were getting through. “That’s really sweet, Phineas. But I don’t see how helping you out on something, whatever it is, would prove anything beyond that I am capable of helping _you_ build an invention.”

Phineas stared at her. “That’s why it wouldn’t be my invention. It would be yours.”

Candace frowned. “I beg your pardon?”

“Your invention.” Phineas grinned broadly at her, and it was contagious enough to make Candace smile a bit. “Your idea, your project, your execution, with added safety measures on the side. There’s no way anyone would be able to dispute it’s your work then.”

Candace looked concerned in a way that tugged at her brother’s heartstrings. “But what if I couldn’t do it?”

“Of course you could!” Phineas said cheerfully. “That’s the beauty of carpe diem. You can do anything, Candace. But if you want me to, of course I’ll be there to help you out and guide you every step of the way. It’ll still be your work, though.” He smiled confidently at her. “What do you say? You and me, working together on a project?”

Candace grinned. “It’s a date. Probably literally, too.”

Phineas smirked. “I think I’d like that.”

His sister nodded. “I figured you would.” She pulled him towards her and kissed him, probably even more passionately than before. It was as if they needed a breath from talking for so long and were now ready to get back to making love. Because that was what they were doing now. By this point, Phineas had no doubt they were both very much in love with one another.

It just felt so relaxing to kiss Candace. It didn’t need to be anything more than that – well, maybe rubbing each other’s backs was nice, but they were both way too young for anything beyond that. And although Phineas felt like he was improving his kissing skills, he knew he couldn’t approach this like his inventions. This was different. This was romance. It involved being soft and gentle and mindful of what Candace thought.

It was definitely going to be complex to date his sister. He had no doubts about that anymore, not after everything that had happened. Ferb had been right. Candace had been right. They’d have to conceal their relationship from other people because if they didn’t it could end disastrously. There were so many concerns that they would have to deal with… and yet, for the moment, it felt like none of those mattered. He was here, with his sister, and he was kissing her. They were both so caught up in the kiss that everything else in the world was forgotten, and went unnoticed.

Unfortunately, that included the key turning in the lock of the front door.

“Phineas, whatcha think you’re do- _WHAT?!_ ”

Within his embrace, he could feel Candace tense up again. For once, he couldn’t blame her in the slightest.


	27. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, when I wasn't actually trying to hurt you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Doofenshmirtz, "It's About Time". 
> 
> Well, it took a while to upload this one because I sort of fell out of my regular pattern due to the new year and because I was never sure on how to write this part of the story so it was subject to a lot of revision. But anyway, here's a new chapter. It's a two-parter, from Isabella's and Candace's POV, meaning the next chapter will feature Ferb and Phineas. Please read and review! Your thoughts are important, especially since as I said I put some thought into how exactly to write this but I know there might be people who disagree on how I've handled the issue, so if you do have criticism for any reason whatsoever, please tell me about it.

“Phineas, whatcha think you’re do- _WHAT?!_ ”

The original tone of that statement had already been upset – and with reason, of course, as Isabella had just been… well, betrayed by Phineas. Ferb couldn’t think of another word to portray the sentiment with. But that feeling of hurt and anger had clearly shot up to the roof in the final part of the sentence.

Frankly, Ferb couldn’t blame her, and more than ever before he was tempted to blame himself for the situation. He should have checked in advance, warned her, told her everything, done _something_ to avert this situation. But in an ironic paradox, his usual tendency to hold back and not speak up had mixed with his flare of hotheadedness after hearing that his stepbrother, the nicest guy in Danville, had unceremoniously dumped Isabella Garcia-Shapiro at Paul Bunyan’s. And as a result they had stormed into a scene that was too cliché to have happened but still had – Phineas and Candace making out.

It came as a surprise to him, even. From the moment he heard about Isabella having been dumped, Ferb had realized that his darkest fears had become true and Phineas had, in fact, consciously or subconsciously _used_ her to get Candace back. Even so it was strange to see it happening so soon, that all that transpired between them seemed to have been forgotten. The sheer shock factor momentarily overwhelmed the anger he’d felt until now, and the view might have been touching if not for the fact that a pale Isabella was standing right next to him, gaping at the sight. An Isabella who hadn’t had the slightest inkling any of this had been going on.

Until now.

Isabella blinked, her mouth forming the word ‘creep’ or ‘freak’ – Ferb couldn’t tell – but her voice apparently not ready to say that to her lifelong crush. His own resolve to do something was weakened by the reminder that this was primarily Isabella’s argument with Phineas and that she was the one who had the right to be angry, not him. He therefore waited for Isabella to move, but when nothing happened it was Phineas who made the first move. He pulled loose of Candace’s embrace, stood up and took a step towards the girl he’d just offended so severely. “Isabella, I…”

“Stay there!” Isabella snapped, her voice sounding a bit haughty but also genuinely hurt and offended. Surprised by her ferocity, Phineas did exactly what she said. “How… how could you? How _dare_ you? Even if you never liked me, never cared about me at all… that’s your sister, Phineas! It’s bad enough that you’re breaking my heart, but did you have to do it using your _sister_?”

Ferb could see his stepbrother was deeply hurt by this, and he would have instantly stepped in to protect him if not for the fact that Isabella’s accusations were kind of true. Not to mention that he was still feeling guilty for not telling Isabella anything before this, and, well, Phineas had made his own mistakes by hurting his lifelong friend in that way. He’d just have to face up to them. Ferb had protected him from the consequences of his actions for far too long already.

“Isabella,” his brother stammered, “I never… I never would have wanted to break your heart. You’re my best friend! I just…” He looked so vulnerable that Candace stood up and took position next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Isabella just stared at them, her mind apparently still unable to grasp the reality of what she was seeing. Ferb had no idea what exactly was going on in her head at that moment, but he could hazard a good guess. Betrayal. Dreams shattered. Moral outrage (well, part moral outrage and part total surprise, probably). Hurt. And just plain fury, with anger abruptly replacing the affection she had felt for all those years. Ferb considered putting a hand on her shoulder, but decided against it because he had no idea how she would react. Ordinarily, he would have worried about Phineas and Candace’s reactions too, given that him physically comforting Isabella while Candace was physically comforting Phineas could give the impression of a standoff and of clear division between them… but since that impression would be exactly true, Ferb for one could have cared less.

“Do you…” Isabella spoke up, still struggling to make up a coherent sentence. She was still mostly angry and confused, but it was clear from her voice that hurt was seeping in now. “Do you have any idea how long I have wanted you to love me? How long I’ve longed for you wrapping your arms around me, kissing me, dating me… I dreamed of us having a future together. A future in which we’d get married and have kids, the whole picture… I _loved_ you, Phineas, and I’ve done so for longer than I can even remember. And then to see you making out with your _own_ _sister_!”

“Why are you all making such a big deal out of that!” Phineas exclaimed. He was still as oblivious to other people’s emotions as always, but it wasn’t so adorable now that he’d messed up so much. “It took me weeks to win Candace over in the first place – not because she didn’t love me, but because she didn’t want to admit that she did because I was her brother! Isabella, I never wanted to hurt your feelings and I’m so sorry that you had to find out this way, but, well…” He took a deep breath. “You’re a great friend, the greatest I could ever have wished for, but I _love_ Candace!”

“Don’t give me that – that crap!” Isabella shouted. “If you didn’t want to hurt me, then why did you take me out on a date tonight and just as I was thinking my dreams were finally coming true, dump me?”

Phineas blinked. “I told you straight-out that I was just taking you out as a friend” he said with a calmness that only served to draw his brother’s anger even more. “And I didn’t dump you there, I asked you whether you were fine and you said you were! If you thought I was hurting your feelings or if you wanted me to take you home, why didn’t you speak up to me about it?”

Before Isabella could respond to that, Ferb stepped forwards. “Seriously, Phineas?” he said, his voice soft but also icy. “Were you that oblivious to think that you could just leave Isabella out there all by herself and she wouldn’t mind at all?”

Phineas smiled faintly. “Whoa Ferb, you’re talkative today” he said. His smile quickly dissipating as he noticed the look in his brother’s eyes, he added: “Well, I guess it wasn’t the ideal ending to our dinner night, but I thought it was an emergency at the-”

“Really, Phineas” Ferb snarled so bitterly that both of his siblings shrank back under his gaze. “You _knew_ Isabella liked you. We told you straight-out. You can’t have been so naïve to think that she would be perfectly fine with going out to dinner with you without any connotations attached – and even if you were, the Phineas Flynn I knew would never have dumped a person he called ‘his best friend’ without anywhere to go… but maybe that Phineas is gone!”

“Yeah!” Isabella spoke up. “I’ve been your friend for years, Phineas, and this is how you repay me? That’s not the Phineas I know at all! I suddenly feel like I don’t know you anymore! Did – did you even care about me at all, or was it all just a _stupid_ ploy to get your _stupid_ relationship with –”

“That’s **_enough_** , Shapiro!” Candace cut in. “You think _you’ve_ got any right to feel betrayed by someone keeping a secret from you? What about when Phineas found out that you’ve never simply been his friend, that you’d been pining after him all those years and had never breathed a word about it – how do you think that made him feel about _you_? This is exactly the kind of entitlement which was why I could never care less about that silly crush of yours. Newsflash, Isabella: Phineas doesn’t _have_ to like you. Just because you’ve always wanted it doesn’t mean that your hopes of marrying him are anything more than childish pipe-dreams!”

“Oh, so I should just step aside so he can be freaky with his sister?” Isabella yelled. The part of Ferb’s mind that could still see the whole situation clearly – more or less – wondered whether Isabella’s outrage stemmed more from her being genuinely offended by Phineas and Candace’s relationship, or whether she was more stunned and jealous and snatching on the easiest thing with which she could strike at her old friends.

“I-I love Candace, Isabella!” Phineas stammered. “I don’t know why that’s so hard for you to understand, but…”

“Because it’s insane, it’s nonsense, and it breaks my heart because all that time I thought you were a sane, amazing guy rather than some incestuous creep!” Isabella yelled. “But if that’s how it’s going to be, then – then – then have it your way, but don’t expect to ever see me here again! Bu-bu-but that’s what you wanted anyway, isn’t it?” Drained, she burst out crying and stormed out of the door.

The sound of the door slam echoed through the house. Shocked, Phineas turned to his stepbrother. “Ferb, can you…”

“Oh no, Phineas” Ferb said grimly. “I’m done helping you get out of the mess you consciously got yourself into! I don’t even care anymore what your bloody intentions were, but you broke her heart and now it may be shattered forever!”

Then, he made a mistake he would regret from that day on, one he wasn’t even sure of at the time. He guessed that it was all the anger, built up from the heated discussion with Isabella, Candace and Phineas, anger directed both at his brother for stamping on the girl he loved, but also at himself for messing up so many things… and that anger needed out. Thus, he hit Phineas on his cheek, hard, and stormed out after Isabella.

oooooooo

The sound of the second door slam in a row shocked Candace out of her reverie. She blinked, as if she had to come to terms with what had really just happened. As she noticed her brother’s red cheek, she shrieked. “Phineas!”

Before he could say anything she rushed off, got a washcloth out of a cabinet, and soaked it with the water turned down as cold as she could get it. She then brought it to Phineas, who was by then sitting down on the couch again. He graciously accepted it, but his gaze remained down on the ground even as she sat down next to him. She could see that either Ferb’s last words or the way he’d hit him had really struck home with him.

“It’s okay, Candace” he murmured. “I’ll be fine. I – I was wrong. About everything.”

Candace stared stubbornly at him, not quite sure what he meant by ‘everything’ but not liking it anyway. “That’s nonsense.”

Phineas shook his head, pressing the washcloth against his face. “No it’s not, and Ferb was fully within his rights to slap me. I hurt Isabella, one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I wasn’t honest with her, I crushed her dreams, and even though somewhere I knew I couldn’t just leave her there, I still did. Ferb was right – I should have known. But I still went ahead with it, and it was all just to get you to like me again. I made her think that I used her to get to you, that she wasn’t my real friend, and the first part’s not even untrue.”

Candace shook her head and put an arm around his shoulder. “But she made you think the same thing, right?” she replied firmly. “That she only cared for you because of her crush on you, and that every attention she ever paid to you and the amazing things you did was for that purpose.” Her boyfriend shuddered, and she felt a pang of uneasiness at having to drag it all up. The thing was, she wanted to comfort him like he had comforted her, but she just didn’t know how to do it.

“I really appreciated the gesture you did for me, though” she gently whispered. “Maybe you made a few mistakes, but it just goes to show how hard you worried about losing me, and how much you cared for me. And no,” she added as she noticed the expression on Phineas’ face change back into guilt again, “that doesn’t mean everything Isabella ever did was okay because it was a sign that she cared about you. I mean, you and I love each other as siblings and as lovers, right?” Phineas nodded. “But Isabella never clarified even now whether she cared about you as a friend as well, and she assumed you’d like her romantically without having any valid reason to do so. What she did for and to you shows how obsessed she’s become. What you did for me is the biggest thing – on a romantic scale – anyone’s ever done for me.”

Phineas smiled faintly – she was having the right effect on him. “Bigger than the Ducky Momo tickets?”

Candace snorted. “Wait, that was already part of you trying to win my heart? You never told me that!” She gave him a friendly poke in the shoulder, and he grinned. “How long has this been going on for?”

Phineas shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe a few months, or…” He shook his head. “But that’s not the point. The point is that I messed up, I broke Isabella’s heart, and that I should go over there and apologize – if she’ll still let me.”

“Phineas…” Candace began.

“I need to do this, Candace” Phineas replied. There was an unfamiliar look of grim determination in his eyes. “You can’t stop me. I just want to know one thing – after I told you what I had been planning for the dinner, did you realize Isabella would be mad?” Candace blushed. “It’s okay, I’m not going to get angry with you. We’ve seen far too much of that tonight.”

Candace pondered the question. “When you told me everything, I did wonder whether Isabella wouldn’t be hurt by this” she said. “But I wasn’t sure, and since you did this to make me jealous I figured you might have taken it into account… I really should have spoken up sooner, but I guess I didn’t think about it again.”

Phineas nodded. “But you’re – well, you. You have always freaked out when you even saw Jeremy spend time with another girl, so I figured this just might work on you.” Again that blunt honesty, not out of a desire to offend but because Phineas simply looked only at the bright side of his statements – a character trait that had first been annoying, but could definitely be charming at times. “But I never really connected the dots with Isabella… I figured that she couldn’t see anything strange in just going out to dinner. I guess I was wrong.”

“You just might have been right if it had been anyone but Isabella” Candace said. “She’s been pining over you for years, looking out for every scrap of attention she could get. And all of that just… vanished tonight, I guess.”

Phineas sniffled. “Do you think she hates me now, Candace?”

He looked so miserable that Candace instantly pulled him close and hugged him harder than she’d ever done before, giving him a kiss on his cheek to dry away his tears. “She’s shocked” she replied. “She reacted harshly – overreacted, if you ask me. But I can’t believe she truly hates you. If she does, then she’s not the Isabella we’ve always known.”

Phineas snorted. “A lot of people seem to be not the ones we’ve always known. Ever since I found out Isabella had this lifelong crush on me I keep wondering if I ever really met the true her.” He shook his head. “We’ve all made mistakes tonight, you know. We’ve all hurt each other over the past months – I hurt Isabella, Isabella hurt me, and Ferb is mad at me for hurting Izzy.” She noticed he wasn’t including her in the equation, but before she could say anything about that he continued. “Maybe the way Isabella hurt me and withheld the truth from me tonight and before that is worse than what I did to her tonight. Maybe it’s not. I don’t even know anymore. And after all that, I still don’t have the complete picture.”

Candace nodded and patted his back, knowing what her brother wanted to do next and realizing he was right. “Well, there is only one way to find out.”

Phineas sighed. “You’re right. If I sit here for much longer I’ll get cold feet.” He stood up and walked over to the door. Candace tried to follow him, but before she could reach their coats her brother turned towards her. “No offense, Candy, but I think you should stay here.”

Candace frowned. “Phineas, I…”

“Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that you want to help,” Phineas hurriedly said, “and in any other case I would have loved to have you at my side. But Isabella already thinks we’re freaks for dating. I think I would blow any chance I still have to reconcile with her – _and_ with Ferb – if I showed up with you.”

As much as Candace hated to admit it, that was actually a pretty good point. A mature, non-oblivious point, even. She nodded, and kissed her boyfriend lightly on the lips. “Good luck.”

“I’ll need it.” With that, he left, Candace watching as he walked over to the Garcia-Shapiro house, the place where Ferb and Isabella would most likely be. As he slowly crossed the street, she got a glimpse of his reflection in the moonlight and was struck by his downcast appearance. Gone was the Phineas Flynn she once knew, the one she had fallen in love with, that excited, young, bright, spirited inventor who always knew what to do today, who cared little about too passionate romance or anything long-term or deeply emotional – not because he was indifferent, but because to him anything potentially negative really didn’t exist. She wondered whether that version of her brother… and her boyfriend… would ever be back. Phineas was right, they had all hurt each other in various ways tonight. Could the situation really be fixed just like that?

Sighing, she closed the door.


	28. "Don't worry. It'll be all right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Ferb, "When Worlds Collide". 
> 
> Everyone who's vaguely familiar with the shipping patterns in this fandom and the canonical basis for it should know from the title quote where this chapter is headed in terms of pairings. As in Chapter Sixteen, this quote is pretty much the only one I could have used. And like with that chapter, I'd really appreciate some constructive criticism here. This was a part of the story I wrote a long time in advance and maybe it just doesn't work as well now as I thought it did then. If there's anything at all that strikes you as off, by all means please tell me about it.
> 
> Also, regarding the first scene of the chapter, which I wrote a long time ago - January last year, in fact - I've come up with a whole AU of my own story which I call the 'Severed Bonds AU' Yes, an alternate universe of my own fanfic. There will be a separate short story relating to that and a few drabbles in my Drabbles collection partain to it. The premise is simple: what if Isabella is just a little more heartbroken, a little more in despair... and impulsively takes the plunge into the pool? 
> 
> The result is a very, very dark alternate ending indeed.

The moonlight lit up the family pool behind the Garcia-Shapiro home. The water, blue with a yellow glow because of the light, was completely still and serene.

It could be very, very easy. All she had to do was jump and let go. The pool wasn’t all that deep, but it was deep enough to put her out of her misery within a few minutes. Yes, her family and friends would miss her, yes, it went against every Fireside Girl survival instinct she had… but this was the end of her dreams, the end of a decade-old-crush that had dominated so much of her life – far too much, in retrospect. A crush which was never supposed to end this way and now that it had, her heart should end along with it. Or at least, that was the theory.

So why was she still sitting by the pool, sifting the drops of water through her hand and slightly stirring it by doing so, watching the small waves she created… but not taking the plunge?

Maybe it was just plain survival instincts. That made a lot of sense. Even in this moment of horrid despair, it wasn’t quite bad enough for Isabella to wish to die, although Phineas’ rejection had seemingly left her with what she’d previously thought of as her purpose in life totally destroyed. But perhaps she wasn’t as shattered by that part of the whole ordeal as she’d come to expect. Yes, she was heartbroken. Shell-shocked. Freaked out at the thought of seeing him, doing that, with… with _her_. That alone was enough reason to numbly stare ahead in misery – if it had been someone she didn’t know, a random pretty girl at school Phineas had fallen for, it might not have hurt as much as it did now that he was dumping her for his own _sister_ , for reasons she couldn’t even begin to understand.

But perhaps… perhaps a part of her despair came from something else altogether, something that had only just occurred to her and something she needed an explanation for before she could even consider jumping. It was the horrible feeling of deceit, deceit from a young man she’d come to view as her best friend. A boy whom she had been sure she could rely on through thick and thin. A boy who had genuinely seemed to care for her.

And apparently still did, for she knew without as much as a glance in his direction that the footsteps she was hearing behind her did not belong to Phineas Flynn.

“You knew about this all along, didn’t you?”

He didn’t answer. She hadn’t expected him to. Instead, he knelt down next to her, stared at the water, and waited patiently for her to speak up again.

He didn’t have to wait long. Where he was a master of stoicism and silence, she just couldn’t keep everything bottled up forever in that eerie silence. It might have been different if somebody else had been talking – _like Phineas_ , her mind automatically filled in, shooting another pang through her heart – but now she simply had to say something.

“Why, Ferb?” she said, the tears virtually leaking into her voice. “How could he… why would he… why didn’t you…”

Great, now she was a sobbing wreck. And that while she’d just had all the time in the world to prepare the questions she wanted to ask. Without a further word, she accepted the arm he put around her as he gently pressed her close.

“I’m sorry” he whispered.

Isabella looked up at him. She appreciated the words, but he had to know that wouldn’t cut it.

“I never told you because I didn’t want to hurt you” Ferb said. “Clearly, I made an enormous misjudgment in that. I should have realized sooner that this couldn’t be kept from you forever, and I apologize for doing that in the first place. As for why Phineas would date Candace instead of you, the answer is as simple as it is unfortunate – he is in love with her.”

Isabella blinked, having expected some kind of excuse. (Come to think of it, that really wouldn’t have been Ferb’s style anyway.) This was something different altogether, and if it was true – and from the look in his eyes she could see he meant every word – it went a long way in easing those hurt feelings. It was the second part of his words she had trouble with. “But how!” she insisted. “She’s his sister, Ferb!”

Ferb gave her a look, one that clearly meant _‘and you think I hadn’t thought of that before?’_ She rolled her eyes. “Okay, maybe I’m stating the obvious, but I can’t believe… I mean, I know Phineas was always clueless to romance, but this… he has to know that this isn’t right!” She wasn’t sure how much of that was genuine moral indignation and how much the hurt feelings from her own longstanding crush, but she did know she was sincere about feeling this. “Didn’t you ever tell him that?”

Ferb nodded. “Right after I realized what was going on. But he didn’t care, he’s never cared, and I don’t think he should care. He truly loves her, and by now I believe she loves him back. As long as no one else finds out, that’s the main thing that matters.”

He made it sound so simple. As if she could just move on and accept all this. But then again, she realized, that was what he had always been like. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand her feelings – he did, more than his brother ever would. Isabella wryly thought back at all the times Phineas had glossed over something sad not because he didn’t care, but because he was so optimistic that he simply couldn’t relate enough to understand and comfort her. Ferb did, but in the end he did have something of Phineas’ carefree spirit. He saw and identified the problem, but when there was nothing he could do about it he got over it and moved on, accepting the situation no matter how absurd it might be. But this wasn’t one of their wacky inventions. This was a relationship which violated Isabella’s every sense of right and wrong – even if there, too, she was admittedly more offended by the fact that he had picked his own sister over _her_ than that he had picked his sister at all.

“I just always thought…” she began, then sighed. “It seemed so inevitable that Phineas and I would end up together. Everyone expected it. I never thought about his opinion on the matter.” She remembered Candace’s final words to her, and they now hit harder than before. “I… I really _was_ living a pipe-dream, wasn’t I? Maybe… maybe I never thought about what his opinion might be… because it simply didn’t occur to me that he might not pick me…”

Now that she was looking back on this evening with the knowledge that Phineas didn’t love her, she began to realize that maybe she had gone a little overboard. Luring Phineas into a kiss was all well and good when he had still been that guy who simply hadn’t figured it out yet, but now… What had Candace said again? How did she think that made him feel?

She hadn’t considered that. She’d never really considered that.

New insecurities were clashing with old certainties struggling to reassert themselves. He… he cared about her, he was her crush, her future boyfriend! She easily recalled the haunted house, the ice cream date, the helpful attitude, the optimism and friendliness she’d first fallen for. She’d believed… no, she had _known_ she would end up with him one day. She’d known that he was in love with her, just ignorant to his feelings. All it was was a matter for those feelings to reassert themselves. And she hadn’t been the only one who’d thought that… everyone had. Her friends, her family, her teachers, everyone had been convinced they would end up together – everyone except Ferb and Candace, and they were the people who knew Phineas best.

All those little uncertainties cast aside over the past years now came to the forefront of her mind, only not as doomsday prophesies but as hard facts. Phineas had always cared about her, but never as more than a friend, and what he had presented as friendship was what she had taken for romance all along. And that changed everything.

“If he doesn’t love me…” she stammered, gulping and unsure how to go on. “If he doesn’t love me, then not only have I been looking at him the wrong way all this time, I’ve also hurt him. What I did wasn’t just cuteness or helping him grow up. It was stalking. It was the wrong thing to do.”

Beside her, Ferb blinked. “Maybe” he said softly, almost inaudibly. “But that doesn’t justify Phineas’ actions.”

It didn’t, did it? Or did it? Isabella didn’t know anymore, but the sheer fact that Ferb had been honest enough to not openly disagree with her and reassure her that she was entirely in the right and Phineas was wrong was enough to really break open her dam of insecurities. How self-absorbed had she truly been the past few years… all of their lives together! Had she ever really appreciated him as a friend? Candace’s words replayed again, and she shuddered at what Phineas would have thought of her. That she had made him think that to his best friend, he had never been more than a handsome face and a future spouse who would marry her no matter what it took…

‘ _Even if that’s true, it’s not like you’re alone in this_ ’ a voice in her brain argued. ‘ _Candace did the exact same thing with Jeremy when they were young._ ’ That was true, but before she could feel too much relief at it another voice popped in. ‘ _Yes, but Candace apparently got over it – and as deplorable as you might find the way in which she did, you have to admit that she’s light years ahead of you on that._ ’

Maybe what Phineas and Candace had done was wrong. Isabella really wasn’t sure anymore now that it all blurred in with each other like that – it had been too long and too much today. But the main reasons she had for being so upset was that Phineas had been so incredibly oblivious time and time again, and that he had broken her heart.

But as she now knew, that was the exact same thing she’d done to him.

Maybe he should have seen sooner that she had a crush on him, and maybe he should have known not to do what he had done tonight. But for everything she could name against him, there were far too many uncomfortable examples on her mind that she could name against herself. She’d hurt Phineas, and above all she’d sold him short by never even considering to accept the sincere friendship of a kind young man, of her favorite boy from across the street. And if it really all evened out like that…

…who did she have left to be angry with?

No one but herself.

A tear going down her cheek called her back to reality, and she became aware that Ferb was still holding her. Her friend, but one to whom she had just made very clear how stupid and wrong she had been for most of her life – if he hadn’t figured it out already. What would he think of her now? She wasn’t even sure if she could forgive herself for that now – what would Ferb think? She deliberately cast her head down, suddenly terrified to look up.

If she’d let her instincts guide her, she would either have kept staring at the water or broken away and run into the house, away from the cruelty of the outside world. But she wasn’t a Fireside Girl for nothing. She wasn’t a Fireside Troop _Leader_ for nothing. Thus, biting her lip, she looked up and despite her fears met Ferb’s gaze, preparing herself for the worst.

And instead, he smiled at her.

It was just a simple smile – and yet, it filled her heart with joy. He understood. He didn’t abandon her. Ferb, at least, out of all the people in the world which had turned out to be so different from how she had envisioned it for so long, still cared for her. “Ferb” she whispered, and then dove into his arms, hugging her friend tight. No matter how much the night had shaken her, no matter how much Phineas had hurt her and she had hurt him, she still had Ferb. A small smile appeared on her face as well and she looked up at him, barely aware that they had never been quite this close before.

She sensed a sudden tense in his mood – his arms stiffened, his smile froze, and even in the dim moonlight she could see his cheeks reddening. Had – had she accidentally offended him after all? Had he realized just what she’d done? Isabella paled and slightly scooted back within his grasp. “I’m sorry, I know I’ve made my mistakes and hurt your brother, but I…”

Ferb’s eyes widened at her confession, and she sensed that this wasn’t the reaction he had been expecting at all. Then what had he meant? He opened his mouth a few times, began to stammer something but never got just one syllable out, and then his features hardened in a grim sense of determination, of all-or-nothing.

She never had time to wonder what it was for before he kissed her.

Due to how swift it was and how utterly shocked she was at it she didn’t really register how it felt before Ferb’s lips had already left hers and he hurriedly let go of her. She just remained put, feeling if possible even more shell-shocked than she had when she’d seen Phineas and Candace do…

… what _Ferb_ had just done to her.

She only returned to earth due to noticing the unusual look on Ferb’s face – he was more flustered than she’d ever seen him, not that that was saying much because he had always been a master of his own emotions. But apparently not today, as his voice stumbled as he struggled to speak up. “I – I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me, I – ” He took a deep breath. “I should have told you sooner about this, about the way I care for you, and I should have told you sooner that Phineas didn’t love you but I did, and if I’m honest I was angrier with myself tonight than I was with him, so I…” He sighed. “I messed up. I thought I had everything in check, but I was wrong.”

He was stammering. _Ferb Fletcher_ was stammering. It would have been funny if the reason for it hadn’t been so shocking.

“It’s – it’s fine, Ferb” Isabella whispered. “It’s okay.”

But was it okay? Could this be okay? How could kissing Ferb Fletcher, Phineas’ brother, the boy who had rapidly developed into her best friend over the past months, possibly be okay?

Suddenly, her mind flashed back to her conversation with Gretchen after Ferb abandoning his crush on Vanessa. It passed the moment earlier this hour when she had wondered why she didn’t feel more hurt by Phineas’ rejection. It passed so many elements in her mind where she had been overcome by mixed, confused feelings, feelings which she now finally realized all pointed to one thing.

Romantic interest. In _Ferb_.

She looked up, more dazed by that realization than by anything that night. Those feelings nevertheless got pushed into the background when she saw the look on Ferb’s face, still more embarrassed than ever before. If not for the seriousness of tonight’s situation, she might have smiled at how cute it looked on him.

Wait, since when did she think _that_ about Ferb?

But since he was clearly upset, still thinking he’d offended her – even if a slight frown indicated his sharp mind had realized that couldn’t have been all that had happened – and that made her heart melt. Sure, maybe he had wronged her by withholding secrets from her and allowing himself to act upon all the wrong emotions, but that was one thing she couldn’t hold against him. After all, she had done the same thing tonight. And he had forgiven her, so she almost owed it to him to forgive him, him and Phineas and Candace too, so that they could all rebuild from a blank slate once more.

Isabella had once wondered what the deal was with Ferb Fletcher, but not paid much attention to the matter. Now she knew much more about him than she could have ever imagined, and she could tell just from a glimpse that he was terrified he’d offended her. She had to find the right words to tell him that he hadn’t destroyed their friendship, that no matter what happened between them and the others tonight they still had each other and that wasn’t going to change. And given time, she was sure that she could have come up with a great solution of what to tell Ferb to convince him everything was all right again.

But like Ferb himself had indicated just a minute ago, sometimes you didn’t contemplate what you should do, or could do. Sometimes you realized what you wanted to do, and seized that opportunity not because it was _right_ , but because it was _possible_. Because you wanted to show, not tell – to act, not talk. Because you wanted – in glorious Phineas and Ferb tradition – to seize the day.

And thus, Isabella leaned forward, and forcefully kissed Ferb back.

Even though he was clearly surprised, it didn’t take him very long to respond to her kiss. And it… felt good. All right. Peaceful. He wasn’t Phineas, but then again, she had no idea what kissing Phineas would have been like, had she? Maybe it would have been better or worse, but this… this was okay. Absolutely crazy, but okay. Somehow, kissing Ferb made her calm down and feel at ease with herself and the world more than she had in a long time. This was good. At the risk of sounding cliché, nothing could disturb this moment.

“WHAT?”

Then again – they do say that what goes around, comes around.


	29. "Memories."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Phineas, "Last Day of Summer". 
> 
> All right, this is the final chapter of a rollercoaster of clouded emotions and heated arguments. There will be a two-part epilogue after this, but this is it for the main autumn narrative. If anyone's still reading this, I'd be really interested in hearing all of your thoughts on the piece.

It shouldn’t have taken Phineas Flynn too long to cross the road to Isabella’s house and track down what had been his best friends. It was directly across the street, after all, and from what he knew of her and Ferb they would probably be in the yard. That guess was confirmed when he noticed there were no lights on in the house. Isabella’s mother was still off to see her father, a visit which he knew was about to end as a still exuberant Isabella had made that one of the subjects to ramble all about earlier in the evening, but if Isabella would have been inside the lights would nevertheless have been on. Which meant that logically, she was probably at the pool.

The memories haunted his mind of Isabella being happy, radiant, beaming, and probably hitting on him a few times that he hadn’t noticed. The thoughts really hit home now. He had never consciously meant to hurt her, and now that he had… could she ever forgive him? Would she ever forgive him, for not being the guy she thought he was?

Perhaps he could explain to her. Explain how he felt for Candace, and that he could try to replicate that feeling with her but that it just wouldn’t be the same. That she still meant a lot to him, only just not romantically. But hadn’t he tried to say that just a few minutes ago, and hadn’t that still resulted in her slamming the door in his face?

And then there was Ferb, whose departure stung if possible even harder. Somewhere he felt that Ferb would eventually forgive him – even though he didn’t have high hopes for the situation right now – but even the fact that this fight had happened was bad enough. Ferb was his brother. His best friend throughout all his troubles. He and Ferb had always been of one mind on everything. If that ended, no matter how briefly… he wouldn’t know what to do. Go through life alone, without Ferb? Just the thought was absolutely alien to his mind.

Fear of being hurt, however, wouldn’t help him. He needed to keep his spirits up – and since when did _he_ need to worry about that – and have faith that everything was going to turn out all right. That he would be able to talk it out so that they could all live happily ever after.

He took a deep breath, and opened the gate to the garden…

…and then he saw it.

“WHAT?”

The couple broke apart right after his exclamation, but the damage had already been done. Phineas clung to the gate, replaying the scene in his mind over and over again. Ferb and Isabella… _kissing_? Ferb… and _Isabella_? Isabella… and _Ferb_?

It was madness. Absolute madness. And yet within the context of this night, it made a strange amount of sense.

The two people whom he hoped he could still count among his friends after tonight uneasily looked at each other. “Okay,” Isabella spoke up, “I know this is really weird but you know this is really the same thing we just experienced with you and…” She hesitated. “…with you, right?”

Phineas dully nodded. “I guess so” he mumbled, walking over. “Wow. I-I wasn’t expecting that.”

Isabella blushed. “It sorta came out of the blue for us too” she replied. “I mean, Ferb and I were talking, and then we hugged, and it just… happened.”

Phineas nodded, and they simply stared at each other for a few seconds. “Isabella…” He nervously ran a hand through his hair. “I want to apologize for what happened tonight. I didn’t realize fully how what I was doing would affect and hurt you, and that’s not okay. But you did hurt me as well, and… well, you said you didn’t know who I was anymore, and you wondered whether I ever cared about you, and I’m sorry for making you question all those things… but to be honest, I’ve wondered that myself about you as well.”

He wondered whether Isabella would have another outburst towards him. What happened was, however, exactly the opposite of what he’d expected – his friend’s expression looked more resigned, perhaps even guilty. She looked up, an earnest look in her eyes. “Phineas, I’m sorry for projecting all those expectations onto you all those years. I really shouldn’t have done that. Maybe if I had spoken up sooner, but…” She shrugged. “I always assumed that you and I, that we…”

It was hard to be mad at her when she was downcast like that, and Phineas knelt down and gently put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s all right, Izzy” he said softly. “I’m sorry for inadvertently creating those expectations in the first place when I should have seen how you felt. The thought has just always been so alien to me, of you and I being together… not because of there being anything wrong with you” he hastened to add as he saw the distraught look on her face. “I just couldn’t imagine you as anything but my best friend along with Ferb. Couldn’t, and can’t. I can try to change that, but…” He shrugged, unsure how to go on. “It wouldn’t work. But even so, I’m definitely sorry about tonight.”

Isabella smiled at him. “That’s okay, Phineas. You didn’t mean to…”

“But I did” Phineas replied, sighing. “Maybe not actively so, but I should have realized that you wouldn’t take a dinner platonically. I knew you had a crush on me at that point, so I really should have been able to connect the dots. I even considered telling you the plan upfront, so that we could have laughed about Candace’s exaggerated suspiciousness together – but Ferb had said I shouldn’t tell you about me and Candace.” He didn’t want to involve his brother as long as he didn’t know whether the latter had calmed down, but credit where credit was due.

Isabella nodded knowingly, shooting a fleeting glance in Ferb’s direction. “I understand, Phineas. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt, but we’ve all been hurt in one way or another over the last days, and we’ve all said things we didn’t want to say or mean to say. Maybe we should just try to get over it and move on.”

Phineas frowned. “Meaning…”

“Meaning that we all accept we didn’t mean what we said and did to hurt each other, and try to rebuild our friendship” Isabella said, the last word still making her grimace. “Although perhaps we could take a breath first. And it also means I have to accept you… you and Candace.”

Phineas knew he had been called oblivious a lot lately – most of the times entirely correctly – but even he could see just from the look on her face that this was still something that took a lot of effort for Isabella to say. “I… I love her, Isabella. I know that’s hard for you to understand. Heck, it was hard for me to understand when I realized it the first time. But I know I love her now, and I’m not going to break up with her again.”

Isabella looked at him and nodded slowly. “No, I suppose I can’t ask that from you. Not for my sake, at any rate.” She shook her head. “You and me… was it ever going to work out anyway? I mean, considering how much we’d been keeping from each other and how little we apparently really knew each other…”

Phineas tentatively shrugged. “Well, I couldn’t really tell” he replied. “I never seriously considered a relationship with you before.”

There was still a clear troubling of Isabella’s features before she replied, but it was gone soon enough. “I know. I wonder if I’m just saying this to get myself to accept that this is the way it is, and that it can’t be changed.” She sent off a fleeting glance in Ferb’s direction, which ordinarily would have gone over Phineas’ head but which he noticed since he was paying extra attention tonight. “Perhaps… perhaps I shouldn’t even want it to change.”

Her friend didn’t really know what to say to that, so he just put a hand on Isabella’s shoulder. She flinched for a moment, but then accepted it with a bittersweet smile. “You know I still care about you, right?”

Isabella hesitated. “I wasn’t sure before” she replied. “I am now. It’s just going to take some time if we want to recover our friendship. We might have to rebuild it from the ground up after all the things we said tonight. Maybe we’re just all bad at romance, in a way.”

Phineas nodded. “After what happened tonight, that’s not a bad conclusion. Although I do think I’ve got to be the worst, if I didn’t notice you having a crush on me for ten years.”

Isabella shook her head. “I really should have said something at some point. I just kept expecting that one day you were going to pick up flirtations and become romantic… but tonight I realized that you’re never going to change all that much in that regard, and if you do you’ll do it because you want to and not because I want you to.”

“I don’t think I’d ever become a romantic, no matter how hard I tried” Phineas replied. “I’ve needed help from Ferb to come up with things to do with Candace. The first time I tried to ask her out after she and Jeremy broke up I almost messed everything up. And that’s not even mentioning the time she found out about my crush.” He shook his head, noticing to his relief that Isabella’s face wasn’t souring from the way he talked about his sister. “This romance stuff is _complicated_. I keep looking at it the same way I look at science, but that just doesn’t seem to work.”

The neutral expression was replaced by a broad grin. “ _Now_ you’re getting it” Isabella said, playfully shoving against his shoulder.

Phineas nodded and smiled, glad to see one of his best friends since childhood was okay with him again. Now he just hoped the other would have the same sense of reconciliation. He took a deep breath and turned to face his stepbrother. The tension immediately came back up again. Isabella’s expression turned back to neutral as she realized her friend wasn’t concentrating on her anymore, and Phineas wasn’t feeling very optimistic either. Yet, this had to be done. 

“Ferb.”

Phineas and Ferb just sat there for a few moments, looking each other in the eye, with Isabella not daring to break the tension by speaking up. Phineas, for his part, knew he would do anything to have Ferb as a brother and a friend again. Ferb was his partner, his inventing buddy, who was always at his side. If Ferb didn’t want to speak to him again, or even if their relationship was strained for just a few months – he wouldn’t know what to do next. Where would his inventing skills go without Ferb to help bring them into practice? Sure, he could still create stuff, but the same kind of spirit wouldn’t be in it without his brother. _He_ wouldn’t have the spirit he needed to invent if he hadn’t got Ferb at his side.

The moment lasted perhaps ten seconds. It felt more like ten minutes. But then, just as Phineas was wondering whether he should make the first move, Ferb reached out and gently touched his brother on the cheek, right at the spot where he had landed that blow under ten minutes ago. He had a quizzical look on his face.

“It’s fine, Ferb” Phineas said softly. “Candace put a cold washcloth on it, and it barely hurts anymore by now.”

Those words generated a look of relief and a smile on Ferb’s face, resulting in turn in great relief washing over Phineas as well. He reached forwards and tackled his stepbrother into a tight hug, incredibly relieved that this wasn’t the end, that he hadn’t lost Ferb forever… no, no sense thinking such dreary thoughts, everything was all right again. And he could see that clearly as Ferb grinned at him and, in return, patted him on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry” he said.

“Don’t be” Phineas replied. “Let’s just hope this won’t happen again.”

Ferb nodded and the two separated, Phineas suddenly realizing the time, the cold – a fresh breeze hitting his cheek – and he blinked. “You know, it might be better if we go home now” he said awkwardly. “Give everything time to sink in.”

He hoped he hadn’t said anything wrong this time, and sure enough Isabella nodded and smiled. “You’re right, Phineas” she replied. “Maybe we should just take a break from each other. We have all been a little too close lately, and perhaps it could be time to… you know, spend some time alone. Contemplating.”

Phineas considered that for a few seconds, but eventually nodded. It would probably be for the best if Isabella would have some time to let it all sink in. “All right” he said. “Just as long as we’re still friends… right?”

That got him a hearty grin. “Friends” Isabella replied, clasping his hand. Phineas squeezed it firmly, and it was with a relieved heart that he made his way back to his home.

He was already out of the gate when he noticed that Ferb wasn’t following. He frowned – he thought they were all right with each other again, and he knew he could read his stepbrother well enough that Ferb’s emotions had been genuine. Confused, he turned back through the gate and noticed Ferb still standing by Isabella’s side, gentlemanly helping her upright.

“So…” Ferb spoke up. “I understand how you’re feeling now, and you can just dismiss it if you think it’s too soon, but I just need some clarification on this and…”

“Just say what you’re going to say, Ferb” Isabella said gently.

Ferb nodded. “If you have time, would you mind going out for dinner sometime?”

Isabella blinked, surprised, then pondered the question. “You know what? I-I think I’d actually like that. How does Saturday sound?”

Ferb grinned charmingly at her and replied “Saturday” before walking out of the garden. He bypassed Phineas, who, though momentarily stunned from the sight, soon ran to catch up with his brother. “So, you and Isabella, huh?”

Ferb said nothing in response, but from the mysterious smile Phineas got, he definitely knew enough. “Oh, come on! I told you everything about me and Candace, and you’re just going to keep mum about you and Izzy?”

His brother smiled. “Well, you know I’m not a talker. Although getting over that is one thing I think I’ve learned tonight. I probably could have prevented all this if I’d said something either to you or to Isabella sooner.”

Phineas shrugged. “Hey, we’ve all messed up in one way or another. Let’s just try to get over it and move on. Not to say that you shouldn’t talk more, but hearing that would sound really strange.”

“I guess” Ferb replied. “Not to mention it would hurt my throat.”

There was a momentary pause before Phineas burst out laughing. Ferb clasped his shoulder, and the two just walked on home, basking in the presence of their family – each other. Now this, this meant things were all right again.

And yet, they both knew nothing would ever be quite the same anymore.

They’d gone through a great many summers and autumns. But the memories of this one were ones that would last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit that I wasn't quite sure how to end this chapter and that I extensively rewrote my original scene there by touching more on Ferb's thoughts and feelings (Ferb's role in the story as a whole seems to have gradually grown from conception to completed product). Anyone who has better thoughts on a poetic note to end it all on is free to propose them to me.


	30. Epilogue Part One - “Hey Phineas! Is it the perfect day to build one of these or what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: Candace, "The Best Lazy Day Ever". 
> 
> I just had to take the title quote from the previous time Candace tried her hand at inventing, and turned out to be remarkably good at it. (I don't care how easy that assembling set was supposed to be, you don't build a giant dinosaur in such a short period of time if you're not a Flynn.) And the first chapter of this Epilogue takes up the promise Phineas made to Candace in Chapter Twenty-Six and fulfills it. Please read and review!

_“I know what we’re gonna do today! I know what we’re gonna do today!”_

Ugh, just a few more minutes…

“Hi Candace!”

It was the same voice from her alarm clock, but it wasn’t her alarm clock. That was clear enough from the click she heard as it was being turned off. She looked up and blinked to see her brother. “Phineas?” Okay, this was weird. “What are you doing here?”

 “Waking you up for the new day!” Phineas exclaimed. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “Good morning honey.”

Candace smiled and returned the favor. “Morning sweetie.” She frowned. “You know, I don’t think these cutesy nicknames are actually going to work for us.”

Phineas nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Well, at least we gave them a try for a few days.”

His girlfriend sat up, absent-mindedly running her hand through her hair. She still felt tired, but she was beginning to adjust to her surroundings. “Seriously though, why did you come over and wake me up? You rarely ever do that anymore these days.”

“That’s just because you’re the one who said it was too conspicuous” Phineas pointed out. “But today is a special day, remember? It’s the first day of summer!”

Of course that would be the reason for Phineas to come over and help wake her up. She hadn’t even looked forwards to it that much this year, especially considering how anxious she had been to graduate with good grades. The relationship trouble earlier in the year had really set her back, and although she knew she was smart enough to pull it off that didn’t mean that she had felt secure at all the time. Fortunately Phineas had been there to support her and tell her it’d be fine, and as so often, he had been right.

“The first day of summer, huh?” she said. “I suppose you and Ferb have something especially impossible planned for the occasion?” She smirked, realizing that in other households, the words ‘especially impossible’ wouldn’t have even made sense. In this one, it was par for the course.

Phineas sat down at the end of the bed and gave her a curious grin. “Not exactly. You’re turning eighteen in a few days, aren’t you?”

Candace frowned, wondering why he’d bring up that totally unrelated fact. “Yeah…”

“Well, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but Mom and Dad have something big planned for your birthday, considering how you’ll be an adult now” Phineas explained. “So I figured that if we were going to do something special together, we’d better do that before the ‘official’ birthday party, you know?”

Candace nodded. “I’m listening…”

“So I thought, what better day than today to finally arrange what I promised you seven months ago!” Candace briefly wondered what on earth he was talking about until he put his sketchbook into her lap. As usual, the last pages were filled with ideas for inventions and complicated mathematical formulas, but the first blank page simply read ‘Candace’s project’. Her head shot up and she looked at him. “Wait, you mean…”

Phineas nodded, smiling broadly. “You told me that you didn’t feel like you could do the kind of stuff Ferb and I did” he replied. “Here’s your chance to prove yourself wrong! I’m going to get breakfast now and leave you to think in peace. Feel free to use as many pages as you want to write and think about what idea you want to make.”

She could barely nod before he left the room and it was just her and the sketchbook. Candace looked down at it, remembering the various times she had wondered whether she could just take it and show it to Mom. She’d tried it once, only for her mother not to understand it or believe it was Phineas and Ferb’s work. She loved both of her parents, but they could be so oblivious sometimes…

But back to the matter at hand, what would she do now? She had thought about creating a project of her own various times over the past few months, but she’d never really come up with anything. But now she had been put on the spot. And although of course if she couldn’t come up with anything Phineas would be perfectly okay with it and they could do something similar again next week, she kind of appreciated the fact that she’d have no way to evade this anymore. Might as well get it over with now. As the summer progressed, she would have enough things occupying her attention already, including of course preparing for college.

It was hard to believe so much time had passed since all that crazy stuff had gone down as a result of Jeremy Johnson leaving for college, and now it was time for her to head to college on her own. And – as much as she would have denied that a year or so ago – she’d miss them. Phineas, Ferb, Isabella… they were her friends, and Phineas of course was something more than that. It was moments like this that she was sad they weren’t the same age.

Wait a minute…

She knew what they would be doing today.

A half-smile on her face, Candace began to sketch out her ideas. For once, she really tried to let herself be carried away by the size of it all. Not an idea was too farfetched or impossible. Not a concept was too scientific or too complicated for her. Sure, maybe she wasn’t a science prodigy like her brothers, but she knew she did have some talent. Together, they’d do it. They would pull it off.

After her sketches and breakfast were done, she managed to show the project to Phineas around half an hour later. He was enthusiastic as always, but she could see right away that he was particularly impressed this time. Not just by the idea per se, but by the way she’d worked it out. He was proud of her. It somehow gave her a warm feeling inside.

Together with her brothers, Candace subsequently got to work. They ordered materials, built walls, invented things that were supposed to be impossible and broke the laws of physics and most laws of common sense, and all at record-breaking speed and efficiency. And what was more, she enjoyed herself. It felt like an enormous vindication to see that she could pull this off, that if she examined Phineas and Ferb’s blueprints closely enough she could actually understand them and work with them. Phineas remained at her side the entire time, constantly guiding her through the project but only really stepping up if she didn’t know how to do something at all. He was there for her when she needed him, but he wasn’t stifling her. It was a difficult balance to find but it worked in the end, and it worked so well that it was barely 11 when Phineas was already putting the finishing touch on the upper tower.

It was roughly around then that Isabella walked into the backyard. “Hey Ferb, guys, whatcha doing?”

Candace smirked and pointed upwards. “See for yourself.”

The astonished look on Isabella’s face was as satisfying as it was understandable. The castle that towered over their backyard – and she meant that ‘over’ literally, for it was lifted a few feet off the ground for no other reason than to look cool – was about as big as their house was and had all kinds of fancy windows and posters slapped on. It had been a while since they had made something as big as this. “Wow” the Fireside Girl murmured. “What is it?”

“Just come up and take a look, Isabella!” Phineas called. “Um, Candace, do you want to explain everything or should I do it?”

“You go ahead” Candace responded. “You’re better at sounding enthusiastic about projects.”

Phineas grinned and climbed back down as Candace, Ferb and Isabella took the stairway into the building. The front door was lavishly decorated with red and orange sashes and looked a lot like the entrance of a traditional fairy tale castle. True enough, the room they entered into behind it looked very much like the main hall, with a red carpet on the floor and fancy decorations everywhere (and even a licorice dispenser, which looked a bit out of place in the setting). There were three doors visible, one on the left, one on the right, and one near the end of the hallway but not quite at the end, where they could see a staircase. As Isabella was still marveling at everything and Candace and Ferb took a good look around as well, Phineas walked down the staircase and joined them in the main room.

“This looks really cool, Phineas” Isabella said. Candace noticed she was holding Ferb’s hand. “But what is it all for?”

“That’s the best part” Phineas replied, flipping some switches near the entrance. They could hear a soft buzz of electricity throughout the building. “Do you see the devices we’ve installed near the doors?” He pointed at the door on the left, where a mechanical box was indeed visible over the entrance. “They are designed to zap you as you enter a new room, and as a result… well, maybe a visual demonstration would be best.”

As Ferb and Candace exchanged glances and Isabella just looked confused, unsure of what to expect, Phineas walked up to the door. It swung open at his arrival, but sure enough, a beam out of the machine zapped him as he walked inside.

And then he shrunk.

The process happened in seconds, and Candace couldn’t help but chuckle at the look on Isabella’s face as she was suddenly confronted by a five-year-old version of her friend. “Ta-da!” Phineas exclaimed proudly. “And it’s easy to reverse again, see?” He walked underneath the laser and was smoothly transformed back to his normal self.

“But… but what’s the point?” Isabella stammered.

“Well, you’d really have to ask Candace for that, considering that she came up with the idea and helped design it in the first place” Phineas replied. “But basically, it allows us to relive our youth and anticipate the future. Every room in this castle is designed to allow who enters it the full experience of the age that accompanies it. If you’re aged five, you can play in the sandbox or use building blocks to build the best block house ever… um, sorry, an average block house, the kind normal five-year-olds build. And for when we’re ten, we’ve got a rollercoaster like in one of our first inventions, and a water tunnel with spooky statues like they have in those amusement parks!”

“The castle is bigger on the inside” Ferb clarified.

“Exactly! And there’s so much more, but I don’t want to spoil it all for you. So, what do you say? Last person who gets inside doesn’t have to worry about anyone blocking the doorway!”

Candace chuckled, and she, Ferb and Isabella followed her brother into the room, each getting zapped by the machine over the doorway as they did so. The four former teenagers gawked at the room. Sure enough, it was filled with sandboxes, a small plastic swimming pool, her Ducky Momo plush, rubber ducks, buckets and spades…

…and mirrors.

It was odd to see themselves at five years of age. Neither of them was over four feet tall, although to her annoyance Candace noticed Ferb was now clearly the tallest out of their group, a clear sign that he’d probably overtake her in real life too when their age difference would get smaller. Her attention was soon diverted from that by their general appearance, though. Phineas was wearing a white shirt and high-waisted blue pants, while Ferb wore his usual attire but with a more faded color on his purple pants. Isabella had her hair in a hair band but otherwise wore pink clothes similar to her usual attire. As for Candace herself, she wore a red shirt with a white skirt over it, exactly the way she remembered looking when she was this age.

Oh, and they all looked adorable.

“This is so cool!” Isabella gushed.

“Exactly!” Candace agreed. She smiled and looked at the sandbox, then tugged at her boyfriend’s shirt sleeve. “You wanna play in the sandbox with me and Ducky Momo, Phinny?”

That earned her a lot of surprised looks, and even Candace herself thought there had been something off about her behavior. “Did you just call Phineas ‘Phinny’?” Isabella asked. “Is that machine doing weird thingies to our brains _and_ to our bodies?”

“It’s an effect we installed” Ferb explained. “Although you largely retain your own personality, parts of it are adjusted to the ages you’re currently at. This effect may fluctuate over time but will never completely manage to override your present-day thoughts and feelings.”

Isabella blinked. “Uh…”

“Ferb said that part of our minds have become five years old, too” Phineas clarified. “He was personally pretty much the same at five years old as he is now, though. But anyway, Candy, I’ll gladly join you. What are we playing?”

Candace smiled and walked over to the sandbox, Phineas plopping down next to her. “I thought maybe we could play house? I’ll be the Mommy, you’ll be the Daddy, and Ducky Momo will be the kid we’re building a house for.”

Phineas frowned. “But Ducky Momo is a ducky, so he doesn’t really look like any of us.”

Candace gave him a light, playful shove in the side. “Just play along, dork.”

And so Phineas started building a house out of the sand for Ducky Momo, while Candace joined him and somehow got more sand over her brother than into the ‘house’ – but that was okay, for they were having fun. And after they got bored, they joined Isabella and Ferb in the swimming pool, playing tag and overall just having a simpleminded yet good time. It was so strange how being so young again could focus their brain. For once, Candace felt completely relaxed. She had no worries, she was hanging out with her friends and she didn’t want it to end.

But of course, as with many five-year-olds (even age-reversed ones), a curiosity about growing up persisted, and when Ferb and Isabella innocently ran out of the room at the other end they were zapped by a ray turning them into ten-year-olds. Phineas and Candace looked at each other in anticipation for a moment, then jumped through the laser together. And just like that, they were all five years older.

Riding the rollercoaster was an epic callback to the time of Phineas and Ferb’s first rollercoaster, and even for Candace who hadn’t been there at the time (well, except to bust them) it felt like reliving old memories. They all rode the coaster at least three times, went into a bouncing house, got into the spooky tunnel, ate snacks, rode kiddie rides when they were the average age for that again and then more thrilling rides at a different age, and did so much more as they went from one room to another.

And this time, Candace found to her surprise that she wasn’t bothered by any of it. Of course, part of that derived from the fact that she’d had a hand in planning everything. But it was just all so much… fun. They had things from all moments of life stashed together, and try as she would she couldn’t find it in herself to denounce any of it as ‘bust-worthy’. Not anymore. Maybe she was finally cured.

And then they made it to the final room.

It was the only one she hadn’t helped design at all, so while the others were still lounging in the hot tub (yes, there was a hot tub too. Because why not) Candace’s usual curiosity had gotten the better of her and made her walk ahead to see what lay beyond its entrance. After getting zapped, which was customary by now, she walked on and gasped.

The room she was in was empty, in a stark contrast with all the other rooms in the castle. But as Candace looked closer at the fireplace, the tastefully decorated windows and the smooth floor, it was easy to figure out its meaning. It was a ball room, like one people might expect to find in a real palace. Candace couldn’t stop looking at everything. The ceiling was covered with paintings of some of their own adventures done in a classical art style, the mantle over the fireplace had small golden statues on it, and even the chair near the exit looked fancy. She instantly knew that this couldn’t _all_ have been Phineas’ idea – Ferb had to have helped him or have come up with most of it – but simply the thought that he’d put in all that effort for her…

She was startled out of her thoughts on the room only when looking at the mirror. She’d been seeing various versions of herself all day, but all of those had essentially been familiar to her because they were Candaces she’d lived through in the past. The Candace that faced her in the mirror now looked older, more mature, and yet essentially still like herself. If she had to guess, she’d say she was about twenty-four now. She was wearing a dark green dress and had her hair made up, giving her just that extra bit of stylishness.

The figure she noticed approaching behind her looked familiar, but he too had changed. His face was slightly more… settled, as if he was still as happy and cheerful as ever but somehow more relaxed and laidback about it. The fact that he was ‘only’ smiling rather than the broad grin she’d grown used to from him was testament to that… then again, the sense of simple amazement rather than ecstatic enthusiasm might be an indication that he wasn’t looking at her reflection in the mirror because he wanted to see whether or not she appreciated everything, but that he was looking at her reflection for its own sake.

“It’s beautiful” she whispered.

Phineas put his hands on her shoulders and gently spun her around to face him. To her bemusement, she noticed she still had an inch on him. “ _You’re_ beautiful” he simply replied. “A young woman now.” There was a sense of awe in his voice. “Gosh, Candace… I think you’d even be old enough to be someone’s wife.”

Candace nodded. “Possibly so. I don’t have any memories from this age, though, unlike what we went through in the other rooms.”

“That’s only natural” Phineas assured her. “Our technology can’t predict the future, after all – that would require an entirely different invention altogether. We’ll just have to guess.” He sighed. “I… do you think we’re still going to be together at this age in real life, Candace?”

His sister froze up for a moment, and then she chuckled. “Since when are you the one to worry about the future?”

“I’m not exactly worried, I just started… thinking, from the moment I saw you like this” Phineas explained. “You’ve talked about going to college soon and that maybe driving us apart like it drove you and Jeremy apart, but it’s been so abstract to me until I saw you as an adult, at the age where you might be living your own life, and it suddenly worries me that maybe everything wouldn’t turn out okay.”

“I see” Candace replied softly. She noticed background music picking up and gently took Phineas’ hands in hers. “Want to dance?”

“That’s what the room is here for” Phineas said with a charming smile, joining her on the dance floor. “But… Candace, the last months have been a blast. I don’t even want to think about losing you again, and normally I don’t, but at moments like this it pops up and I can’t stop considering it and wondering whether it’s inevitable. Is that normal?”

Candace chuckled. “Trust me, I’ve gone through much more intense phases of being a worrywart than that. It’s fine. We’re going to be fine, Phineas.”

Her brother frowned. “Fine as in fine in general, or fine as in our relationship is going to be fine?”

Candace let out a deep sigh. “I kind of meant both… but I have to admit, I don’t know either” she said. “I hope so, though. There really has been something special between us the last months and I don’t want to lose that again. I think there are good reasons to have faith that this whole thing is going to last, but in the end I just don’t know.”

“We would have to keep up a secret relationship forever, though” Phineas replied. “I know you’d hate for anyone to find out about us, so that means we would never be able to disclose our true relationship to anyone. We’d have to live as nothing more than brother and sister. I could never marry you or have kids with you or anything like that.” Candace gave him a startled look. “Sorry, those are just some of the things I’ve got on my mind right now. It’s still far away, but… I don’t know, maybe the fact that we’re now in our twenties does help in bringing it all to the forefront.”

“Phineas…” Candace whispered, leaning against her brother as he slowly moved alongside her on the dance floor. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I do know that right now, we’re in love with each other, and as long as that doesn’t change and we’re still happy I don’t think we have to worry about anything.”

Phineas remained silent at that for a moment, but he smiled. “You’re absolutely right, Candace” he said. “And I do love you. Like, a lot.”

Candace chuckled at the words, their adoring simplicity betraying how much of a novice he still was at romance. Well, he would have a lifetime to learn. “I love you too, Phineas.”

She gently kissed him on the lips and just remained in place there for a while, not discontinuing the kiss but not delving deeper into it either. This was good. They were relaxed, they were together.

And for crying out loud, the world around them would have to deal them a pretty hard blow if it wanted to separate them ever again.

A few seconds after they broke apart, though, something happened which abruptly intruded on the moment. An alarm started beeping, and Phineas let go of his sister. “It’s our intruder alert system” he remarked. “But who could…”

“Phineas! Ferb!”

The siblings both froze. “Mom” Phineas whispered. “Candace, maybe you’d better stay here. We’ll go down and face her.” He walked out of the room near the front end and descended down the stairs into the hall. Isabella and Ferb, who had been peeking into their ball room at the other end, rushed after him. Candace stood in indecision for a few moments and then resolved to go after her boyfriend. Sure, Phineas had asked her to stay behind, but that just didn’t feel right. Whatever was going to happen, she needed to be there.

She got down the stairs into the main hall at a moment when her siblings and Isabella, who had all been transformed back to their normal ages, were already being confronted by her mother. Linda Flynn-Fletcher was staring at them with wide eyes filled with a mixture of anger and disbelief. “W-what is all this? Where did you get it from?”

“It’s a castle we built to give ourselves the best summer day ever” Phineas calmly explained. “It has various rooms in which we can modify our age and do whatever we like.” He smiled, as if snapping back to his thirteen-year-old regular self. “It’s really cool! We could show you…”

“No” his mother cut him off. “Not right now. I… this needs to sink in. “I mean… _you_ built a giant castle? A giant _floating_ castle? With _towers_? And sci-fi machinery? And a _licorice dispenser_?” She shook her head. “And… and this is the kind of stuff you and Ferb have been working on all this time?”

Phineas and Ferb exchanged glances. “Well, maybe not exactly this” Phineas admitted. “But basically, yeah.”

Linda looked up, the expression on her face one of total confusion, and caught sight of her daughter. “Candace! I – I’m so sorry I doubted you. All this time, you were right, and only now…” She folded her arms and frowned at her younger children. “Boys, you are so _busted_!”

The anger in her voice made Phineas, Ferb and Isabella shrink back under her gaze, and it was enough for Candace to rush forwards. “Mom, wait!”

Her mother gave her a curious look. “What is it, Candace?”

The girl sighed. “Look, if you… if the boys are going to be…”

Part of her still couldn’t believe she was saying this. But frankly, there was nothing else she could be saying right now. Anything else would forever leave her feeling guilty.

“If you’re going to bust Phineas and Ferb for building all this, then you can bust me too. Because I helped build it. I’m just as responsible as they are.”

Linda just stared at her in disbelief, and to Candace it felt like the longest moment of her life as she tried to avoid the expressions of her mother, her brothers _and_ Isabella. Eventually, her mother nodded. “I’m going into the house to take some tea to steady my nerves” she said softly. “I expect all of you to be there within ten minutes unless you want to get into even more trouble.”

She walked outside and closed the door behind her, and for a moment there was an awkward silence. The boys looked at Candace, and Candace, despite the mixed feelings she was having at that moment, looked at them. It was Isabella who finally broke the moment by giving her a look that was somewhere in-between a smirk and a glare and shaking her head.

“Well, that was either really sweet or really stupid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a definite irony in Candace finally giving up on busting her brothers and that turning out to be the day Linda finally sees everything (for which I don't have a canon explanation - maybe the Mysterious Force died off because of Candace's wish to bust dying off?) And then Candace gets busted herself. The Isabella quote at the end is a quote from her counterpart in the Star Wars crossover, by the way. I thought it fit well here. Anyway, this is the penultimate chapter, the final one will be here soon. Please let me know what you thought about it!


	31. Epilogue Part Two - “There’s no one that I’d rather go nowhere with than you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Quote: "There's No One I'd Rather Go Nowhere With" (song), "Last Day of Summer". 
> 
> Well, here's the absolute final chapter of the story. There's nothing more to it than this. I remember back when I didn't know whether I was ever going to finish it, but it's done and uploaded now. I hope you all enjoyed it. 
> 
> As for continuation, all stories I've currently written fit in the same continuity, with the exception of some of my AU drabbles which are clearly marked as AU. Next in the "FLS-verse", as I'll call it, is "Mundane Abnormality", followed by "The Little Things That Changed". I've also planned out a story which takes place when Candace and Phineas are adults. It should be shorter than this one... not that that's saying much. 
> 
> As for alternate universes, I'm planning to upload stories for what I call my "Severed Bonds AU", the premise of which is simple: remember Chapter Twenty-Eight "Don't worry. It'll be all right" when Isabella almost jumps into her pool because of her misery over Phineas? Well, what if she did? Expect sadness, heartbreak, and a lot more sadness and heartbreak. If or when I upload some of it, I should probably include the names of the fics here so that you can track them down easier. Maybe I'll just use this site's system to link up the separate stories as part of a series, though. AOOO is really pretty good on that front. 
> 
> Well, I guess that's all I had to say. I'll just end with a final call to please, please review and let me know what you think. Kudos are nice and are appreciated, but I'd love to hear what you thought of this chapter, the entire plot, the title quotes, and whether it's true to canon or not. Feel free to share your opinion, including if you didn't enjoy it and thought something could be better or just doesn't work at all. And remember, Carpe Diem!

This was not how Phineas Flynn had expected the day to end at all. But that should really go without saying at this point.

He didn’t even know how to feel at this point. He had never really thought Candace was right about the whole ‘Mom being upset about the inventions we create’ business, and his mother’s anger had come as a shock to him. Perhaps even more of a surprise was the fact that Candace had actually stepped forwards and agreed to join them in whatever their punishment was going to be. And although he wouldn’t have used the same words, Phineas could agree with Isabella’s sentiment. Candace hadn’t needed to speak up for them. She could have easily gotten off scot-free, so why had she done this?

He smiled comfortingly at his sister and took her hand. In Candace’s eyes, he could see the concern about how all this would turn out. Frankly he wasn’t sure himself either, so… Sighing, Phineas turned back to Ferb. “We’d better go back inside the house” he said. “We wouldn’t want to make Mom even angrier. I guess the castle will disappear on its own… or maybe it won’t. Everything’s going to be different now.”

“Do you really think your mother will actually punish us for doing all this?” Isabella wondered. “I mean, it’s not like you guys kept it a secret from her. She just never believed it was real.”

Phineas shrugged. “I don’t know. I hope we can have a reasonable conversation with her about it. And in any case, she shouldn’t be able to punish you or Candace – you’re not one of our siblings, and Candace hasn’t participated in nearly as many projects as we have.”

Isabella patted Phineas’ shoulder. “That might be true, but we’re here now, and we’re not going to leave your side. Not to mention that if you’re not allowed to invent anymore, that would feel like a punishment for me already. You two love inventing, and I can’t imagine what your lives would be like if you couldn’t do that anymore, and one of the worst things I could imagine is seeing you two depressed all the time. Inventing is your life, Phineas. Yours, and Ferb’s. No one should take that away from you.”

The four teenagers got down into the backyard and headed into the house. Phineas could hear his mother was on the phone, so they all settled in on the couch in the living room. Perry – apparently back from his daily absence – walked over to him and allowed him to scoop him up and pet him. But as comforting as petting his platypus usually was, Phineas’ mind just wasn’t there right now.

After what felt like forever his mother came back into the room and sat down opposite them. “I just called your father” she explained. “He told me he’s seen some of the things you’ve built before, but he somehow presumed that I was aware of them.”

Candace cleared her throat. “Well, to be fair, I have been trying for a long time to get you to see all of this and you never did. Everything was always gone just as you would show up, and you’d go back inside the house thinking I was crazy.”

Linda gave her a sympathetic look. “I never saw anything” she lamented. “I think that’s what bothered me most after I got over my initial anger – why did I never see that my boys were building such crazy things in my own backyard! I’m your mother, I should be there to protect you from danger and here you’ve been creating things that aren’t even supposed to be possible!” She pointed out of the window. “I mean, just look at that thing! You built a floating castle in the space of a few hours! How did you manage to… I mean, how could you possibly…”

“Advanced quantum mechanics” Phineas replied. “We’d be willing to explain it to you, of course…”

Linda sighed and shook her head. “I think I’ll pass on that. I don’t want to look like an idiot next to my thirteen-year-old son. I mean… this is dangerous! What if you fell out of the windows, what if you burned yourselves using whatever materials you must have used to put that castle together… and if even half of Candace’s stories are true, then you have been doing things that are so much crazier than this! I’m your mother, boys, and you’re just kids! You can’t go messing with stuff like that! Part of me wants to ground you for a month or two, and that’s not because I’m mad at you per se but because I just don’t think you realize the things you’re messing with!”

There was a silence in the room for a few moments, and then Candace spoke up. “I don’t think you really understand the situation, Mom.”

Her mother looked up. “Well, after seeing this, I’m certainly open to the thought that I haven’t seen the big picture yet. This is a castle, but you called me about rollercoasters, water slides, space ships…”

Candace shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. I meant to say that Phineas and Ferb aren’t ‘just’ like any other teenage boys. They’re special.” As she noticed Phineas look up at her she put an arm around his shoulders. “And as much as Phineas tries to tell me that the things they can do are possible for anyone who puts their mind to it, and that’s true, I tried it today and I could pull it off, that still doesn’t change the fact that these two are special. They never needed that encouragement to accomplish all the things they’ve accomplished. They can break the laws of physics with little to no effort or troubles, they’ve been doing it on their own from the day you married Dad and we all became a family together, and it’s been their lifelong passion ever since. Phineas and Ferb love inventing things and achieving the impossible more than you could ever realize, and whatever you’re going to do to us I beg you, please don’t take that away from them.”

Linda just stared at her daughter after that, and Phineas took the opportunity of the silence to look up at his big sister and whisper into her ear. “Thanks.”

Candace smiled awkwardly at him. “You deserved that.”

“Candace, honey,” their mother said with a sigh, “it’s great to hear you’re standing up for your brothers like that. And as long as the things they’re doing aren’t dangerous and are benefiting people rather than harming them…” She turned to Isabella. “Is that true?”

“Definitely” Isabella confirmed. “Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, Phineas and Ferb would never forgive themselves if anyone got hurt during their projects. They take safety precautions, and even though you can’t cover all bases and there are still some risks that are left open no matter what they do I trust them that it’ll be fine. Phineas and Ferb are the most brilliant people I’ve ever met. If anything were to go wrong, they could fix it. I may have come over to play with Phineas and Ferb’s inventions at first because of the feelings I had for Phineas, but I never would have stayed here if I thought I wouldn’t be safe.”

Linda sighed. “Lawrence told me something similar – that you always seemed to know what you were doing, and that no one had ever really gotten hurt.” She looked at her sons. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should lay off and get used to this, and just keep a close eye on what you’re doing over the next few days to assure myself that everything is fine. Maybe I should even be delighted that my sons are brilliant rather than be angry at you for it.” She shook her head. “But I guess it still bothers me that I never knew this until now. If what Candace said is true and inventing is your lifelong passion and I never knew that at all, then what kind of a parent does that make me?”

“It’s fine, Mom” Phineas said softly. “You’ve always been there for us with pie at the end of the day, and you’ve been the greatest Mom we ever could have wished for. It’s not your fault that you never seemed to see what we made – it’s really strange how that always seemed to happen. Candace always thought there was some kind of mysterious force at work in the backyard.”

Linda snorted, then frowned, then shook her head. “Thanks, Phineas” she replied. “But it still bothers me that I’ve apparently been so oblivious for so long. I mean, if I missed this, then who knows what else I could have missed! There could be tons of secrets in this household that I never had any idea about!” She frowned. “ _Are_ there any other major things I don’t know about?”

She just had to ask, hadn’t she.

Phineas nervously gulped and looked at his sister, who was shaking her head. Ferb and Isabella looked equally uncomfortable. But even though neither of them spoke up, his mother noticed their expressions. “Wait, is there really something else I never noticed before?” She sighed. “Boys… and Candace… if something big is going on in your lives then I want to know that. Phineas? Candace?”

The redhead blushed ferociously. His mother’s attention was focused on him and his sister now, so their expressions alone must have given them away – which was understandable given how they were put on the spot right now. He just couldn’t see a way out. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t lie to his mother. He knew telling the truth could land them in big trouble, but… “Well… I…”

Linda frowned. “Well I what, Phineas?”

Phineas gulped. “It’s hard to tell you… it might be a lot to take in especially on top of all this, but Candace and I… we…”

“They broke your favorite vase!”

The exclamation came not from either of the suspected siblings, but from an entirely different direction altogether. Linda’s head swiveled towards Isabella, who was keeping an entirely straight face. “I’m sorry guys, but I have to say it now. Candace told me this morning that they broke your vase and didn’t know how to tell you. Isn’t that right, Candace?”

“That’s true!” Candace exclaimed eagerly, almost too eagerly. “I – I’m sorry we did that, Mom, it was an accident and Phineas and Ferb already built a replacement, but I know that was a wedding present from your first marriage and how precious it was to you, so I’m so sorry… I don’t even remember how it happened, it all went so fast…”

“That’s all right, Candace” Linda replied sighing. “The important part is that you’re sorry. I get that you didn’t mean to break the vase, and honestly, there are more important things to worry about right now.” She shook her head. “I’m going to go read a book in the living room and maybe get myself some time to think. Dinner will be ready at six, so I don’t know if you can get that… that castle out there removed before then?”

“Sure thing, Mom” Phineas replied. He was tempted to invite her to look around inside and see for herself that it was harmless, but he figured that this wasn’t the time to ask. Oh well, there could always be a next time.

Their mother had only been out of the room for a few seconds when Candace turned to Isabella with a mischievous grin on her face. “Now _that_ was either really sweet or really stupid.”

Isabella blushed. “Hey, I didn’t want you two to get in trouble for dating. You’re my friends, and I’m over Phineas by now, so…” She shrugged. “What can I say? I’m beginning to accept you as a couple.”

“So does that mean Phineas and I can kiss in front of you now?”

“…let me get back to you on that.”

As Candace chuckled, Phineas stood up and walked over to the window, Ferb following close behind. “Say, Candace,” he asked her, “do you think this means the end of the mysterious force? Now that Mom has officially busted us, our inventions may never disappear on their own anymore. That would mean a lot of clean-up work for us in the future.”

Candace chuckled. “Well, I don’t think I’m really an expert on how the whole mysterious force works” she replied. “I’ve been trying to figure it out for years now without success, but I’ve always failed. But I think you may have a point there. It’ll be interesting to see if you can build something tomorrow without Mom seeing it.”

Phineas nodded. “Although she did say she was going to keep an eye on us, so she might be more alert now. That ought to change things on its own.”

“You’re right” Candace agreed. She shook her head. “I can understand why you felt bad about lying to Mom, though… I mean, I don’t want to keep our relationship from her and Dad forever, and yet at the moment I don’t think we could ever really tell them, if you know what I mean.” She snorted. “So much for this whole ‘not keeping secrets from each other anymore’ Aesop we seemed to have established last November.”

“Well, that situation was different” Isabella pointed out. “I was hiding my crush from Phineas, you two were hiding your relationship from me, and those were things that actually involved me as the person it was being hidden from, and that’s part of what caused it all to go so wrong. And it was partly bad luck that it did – I mean, Ferb kept the fact that he had a crush on me hidden for weeks, and although I might have preferred to know that sooner I don’t think that really caused major problems in the long run.” Ferb blinked at her. “It’s okay, Ferb. But what I was saying… your mother isn’t directly involved in this. Of course, she’s your parent, but the only way her not knowing your relationship is closer than it appears to be could provide trouble is if she were to set either you or Phineas up with someone… and I don’t think that’s something she would do, or even something that could become a real issue between you given how close you two are now.”

“So the moral of the whole adventure is not to keep secrets from people whom it affects personally, but you can keep them from people who aren’t as closely involved?” Candace wondered. “I guess that makes some sense.”

“Or maybe there isn’t a moral” Phineas replied pensively. “This is real life, after all. It doesn’t really have morals the way stories are supposed to.”

Isabella frowned. “So does that mean that you can just do whatever you like and there’s no clear right or wrong thing, and stuff just happens when it does? I’m not sure I like that idea.”

“Good point” Phineas conceded. “Maybe it’s not so much that real life doesn’t have morals, it’s just that they aren’t always as straightforward or clear-cut as one might expect.”

Isabella thought about that for a few seconds. “You know, that does sound sensible. I could live with that.”

“All right, enough about morals” Candace said. “If you’d ask me about what happened, I’m just glad everything ended so well. I hadn’t really expected that.”

“The ‘your Mom finding out about your brothers’ inventions’ thing, or the ‘dating Phineas’ thing?” Isabella wondered.

“The former, although the latter counts as well” Candace replied. “I guess I no longer have reasons to be unhappy now. My busting days are over, I graduated high school, college is going to be fine, I’ve got great friends and the best boyfriend I could ever wish for.”

Isabella smirked at her. “Yeah, Phineas is pretty cool – but he’s no Ferb. I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but I do think Ferb is the better boyfriend out of the two.”

“Really? Could have fooled me, miss ‘Phineas is the best thing since sliced bread’.”

Isabella rolled her eyes. “I got over that phase, Candace. His brother is my boyfriend now, and he is romantic, a great builder and a magnificent dancer, not to mention that he has that really cute British accent.”

“True, but at least Phineas is easy to have a conversation with, and he always knows what to say to cheer you up. He’s also the nicest and happiest guy ever.”

“Which doesn’t mean he’s a better boyfriend than Ferb. Ferb breaks the laws of physics every day with the things he builds.”

“Using the blueprints Phineas made.”

“As if Ferb couldn’t design a blueprint… or Phineas couldn’t build anything, for that matter. They work together, and that’s when their genius shines through.”

Ferb frowned. “You do realize we’re standing right here.”

“Of course we do” his sister cheerfully replied. “But we wouldn’t be flagrantly comparing boyfriend qualities in front of you if we expected it to really bother you.”

Ferb shook his head and turned back to his brother, who was still staring outside. As he became aware that Phineas had been looking at the same spot for over a minute now, he gave him an inquisitive look.

“I was just thinking” Phineas explained. “Thinking about everything that’s happened in the past months, and of all the relationships we’ve gone through. There’s been a great deal of change in our lives since just under a year ago. Candace is my girlfriend now, and Isabella is yours. Candace got over her busting obsession, while Mom finally busted us regardless of that. Those are all things that are going to have an impact on our daily lives in the years to come, and it just feels strange, you know? To look outside and to know that so many of the things you take for granted can and will… change like that. And they could very well do so again.”

He looked out at his invention in the backyard, pondering over how different everything had been in his life just one year ago and how different it would be again when Candace would soon head to college herself, the way Jeremy had so long ago. Could their relationship weather the storm, even when ‘Canderemy’ hadn’t?

Then he realized something, chuckled, and resolutely shook his head.

“You know what, Ferb?” he said. “I’m worrying for no reason at all. Sure, maybe there are going to be some differences in our lives, and some of them will make me uncomfortable or even worried. But we can deal with that. Because as much as all of those details in our relationships and who is what to whom may change, this,” he waved to encompass both his group of friends and his projects outside, “this will _never_ change.”

**THE END.**


End file.
